Final Cat
Stoutrunt
Live translating kitty pidgin
Posts: 160
Pronouns: I'd rather not say
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Post by Final Cat on Jan 21, 2017 20:41:08 GMT
Poke a hole in the basket with the stale Slim Jim. Then climb through the hole into an alternate reality where none of this happened.
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Post by Con Air on Jan 22, 2017 18:44:13 GMT
Unfortunately the alternate reality is ancient Egypt. Your basket combusts. You have a candy cane and a mushroom. What will you do?
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Final Cat
Stoutrunt
Live translating kitty pidgin
Posts: 160
Pronouns: I'd rather not say
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Post by Final Cat on Jan 22, 2017 18:55:26 GMT
Sacrifice the candy cane and mushroom to Ra and fly into the sun like a fucking piece of shit
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Post by Con Air on Jan 22, 2017 19:25:48 GMT
You need to post a situation, poop lord!
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Final Cat
Stoutrunt
Live translating kitty pidgin
Posts: 160
Pronouns: I'd rather not say
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Post by Final Cat on Jan 22, 2017 19:42:25 GMT
Oops. Frightening Beasts have invaded your home. All you have is an unpowered mini alchemization system, Undersea mushroom paste, and a copper spoon. You also have a present containing a plastic spork, a replica boonbuck, and a SBaHJ comic. What do?
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Post by Con Air on Jan 23, 2017 15:22:26 GMT
I fling the mushroom paste at one of the beasts with the spoon. It gets dissolved. I then alchemise two beasts together, turning them into a Perfectly Generic Cube. I then offer the last beast a sbahj comic in exchange for the fake boonbucks. Due to the beasts being no smarter than the average rock and thinking that sbahj is great and the boonbucks are real, it accepts. I then stab it with the spork. But ra has not accepted your sacrifice enough, and you are now in the Roman Times. You have a candy cane and a mushroom. What will you do?
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Final Cat
Stoutrunt
Live translating kitty pidgin
Posts: 160
Pronouns: I'd rather not say
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Post by Final Cat on Jan 23, 2017 15:37:10 GMT
You were supposed to make a battery with the acidic paste and the copper spoon, subnautica style. Then power the alchemiter to combine the other things and kill the beasts with the result.
I poke the candy cane through the mushroom and then use it as a magic pistol to disintegrate both of us.
You are trapped in the bootleg universe. If you don't escape, you'll become another shitty meme. You have a mutilated gourd, a sack of shit, a biofueled antigourd portal generator, and a crystal of life aspect.
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Post by Con Air on Jan 23, 2017 16:36:31 GMT
I compare grand dad to the Poo and he runs off. I then bring a dead barbarian back to life with the crystal and tell him to whack a wall with the generator. He obliges and makes a rift. I eat the gourd so I don't die of hunger and go back into the rift. You are now in Beethovens orchestra. You have a sousaphone and a Christmas ornament. What do?
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axolotlSushi
Scampermaster
Hi, my name is That Bastard
Posts: 215
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by axolotlSushi on Jan 24, 2017 2:57:59 GMT
Use the instrument to launch the Christmas ornament at the conductor, and walk away whilst flipping everyone off.
You're trapped in a steel orb with nothing but a dualblade, a journal, and your own (impressive for your size, but otherwise dismissible) strength. What do you do?
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Post by Con Air on Feb 24, 2017 14:08:24 GMT
I read about how to get out, then slice the orb in half with my durablade and my strength. You are about to get nuked. You have a film reel and a bowl of guacamole.
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axolotlSushi
Scampermaster
Hi, my name is That Bastard
Posts: 215
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by axolotlSushi on Feb 26, 2017 7:07:32 GMT
Run as far as you can, wrap yourself in the film reel to protect yourself from radioactivity (and so that you can peel it off in the aftermath), and eat the guacamole for nourishment that you're about 51% sure is not toxic.
You've found yourself trapped in the prospitian moon, which could spontaneously detonate at any moment. On hand, you have a candlestick, a bear leg, and an unconscious Life player. What a conundrum.
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Post by Con Air on Mar 12, 2017 1:28:13 GMT
I slap the life player conscious, then force him to reincarnate the bear. The Zombie bear tunnels into the moon and finds a moon destroying bomb, which I set on fire and throw away. You are about to be dunked in lava by Doctor Evil! You have a Ring Pop, some orange soda, and a replica Sphinx.
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Post by Con Air on Sept 25, 2017 1:04:54 GMT
bunp
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venchi
Rungjumpin' Ragamuffin
Posts: 283
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by venchi on Oct 5, 2017 17:57:17 GMT
I bribe one of Doctor Evil's henchmen with the ringpop by pretending it's expensive jewelry. After he has released me, I open the viscously shaken orange soda in Evil's face which blinds him. As I run away I drop the replica sphinx behind me in hopes they are too stupid too realize it's fake and waste time trying to recall the answer to the riddle of the Sphinx.
You're stuck a 5 square foot room in the top of a tower, the only way in and out is a window just big enough for you to fit through. You have antacid tablets, a red liquorice lace and sunglasses.
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Post by Con Air on Oct 5, 2017 21:48:53 GMT
I tie one end of the licorice to the sunglasses, making a makeshift grappling hook. Then I climb up. I find a fat guard. I stuff the antacids in the licorice, then feed it to him, and he esplodes.
You are in a collapsing mineshaft. You have an old camera, a roomba, and a paint bucket.
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