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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 4, 2016 11:31:11 GMT
Catch up on MSPFA, since there was already 60 pages before I started putting them here. Also, join the discord!
Pants: View stats.You are currently at rung SIX of your ECHELADDER. Your TRUSTING is at 5, your FAITHFULNESS is at a lousy 3, your ATTACKTION is at 7, your CUTEGOODNESS is at a healthy 12, your PANTRITUDE is at a whopping 18, your SPECIALIZATION is at 9, your DEFENSIVITY is at 8, your INTELLECTUALISM is at a pathetic 4 (you are, after all, a cat), and your bonus stat, FLOOFINESS, is at an unimaginable 19. You also have 2,422 BOONDOLLARS.
It sure is a good thing you read through all that to know all the pointless extended names of the stats that don't matter.
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by randomwriter on Jun 4, 2016 14:35:16 GMT
>Hop on owner.
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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 4, 2016 16:33:24 GMT
Pants: Hop on owner.
You prepare to strike. FRIENDPOUNCING is something you engage in with your guardian often, and most of the time you do it with nearly zero prior warning. It's more fun that way!
==>
POUNCE!!!
==>
You made sure not to HURT them, naturally. You'd never do that! Friendpounces are about fun and joy. It looks like one of their human acquaintances is trying to contact them. Maybe you should get off them for now.
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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 4, 2016 20:22:47 GMT
??
heheh.
it's INCREDIBLE, isn't it? the amount of offshoots is, theoretically, INFINITE.
but then again, i guess LORDS are as powerful as they come.
i wonder if it was DELIBERATE? surely the lord of time must have known. what happens when you mess with spacetime. when you SCRATCH, and when you SHATTER. perhaps it was part of his PLAN. to become responsible for EVERYTHING. even in stories where he has no reach.
well, i suppose it doesn't MATTER, does it? after all... even he, the most POWERFUL being reality itself has ever known, had the same fate as all those he DOMINATED.
a lord of TIME has the power to shape all that is to his whim. but none can escape DOOM.
the BEST part though, that's the AFTERMATH. as i already stated, the offshoots are infinite. a million to the power of a million doomed timelines, that were never meant to EXIST in the first place. and i see them ALL.
sometimes, they KNOW. they can sense it, from the moment they are born, that everything they will ever know is DOOMED.
other times, they are OBLIVIOUS, and will only discover the TRUTH after they have already FAILED.
but, my favorite? the ones where they find out their FATE, and attempt to defy it.
this story is one of those, isn't it? an epic tale of a FUTILE struggle?
... that was a QUESTION. i know you can hear me, MUSE. and i know this STORY is yours.
i have n∞thing t∞ say t∞ y∞u. heheheh, of COURSE you don't.
well, i've said what i had to SAY. who knows, perhaps this timeline will prove INTERESTING. i'll let it RESUME now, assuming there are any READERS left who care enough to continue.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2016 20:44:20 GMT
>Resume the timeline, but do it really condescendingly.
>Answer your friend!
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jun 4, 2016 20:55:07 GMT
> go back to being dolci
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Post by Acheron on Jun 4, 2016 21:51:20 GMT
>Give more exposition on the muse and yourself.
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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 5, 2016 8:02:37 GMT
??: Give more exposition on the muse and yourself.
you think it'll be THAT easy? heh. if you really want some information, i suppose i can be GENEROUS enough to give you the BASICS.
i am NADIR. she is ZENITH. she gives LIFE, and i CONDEMN it.
naturally, it's more COMPLICATED than that. but you haven't earned the RIGHT to know such things. maybe if i'm in a good mood later, we'll see.
Nadir: Resume the timeline, but do it really condescendingly.
the LORD of DOOM, in all his BENEVOLENCE, graciously grants you the FREEDOM to continue the story. ∞h, shut up.
Go back to being Dolci.
PANTSQUEST is paused as we return to the perspective of Dolci. You are currently lying on the floor, having been the victim of an unexpected FRIENDPOUNCE. Strangely, it feels as if you've been lying here with this same vacant expression for some time. Oh well. More important things to worry about.
Dolci: Answer your friend.
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Post by Neptz on Jun 5, 2016 8:23:13 GMT
(Wait. I know your name. BYOND. Misuterii? Wooooow, of all places... )
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jun 5, 2016 16:49:14 GMT
> Videogame: Happen
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Post by pigeon_feet on Jun 5, 2016 18:23:35 GMT
> Make It Happen
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Post by Acheron on Jun 5, 2016 22:38:34 GMT
>Return to Pantsquest.
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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jun 6, 2016 22:58:12 GMT
>Make it happen >Do a little dance with Pants
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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 7, 2016 1:56:19 GMT
Dolci: Make it happen.
Wait for it.
==>
Wait for it...
==>
Waaait for it.....
Videogame: Happen.
BAM. Video game.
Dolci: Press [ENTER].
You proceed to spend around a minute or so transfixed by a flashy loading screen everyone's almost undoubtedly seen before.
Return to PANTSQUEST.
Just as you're switching back to PANTS, the CHARACTER RANDOMIZER pops up! Seems as though it's been RANDOMIZING this whole time unbeknownst to you, and has only just now reached a conclusion. You guess the whole PANTSQUEST thing may have been a way to pass the time or even just a SHITTY RUSE, which makes sense given that Pants was never in the randomizer in the first place.
Isn't this the next character you would've been chronologically anyway? You wonder for a moment if the RANDOMIZER did anything at all to change the story, or if it was naturally headed this way the entire time. Guess there's just no changing FATE.
==>
A young lady stands in her bedroom. She's sort of wondering why we're still doing the BORING STEREOTYPICAL INTROS. Is it because of tradition? Some desire to adhere to what the original concept once was? In a way, perhaps NONE OF US will ever know.
As she was currently about to begin a certain video game with a certain young teenager and that would've been no time for an introduction, we are viewing her from approximately FIVE MINUTES IN THE PAST. It seems certain already that there will no doubt be many a SHENANIGAN involving TIME with this young lady. This young lady named...
Named...
...She thinks it's a little weird that NAMES are only being given now, on a completely arbitrary date, instead of on some important occasion like a BIRTHDAY or something. But it most likely doesn't matter. So, what's her name?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 2:14:35 GMT
>Dragonfart mcstinkbreath
>Fraya Winters
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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jun 7, 2016 2:17:18 GMT
>Dragonfart mcstinkbreath >Fraya Winters Seconded
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jun 7, 2016 3:54:15 GMT
> Featherbottom Beakstench
> Reilly Ross
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Post by Sharkalien on Jun 7, 2016 4:17:28 GMT
>Piss >Kronk
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Post by homeysomey on Jun 7, 2016 22:32:03 GMT
>Goth girl >Konia Scarna
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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 8, 2016 1:12:40 GMT
Enter name.
Dammit. You were hoping that maybe, just maybe, we had moved on entirely from the shitty joke name gag. You were perfectly content simply receiving a regular name, presumably one fitting some unknown number pattern with no significant relevance whatsoever, and moving on. You're not sure beaks even HAVE a stench, anyway. And whoever put it in didn't even spell it right? This whole situation is so shitty. At least you should be getting a normal, perfectly acceptable name now.
Try again.
You are bombarded with shitty names. Dear god why.
One more time.
That one'll do the trick.
Examine room.
Your name is ALITA. As was previously mentioned, you are soon going to engage in a VIDEO GAME with one of your FRIENDS. But right now the only thing you're doing is KILLING TIME waiting for them, which isn't something that lists very high on your INTERESTS. On the subject of INTERESTS, you do happen to have a few despite the general EMPTINESS of your room. You have a fascination with ANIMALS, and while BIRDS are clearly the obvious favorite your passion extends to all fauna, both REAL AND OTHERWISE. You also tend to like VERY MAINSTREAM THINGS for the most part, though sometimes you have trouble telling if you actually ENJOY said things or if you just like them to try to connect with people. This doesn't often work out as you are VERY SOCIALLY AWKWARD, leading to most of your conversations with the few friends you have being rather SHORT. On top of your interest in animals, you also have a mild interest in the BESTIALLY STRANGE AND OTHERWORLDLY, though it pales in comparison to that of a certain FRIEND of yours we haven't been introduced to yet.
It is currently 5:40 PM. What will you do?
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Post by homeysomey on Jun 8, 2016 1:31:54 GMT
>Alita: Kiss Harry Potter poster.
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Post by pigeon_feet on Jun 8, 2016 1:56:21 GMT
>Alita: Go make friends with a bird.
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Post by cobaltergeist on Jun 8, 2016 2:43:15 GMT
> Be your Pet.
> All players: Have pets that get a sizable chunk of screentime.
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jun 8, 2016 3:56:10 GMT
> Dye your hair pink, and rename yourself Aelita
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Post by Kaoxitium on Jun 14, 2016 0:30:46 GMT
Alita: Check computer to see if your friend is back.
You do that, giving us a nice look at your DESKTOP. Dolci is nowhere to be seen, naturally. What do you think this is, five minutes in the future?
Alita: Open browser and go to mspaintadventures.com
You take a moment to witness two authors of comics that are not this one duke it out in a STRIFE of such wonder and amazement that it will surely be forever remembered as one of the most pivotal moments in all of known history, despite the fact that it's apparently mostly just a bunch of yelling. If you're reading this on MSPFA you'll recognize that this is panel 88, and therefore another act 8 joke was practically obligatory. If you're not, then that's what the reference.
Alita: Examine book on floor.
Oh, you forgot you left that there. Good thing it's still present. It's probably a VERY BAD IDEA to ever lose track of this thing.
==>
This hefty tome contains a mere whisper of knowledge on the ever indescribable 48 ELDER GODS that comprise the NOBLE CIRCLE OF HORRORTERRORS, the omnipotent, omniscient rulers of the LESSER GODS that dwell within the darkest depths of the FURTHEST RING. As gaining any information on such beings is IMPOSSIBLE, it's implied heavily in the book that the knowledge contained within is simply what they themselves will allow mortals to know.
You have no recollection of ever OBTAINING or RECEIVING this book, but you've had it for quite some time regardless. You remember that you did not always have it, but you do not remember not having it. It's generally best NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT. You're going to leave it alone for now. Whenever you try to read it an unprecedented amount of TIME usually passes, and yet you feel none the wiser upon tearing yourself away.
Alita: Kiss Harry Potter poster.
This, clearly, is a MUCH better use of your time. In your youth, you found yourself attracted to RON's ridiculously absurd face. Now you know better than that.
...Hang on, this other poster is in the way. Sorry, FLYING MONSTERS, you won't be relevant until act 5.
==>
There we go. You give HERMIONE GRANGER a good old smooch because you are REALLY GAY.
==>
It occurs to you a little late that kissing posters is very silly.
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