because there aren't enough of these already. i just made too many locales and sprite edits for me to not go through with this
You are a Romantic Hero of the most BYRONIC ideal; bright, youthful, daring, and perhaps a bit alcoholic. After one of your many ROMANTIC EXPLOITS which you are too hung over to remember, you find yourself alone in a room in front of a FRENCH WINDOW. It is a windy Autumn evening. You are feeling particularly passionate.
You notice the two sheets of paper lying on top of the chest. Picking them up and reading the NOTES in order, you can tell that one of them was definitely yours. The other one, however, has handwriting that you cannot recognize.
You deposit both of the notes in your INVENTORY. Their tender contents, whatever their actual relation may be, cause your MELANCHOLY to increase. You wince slightly at the eyemurder inflicted by the SHITTY ADVDENTURE GAME UI.
>Desperately try to suck up lost LIQUOR WINE from ye rug, lest it seep in and stain, and perhaps postpone ye Hangover for another few moments.
Immediately you drop to the floor and give it your trademark KISS OF BEVERAGE BURGLARY, not even sure that it is LIQUOR WINE on the floor. You are incredibly glad that it DOES turn out to be wine, actually, otherwise that would have been horrible. The alcohol diminishes your MELANCHOLY and increases your IMAGINATION slightly.
>Lecture nobody in particular
You cannot yet deploy the LV. 2 MANEUVRE: AIMLESS LECTURE as you lack the requisite EXPERIENCE POINTS in your PASSION CACHE. Instead, you employ the LV. 1 MANEUVRE: IMPROMPTU SOLILOQUY.
It seems that you have attracted an audience on the EASTERN portion of the room.
You are quite sure you have never seen a rose anywhere in this room, especially not on top of this chest. You do notice that there is something black however, an ORNATE RAPIER. It seems a bit dangerous to just have lying around, but you can't fault its presence.
>Consider the community. Are there, among your neighbors or visiting elite, any eligible LADIES to woo? Perhaps those with sizable . . . Dowries?
To tell the complete truth, you have absolutely no idea where you are! Though the gothic architecture and array of artifacts that litter this room are much to your liking, they are almost entirely foreign to you! Such being the case, your DAME RELIQUARY is sorely lacking in terms of nearby entries. >RH: Investigate the yellowy substance on the windowsill
That is most certainly vomit. Possibly your own, but you can never be sure. Disgusting!
You take the ROSE in hand, its days-old scent gives the memory of romance and promise to the crisp autumn air. To see but the ruins of beauty is something sad, but it brims with poetry. The feeling of its smooth steel urges you to kill, stab, maim! Its thorns will be your servant of blood. Lightning cracks and thunder bellows, it makes no sense that you should open a chest with a flower, but tonight is not a night where sense shall in use. Passion rules the day, and you exude it in adequate quantity.
>Wear the skull like a mask to make you look more mysterious, Mr. flabby romantic idealist!!!
As you don the skull upon your head you find it to be surprisingly well fitting, it feels so natural in fact that you sense the WHIMS OF ANCIENT DRUIDIC LORE begin to take you and present various urges to you. Being a romantic man, you have no choice but to indulge just a little bit, so you decide to waste about thirty minutes in a PAGAN TARANTELLA. Congratulations!
>Resist the urge to recite Shakespeare
You fail miserably. Oh, how King Lear is your absolute favorite work by the bard. You feel a lot like the old man at times, though you lack the dementia and the daughters. The kingdom, too. You begin to reconsider your similarities to the legendary mad king.
>Look for secret hidden in skull
All of your shaking and seizing about seems to have revealed a letter hidden inside of the skull. Sure is a lot of reading tonight! Perhaps this is all a plot to diminish your sight? To make you look like a massive fucking doofus with some glasses? Who knows. Either way, you decide to give the letter a good read.
Huh... You wonder who this letter is addressed to. You know enough about who its from, at least. It's from some jerkwad lazy author trying to be shocking or something. You've had enough penny dreadfuls in your day to know exactly how these play out. BO-RING
>Read Chest Note!
It's about time you start doing what real life is all about. Inspecting your surroundings and collecting items! You slip the note in with the rest in your inventory and begin to poke around. There's a time tested formula and you're well aware of it. You look around your room, find all the shit you can find, and then try to imagine all of the possible interactive combinations of every item you possess to brute force your way through life! It's not that hard! It works too. Anyway, you look at the note left on the chest.
You don't recognize the handwriting, as it isn't yours, and the drawing seems to be way above your ability anyway. It seems to be the work of a PICTORIAL ILLUSTRATOR. You recognize the figure depicted however, and agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly!
A spectator looks on in the western part of the room.
At the same time, another observer operates from a place and time remote.
The BAD BARONET throws down his crystal ball in disgust!
>Bad Baronet: Sob into your luxurious velvets. How dare that man have jovial japeries with a skull? He seems so happy. URGH. I bet you wish he was miserable.
There are two things that the BAD BARONET does not do. Number one is cry because things aren't going according to plan. Number two is take orders from ANYONE. As such he sternly redirects you to the other guy.
You are now the other guy in a room that it totally the same as it was before. Nope. Nothing redrawn here!
>RH: Move to the western part of the room and inspect the painting.
As you redirect your orientation to be in the WESTERN portion of the room, everything feels a bit less... Grounded than it once did. You cannot quite put your finger on it. Deciding not to focus too hard on odd metaphysical inconsistencies with your surroundings, you instead inspect a painting of THE EMPEROR. Though things seem a bit normal at first you find that THE IMPERIAL GAZE is even more mesmerizing than usual.
>RH: Take the painting off the wall!
Deciding that the weird eye-glowing was reason enough to inspect further, you handily removed the painting from the wall to find a bulb resting inside the wall. It seems that some sort of device you don't quite understand is flashing a light out to the opposite end of the room! But more importantly, someone defaced a portrait of the EMPEROR! You suspect none other than that Fat Bastard himself to do something so utterly sacrilegious and reprehensible.
Looking over at the eastern end of the room you see a moving picture projected onto the wall. Though you have no idea how any of this works, you bet someone could make a lot of money with something like this. To you, however, the novelty seems a bit cheap and the imagery creepy.