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Post by levenfish on Apr 24, 2016 4:29:23 GMT
All gone. Welp. Let's try this again. Hey. Bernie. Bernard Bartlett spoke to the author at 10:36PM, 4/23/2016 BB: NO. NO! DON'T BRING ME BACK. Nah. Let's do this. BB: AGH. Fine. We're doin' this, huh? It's your story. Or... well, yeah, it's your story. The rewrite is still happening. You were meant to come in at the end of that story between acts 14 and 15. Which is now Act 1 and Act 2. I'll shorten it significantly. BB: I'm gonna suffer, aren't I? I don't see a UI. I don't see my plot armor anywhere. Where do you want to start? BB: I get to pick? Actually, I did have one thing I wanted to add in. BB: Oh HELL no. Listen, it was gonna happen anyway. End of Act 14, you were gonna be put into school for... reasons I can't explain now. It's Sarese. You know why. BB: I'll admit it'll be good to be back in school. Reminds me of LoPaP. WHICH DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE. Bah, details, details. I have enough of those to begin with. Now then. ON WITH THE ADVENTURE. BB: Wait! New people won't know what this is. They don't know shit about us. Fuck. Alright. Let's take it from the top. Introduce yourself. >Protagonist: Introduce yourselfBernard Bartlett introduced himself to the empty audience at 10:54PM, 4/23/2016 BB: Hi, my name is Bernard Bartlett, You know how everyone has those first fics that they look back on and immediately delete out of shame? I... am those fics' main character. BB: Uh, right. Fourth wall only gets me so far. So the story goes that there were seven sessions. First was the 48 Squiddle session Hussie joked about, 2nd and 3rd were the Homestuck canon sessions, 4th was the canon cast raising kids to play sessions and do it right. It obviously didn't go as planned. 5th session doesn't mean jack, and it's been lost to us now anyway. I genuinely don't have the list anymore. I'm sorry. BB: 6th session is interesting. So you know how Sollux had two dreamselves? Imagine those dreamselves were mistakenly spawned one session ahead. So the 6th session, one of its player's dreamselves spawned in the 7th session, launched in the universe that the 6th session created. BB: I'm one of those dreamselves. Other... wait. Evelyn didn't spawn in the Medium. She was born in the 7th universe. BB: Right, right. So the 7th session was trippy. A player was in both the 6th and 7th sessions, 15 of the players were born IN the session itself. Not just ectobiologically. The game glitched and most of the NPCs never spawned. So a human-troll society formed, and 15 of the players would be born in that society. And so was I. Then a whole bunch of crap happened. BB: Emphasis on crap. And then it all turned out to be a simulation by this character we all kept forgetting about. RZ: Hello! BB: Raz! Good to see ya! RZ: Who are you talking to? BB: Nothin'. I'm awake earlier than I should be, aren't I? RZ: Yes, I was meaning to discuss with you your particular vocation. There are many who wish to procure your services. BB: You mean buy like a slave. RZ: To be rational, all of you are slaves to us. Some have their favored servants, but all serve regardless. BB: Uh huh. So where am I goin'? RZ: Watchers Satevi and Tasche agree that you will be sent to Imperatrix Sarese Qentas of the Aristan Exarchate to test your abilities in the field. Also something about loneliness. BB: They're there?! RZ: No, but two others like you have also gone there. Do you remember a Zhaest Origoth'bokrug and a Xescali Pilgrim? BB: Hero of Mind of the 1st session and Knight of Doom of the 4th session, right? RZ: Indeed. Zhaest was the sword and Xescali was the shield. I look forward to seeing how your addition changes the dynamic. BB: Then let's get goin'. I wanna get back to it.
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Post by levenfish on Apr 28, 2016 20:01:25 GMT
BB: And who're these? RZ: A new batch. We've been refining the Ouroboros, figuring out how short a story we can tell and still give its characters supernatural powers. BB: Why stories? RZ: Ah ah ah, that'd be telling. All I will say is that tragedy builds character. BB: Where is this, anyway? Never really got a clear answer on that. RZ: This is the Knowledge: Ouroboros Hold, on the Da'at Monolith World. This world has been entrusted to my subordinates and I to carry out activities such as your creation. BB: A lotta work for just this. RZ: Proof of concept. HM: This is the one? RZ: Yes. Bernie, this is Hamal. He is an associate of ours. HM: Advisory work on the Ouroboros' mechanisms. Soul matrices are difficult to work with when it's troll souls alone, but Mel— RZ: Hamal, please. HM: Right, right. Anyway, you want me to drop this one off as well? RZ: Yes. Bernie. We'll keep in touch, now off you go. BB: Right. BB: I'm not wearing this. HM: Taste clearly isn't a factor in production. BB: Black coats are cliche. Forget this. I'm gonn' look for somethin' else. BB: Where is this planet anyway? BB: Here's where I recap a long conversation that was covered before the MSPA forums got destroyed by Syrians or whatever.
Ships dive into an alternate dimension, pop out elsewhere. Basically hyperspace, but if things lived there too. And said things had to build highways in their dimension to allow this. Monolith Worlds are in the Empyrean, the aforementioned dimension, and they have a bunch of weird laws and all that that I, or really, the author doesn't want to explain right now.
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Post by levenfish on Apr 29, 2016 5:51:56 GMT
Sarese Qentas was at the tail end of her conversation with Kyliss Jenova at 7:21AM, 10/21/1738 SQ: So we're agreed, then. KJ: If all else falls into place, then the Pit will march with you. But I will not make the leap of faith myself. SQ: I suppose that's all I can ask for. And for discretion. KJ: You feel the need to ask? Me, of all? You wound me. HM: Hello there! KJ: Hamal. SQ: Lord Hamal. HM: Imperatrix. The last of Raziel's promised. He calls himself Bernie. BB: Hi! SQ: Lord Jenova. It seems our talk is at an end. KJ: Indeed it is. You're off for whatever you have planned? SQ: I've been waiting on him, yes. BB: He can do that? KJ: Hamal laughs at the possibility that the laws of physics would ever apply to him. Lady Qentas, a pleasure to see you. Farewell. SQ: Farewell. Now. Bernie, was it? You're human. Raziel likes his variety. BB: I know how to use a recuperacoon, if that's what you're wondering. And genetically, I'm not purely human anyway. Vestigial horns removed at birth. SQ: So what do you do then? BB: Anyone you have, I'm faster and tougher than them. And I'm also kinda smart. SQ: Maybe where you come from. What do you know about the Aristan Exarchate? BB: By smart I mean I can learn fast. SQ: Good. Follow me.
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Post by levenfish on Apr 30, 2016 3:18:17 GMT
BB: Your room? SQ: Yes. One moment. BB: 'ey, hey! What're you— SQ: Hmm. Shame about the eyes, but not bad otherwise. BB: If you're done inspectin' me like a side of meat, can we move on with it? Did you bring me here just for this?! SQ: Here's a book. Paper ones are novelties, plastic holds up better. History of Arista, from its founding during Alternia's age of discovery, to its golden age as a crownworld that rivaled the homeworld, up to now, where... things could be better. BB: Ooh. I like history. BB: Cloning vats? SQ: Some thought Alternia's time as the center of troll civilization was at an end, back then. We were claiming entire sectors left and right, and they stood by and did nothing to stop us. BB: And then the Angels? SQ: Come talk to me later about that. Not here. BB: Still looks like you got off easy. One of the most important states of the Second Sphere Empire. SQ: Not easy enough. Every single state that existed before the SSE has been dreaming of revolution for the last five hundred sweeps. But we've phased out psychics in our ships, and no seadwellers living today were alive back then. This is what they want us to think, and I don't intend to buy into any of this. I never did quite understand why the Angels were any worse than the trolls. One conqueror for another. But, you know, plot.BB: And my job, and Z's and Kali's job by extension, are to work against them. SQ: Trolls think they're the only ones in the universe. Them, and the angels, but they never really think about it. Never wondered if there was more to it. BB: What's Hamal? SQ: He's more to it. They'd held their own. Colonists steered clear of their territories. But the angels planned their conquests with everyone accounted for in the mortuary or inventory logs. BB: Us against them? SQ: If only it were that simple.
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Post by levenfish on May 3, 2016 17:54:39 GMT
BB: Ooh pretty. Also, out of universe, someone tell me how the hell to read the alt text?Bernard Bartlett greeted Zhaest Origoth'bokrug at 7:56AM, 10/21/1738 BB: Hey guys! ZO: Bernie. XP: Hey Bernie! SQ: Now that you're all here, we can get down to business. SQ: Watcher Satevi has informed me that the Archons are on Sparks, a human fringe world in one of the gloom sectors. ZO: Archons? The angels' creators? SQ: If you believe them. Two sweeps ago, the angel Samyaza, one of the major shakers and movers, disappeared, despite a dozen different dead troll's switches. XP: And he led the operation that captured them. Wait, how'd they end up on a human world? SQ: A mystery for another time. But one of those switches led to this information. I intend to pursue it before anyone else can. BB: So what are we doin' with them? SQ: I intend to bring them into a vulnerable sector in Laniakea, then release them and watch the fires burn. BB: Is that a good idea? How was it capturing them the first time? ZO: They were entrenched the first time around. Over a hundred million lost. XP: To be fair, most of those weren't by them. They just threw away like, ninety percent of them. Got glassed because they couldn't be bothered to pick them up. SQ: It's suspicious. I did some research of my own. Half of the ships those vatforms were assigned to haven't seen redeployment anywhere. BB: Vatforms? Also, why are we just releasing them? I know why, but the audience might not.XP: Long story short, the angels are bad and they should go away. SQ: Well said. The cloning vats of the Pit have thrown out countless millions of short-lived, indoctrinated vatforms that wage war on behalf of their angelic masters. The disappearance of ninety million of them is strange for its nonsensical basis; the secrets of the Pit are one of the most guarded secrets in the entire SSE. ZO: When one steals a weapon, the understanding is that one intends to use it.
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Post by levenfish on May 12, 2016 5:17:24 GMT
SQ: The entrance to the base is here. Lamast will take his contingent to draw their defenses away, the three of you will infiltrate the base, find the Archons, and bring them back to the surface. ZO: Depending on the method of imprisonment, that might be impossible. SQ: Do whatever you require, with the end result being that there's enough of a time delay to retrieve everyone and leave before we gain their attention. XP: It'll be easy! Don't worry about it. ZO: What should we expect to face down there? SQ: Scientists, guards, the usual. Nothing the two of you couldn't handle, the new one should help out. BB: Just point me in a direction, I'll kill whatever. BB: So guys. What's changed? XP: I have a sword now. I always wonder if I should've gotten a shield instead. ZO: I have a variety of tools back in my domicile on Arista. I brought a scepter that can absorb various types of energy. BB: I think you used to have this revolver, I think. ZO: It was a regular pistol, but so did you. I think I had two of them. BB: World-wise? What's changed in the world since the rewrite? ZO: I did some research into Calaan Batsch, Sarese's would be predecessor. He would've been Imperator of Arista. BB: But Arista's an exarchate of the SSE. They have an Exarch. ZO: That's exactly it. Arista's traditions dictate that they need to know what happened to Batsch's predecessor, the Imperator of Arista over 1700 years ago when the Angels invaded Laniakea. XP: And their Imperator then disappeared, and Arista became a state of the SSE. Sarese should be Imperatrix, but she can't claim it until she brings back some evidence of what happened to him. BB: And if she does? What's the difference between Imperatrix and Exarch? They seem like the same thing. SQ: It's a matter of principle. Now stop lollygagging and get to the teleporter. BB: So do you think we'll meet Tina again? XP: Probably. ZO: Last time she had bombs planted all around her city, I hope it translates to her having bombs in the base and she can detonate them at will. BB: It'd be really easy. Which makes me think there'll be complications. Remember the Sparks Memorial Service? XP: A fringe world in a so-called gloom sector. Maybe? I don't— oh my god let's just go already!
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Post by levenfish on May 13, 2016 6:20:07 GMT
Bernard Bartlett made small talk with Zhaest Origoth'bokrug at 11:12AM, 10/21/1738 BB: The engine. I thought gloom sectors didn't have stellar nodes? ZO: The Astraea's Majesty is different. Hamal, you met him? BB: How big is he, compared to the Angels? He says he's just a worker. XP: Yeah, and we're just walking sacs of meat. I think it goes that there were twelve. Seven for the heavens, five for the depths. BB: The seven are also the Archons. Is Hamal one of them? XP: Sort of. ZO: The two groups had a falling out. I don't know the details, but Hamal is free and alive, while the Archons have been missing. BB: What kind of falling out? Him workin' for the Angels makes me think their falling out, whatever it was, got the Angels their shot at bein' top dog. XP: We weren't here last time. How did this go? BB: I don't remember. I think Sarese or I figured out where to go from a map on this. But I don't have my hackin' skills this time 'round. ZO: But you do have a magical squid. I can sense them, follow me. XP: How's their aura or whatever? ZO: Dormant. They feel impaired, which I believe suggests imprisonment. BB: Good. So 'bout the ship. ZO: The ship runs on the souls of slain angels who are reanimated into controlled cybernetic bodies to guide it through the Empyrean. BB: Holy crap. XP: Anyone else feel like Sarese would've been a hippie in another life? Just me? ZO: How so? XP: She loves reusing everything. It's an Aristan thing. Someone dies, you recycle their organs, throw the bodies into corpse piles for the reanimation pillars, use their souls for power. BB: See, I never really got to experience what Arista's schtick was. Now that I know that, I don't know how I feel 'bout it. ZO: Speaking of the dead. BB: Originally I did this. So who did it this time? XP: YOU did this?! BB: Sarese told me to. XP: They're innocents! BB: To be fair, the story up to then rarely, if ever, acknowledged morality. Is that goin' to be a thing now? XP: Fuck yes! ZO: Generally, we try not to kill unless we have to. BB: And the Shale the first time 'round? XP: ...I don't wanna talk about it. Cutting people down like that made me nauseous. It's harder to sleep without sopor. BB: So... no more indiscriminate killin' then? ZO: Very, very discriminate killing is encouraged. I have a bit of blood on my hands and tentacles. Kali, a fair deal more. You, you're drowning in it. BB: Fish don't drown in water, and I never sleep well. But cause you asked. I'll try. BB: That was NOT there before. ZO: Should we abort? XP: Over this? Nah. I'm not getting any vibes. BB: That only means we won't die the moment we walk in there. XP: How bad can it really be? Z, why are YOU scared? You grew up in places like that! ZO: Excuse me! The first universe was very clean. Neat and ordered. That's just some Lovecraft-derivative mess right there. BB: Red and body horror. Kali. Where's Lucas? XP: You don't think.... ZO: Enlighten me? Who's Lucas? BB: Fourth session player, Lucas can use the Red Miles. And he's a total edgelord. XP: Raziel never talks about where the others are. How many coffins were open when you were there? BB: Includin' mine, six. You saw the seventh, though, right? ZO: We should continue this later. The Archons are... faintly agitated and... depressed? It feels like despair. We'll talk more on the ship.
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Post by levenfish on May 14, 2016 2:15:45 GMT
BB: I'm havin' flashbacks to when Lucas screwed up the 7th Session. He glitched out the game and respawned all the carapacians that never spawned. XP: What happened to them? BB: They all went homicidal and the cleanup was worse. Like this here, but... no, this is worse. ZO: This way. BB: The Archons, is this them? ZO: It's dormant. Observe them. XP: I'd rather not, to be honest. ZO: They're purely instinctive. Also, it makes no sense as to why these corridors are clear. They've cracked through here and there, why haven't they crushed through here? BB: Z, if we get crushed down here... ZO: I suspect this growth was uncontrolled. That's a vein there. Observe how it snakes through those spikes. And all these mouths and eyes everywhere. There's nothing they can do that other sensory organs couldn't do better. BB: Last time, Sparks was home to giant robots like rip-offs from Evangelion. You think this is a prototype? ZO: It'd be inefficient. For a species that hasn't reached the stars, yes. But Sparks is a colony world. They have ships. XP: Please tell me we're there. ZO: Nearly. BB: As an aside, this is actually what Justine would've been at one point. Yeah, she does not have a fun life. And now that her story's not being actively done like this, the misery of that story's slowly bleedin' into ours.BB: How did they capture the Archons last time? ZO: It's classified. Watcher Satevi found out they used enough poison to kill off an entire planet down to the microbial level. XP: It's an Aristan poison. Sarese was involved in the decision. BB: Holy shit. ZO: Oh my. XP: What the fuck. Christina Kaczynski began lashing out at Bernard Bartlett at 11:57AM, 10/21/1738 CK: Who is that?! Who are you!?
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Post by levenfish on May 18, 2016 2:00:03 GMT
BB: And who're you? CK: I asked first, you fuck! BB: Nah. ZO: Anger. Despair. Hopelessness. Not that hard to read. BB: Any suggestions? ZO: Ask her what's wrong. BB: Really? ZO: I don't know. XP: Ask her what happened. CK: Show yourself, damn you! BB: So... who's this? CK: No one deserved any of this. Not the others, not the scientists, not the janitors. BB: They're dead. CK: I fucking hope so! Do I look like I fucking play? They HAD to die! Everyone! BB: And why's that? CK: They tried to make gods. The... archons. They were going to destroy everything. They could. They fucking could. CK: So now I have to be here. I can't destroy them, so I have to guard them until everyone's dead. Not like I have anywhere else to go. BB: You're several hundred feet underground. Just blow up this place and bury them in a hundred million tons of steel and dirt. CK: I don't know how. BB: Have you tried? CK: Who the fuck are you? You never answered my question. I know aliens exist. BB: Do I look like an alien to you? CK: And them? BB: No, they're aliens. They're friends. CK: No really. Who are you? BB: My name's Bernie, and I'm offerin' you an escape. Come join an enigmatic guy, an enthusiastic alien, and a zen squid man as we do random crap for an alien, genderbent Napoleon.
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Post by levenfish on May 20, 2016 5:33:07 GMT
CK: So who're you guys? XP: I'm Kali! I like your sweater. ZO: Z. According to certain people, my real name is too much of a handful, Xescali Pilgrim. XP: If your name can't fit on a name tag without going down to subscripts, it's too long. BB: They're eccentric. That means they're really good at their jobs. CK: And what IS their job? XP: Technically, I'm a bodyguard, and Z is just a psychic squid man. BB: Anyway, this place is giving me the creeps. What's the deal with these other guys? CK: We were supposed to be... robots? Vehicles? Like, they'd use us as puppets. ZO: Avatars? CK: Yeah, that. ZO: For what? CK: These archons? We were supposed to channel them. Put them in us so we could take their power. BB: Definitely power. But are we talkin' to the human or the archon? CK: Human. I hope. I don't remember what happened next. They put us in the tubes, next thing I remember I'm standing here while everyone else... pulled apart. All this meat and bone? It came from those six. ZO: You remember killing the scientists, though. So that was AFTER whatever happened between then and the six propagating this. CK: I didn't kill them. They were all dead when— I don't REMEMBER killing them. Oh god. XP: Are they still kicking? CK: I don't know! They're not dead, but they're not really alive. It's like— Jikros Iantel interrupted Christina Kaczynski at 11:56AM, 10/21/1738 JI: They've been forced into a form of hibernation. JI: This is ridiculous. Six of the Archons are now dead engines and the seventh's been scavenged for parts. ZO: You know what to look for? JI: I've done it before. But this is out of my experience. CK: And who the fuck are you?! Tell me about the archons! What's going on here?! JI: Unless.... I have a proposal. Come with me, and I'll give you the answers you seek. XP: Not happening! BB: Hey. Do you know which Archon you got? CK: It was the only one with a first and last name. JI: To— you have machinery inside you, don't you? The way you hold yourself, it was a tight fit. There's no way otherwise, not him. ZO: Him? Hmm.... Huh. Thank you. I now know everything. If there's nothing else, we'll be heading out.
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Post by levenfish on May 23, 2016 3:34:11 GMT
JI: How about... no. XP: Ow..... BB: Aaaaaaaand now you're gonn' pay. ZO: Bernie. Time to be discriminate. JI: I brought a playmate. Please, not everyone at once.
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Post by levenfish on May 25, 2016 3:53:25 GMT
JI: Yeah, that didn't work when I tried, either. They— JI: How can you expect to stop me when I was never here? ZO: Hard plating! CK: ..... XP: Yeah, my head hurts too. I hate psychic bullshit. XP: Sit down! ZO: Bernie! Any time now!
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Post by levenfish on May 26, 2016 5:06:41 GMT
BB: Nope! No penetration whatsoever! XP: Pfffffffft. ZO: Kali not now! XP: Get it? Cause Bernie can't get it in? BB: I don't remember that ever bein' a subplot with me. XP: Tell ya what, Berns. How about we ask... XP: This son of a grub! XP: Get your filthy hands off my sweet angry child! BB: What is that, like a dog? ZO: I don't like this. BB: Kali, you couldn't have taken his head off? XP: Deliberately didn't. Author wouldn't let us kill him off this early anyway. ZO: That wasn't just comedic; that spider had far more power in that reaction than it displayed the entire fight. Thing was holding back.
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Post by levenfish on May 26, 2016 16:56:12 GMT
Zhaest Origoth'bokrug discussed the ramifications of recent events with Bernard Bartlett at 12:08PM, 10/21/1738 ZO: Do you think he was holding back as well? BB: Shouldn't you have your mask on? ZO: Bernie. I have face tentacles. It's very difficult to pick me out from a crowd. And how are you standing? BB: I don't know. Cause what I was thinkin', Kali should've been protected too. I'll show you when we get back. XP: Easy, kid. CK: Don't touch me. CK: Sorry, head hurts. And I have a thing. XP: I understand. BB: So the spider was holdin' back, Iantel might've been too. Kali, what did we learn about Iantel before the... the thing? Our adventure from the MSPA forums before it shut down that I can't talk about because Tina isn't privy to the 4th wall shenanigans.XP: Dude from the Pegasi Reach. Z, you were with Gallas, did she say anything? ZO: Not that I recall. BB: So whoever Iantel's workin' for, we know they know 'bout the archons. And... I don't get it. I assume that dude's still alive, maybe nabbin' her wasn't so big a goal anymore? ZO: I remember he's an independent contractor. XP: A merc. ZO: Yes, that. It's improbable someone of his caliber would do this while remaining in the dark on the details. BB: No, he said he'd done it before. How long ago were the archons captured? XP: Like, five sweeps ago? ZO: That's... eleven years? BB: Let's just go. We can and should speculate back on the ship like old times' sake. Hey, kid. What's your name? CK: I'm Tina. And I wanna know what you know. XP: Same. We're missing pieces here. XP: Nope. Still sucks. CK: It's like this all the way down. ZO: How far down? CK: I tried to figure it out, but all the computers in this place up and fucking died. I know there were a lot more kids here, but they're probably dead or eaten now. XP: Wait this eats people?! WHAT?! CK: Not this. There's... Listen, can we just keep going?
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Post by levenfish on May 27, 2016 2:52:03 GMT
CK: I haven't been outside in so fucking long. ZO: Kali. I just remembered. Did we ever give Bernie his phone? BB: What. XP: Oh! Oh shit we didn't! Ahahahaha. BB: Now that I think about it. If we got separated, we'd have no way to communicate. In hindsight not givin' me a phone was a colossal mistake. CK: Cell phones wouldn't work down there anyway. A lot of stuff just up and died once the growth started. XP: Yeah, Bernie! Shouldn't jump to conclusions. BB: But maybe you should've let me check my messages? What if Haley or Michael had to change their plans? Or Periet needs something for her situation? Or if Satevi or Raziel or hell, the Quan'as himself needs somethin' from me? XP: Yeah, but you didn't think of it either. So shut up. CK: Why is it purple? ZO: What's wrong with purple? CK: It looks stupid. Why purple? ZO: It belongs to a royal. Therefore it must reflect her blood as such. CK: Purple blood? Come again? BB: Wait a minute. Uh.... Kali? XP: Still mad. But yeah. You or me? BB: Tina? You know what a troll is? CK: Huh. Neat. But why do they look so much like us? Even Z has a human-like facial structure. XP: I'm.... not qualified to answer that. Z? ZO: In my capacity as a member of the eldest race in this rabble, I'm actually going to flip it. I don't have a human or troll-like face. All of YOU have faces similar to MY kind. BB: Like the 2nd session wasn't based on the 3rd universe Zodiac, the Zodiac was based on them? ZO: Exactly. But Tina won't understand that reference. BB: So lemme tell ya about this thing called— XP: NO! NOPE. LATER! Besides, we still gotta make our report to Sarese.
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Post by levenfish on May 27, 2016 17:39:13 GMT
XP: I accept your apology. Come here. BB: Z! ZO: No thank you. XP: Think I can get your lips to match your eyes? CK: Is this normal? ZO: It is now. SQ: Kali, Bernie, if you could get off each other. BB: She started it! XP: Technically, he was on me. Sarese Qentas barely held back the tide of salt when speaking to Xescali Pilgrim at 12:56PM, 10/21/1738 SQ: Just go to the meeting room and figure out an excuse for why archons aren't currently roaming the universe again. SQ: Not you. A word. SQ: And who are you? CK: You're a troll, right? SQ: And you're a human. They brought you here? CK: Yeah. They offered me a spot. SQ: And what do you do? CK: I.... SQ: Speaking of which, if you're human, why is it you speak this tongue with perfect accuracy? CK: I don't... what? SQ: Why would a human colonist in a gloom sector speak not only perfect Alternian, but with the cadence of someone raised as Aristan nobility? CK: Wait I'm not a colonist I was born there. Aariel Yaldabaoth revealed their existence to Sarese Qentas at 12:58PM, 10/21/1738 AY: I don't like being touched. SQ: So the lion-faced reveals himself. AY: Herself, now. I'd thank your minions for releasing me, if they'd arrived before I was torn and scavenged like a starship. SQ: And your kin? AY: They never fully recovered from the Scarlet Chains. I suppose as an Aristan, you're to thank for that. SQ: The self-proclaimed creator of the universe, reduced to the husk of a human girl. Is she still in there? AY: She and I have come to an understanding. SQ: What to do with the former master of reality indeed? AY: Where is Samyaza? SQ: Old news. He's been missing for two sweeps now. AY: Penemue. Bezaliel. Gabriel. SQ: Also all missing. Same time, actually. AY: The pretender. Ulysaun. SQ: Bloodbrine Diet on Alternia-Beforus, as always. AY: Do you plan to kill him? SQ: Plan, no. Desire, who doesn't? AY: Child. CK: Yes? Wait that wasn't mental. AY: Small forms as these are unfamiliar. Aristan. You have the services of this meatbag and what sparks I can muster. Begin planning. SQ: Sparks is down there. CK: Huh. He shut up.
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Post by levenfish on May 29, 2016 3:14:51 GMT
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Last seen 9/24 umbranInheritor (Shyrel Rileth) is offline. Last seen 9/24 cathermeralSkylarker (Falesi Dareon) is offline. Last seen 10/20 descendedDarkling (Daniel Tariq Atreus) is offline. Last seen 10/20 mindstringlustre (Michael Etrigan) is offline. jadedzirconium (Stephen Jackson-Merrick) is offline. Last seen [error, last meeting in locale where time has no dominion] Freestrideecho (Cassandra Marie Anderson is offline. Last seen 9/25 AmbrosianGuile (Jennifer Clementine Brown) is offline. Last seen 10/20 UnboundScion (Emeline Serafinovna Finnian) is offline. Last seen 9/24 HarlequinsCritic(Periet Felona) is online. Inbox (4 New Messages)Naaaaaaaah.Nothing's changed. We still go on with the plan, but our flashbacks last time didn't have you, it had the other you from the rewrite. So you should probably take those events off your mind and let them deal with any confusion. They're playing Sburb, they should know better. Also, I get an inkling you'll need me sometime in the future? Just make sure it's really important. Like, you actually need a Lord of Time important. Haley Dark portents in the futureI don't like what's going on. If the events of Winding Ivory are no longer canon, that no longer guarantees that you and I will have succeeded six thousand years later. Though by that point it's falling apart, so who knows? Maybe it's for the best, but we can't count on being saved by canon anymore. Michael HeyyySo I noticed we got a reboot. Neat. But half of us are gone now :( We should get together sometime. Lucas can't admit it, but he misses you. And I'd love to meet some of Kali's friends :) I gotta make sure y'all are treating her right >:D Scarlett Just got a hot tipYeah, I heard about it too. But I might be coming backkkkkkk. There's still a whole bunch of stuff for Winding Ivory that got developed while the MSPA forums were down that never got put out. Alternate universe shenanigans, maybe? Also, would it kill you to text back once in a while? I feel like I'm talking to a wall, and I don't mean Orion. I mean a literal Greek wall with a big nose and bigger axe head. Someone's compensating~ Periet XP: You're kidding me. BB: What is it? XP: Scarlett. BB: Yeah, I got one too. ZO: She shouldn't even know I exist and I got one. BB: Should we be worried? XP: She's... so I never had to use a kind abstratus during my session. I'm chalking up my inexplicable combat prowess to 4th session shenanigans. ZO: The three of you are capable of excelling at just about anything, regardless of its difficulty or prior experience required. XP: I don't wanna talk about it. Whole mess of issues even without mentioning this sash I can't make myself go without. BB: So that's a no. None of us respond to her, all of us forget her. XP: No! Uh... Fuck. Bernie. Respond to her. One of us has to, and you're the protagonist, so uh, have fun! BB: No! Make Z do it! She'll appreciate his noble alien charm. ZO: Who're you calling alien? YOU'RE all aliens to me. BB: Uh... noble minority? Crap no, that's uncomfortable. ZO: I'm a squid, not some shade of skin. Besides, that's not my role in the gestalt. XP: We have a gestalt? What's a gestalt. ZO: I am the thinker. Kali is the soul. And Bernie is the body that struggles and strives and deals with annoying friends from childhood like Scarlett so the mind and soul don't have to. BB: So our group chooses to let our bodies do the talking. ZO: Let me adjust the gestalt. I'm Squidward, and you two can interchange between the starfish and the sponge. XP: Grumpy? ZO: No. I'm not irritated and dying inside. I'm growing as a person to find it in myself to love everyone. XP: Awww. ZO: Despite their faults, which are legion. BB: Yo, so about the Archons. What do we tell Sarese? XP: Tell her the truth. Someone got there before we did, did whatever made that place freaky teethville, and left them vegetables except for the stray puffball. ZO: As can be confirmed by what someone who got there just after us said. BB: Last time we did this, Sarese unleashed the archons, they ate all of Sparks, and the Sparks Memorial Service came after us. ZO: Then we suggest we don't devour all biological matter on the planet. She's approaching.
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Post by levenfish on May 31, 2016 3:43:04 GMT
SQ: Alright. Begin. ZO: Someone got there before we did. The facility was ruined, and deeper down an outgrowth of inactive flesh covered everything. ZO: We came to a massive chamber underneath. We found the person we brought you, along with six cocoons with what I assume were humans fused into them. ZO: She claims no memory of what occurred. Then a troll came along. Brontikinetic, had some sort of spider creature that was immune to everything we threw at it. ZO: Said spider was also holding back. I don't doubt we'd be dead if that was their intention. The troll also claims to have been there during the Archons' capture. SQ: Anything to go on? ZO: Typical set 15 horns, Pegasi Reach markings from cheek to eye that manifest with the latter, so at least 3rd circle. SQ: And the archons themselves? ZO: The six are functionally dead, the seventh is diminished. I suspect the girl we brought onboard carries those fragments, if she isn't the archon itself. SQ: Then that's that. I have a new task for us. And I mean us. I'll be heading with you on this one. XP: Yay! BB: Tina. SQ: Yaldabaoth. AY: There are spots throughout this sphere where physical law is fundamentally altered. ZO: What. XP: What the shit? BB: Uh— um. AY: Your master desires information. AY: You seek your birthright, Imperatrix-to-be? You will pay the price, and you will pay it gladly. But you wish to take them with you? BB: What could possibly go wrong? AY: I could tell you, but where's the fun in that? AY: Now. Whatever rumors you mortals have come up with the underground ruins of Chrysaor, they're probably true. It used to be one of our thrones, and remains home to Hecate. SQ: The Pegasi Reach? Is Hecate to them what Hamal is to us? AY: I do not know, and until now, I have not cared. BB: The ruins? ZO: On the Reach capital world of Chrysaor, the Ruins of Bellerophon is home to one of the largest psychic phenomena recorded, even to the Angels. A massive rainbow-colored fog that induces or enhances psychic development, though with major side effects. XP: Good odds your head blows up and you become a ghost that goes around killing other people so they become ghosts too. ZO: They claim three women stalk the ruins, and those who meet them are equally blessed and cursed. AY: Superstition. Hecate is no more capable of altering one's fate than any of you. But she can see into the past and future, which is what your master desires. XP: Alright. So, what? We can just go down there, bust up the ghosts, find the triple threats, and let Sarese do her thing? SQ: In theory. But the capitol is the heart of the Reach, and we need to be discreet, so only Kali will be able to accompany me. BB: Got any paint? I've dressed up as a troll before. XP: You mean cosplayed. BB: It was ONE time. 6/12 was a national holiday! SQ: Let's not take the risk. I won't risk Zhaest losing his head, and I don't need a bodyguard. As far as the Reach is concerned, I'm just another silly royal looking for novel experiences.
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Post by levenfish on Jun 4, 2016 0:13:49 GMT
SQ: You're dismissed. Get something to eat, keep your kind abstrata calibrated, await further instructions. BB: Oh. Uh. Okay. ZO: As you say. BB: So. We didn't even discuss what's gonna happen to Sparks. XP: I get the feeling she and Yaldabaoth have plans in mind. BB: They're not gonn' somehow eat the planet that fast, are they? ZO: I suppose we'll have to find out. Xescali Pilgrim got some intel from Arvahs Lamast at 1:34PM, 10/21/1738 XP: Sup dude? AL: How was your side of things? XP: Pretty easy. You? AL: Easy, as...? XP: We got zapped by some lightning, but that's about it. How was the rest of the planet? AL: So typically, we bomb their strongholds and touch down in the civilian areas, make them waste time coming after us. AL: Civilian areas? Deserted. XP: Deserted how? I didn't see much of the planet. AL: It's all prefab. All the houses look alike, there's no cars, no emergency sirens. Human colonies tend to be unplanned, mismatched quilts. If they didn't all bleed mutant red, I'd swear we were attacking a troll world. AL: So who's this? XP: This is Bernie, our latest addition to the posse. BB: Hello. AL: Arvahs Lamast. Nice to meet you. XP: So there's no civilians? AL: Did you see any? ZO: The scientific staff are dubiously civilian. Or were, they're all dead. It'll be in the report. Other than them, there were test subjects implied to be down in the facility, but they are both out of our reach and unconfirmed on affiliation. AL: So none. What about the girl you brought onboard? ZO: Ask Sarese, it won't get to the report. Get me? AL: I gotcha. ZO: Do you think she'll order the planet purged? BB: Not much to purge, it looks like. XP: Yeah. Looks like Sparks was always meant to be destroyed. BB: What happens with Tina now? XP: Maybe she stays on as an adviser? ZO: Bernie, how did you resist the lightning back there? XP: Yeah, how DID you... BB: Probably an Ouroboros thing. I remember back when we had an ability list, I had Barachiel listed. Angel of lightning. ZO: Seven coffins, seven archangels. BB: Sometimes eight archangels. ZO: If anything, the twin motifs you get saddled with means you'd have two. BB: Or Evelyn has the other. But what does that make Haley? She's not an Ouroboros subject, yet she's still a Lord of Time. XP: Wait, she? BB: I don't remember if she's transgender or a hermaphrodite. That Namco thing's shown exceptions are made, male-only heir on a gender-neutral dude. ZO: Could always be an error in the writing. BB: See, you say stuff like that, but anythin' we say could come back to bite us. Are you serious?ionianImperator [iI] began trolling EighthStar [ES]
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Post by levenfish on Jun 11, 2016 1:12:04 GMT
iI: Scarlett?eS: Bernie?iI: Yep. Nice to meet you.eS: And nice to finally talk to you. I've heard so much about you.iI: Huh. Wait, who was talking about me?eS: Lucas told me about you. He thinks you're a diamond in the rough. Hard and unpolished, but you could be FABULOUS. iI: Yeah say hi to him for me. So what's going on here? We're all out of the Ouroboros, what's going on? eS: So turns out. Raziel? He's untouchable. He's this mad scientist that runs around, making what he wants, when he wants, and Ulysaun makes everyone else deal with him. iI: We're just unsupervised experimental teenagers? I didn't realize we were bad teen fiction.eS: Nah. We're classy teen fiction. The best teen fiction. But we weren't released just for funsies. You and Kali and Zee are all with an Aristan, right? iI: Raz has a reason for it?eS: Aww you call him Raz. Cuteeee. eS: His reason is that he knows the Imperatrix is headed places. Fate is really complicated.iI: Fate exists?eS: You don't think so?iI: We're Sburb players. None of us are Light players, but we all know causal manipulation exists. eS: You were fated to say that, you knowwww.iI: Don't even. Scorpio here. I got the spiderbitch as my patron. eS: Taurussssss. iI: I'm going to pretend you never said that. So yeah, I have all the luck, fate can kiss my bitch ass, and I used to be fat as a kid.eS: Chubby Bernie. Hah. iI: Where does Raz think the Imperatrix is going?eS: He knows she's going to shake things up. And people like Raziel? They like when things get shaken up. But not the fun, I like change kinda thing. It's more the, you're all flailing and I'm just sitting here without pants kinda thing.iI: Because Ulysaun can protect him. eS: They both like it. Like shaking up a snow globe. Watch the flakes flit about. And you, my dear spider, are about to make it rumble. But you really don't believe in fate?iI: Depends on how you define it.And follows so much pseudo-philosophical garbage even the author couldn't be bothered to do it.That, and I might've been on the line with her for... uh, three hours.
I wonder what the others are up to.HD: I can't be here too long, so lemme give ya the abridged version. EM: Yeah I can't find any consorts either. I don't think my Land ever spawned them. Ehh... nah.
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Post by levenfish on Jun 15, 2016 3:05:46 GMT
Xescali Pilgrim frantically woke up Bernard Bartlett at x?/!$/%!~$!@#~!~ XP: Bernie! BERNIE! BB: Wh— what's... oh shit the dates! XP: Yeah! Come on! You need to see this! BB: What's goin' on? Are we at Chrysaor yet? XP: Chrysaor's gone. It's been bombed over, and it's quiet. BB: What?! Bombed... quiet how? XP: Nothing. There's not a single transmission going on, radio or shortwave or longwave or UV or however comms work. SQ: This isn't possible. It can't all be gone. There's no one that could be this thorough. AY: There are. But six are gone, and the first is here. BB: Everyone dead? Every single last person? ZO: It could be an EMP. But there's no sign of life on the surface. SQ: There's ships coming in and out every hour. There's no way, unless... ZO: The Empyrean node here was cut off. Which implies either a dual-dimensional accident, or the perpetrator has the same kind of ship as this.
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Post by levenfish on Jun 24, 2016 5:34:21 GMT
Aq#! FD! e!@ ! e~ ~~~~#~$$@p|=\]+ BB: Anyone see anythin'? ,[: !$!D! d1D 1D!@)(j 9U)jo0) 0b\\];pm BB: What the hell? !@: J5 568 R sxgi{8[ *{8p 6I%^J5 No no no no no no no no.Not again. I'm not goin' back. I can't be back. If I slit my throat, will I wake up back on 3/19? I could go hang out with Jason for the day.BB: Raz, if you can hear me, I'm done with this! Experiments don't work when the test subject knows 'bout it! Aariel Yalda@$#@zynski !{}:"{o'{P {}:12!$!{:}' AY: Scion of my bane, do you hear me? BB: So it IS Gnostic. AY: Accursed spawn of misbegotten spawn. AY: Has your mind unraveled so easily? BB: Stick around. It's like a ball of yarn. AY: Listen to me, child. This vessel emerged from the Empyrean directly into one of Hecate's illusions. Everyone is too weak to resist but I. BB: I could, but y'know, I never wanted to come back in the first place, I wouldn't mind just fadin' off into wherever characters like me go. AY: Why did I rescue this idiot... in this fleshy prison, I am at the mercies of the mortal coil. Therefore, I must deign to play your games and get this ship out of her field. BB: Where am I? AY: On this one's shoulder. She is eager to witness that which she does not understand. BB: Well, the cave flooded, so she can't play with shadows on the wall anymore. Good she likes the light. AY: Are you even capable of speaking plainly or do you enjoy tormenting your betters? BB: So what should I expect from Hecate? AY: She can see your past and future. She prefers what was to what may be. I assume you have some traumatic happenings in your life? All your kind do. BB: I could spend two years and 216 days goin' over it. AY: Make your peace or cast them off. I don't care which, just do it fast. BB: Why though? There a need for her to test me? She should be testin' Sarese. AY: She is. Her, your companions, and everyone else on this vessel. Why would she care? Your eyes are not voluntary. You do not focus to see. Why should she? BB: Are all of you this high and mighty? AY: I am. BB: Wond— AY: Most of you will die. As your ally said, most will fall and she will claim their souls. AY: I understand this vessel is moved by making an angel into a puppet. Now if only I could find this puppet. AY: This flesh is unnatural. Yours and hers. She was made a vessel for my majesty. And you for the bane and the lightning artist. AY: Child? This is where you continue making your pitiful attempts to spar with me. CK: Bernie? Hey, something wrong? AY: He didn't resolve himself, did he. CK: Maybe this IS the resolution. AY: A strong house is not built on a broken foundation. It vexes me to wonder how you could find it endearing. A psychotic commonality?
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Post by levenfish on Jun 25, 2016 3:11:33 GMT
BB: What. Oh wow. You're really goin' hard on this. You've brought out the old shit. Emphasis on both. BB: Alright. This is.... this is actually when I met Jasper and Kali. Also Stephen and Rose. Jasper's gone, Rose is canon, and fuck Stephen. We were playin' poker. BB: I don't remember winnin'. Then again I never do. AY: Scion. You've attracted her attention. BB: Yeah, thanks. Couldn't figure that out on my own. BB: So we somehow were in the Veil and I was back on Skaia simultaneously. Lucas confronted Rose Lalonde over how the canon cast handled raisin' the kids for the 4th session. BB: Then Red Miles and boom, things went fleshy and gory real fast. BB: Hey Yahman talk to me I'm monologuing 'gain. AY: Tell me more of this Red Miles. What is its relation to the Scarlet Chains? BB: I think the Chains is a bio-weapon, whereas the Miles is.... I don't know how to categorize it. It's not exactly psychic or magical. AY: But it is not a created thing. Lucas is the only one to possess this? BB: There've been others. But he's the only one here now that does, yeah. Raw destructive power, that's the edgelord in a nutshell. CK: Did he like writing poetry? Talk about his woes and dark feelings and the shadow in his soul? BB: Eh... I wish. I think he killed John Egbert at the end. Uh, you don't know him.
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Post by levenfish on Jul 2, 2016 4:15:19 GMT
??: Ten year old Bernie. Two parents and two best friends. ??: Then, suddenly? ??: No parents! Sburb player parents in their natural state! BB: Nice recap, Hecate. HC: So you go to boarding school. Off to LoPaP you go, you little overachiever! What was it, you finished a five-year course in three? BB: Top of my class. HC: Why go so fast? You weren't going anywhere. BB: Typical lifespan there was forty years. I thought you were supposed to be this time seer. HC: You say that like you cared! You didn't have a home to return to, you suspected Jason was doing something, no matter how much you deny it. BB: Yes you're right I'm denyin' it! I was supposed to expect one of my best friends— hell, he was basically my second dad— to go and suicide bomb a tournament? HC: And Lena went back to her life. She didn't lose her parents. She's not some little kid. She's a blooming teenager with a life and career to prepare. In her case, being the perfect paragon of diplomacy. BB: I... I wanted to see her again. HC: But you waited a year. Why didn't you go back the second you had your degree? Why'd you go to LoUaD? Then to LoLaG. Then you finally come back to Skaia after a year of wandering. BB: Yaldabaoth did NOT properly explain to me how annoyin' you are. HC: Oh. Am I hitting a nerve? You still have them? BB: Lemme stop you there. So what? It's all fake. All of it was the story the Ouroboros project fed to me. Tragedy builds character. HC: So Lena. Jason. Cirona. Nothing? BB: Never existed. HC: See, that's where you're wrong. Lena Travencal. The diplomat. Always knew what to say, just like a mother. She never treated you wrong or made you feel bad, did she? BB: Because she's a construct that made me happy, which then got cut off to make me toughen up. HC: Not a construct, child. Callista Gillian. The one you've sought. She got glitched in the Ouroboros, just like you did. BB: Yes, but if you're goin' to say she never loved me, you're right. This recap sucks. HC: She needed a way to free herself from the Ouroboros, and you were a little, lost orphan who was conveniently talented enough to do great feats. Sburb's never seen that before. BB: Hecate. Finish your business with the Imperatrix. HC: I'm trying, but she's so boring. You're a different shade of boring. BB: You've seen it all. HC: I can see you're trying to get all friendly with me suddenly. Just like Lena, you say exactly what you think they wanna hear. BB: I don't know whether to be melancholic or frustrated. I think I'll go with the second!
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Post by levenfish on Jul 6, 2016 4:04:22 GMT
Emeline Selene Finnian @#\}@"{: 2}{@ {}@"!# :!](^ ESF: You could buy me dinner first. BB: Stephen didn't. ESF: Ouch. But he had meat on him. Mmm. BB: Hecate. I have a long memory. I'll remember this. ESF: Who? Is she a Denizen? C'mon Bernie, how've you been? How're the others? BB: Everyone you know is not only dead, they were never real to begin with. ESF: It was real to me. BB: Still dead. Now you exist as a phantom in an ancient being's memory torture palace. ESF: Could be worse. I could be you. BB: Oh what the f—
Christina Kaczynski went over the severity of the situation with Aariel Yaldabaoth at 2:10AM, 10/22/1738 CK: Would the angel be near the engine reactors or the navigation area? AY: Reactors. Angelic souls are hands, not minds. CK: What's everyone else going through? AY: Hecate will pick through their minds. This garden will be picked of weeds and weak. CK: Ayyyyy. AY: Humanity has survived by luck. This is apparent. AY: Outsider. ZO: Lion-faced one. AY: You will not win. She sees fit to cure you of the mortal affliction of arrogance. ZO: There is no future where I did not fight. AY: Then you are fated to learn your place. AY: Scarred one. XP: Lucas. I've been looking for you. I figured it out. CK: Uh, Arie? AY: The idea of a knight of doom could only have been thought of by angelkind. XP: The Black King crushed half of us. I woke up in my dreamself on Derse. Then you knock at the door and ask to talk to me. I gave you a chance because Scarlett asked me to. AY: Know this, Tina. Angelkind believes it can manipulate fate as swords and shields. XP: She kept saying you were just misunderstood. You were just the romantic bad boy. That, Lucas, under your asshole exterior and misanthropic interior, there was a spark of a good person. AY: Doom, like I, is. XP: You blindsided me and threw me out the window! XP: I don't have a spine anymore, Lucas. I had to climb fifty feet on a flagpole, while still impaled ON the pole, while it ground my insides into juicy pulp. XP: Then I lost my grip halfway up and fell down. This is smooth, y'know. Sanded over and cauterized. AY: Resilient. Ours could repeat her feat. XP: Sliced the pole to size and pulled it out of the ground. CK: Wait, seriously?! AY: Of course. We are resilient because I am. XP: Yeah. I didn't. I realized you never crossed through, you cowardly little shit. CK: So what's with her? XP: You ran. You killed Scarlett and ran. AY: Hecate has dominion. The knight believes me to be another. XP: No. You're wrong. You and her. People can't change. They can change their act, they can't change the performers. AY: Prepare. CK: Prepare?! For?! XP: No, no. You're right. It's just me. I can't change. You can. That's why you're going to die. AY: Murderous rage. Truly, a novelty Hecate has not used since before time and space.
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