Post by spacedwarfindustries on May 23, 2016 17:56:38 GMT
Foursquares: The Shittiest Name Possible For This Adventure, Really What was I thinking
A wind howls across a desolate desert mesa, many miles from the slightest glimpse of civilisation.
A young man stands in a blast-sealed chamber in an off-the-grid secret reinforced concrete bunker. Though it was three years ago that he retreated from the world, it is only today he will remember his name.
Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on May 24, 2016 3:37:13 GMT
What you need to be asking yourself, as we find ourselves tumbling through this hostile vortex locked in the vicegrip of each other's sinewed brawn, is this: how deep does the rabbit's glasshole go? Does it have a bottom? So if you really want to do this thing -- if you really want to DANCE -- then I suggest you take off your shirt, put on a proper pair of fucking suspenders, and put those bologna loaves you call arms to use. Right now I'm a human goddamned beef windmill, god help us all.
Post by spacedwarfindustries on May 24, 2016 19:09:21 GMT
While you occasionally refer to your group of friends as this, you do so only in private because it annoys the heck out of them!
That should do it. (You get so much shit over your name sounding like 'Horse' from your friends it's absurd)
Your name is Hoss. As previously mentioned, you descended into a reinforced concrete bunker three years ago, flushed with the glow of an absurd lottery win and hounded by the alien / governmental conspiracies you have spent your life rooting out and exposing to the Internet. You have a passion for MOVIES THAT HAVE NOT COME OUT YET, proving to people on conspiratorials.com that various world organisations are collaborating with the secret aliens, and collating PROPAGANDA from your ACTUAL ALIEN CONTACT. You know he is an alien because people don't lie on the Internet and nobody could be that misguided! Also he sends you 100% legitimate posters of games that do not yet exist, like SBURB II. The first isn't even out until later today, so this proves he is an alien from the future.
>First, get uTorrent, second, find a Sburb II torrent and download it.
You don't need to get a torrent!
You already installed the game to your VAULTOP wall-based computing solution a few days back. Your friend gT had you mailed a pre-complied copy in advance, because your internet connection is very slow here. (Your personal theory is ALIEN INTERFERENCE, and not BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LITERAL GOBI DESERT)
The temptation to pre-play it in advance is strong, but your best friend aT strongly warned you against doing so, not least because SBURB2 hasn't been released yet (Neither has SBURB, but gT is totally a time travelling ALIEN. You're onto him.), and your FRIEND GROUP are going to play it together at the "official release" later today. Suckers.
Damn, looks like the exterior feed lost signal again. You're convinced you have the only cable-eating moths in the world, sometimes.
>Your friend can wait, check the exterior cable for those dang moths.
Evil Hellmoths, your days are numbered!
As soon as you can find them, that is.
You waste at least two hours looking for goddamn moths. Then you go answer your friend. He'll understand the wait.
-- avertedTeratoid began pestering telesticTruth at 11:15:12 AM -- AT: Hello there Hoss AT: Are you Well? AT: ... AT: Are you searching for Moths again? at: Hello? --telesticTruth is an idle chum!-- AT: I see. I will remain here Until you are less preoccupied AT: Best friend --telesticTruth is no longer an idle chum as of 1:74:32 PM TT: Bugger, are you gone? AT: I was considering it but no, not yet AT: I have mostly been in another Tab, like normal TT: Good to know! What's up, pal? AT: I am here to inform you that GT and GG have recieved their physical copies of the Game AT: And while my personal Misgivings are still Many (The normal amount) AT: They should be ready any minute now TT: That's great to hear, man? TT: That's not all, is it? AT: Well TT: Is it aliens? Are we being invaded openly yet?!! AT: Sometimes I wonder about you. Just a Little. AT: No, its not Aliens. It is just. AT: I can't mediate between you and GT forever. You and Him are going to have to AT: Talk directly over the course of this game, you know AT: This is not normal Behaviour, and from what little I know of this game AT: Normal games are What you will want AT: ... AT: Hello? TT: Oh, sorry! Caught up in my own thoughts, hah TT: I guess we'll have to work things out, hah TT: (Even if he is absolutely an alien saboteur!!) AT: Hoss we've talked. This belief is not normal AT: The "Clear Proof of alien activity" And or "Time Relics" AT: That he sends you are very blatant Fabrications TT: :¬| AT: Oh sorry. I forgot about our Truce on the issue of normality and the Alien conspiracy TT: :¬) AT: Anyway AT: If you are still set on playing This game, I advise you to set Yourself up with GT AT: Farewell TT: Bye!!
Bluh. Tad is such a meddler. Oh well, you can't not communicate directly with your other friend(ish?) if you're going to play a game together. It would be a logistical nightmare.
Ugh. You're not sure if you want to be connected directly to him, though. An extra degree of separation might help keep things below a simmer between you. Maybe you could recruit TG into being your control player instead of GT. (is that even the right terminology?)
You guess she's not so bad. Even if you barely know her, even by the standards of internet acquaintances. Your mind is made up, however, by the fact that she's just come online.
-- telesticTruth began pestering travellingGalactic at 1:32 PM -- TT: Hey, girl, how's it going? TG: greetings. things are well. TG: and also, sandy. TT: Hey, don't even talk about sand! You'd think a nuclear bunker would be able to keep the sand out, but it just gets everywhere! TG: i doubt you have more than i, but TG: i also doubt sand is what you wanted to talk about. TT: Yeah! TT: So, I was wondering if you, uh, wanted to play the game TT: You know, the group one out today, SBURB? TG: yes. TT: Er. TT: Can you elaborate? TG: yes, i will play the game with you. TT: I'll be honest, I expected to have to wrangle with you about this! TT: What's behind the acquiescence? TG: i recently received the game disc, courtesy of our mutual friend. TG: as soon as I am in a position to play, we shall begin. TT: When will that be? TG: i estimate just a few h -- travellingGalactic ceased being pestered by telesticTruth -- TT: Hello? TT: Bugger.
Uh oh. That one was definitely on her end. You wonder what could have shut her computer down like that.
Post by spacedwarfindustries on Jun 5, 2016 20:52:59 GMT
Put some new batteries in this thing
That is a thing you would do!
...if you weren't climbing down sand dunes somewhere in a desert.
You'll have to hurry to meet your rendezvous before time runs out, anyway. But you can't put speed at too much of a premium! You've got to be care-
-ful not to lose your balance.
Sand. You've got sand in places you thought sand would never go. Your telescope is probbably ruined. Not that you've had many good viewing nights lately on your travels. But you're almost to your journey's end.
Post by spacedwarfindustries on Jun 9, 2016 20:15:29 GMT
That would be a terrible name. You hate sand - and you're not a man.
Let's try that again.
You have been known by both of these in your time. Your online friends may know you as Mauser, but as to the rest of the world - or what's left of it -
There. Now, suitably named...
Your name is the Lonely Wanderer, and three years ago the world ended.
Your hobbies consist of WALKING IN THE DESERT, though you hate it, and VIEWING THE STARS through your portable telescope. Space enthralls you, especially since you know mankind will never reach it now. A friend has recently sent you a piece of MYSTERIOUS TECHNOLOGY he insists you refer to as a 'game' to your other friends.
Although your PORTABLE COMMS DEVICE has ceased to function, you connect to a mysterious COMMUNICATIONS FREQUENCY along with your friends as "travellingGalactic", and you are careful with your words so as not to offend the only other people with access to advanced technology you have ever met.
You're half an hour's walk from camp. Is there anything you want to do before we go and try being someone else?