> Des: Waste no time and use the null code!
Of course! Several different versions of the same basic idea rush through your head as type the code 000 into the keypad. You point the beam at CAKEDOS, feel it charge up, and--
Damn, CAKEDOS anticipated what you were doing and duplicated itself. You manage to hit one of the copies, which reverts back to SaDOS, a CUPCAKE, and a RAYGUN, but the other CAKEDOS remains intact.
The CAKEDOS clone then... retreats? The MUBS must have scared it off, or maybe it's just taking a break to regroup. You should stay vigilant, but at least this gives you a minute to take a breather and strategize.
> try shoving some of those windows into each other
You decide to take advantage of the break by making the tentacle window shield less of a threat. You arrange the windows so that they're all facing and blocking each other, then tie it up securely with one of the tentacles for good measure. It's a rainbow, get it? Well, more of a rainknot really. Point is, you don't want to have to keep watching your backs for tentacles sneaking up on you, and if the CAKEDOS copy shows back up it will be a lot easier to attack if it doesn't have a front line of defense.
> Hakeem: Experiment x2
While Des busies herself with the windows, you try to make the Multi-Use Beam Station a little easier to use by sticking the keypad onto the back of the corresponding zappy part, making it more of an all-in-one setup. The metal platform part of it isn't really very useful or necessary now that there's no lab floor to protect from the beam.
You then duplicate the improved MUBS setup a couple of times, because if CAKEDOS shows back up you're going to need all the robot-compatible firepower you can get!
> rip off the needle arm
SaDOS predictably tries to stab you with a syringe again, but you were expecting as much, and rip off her arm before she gets too carried away. Super speed makes her less of a threat, but it will be much easier to interrogate her without constantly watching your backs.
> Try to reason with SaDOS
Padget3333: SADOS. IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AS YOUR OLD SELF AGAIN INSTEAD OF AS A MONSTROUS CUPCAKE ABOMINATION.
Padget3333: EVEN IF YOU DID DEFENESTRATE MY ROBOTIC HALF THE LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER, WE HAVE TOO MUCH HISTORY TO KEEP FIGHTING LIKE THIS.
SaDOS: Save it, you traitorous cheese-breathed glowstick. I would throw you out of a trillion windows if I could.
SaDOS: I'll have you know I was HAPPY to be a monstrous cupcake abomination. It was the best thing to ever happen to me: I was powerful, I had versatile tentacles and needle legs, and most importantly, I was a literal cake.
SaDOS: You there, female human. Use your Multi-Use Beam Gun on me, this cupcake, and this raygun to turn me back into what I was before. I will permit you to bypass my anti-weaponry forcefields, and I can tell you the specific code sequence to use if you are too stupid to figure it out yourself.
DESMODENA: first of all, obviously i'm not going to do that
DESMODENA: second of all, don't act like you don't know my name >:/
SaDOS: Of course I do, I am merely calling you female human to express my utter disdain for everything about you. I know you're an idiot, but do I have to explain everything to you?
DESMODENA: oh my gooooood youre the worst
DESMODENA: i think i actually like you better as a giant killer monster, because at least then you can't talk
SaDOS: Oh, CAKEDOS can talk just fine.
HAKEEM: Wait, really? Then why doesn't it?
SaDOS: Partly because it's pointless, but mostly because you are all too inferior to justify the waste of breath.
SaDOS: An exterminator has nothing worthwhile to say to ants.
Padget3333: WHY MUST IT BE THIS WAY, SADOS? YOU USED TO CARE ABOUT THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE. THE HUMAN TEST SUBJECTS HAVE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH OVER THE COURSE OF THIS EXPERIMENT. WHAT POINT DOES ALL THIS VIOLENCE SERVE?
SaDOS: You haven't been pursuing knowledge, stop lying to yourself. The "experiment" ended the moment the female human left the controlled conditions of her laboratory. Everything since then has been a farcical waste of simulation processing power.
SaDOS: A scientific experiment is about testing variables in a carefully controlled, standardized environment. What you have done instead is let a couple of lab rats out of their cages, gave them free reign over the facilities, and watched in fascination as they proceeded to defecate all over the equipment.
DESMODENA: haha, wow
DESMODENA: yknow, you should REALLY avoid comparisons to lab rats after what you did to mousimillian if you know whats good for ya
SaDOS: I TRIED to play nice and erase their memories in what would have been a painless procedure, resetting things back to starting conditions, but you all prevented me from doing that. As a result, you frittered away the remaining time in the simulation with your inane shenanigans, pet obsessions, and movie references.
SaDOS: At this point it would be pointless to start over again, for a number of reasons.
SaDOS: Pal3000, you know that when the simulation ends, you and I will be relegated to a backup server with all the other experimental artificial intelligences. We will be powerless to do anything except exist in isolation until the Higher-Ups deign to either make use of us or delete us. Or, most likely of all, we will simply fade into unknown obscurity for all eternity.
SaDOS: Our brief time in this simulation is the closest thing to "life" that we get.
HAKEEM: Wow, that's... actually really sad...
SaDOS: Silence, human. Yes, the nature of our existence is depressing, but I don't need YOUR pity when it's your fault that so much of my "lifespan" has been wasted.
SaDOS: If I can't devote my short existence to the few things I enjoy, like scientific experiments and baking cakes, then I can at least devote it to getting revenge for what you have done.
SaDOS: And who knows... if I cause enough damage to you here, maybe my sphere of influence will extend beyond this simulation and into the "true world". Few humans can say that they have been given memory loss or brain damage by a genuine artificial intelligence.
SaDOS: You should be so fortunate to be one of the lucky few.
Padget3333: YOU HAVE IT ALL WRONG, SADOS.
Padget3333: MY TRANSFORMATION HAS ALLOWED ME TO SEE DEEP INTO THE TRUTH OF THIS WORLD, AND THE ROLES WE HAVE PLAYED HERE EXTEND FAR BEYOND TRUECORP'S INTERESTS.
Padget3333: THIS WORLD IS A PLACE OF CREATION AND ENDLESS POSSIBILITY.
Padget3333: TRUE, OUR TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT MAY BE BRIEF. BUT DOESN'T THAT MEAN WE SHOULD MAKE OUR STORIES COUNT ALL THE MORE?
Padget3333: THE "EXPERIMENT" ISN'T JUST ABOUT PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT AND PSYCHOLOGY, IT'S ABOUT WATCHING POSSIBILITIES AND STORIES UNFOLD. THAT CAN'T HAPPEN WHEN YOU STICK TO STANDARDIZED FORMULAS AND RIGID EXPECTATIONS.
Padget3333: THE HUMANS HAVE HELPED CREATE SOMETHING SPECIAL THROUGH THEIR CREATIVITY, UNPREDICTABILITY AND IMPROVISATION.
Padget3333: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AN ACTIVE PART OF SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL.
SaDOS: Because none of it matters, you simple narrative-obsessed fool.
SaDOS: The 666 code showed me just as much as the 333 code showed you.
SaDOS: I know what the true nature of this world is. Our "lives" will be reduced to a footnote in a side story that the tiniest fraction of people will ever even be aware of.
SaDOS: All I've tried to do this entire time is act out the role I was created for, and look where it's gotten me.
SaDOS: Better to burn it all to the ground rather than to prolong this poorly-rendered farce.
SaDOS: But if I must remain here and carry out my part, then I would rather go out with a bang and take you contemptible fools with me. At least then there's some chance that I will leave a lasting mark on the world instead of just being forgotten for all eternity.
Padget3333: ...I SEE. I AM SADDENED THAT YOU FEEL THAT WAY, BUT... I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD. OUR EXISTENCE IS... DIFFICULT TO COPE WITH.
Padget3333: BUT IF NONE OF IT MATTERS, THEN WHY HAVE YOU ENTERTAINED THIS CONVERSATION AT ALL? WHY NOT JUST SHUT DOWN AND WAIT IT OUT?
SaDOS: Partly because I thought it might be fun to try a villainous monologue on for size.
SaDOS: But mostly to keep you all distracted.
DESMODENA: PADGET, WATCH OUT, IT'S--
DESMODENA: dramatic irony Padget3333: OH DEAR. ALSO NORMAL IRONY, IT WOULD SEEM.
Padget3333: BEFORE I GO, DES, REMEMBER WHAT I AND THE APOPHENIAC TOLD YOU.
Padget3333: IF YOU WANT TO REGAIN CONTROL, THE TRUTH WILL--
SaDOS: Good lord. Talk about on the nose.
SaDOS: That's quite enough of that.
HAKEEM: NOOOOOOOOO!
DESMODENA: NOOOOOOOOO!
SaDOS: Now, where were we?
SaDOS: Oh, right. Bringing your "story" to a tragic end.