axolotlSushi
Scampermaster
Hi, my name is That Bastard
Posts: 215
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by axolotlSushi on Dec 17, 2016 0:22:10 GMT
Error 404: fetch not fetched
Butler! Proofread my uUcest fanfiction!
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venchi
Rungjumpin' Ragamuffin
Posts: 283
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by venchi on Dec 17, 2016 7:17:54 GMT
Sorry sir, I seem to have accidentally gouged my eyes out.
Butler, make me a painting of a football player getting attacked by a horse
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Post by twinfuckyou on Dec 17, 2016 8:15:55 GMT
sir, it seems you already have five yachts filled with them. i shall fetch the solid gold one. butler, put my immortal back on fanfiction.net
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axolotlSushi
Scampermaster
Hi, my name is That Bastard
Posts: 215
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by axolotlSushi on Dec 17, 2016 14:57:07 GMT
Sorry, sir, but I seem to have discarded the file. And then burned the printed copy. What a shame.
Butler, bring me precisely 487 rubber ducks!
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The One Guy
Rust Maid
Posts: 1,148
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by The One Guy on Dec 19, 2016 18:38:52 GMT
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Post by twinfuckyou on Dec 20, 2016 5:03:30 GMT
im sorry, sir, but i have seemed to have killed him in the hunger games-esch butler deathmatch that you set up Butler, delete discord from existence
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Post by Poligrizolph on Dec 20, 2016 5:44:54 GMT
I apologize sir, but my contract states that if you misspell "-esque" at any point during my servitude, I am no longer obligated to obey orders. Goodbye, master.
Butler! Recapture that other butler!
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telaxius
corpse party
I don't want to go onto the cart!
Posts: 611
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by telaxius on Dec 20, 2016 5:53:02 GMT
Yes sir, would you like to follow the usual punishment, 10 hours of hot coals being pelted at him, or another punishment?
Butler, If I were to take a ship, replace all the wood, hooks and other components of the ship with exact replicas of those parts, would it be the same ship?
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venchi
Rungjumpin' Ragamuffin
Posts: 283
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by venchi on Dec 20, 2016 10:52:11 GMT
Interesting question, sir. Personally I think that depends, if you do it all at once I have to say no, but if it happens over the course of the ship's life then yes.
Butler, I forget are the monsters on Sesame Street real or not?
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Post by twinfuckyou on Dec 21, 2016 4:46:58 GMT
sir, they are whatever you want them to be Butler, punish Poligrizolph for pedantism
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Post by Poligrizolph on Dec 21, 2016 4:59:57 GMT
I apologize, sir, but my contract states that if you invent "pedantism" as a substitute for "pedantry," my contract is null and void.
Butler! Remove myself from the premises!
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axolotlSushi
Scampermaster
Hi, my name is That Bastard
Posts: 215
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by axolotlSushi on Dec 21, 2016 17:48:54 GMT
Gladly. *Tosses you out the window*
Butler, make me some tea.
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Post by twinfuckyou on Dec 21, 2016 20:28:34 GMT
fair enough. I assume you want *time slows* H-E-R-B-A-L..... Butler, could you please look up pedantism for my dear old friend Poligrizolph and find that although not common, pedantism is a completely legitimate word, which means almost the exact same thing as pedantry
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telaxius
corpse party
I don't want to go onto the cart!
Posts: 611
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by telaxius on Dec 21, 2016 20:46:08 GMT
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venchi
Rungjumpin' Ragamuffin
Posts: 283
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by venchi on Dec 27, 2016 20:56:30 GMT
Let's see how about this Sir? Your favorite snack is dog food covered in mayonaise. Butler destroy this years Christmas for everyone who isn't me.
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Post by Con Air on Dec 28, 2016 5:51:42 GMT
Grinch Bombs have been deployed sir.... B5, you sunk Santa's battleship. No more Christmas. Butler! Transfer my brain into Betty de Famme from Spirit of Justice right this instant!
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Post by Poligrizolph on Dec 28, 2016 6:30:15 GMT
Sir, while your enthusiasm for the Ace Attorney games is admirable and rather well-placed, I'm afraid that they are just games and are not quite within our plane of reality.
Butler! Cause a sunset this instant!
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Post by Con Air on Dec 28, 2016 6:41:42 GMT
Remember the last time we did an expiriment around the sun? That was when Dave died to potatoes.... Butler, I just minorly distorted reality so that Spirit of Justice is accessible for brain transplants. Now try transplanting my brain into Betty de Famme's body. (Note: We butlers are actually mad scientists. Muhahahahahah.)
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Post by Poligrizolph on Dec 28, 2016 6:52:05 GMT
Sir, I'd be pleased to, once you're done repairing the massive damage to reality you've caused by crudely splicing together two universes. Good luck with the horrorterrors, sir.
Butler! Bring me my anti-horrorterror spray!
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Post by Con Air on Dec 28, 2016 13:46:46 GMT
All I need is a boomstick to kill. I also restored the universe. Mad sci- er, Butler! Transplant my brain into Betty de Famme right now! I got shot in the heart (and you're to blame) and will die in 2 days!
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venchi
Rungjumpin' Ragamuffin
Posts: 283
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by venchi on Dec 28, 2016 17:55:22 GMT
Sorry sir, but as you know the memory and personality transplant take at least 3 days. Butler, increase your powerlevel until it's over 9000!!
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Post by Poligrizolph on Dec 28, 2016 18:13:14 GMT
SIRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG--
(This proceeds for three months. The remainder has been truncated for your convenience.)
Butler! Bring me the formuoli!
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Post by twinfuckyou on Jan 17, 2017 5:21:36 GMT
But sir craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs Butler, would you kindly go to Ryan's office and kill that son of a bitch?
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Post by arcanecynic on Jan 17, 2017 17:34:51 GMT
It's all done sir! but why would you want me killing puppies?
butler, fetch me a human sacrifice, preferably a virgin.
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The One Guy
Rust Maid
Posts: 1,148
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by The One Guy on Jan 17, 2017 18:08:01 GMT
Oh, just use yourself.
Butler! I need you to take the car in for a tune up!
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