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Post by spinydoughnut33 on Oct 28, 2019 14:22:45 GMT
> Alpha: Execute Order 66.
> Gil: Report Alpha's insubordination.
> Acolyte: Go sightseeing. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
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Post by Undefined Values on Oct 28, 2019 23:37:30 GMT
Alpha> Consult the system on the definition of "Greater Good" also look up "Value of Human Life". Find meaningless symbols. How could Surfacers have such a thing as "Value of Human Life" when Numeralia does not? Consult the nearest Numeralian with the most experience with the Surface world: Sigma.
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ten11
Gadabout Pipsqueak
Posts: 128
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Post by ten11 on Oct 30, 2019 4:10:25 GMT
It would be interesting to see what Sigma has to say about Numeralians and ethics, too bad she's not with the cult group. >Rick: you have in your possession solid and irrefutable proof that a crime has been committed. You must alert the authorities at once, request their cooperation, and proceed to the criminals' meeting point where you will retrieve Hal from their villainous clutches. >Gil: You might need to "take care" of Alpha if he doesn't let up with this plan of his. >Sister Embers: You're looking for a supposed god, right? Just go to the biggest, most religious and temple-y looking building you can find and loudly declare that the god of logic doesn't exist. That ought to do the trick, and if it doesn't, well, that just shows how lame a god he is.
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by randomwriter on Oct 30, 2019 14:22:44 GMT
>Alpha, field-test invention. Realize the value of human life moments after firing.
>Rick, be the loose cannon cowboy cop who plays by no one's rules.
>Acolyte, go sight seeing! Chat with numeralians, call Jamie to tell her you're at Numeralia, accidentally bump into the boys in blue plus Sigma.
>Embers, just look for the most magical being around. That's gods, right? Alternatively, just ask where Logic is.
>Gil, introduce Numeralians to hedonism.
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Post by tailortf on Nov 10, 2019 5:09:28 GMT
>Rick: Alert the authorities at once.
Rick: Well then. Rick: This, uh...this all seems pretty cut and dry. Got their name on there and everything. Sigma: It is quite dry, yes. Sigma: Though I believe this paper was printed, not cut. Jones: Right. Jones: Do you know where this address is, by any chance, Sigma? It just looks like a bunch of numbers to me. Sigma: Yes, naturally. Sigma: This is a street in one of the old service sectors not far from here. Jones: Well then, I guess we know what we should do, right? Jones: We know where the criminals are gonna be and we're clearly in the right here. Jones: So we should go to the Founder guy and tell him about it, then meet them there with a bunch of cops or whatever. Jones: It's the most sensible and reasonable option, really. Sigma: Yes. Sigma: Sensible. Rick: Reason...able.
==>
>Rick: Be the loose cannon cop who plays by no one's rules.
Jones: ...we're...not gonna do the sensible thing, are we. Rick: I mean, we should, but come on, Jones! Rick: This is a great opportunity! Rick: When do we ever come up against criminals?! Jones: Eight times this year! Jones: And that's me not counting the mailman. Rick: Okay, fair, but when do we get to ARREST them? For the first time ever in this city, no less? Rick: We could really do some good here! Jones: Ugh, fine. Jones: But I'm only agreeing because I just realised that getting more people with us would probably be just as painful as that "questioning" from before. Sigma: It very well could! Sigma: Then it is settled. Sigma: We shall arrive at the marked area at precisely midnight. Jones: Why midnight? They didn't say a specific time. Sigma: It is only the most logical time for a meeting when no other time is mentioned. Rick: Yeah, come on, Jones. Don't you know anything about drama? Jones: I don't and I'm REALLY glad.
>Meanwhile, on the other side of town (again).
Acolyte: Uh, let's see... Acolyte: Well, I think that one up there is the Square? Or the Box? I don't know, everyone calls it different things. Acolyte: Oh, and there's the Rapier, of course. I think it's always meant to point north or something, I forget. Acolyte: And that one's the, uh...Smiling Fish? Sister Embers: Trident. Acolyte: Right, right, thank you. Acolyte: Yeah, that one is meant to help fishermen get good hauls. Acolyte: Don't know how a bunch of stars do that, but there you go.
==>
Gil: Wow, kid. Gil: I wish I could say I'm impressed by your knowledge of constellations, but I'm...really not. Gil: Like, at all. You're really bad at this. Acolyte: Yeah, my dad taught me. Acolyte: We used to go out fishing sometimes until I stopped being able to fit in the boat. Gil: I...don't care. Acolyte: I just think it's really neat, y'know? Acolyte: All the beauty of nature that the gods have created for us. Acolyte: Or, uh, just the one god, I guess. Argaleth. I don't really know, it's a little vague. Gil: Feh. Just a bunch of shiny dots in the sky. Gil: You might as well be amazed by a bunch of clouds or a lake or the miracle of life. Gil: Now, all this? Numeralia, I mean? THIS I can respect. Gil: Granted, it's being horribly misused- Gil: -if it was up to me, this'd be Gil's Skybound Boozetown And Gambling Emporium- Gil: -but the fact that humans built all this stuff on our own? THAT'S pretty incredible. Acolyte: Jeez, you're starting to sound kind of like a Numeralian yourself. Acolyte: Did talking to Alpha have that much of an effect on you? Gil: God no. That guy's a total dick, wouldn't even listen to me.
==>
Acolyte: I dunno, I'm sure he's not just being difficult for no reason. Acolyte: I'd be annoyed too if I worked hard on something and somebody came in and started trying to change it, y'know? Gil: Yeah, I guess, maybe. Gil: I don't know, I don't like all these complex moral discussions before bed. Gil: I like my obstacles as one-dimensional as possible. Doesn't feel as weird then. Acolyte: That's fair. Acolyte: I just mean that despite all their fancy tech and headbands and stuff, Numeralians are still just people. Acolyte: And people are usually pretty similar everywhere, so I get where they're coming from. Gil: I suppose so.
==>
Gil: Still wish he'd let us sleep inside, though. Acolyte: Yeah, kinda sucks. Acolyte: Well, what can you do. Acolyte: G'night.
>A few hours later, near precisely midnight.
Jones: Woah. What's up with this place? Jones: It's all dilapidated and crap. Rick: You can see? How- Rick: Oh, right. Rick: Wish I had magic vision sometimes. Rick: These clouds are so thick I can barely tell where the ground is. Jones: Yeah, I'd say "it's not all it's cracked up to be", but normal vision sounds pretty lame compared to what I have. Jones: So what's the deal, Sigma? Sigma: Ah, yes, of course. Sigma: The service districts are how Numeralia acquires the vast majority of its' power. Sigma: Large arrays of lightning rods are lowered into the cloud layer where they harness the innate power of lightning. Sigma: These massive electric charges are then stored all over the city, where they are used to both run all the major functions and also charge any domiciles for autonomous use. Sigma: Since the power gathering is automatic, these districts are usually empty. Sigma: This one in particular is quite old, so we may encounter some structural integrity failures. Jones: In the dark, too. Jones: Great.
==>
Jones: Okay, everyone. Jones: Stick together and, uh, watch your step.
==>
Sigma: I do not believe that is a proper use of scryer technology. Rick: Who cares? This is great! Best idea I've had all year. Rick: See in the dark AND have both hands free to beat up bad guys. Rick: Now I know why you guys wear those headband things. Rick: Maybe I should get one of those! Sigma: Unfortunately, that is not possible. Sigma: Interfaces must be implanted at an early stage of development in order to create the necessary permanent connections. Rick: Oh, sucks. Rick: Oh well, it probably wouldn't look that great on me anyway. Unlike capes, headbands don't go with every outfit. Jones: Yeah, we learned that one the hard way. Jones: How much longer to the meeting point, Sigma? Sigma: Approximately 30 seconds more. Jones: Huh, you'd think we'd see them by now. Rick: Maybe it's an ambush! Rick: Nah, probably not, actually. Rick: We're the best. Rick: Nobody could get the drop on-
==>
Rick: AGHHH Sigma: Ah. Ow. Jones: Oh, there we go.
==>
Numeralian: Attention, surface individuals. Numeralian: I realise you come from a highly violent culture, so I will caution you. Numeralian: Do not attempt to approach the domicile or me. Numeralian: Do not attempt to harm the domicile or me. Numeralian: If you attempt either of those things, the conversation will be over. Numeralian: Do you understand? Good.
==>
Numeralian: Now then, let us begin. Numeralian: I am pleased to see you have arrived at what is the most logical time to hold such a meeting. Sigma: An Epsilon? Huh. Sigma: Well, I suppose of any kind of Numeralian to commit a crime, this is the most statistically probable. Rick: A-HA! Rick: An Epsilon! I should've known! Rick: We've got you now, buddy! Rick: Our friend knows your name AND we all saw what you look like! Rick: There's no getting away from the law for you now! Epsilon: There are currently 25984 Epsilons in operation within the borders of Numeralia. Epsilon: In addition to this, the mission logs indicate 153 Epsilons dispatched to active missions on the surface. Epsilon: In Numeralia's lifetime, the total number of Epsilons produced- Jones: Okay, okay, we get it. Jones: So, what the hell is this all about? The hell did you kidnap Hal for?! Epsilon: I do not see why you would indicate this as a "kidnapping". Epsilon: Our group is merely repossessing the rightful property of the Numeralian Project on behalf of the rest of the city. Rick: Well...you suck! Rick: And your face is stupid! Rick: Come down here and fight me, coward! Epsilon: ...yes. Epsilon: This is roughly what I was expecting.
==>
Epsilon: Enough tomfoolery. Jones: Yeah, I agree. Our schedule is already very tomfoolery-rich. Epsilon: I will make this brief. Epsilon: We are willing to cooperate with you on this subject. Epsilon: We merely require you to fulfil our demands. Rick: NEVER! Jones: Okay, shoot. Epsilon: The conditions are as follows: Epsilon: You will abandon your current objective and leave Numeralia as soon as possible by any means necessary. Rick: NEVER!! Jones: Alright, fair enough. Jones: See, we can't do that, though, because- Epsilon: In addition, you will notify the rest of the Church of Truth that their cooperation with Numeralia is now over. Rick: NEV- wait, what? Jones: What the hell?! We're not- Epsilon: As soon as you acquire proof of having done so, we will return your companion to you immediately. Epsilon: We will accept confirmation in the form of a signed order dissolving all prior contracts between the Church of Truth and Numeralia. Jones: What exactly do you expect us to do here, man?! Jones: We're not anywhere nearly close enough to the Truthbearer to- Epsilon: Silence! Epsilon: These conditions are non-negotiable. Epsilon: If you wish for us to uphold our part of the deal, you must do the same. Sigma: ...did your note not say that this was meant to be a negotiation? Epsilon: Oh, yes, I suppose it did. Epsilon: Well, that was a minor typographical error. Epsilon: I apologise for any inconvenience or confusion this may have caused you. Epsilon: Now then, I will give you 5 minutes to consider your options, then I shall return to hear your answer. Rick: Wait! Jones: But we can't-
==>
Jones: ...aaaand there he goes. Awesome. Jones: Okay, so, turns out they're insane. New plan. Jones: ...does anybody have one?
==>
Numeralian: Fine work, Epsilon. Numeralian: I was monitoring the conversation via the security camera and you came off as very commanding. Epsilon: Thank you, Theta. Epsilon: All that is left to do now is wait. Theta: ...do you feel that perhaps this is asking too much? Theta: Now that I have heard you say it, it feels somewhat excessive. Epsilon: I do not see it that way, no. Epsilon: These are esteemed dignitaries from the Church of Truth. Epsilon: Surely they will have no difficulty convincing everyone else on the surface. Epsilon: Especially over such a minor request. Theta: I suppose so, yes. Theta: Say, have you performed a health scan recently? Theta: For instance, right now? Epsilon: *sigh* Epsilon: As I have told you before, Theta, you are overestimating the danger. Epsilon: They are from the surface, yes, and absolutely filthy, but that does not immediately make them carriers of disease. Epsilon: In any case, I maintained a safe, no-contact distance. Theta: The medical books do say that certain diseases are airborne. Epsilon: Just keep the domicile steady. Epsilon: I would like to get out of here as soon as we hear their answer.
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Post by Illogical on Nov 10, 2019 5:27:51 GMT
Sigma> This request is highly illogical. If the Church of Truth and Numeralia agree that they are no longer cooperating, then a Numeralian returning a companion to the Church of Truth violates that agreement, by cooperating with the Church of Truth. In fact, if we agree that all prior contracts are dissolved, that also includes the one where they give Hal back.
On the other hand, as the conversation is now over. Is there any reason not to approach or harm the domicile?
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Post by spinydoughnut33 on Nov 10, 2019 6:13:43 GMT
> Rick & Jones: Yell for Hal to come out. What's Epsilon gonna do? Stop him?
> Acolyte: Dream.
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Post by sillyConformist on Nov 11, 2019 15:55:41 GMT
> Rick: Rush in and apprehend these criminals
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by randomwriter on Nov 12, 2019 23:16:30 GMT
>Hal: Do what feels right.
>Rick, LEAP ONTO THE DOMICILE, BREAK THE WINDOWS, SCREAM AND SHOUT AT THE PILOT.
>Jones, summon small animals to pester Epsilon
>Sigma, this isn't good! Quick, upload Battle Yoga into your list of data, just in case. Self defense is the best defense, after all.
>Acolyte, dream. Wake up to find Alpha's Research Team prodding you repeatedly.
>Gil, wake up to find Founder Alpha prodding you with his cane.
>Embers, realize logic was inside you all along. Try to get him out of your head with illogical thoughts. Shipping people! Stupid dances! ANYTHING TO- WHERE IS LOGIC
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Post by tailortf on Dec 1, 2019 13:32:08 GMT
>Rick: Rush in and apprehend these criminals.
Rick: Okay, so, just so we're clear: we're not agreeing to that, right? Jones: No way! I saw the Truthbearer ONCE and I panic-threw a spell at her. Jones: She crushed it like it was nothing. That's the same thing she'll do to us if we try and stick our nose into geopolitics like this! Sigma: I really do not see the issue here, but very well, I suppose we will not agree to their demands. Sigma: But then what will we do? Sigma: They are waiting for an answer in 4.35 minutes. Rick: I'll tell you what we do: Rick: Jones, get ready. We're doing Formation 3. Jones: Format- Jones: Oh no. No no no no. Jones: That never works! Rick: Well, it works, it's more that it's never USEFUL. Rick: But now I know why I came up with it! For this very specific circumstance! Jones: Fine, fine, but we don't even have Hal with us! Jones: What, you expect Sigma to help us?! Jones: She's like a tiny little baby! Jones: No offence, S. Sigma: No, you are right, the average Numeralian constitution is very delicate. Sigma: 53 years ago a surge of the common cold destroyed 5 sectors before the order for amputation went through. Jones: Yeah, see? Jones: We're not doing Formation 3.
==>
Epsilon: Alright, that has been 5 minutes exactly. Epsilon: Now then, if you are prepared to negotiate, I have some planned statements for the Church I would like you to-
==>
Rick: Not so fast, heretic. Rick: Let's have a little talk.
==>
Rick: AHA! FORMATION 3 AMBUSH! Epsilon: What are you doing? Rick: We're doing an ambush! Like I just said! Epsilon: This is...not an ambush. Not by the standard definition, at least. Rick: It is if I say it is! I'm the ambusher! Epsilon: Hm. Very well. If this is how you feel negotiations should proceed, I will not disparage your ways. Epsilon: Although this is very strange. Epsilon: Is this how you pictured this particular meeting going? Rick: Kind of! Rick: Although you're making it a little weird! Rick: But I'm not gonna let that stop me!
>Jones: Yell for Hal to come out.
Jones: Hey wait, yeah, what the hell am I doing? Jones: This is stupid. Jones: Well, maybe not as much as some of the other things we've done, but still, my point stands.
==>
Jones: HAL! Jones: IT'S DADDY! Jones: IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, GET YOUR METAL BUTT DOWN HERE! WE MISS YOU!
==>
Rick: Hal! Buddy! Epsilon: Oh, please. Epsilon: Did you not consider that we would account for this possibility? Epsilon: Your assistant has been fitted with a confining tether that has demonstrated a tensile strength of well over 100 MPa. Epsilon: The possibility of it breaking is so low I will not even consider the calculation of it-
==>
Epsilon: AHH! Rick: GAH! Jones: DAMMIT NO I HATE FORMATION 3
==>
Theta: Epsilon! I am sorry to say, but I feel I may have some criticisms concerning how you are handling this negotiation. Epsilon: Theta, I would be very happy to listen to those criticisms after you GET THE DOMICILE UPRIGHT! Epsilon: Or would you rather crash onto the surface?! Epsilon: You do know it is made ENTIRELY of dirt, right?! Theta: Yes, yes, of course. Theta: As soon as my body adjusts to these new g-forces, I will get right on that!
==>
Rick: Well, well, well. Rick: What have we here? Rick: A HERETIC!
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Rick: That's right, buddy. Rick: I'm still in the game! Rick: Oh, you thought a simple broken nose and what feels like a concussion are enough to take old Rick down, but no sir. Rick: You're going down! Rick: And you know why?! Rick: Because in the end, the Truth ALWAYS-
==>
==>
Rick: ...ah. Rick: Okay. Rick: I- I- I- forgot. Rick: R-right. Rick: I'm just... Rick: You know, I don't feel so good all the sudden? Rick: I think I'm just gonna...lie...down.
==>
==>
Jones: Oh crap. Crap crap crap! Jones: Now we lost Hal AND Rick! Do you see them anywhere?! Sigma: No, I believe they have gone too far for my sensors. Sigma: And once again I would like to point out that if I were on top of the formation, this would not have happened. Jones: Oh man, I hope Rick's okay. His dad's gonna kill me. Jones: He made me promise to make sure that Rick would be at MOST injured or maimed, not dead! Jones: You think he landed on something? Sigma: It is not impossible. Sigma: Well, technically most things are not impossible, but this one is more possible than a lot of them. Sigma: These old sectors are very dense vertically. Sigma: They were built before the planners realised that we didn't need to conserve surface area.
==>
Ow. Ow ow owie. That hurt a lot. You really hope that if you got a scar, it's some cool one like Captain MacLarren has and not a disfiguring one. At least you landed on more Numeralia. Either that or you were REALLY close to the ground. Man, what even happened? Everything just kinda went flying and-
==>
Oh, right. That was really crazy, huh? At least now you know the old adage isn't true - someone CAN get struck by lightning twice. ...was that the right saying? Jones knows that saying. He's smart. And cool. And...not here. Wherever "here" is.
==>
Rick: Hello? Rick: Jones? Rick: Sigma? Rick: ...Hal? Rick: Ah, butt.
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Post by spinydoughnut33 on Dec 1, 2019 16:49:22 GMT
> Rick: First of all, fix your hair.
> Rick: Pray for divine intervention.
> Rick: Locate Hal.
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Not much else to do
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Post by Not much else to do on Dec 2, 2019 11:30:23 GMT
Jones+Sigma> Recover Hal somehow. You'll need help trying to find Rick.
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by randomwriter on Dec 2, 2019 13:49:54 GMT
>Hal: Do the Mario and swing that cord round and round. So long, bowser!
>Sigma: How awful. One of the few surface dwellers you’ve managed to get to know is either in danger, or possibly dead. Begin your search for Rick and Hal, and feel free to call for assistance.
>Rick, bump into Logic, or Embers looking for Logic. Alternatively, discover something Numeralia doesn’t want people to see.
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Post by tailortf on Dec 6, 2019 7:39:50 GMT
>First off, fix your hair.
"Distinguished Gentleman Hair Gel: if it ain't D.G., don't bother." You love that advert. Cut it out of the paper and everything. What's the point of being a hero if you can't look good doing it? ...well, lots of reasons. Helping people, stopping criminals... It's just better when you also look good is all.
==>
Alright, Mr. Scryer, just the two of us for now. If you'd work, at least. Come on, come on... is this thing broken? When the heck would it have time to-
==>
OW WORKS DEFINITELY STILL WORKS
>See if that lightning strike gave you superpowers.
Man, you WISH. Special powers and things never seem to happen to you. You don't even have any regular ol' magic like Jones or Francine or that guy at the grocery store. Well, nobody ever said being a hero was easy. Maybe you'll get some powers later. For now, let's just concentrate on getting out of here and, uh, not falling off in the dark.
>Locate Hal.
It'd be nice to locate yourself first. You can't make heads or tails of this map. That, and last time you saw Hal, he WAS hurtling down towards the surface at a crazy speed. Oh well, he'll probably figure it out. Hal's a tough cookie. And a good friend! All the more reason to find him and punish those evildoers as quickly as possible.
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Speaking of evildoers, aha! Littering and vandalism! You're a little lost in the dark right now, but sure, you've got time for an arrest. Not like there's that much else to do.
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What the cowardly cads didn't realise is that their very instrument of crime is their undoing. This paint trail will lead you right to them! Or away from them, as the case may be. Either way, it'll lead you SOMEWHERE. Paint trails usually tend to have something at the end of them.
==>
Yeah, see? Like this, uh...graffiti? Street art? You're not sure what it is, but it's definitely not supposed to be here. ...and it's also more than a little freaky. It's a pretty simple design, but somehow it feels like it's staring at you. Shivers.
==>
Oh, someone's coming, you think. Uh...you're...you're just gonna...hide. Not because you're scared! You're just setting up a surprise ambush! Yeah, that's it. They'll never know what hit 'em. Next person you see is getting a face full of Truth.
==>
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Truthbearer: ...see why I have to be involved. God of Truth: Look, it ain't like I'm forcin' ya to go, I'm just sayin' that it's a lot easier with you helpin' out. God of Truth: Plus you're the only one who can help with this kinda business. Truthbearer: Well why don't you get Logic to help you out? Or any of your other god pals? I have things that need doing at home. I was working on some good new zoning laws before you told me about this. God of Truth: Gods get...territorial about this stuff. God of Truth: Frankly, ya can't get two a' the buggers in the same room without them tryin' ta kill each other. God of Truth: Sometimes I feel like there ain't that much difference between our gods and the ones floatin' out in the void there. God of Truth: Besides, this is excitin'! Well, sort of. Ya really wanna spend your life just workin' on zonin' laws? Truthbearer: I LIKE zoning laws. You know what you're getting with zoning laws. Truthbearer: Besides, if I wanted to clean things for a living I would've stayed working for MacLarren. Truthbearer: You know he has a bar now? The man broke down the walls of the Silent Valley and now he's bussing tables. Truthbearer: Not that I've ever been. God of Truth: Mmm.
==>
God of Truth: Alright, this here's the place. Truthbearer: Yeah, okay, I see what you meant now. Truthbearer: This is...a lot. God of Truth: Yeah, more than there were a few hours ago. God of Truth: I thought I scared 'im off then, but I guess not. God of Truth: Well, ya know the drill. God of Truth: These bein' runes, we can't exactly clean 'em with magic without essentially puttin' up a big "WE'RE HERE" sign for every god in town, so we're goin' ahead with the more practical solution. Truthbearer: Yep. Scrub-a-dub. Truthbearer: Let's just get this over with before anyone sees us. Truthbearer: I can't believe this is what they've got you doing. Truthbearer: ...I can't believe I'm supposed to worship you. God of Truth: Hey, this here's important work. God of Truth: Even an image of a god's got a tiny little bit a' god in it, and this is a hell of a lot 'a images. God of Truth: This kinda thing puts a strain on reality, and that stuff's like rushin' water. God of Truth: A hairline fracture that goes ignored is all it takes ta turn Numeralia into a big ol' glowing white splotch in the sky with tentacles comin' outta it. Truthbearer: Well I'm here, aren't I? Truthbearer: I clearly understand the importance of the situation. Truthbearer: But I still reserve the right to complain about it the entire time. God of Truth: Yeah, fair enough.
==>
Man, you must've hit your head pretty hard. That...that has to be the only answer to what's going on here, right? Otherwise you're really confused. About, like, a lot of things.
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Post by spinydoughnut33 on Dec 6, 2019 8:06:53 GMT
> Rick: Isn't impersonating a God super illegal? Especially *your* God? Well, it should be.
> Rick: ENFORCE TRUTH.
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Post by danyyl on Dec 6, 2019 8:32:12 GMT
> Rick: It's definitely related to those heretics from Stonekey... Remember how Truthbearer just let them go?
> Rick: Interrogate.
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Post by Its just a dream on Dec 6, 2019 9:38:25 GMT
Rick> This makes so little sense. You must be unconscious and having the weirdest dream. There is no way the Truthbearer would be here or holding a mop. There is now way that your God is just some scruffy guy. You know how this works, resist and it just drags on being weird and horrible. Play along with the silliness and then the dream starts to become a great heroic adventure like it should be! (Until Jones wakes you up just as its getting real good. Its like he know what you're dreaming and does it deliberately...)
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by randomwriter on Dec 6, 2019 17:08:07 GMT
>Rick, it all makes sense! The cultists, Frankie being in greysoil- she must have called her mom to check up on you!
>Greet Frankie’s mom and the guy, and ask them what the heck is going on. Be sure to tell Frankie’s mom about how Frankie adventured with you earlier.
>Numeralian astronomer eighth god cultists, ambush the three while they’re talking.
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Post by danyyl on Dec 6, 2019 17:09:36 GMT
> Rick: Make a mental note for yourself to get a new rapier or even a bastard sword, maybe one of those wavy looking ones. They look kinda cool.
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ten11
Gadabout Pipsqueak
Posts: 128
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Post by ten11 on Dec 6, 2019 23:47:42 GMT
Oh, hey there Truth. This might get a little awkward, sorry about that. Try to go easy on the guy, I'm not sure he'll be able to handle knowing, well, the truth.
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Post by pandorasBurette on Dec 7, 2019 3:18:52 GMT
>Rick: Fanboy over your LITERAL GOD and IDYLLIC LEADER! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Post by tailortf on Dec 25, 2019 11:36:27 GMT
>Rick: It all makes sense!
Of course! After Frankie sent you off at Greysoil, she probably felt worried about how well you were going to do, so she called her mom up and asked her to check on you guys! And she totally showed up, too! Now THAT'S looking out for the little guy. The Church really does care! Yeah, she showed up. With...mops and buckets. And a...handyman? To clean up graffiti in Numeralia. In a place where you ended up...by accident.
>Rick: This makes so little sense.
Actually, wait, this is kinda weird. Why here of all places? Why would the Truthbearer skulk around in the middle of the night? She's the shining example of Truth, that's kinda the opposite of skulking. Oh, god, you just had a terrible thought. She DID let that evil cult go and you HAVE seen them here. What if she's actually totally in kahoots with them and she's here to help with their evil plans?! The entire system could be corrupt, from top to bottom! So would Captain MacLarren be corrupt too? And Jane? Does that mean YOU'RE corrupt too?! OH GOD! No, calm down. There has to be a rational and less awful explanation than this. Just...go up and ask her. Yeah. The living embodiment of everything you worship in life. No problem.
==>
God of Truth: This here's pretty tough goin'. God of Truth: Maybe he mixed somethin' into it to make it last longer? God of Truth: That one always did have an imagination. Truthbearer: I don't know who you're talking about and I really don't care. Truthbearer: I'd just like to be done with this so I can go home and avoid triggering a political crisis. Truthbearer: Founder Alpha's gonna have my ass if some bored Numeralian finds us right now. That guy hates the Church enough as it is. God of Truth: Oh, relax, I checked last time I came here. God of Truth: Ain't no one 'round for miles. The whole place is abandoned, more or less. God of Truth: Nobody's gonna see us.
==>
Rick: Uh, excuse me? Miss, uh, Truthbearer? Truthbearer: Amazing. Truthbearer: What is even the POINT of being a god if you just suck at everything anyway?! God of Truth: Hey, I'm just omniscient, alright? That don't mean I see everythin' that's goin' on around us. Truthbearer: That is very literally what it means. God of Truth: Could ya go talk to him? God of Truth: That, uh...that ain't one a' mine. God of Truth: I thought it'd be a little on the nose. Truthbearer: Unbelievable.
>Rick: Interrogate.
Truthbearer: Okay, so. Truthbearer: You. Cape boy. Rick: Er...it's Rick, ma'am. Rick Verdant, Church of Truth, Stonekey Chapter. Truthbearer: Right, right, Rick. I think I heard all your names before, but you never really get the chance to learn them, you know? Truthbearer: Besides Embers, I guess. Truthbearer: You're probably wondering why I'm here. Rick: A little, yeah. Truthbearer: Well, I assure you that there is an excellent explanation for this. Truthbearer: One that I am definitely not creating in my head right now. Truthbearer: Since, as the Truthbearer, I am the highest upholder of Truth. Rick: Of course. Rick: ...may I hear that explanation, your, uh, Truthiness? Truthbearer: Ha, nice. Truthbearer: ...would you believe "it's just a dream"? Rick: I don't think this is a dream. Rick: Or not one of mine, at least. Rick: I DID hit my head earlier, but I usually wear much nicer things in my dreams. Rick: And I don't really wander around weird flying streets. Rick: Usually I fight, like, cool god monsters and stuff.
==>
Truthbearer: Ahh dammit! Truthbearer: I think they heard you. Truthbearer: Okay, this is gonna get bumpy, hold on.
==>
God of Truth: Dang it, they broke through! Truthbearer: Yeah, I noticed. God of Truth: Hold 'em off! I'll go get my armor and be right back! God of Truth: Oh, and keep an eye on the kid! He's- well, he's important! Don't let 'im die! Truthbearer: Oh what, so if he wasn't I could totally let him die? God of Truth: You know damn well that ain't what I- Truthbearer: I know! Just go!
==>
Truthbearer: COME ON, YOU SONS A' BITCHES! Truthbearer: COME GET YOUR MEAL! RIGHT HERE! Rick: There's so many of them! Truthbearer: Yeah, they're real pissed off, too! Something's had them spooked this entire month! Truthbearer: I actually have a theory on this! Truthbearer: You know how you can tell a real big shark's coming 'round because all the guppies and stuff will get crazy and start running? Truthbearer: ...actually, nevermind, probably not a good topic right now. Rick: Shouldn't we...do something? Run away, maybe? Truthbearer: What? Run? And you call yourself a knight of Truth?! Rick: No, I get it, but I'm just thinking of your safety, ma'am! Rick: I don't want to be the guy who got the Truthbearer killed, you know? Truthbearer: Oh, don't you worry, you're not gonna be THAT guy. Truthbearer: "Run away". What are they teaching you kids in school these days? Truthbearer: Do any of you even read that dumb book we send out? Truthbearer: We can't lose! Truthbearer: We have the Truth on our side!
==>
God of Truth: GET IN THERE, YA BASTARDS! God of Truth: AND STAY OUT! God of Truth: THIS HERE UNIVERSE IS FOR CORPOREAL BEINGS ONLY! God of Truth: NOW! SEAL IT! Truthbearer: Sealing! Truthbearer: This fissure is unstable as shit, by the way, so you might want to step back! Truthbearer: When it collapses, you're gonna feel it!
==>
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You joined the right religion.
==>
God of Truth: Ha ha! Woo! Yeah! God of Truth: Now THAT is what I'm talkin' about! Truthbearer: Seriously?! How can you act that way?! Truthbearer: We just nearly died! Like how we nearly die EVERY time this happens! Truthbearer: And we have an adherent with us! What were you going to tell HIM if something happened, huh?! Truthbearer: "Sorry, the Truthbearer got her head knocked off by a bunch of minor gods, here's a gift certificate"?! God of Truth: Oh come on, you're tellin' me ya don't enjoy this at all? Truthbearer: HELL NO I don't! God of Truth: Sneakin' 'round behind the scenes in the middle of the night? Kickin' all kinds a' ass? Protectin' the mechanisms what keep the world turnin' and whatnot? Truthbearer: Absolutely not! This is so incredibly irresponsible, I can't believe we're having this conversation!
==>
God of Truth: Karen. God of Truth: I hope ya ain't tryin' ta lie to me. God of Truth: Ya realise what god I am, right? God of Truth: Ya ain't been worshippin' the God a' Backrubs your entire life. God of Truth: Come on now.
==>
Truthbearer: ...okay, fine, that was pretty great. We can still kick some ass if we need to. God of Truth: Atta girl! Truthbearer: But my point still stands. Truthbearer: We should try to be more careful in the future. God of Truth: I know, I know. God of Truth: Rick here just slipped past me for a second while I wasn't payin' attention. God of Truth: My bad. Truthbearer: Well, I hope if it's your bad, you can go solve it yourself. Truthbearer: After all this excitement I sure am in the mood for some scrubbing all of a sudden. God of Truth: Sure as. I'll just pop 'im back over to his friends and be right with ya.
==>
God of Truth: Hey there, Rick. God of Truth: Now, listen, ya weren't supposed to see none a' this, not really. God of Truth: So...why don't we keep this here business 'tween the two of us? God of Truth: Not lyin', of course, just not mentionin' it to no one. God of Truth: Would be doin' me and TB over there a real favor. God of Truth: ...hello? God of Truth: No? Just goin' to stare at me? Alright then. God of Truth: Well, let's get ya over to your friends. I'll see ya around. God of Truth: Now don't squirm.
==>
God of Truth: Alley-oop!
>Rick: Eeeeeee!
YOU JOINED THE RIGHT RELIGION. THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM BECAUSE THINGS LIKE THIS ONLY EVER HAPPEN IN YOUR DREAMS.
==>
Jones: RICK! WHERE ARE YOU, MAN?! Sigma: Really, if he lost consciousness, shouting is not particularly helpful. Sigma: And with a fall from that height, the possibility of that is- Jones: Okay, thanks Sigma, real good to know. Jones: I- hey wait, isn't that Rick right there?! Sigma: What? We've only gone down one level. That is not very statistically probable. Sigma: It is more likely that it is someone who is Rick's exact twin, or possibly a very convincing scarecrow. Jones: No, it's totally him, look!
==>
Sigma: Well then, I stand corrected. Sigma: I suppose even the statistically improbable happens periodically. Jones: Yeah, Rick's pretty improbable alright. Jones: How'd you even get up here, man? Did you climb? Rick: I don't... Rick: I...th... Rick: wh... Sigma: How curious. He seems to have lost all vocabulary knowledge despite only suffering a mild concussion and heart rate increase. Jones: Yeah, he's probably just a bit freaked out. Jones: I know I would be if I got lost on my own down there. Jones: Let's get out of here. Sigma: Are you certain? We did not manage to return Hal. Perhaps we should wait and attempt negotiations again. Jones: Nah, my shoulders hurt too much. I'm sure we'll manage to figure something out later. Jones: Now that I know what we're up against, I'm not too bothered. Jones: Hal's a big boy, he can deal with those two nerds for now. Jones: Besides, you wanted to submit that report to the security place, right? Jones: Sounds like a good time after tonight. Filling out some forms. Right, Rick? Rick: So... Rick: I mean...how...that... Jones: ...yeah, let's hope this clears up by tomorrow morning.
==>
==>
Gil: AGH! WHAT- AHH!
==>
Acolyte: Good morning!
==>
Gil: Alright, day two with the Geek Squad. Gil: Everyone put in their best effort today, okay? Gil: I've been homeless before and I do NOT recommend it for an extended period of time. Gil: I'm done with the "sleeping on the ground" stage of my life. Acolyte: Actually, that wasn't the worst sleep I've had since joining the cult. Acolyte: There was this one time where we were all out in a field, and Grand Master Flame made us dig a big ditch and sleep in it to "hide from enemies". Acolyte: There wasn't anyone around for miles. Sister Embers: ...wait, when was this? Sister Embers: I do not recall such an event ever taking place. Acolyte: Seriously? You were definitely there, I remember you burning off the grass so it would be easier to dig. Acolyte: It was maybe...two years ago? Sister Embers: Hmm. I cannot say that I remember this. Sister Embers: I do not typically require sleeping arrangements, so I suppose it could have not been memorable to me... Acolyte: Definitely pretty memorable to me. I woke up with a worm in my hair and Brother Norton's foot in my face! Gil: Okay, see that shit up there? Gil: That entire sad exchange? Gil: Let's keep things like THAT to a minimum today. Gil: We don't need these guys thinking we're just sad surface losers, that'll really hurt our chances. Acolyte: You realise they already kinda think that, right? Acolyte: They haven't exactly been subtle about it. Gil: ...true. Still, cut it out, you two are disgusting. Let's get in there, game faces.
==>
Beta: Good morning, Ethics Committee! Gil: Hey hey, party people! Gil: Who's ready to get their learn on?! Tau: Good morning. Tau: I will not exchange further pleasantries as there is no time. Tau: Today, we are conducting surface testing of the full scale model of the prototype. Beta: There is a very small chance it might explode again, so please stand clear! Tau: This was reserved several months in advance and is our only available surface contact time, so we are doing it today. Tau: Please do not delay further with pointless arguments. Gil: ...uh, okay? Remember how yesterday we specifically talked about how we SHOULDN'T aim it at the surface? Gil: REMEMBER THAT THING WE AGREED ON??? Tau: Yes, yes, lower your heart rate. Tau: We are merely conducting in situ testing on a small area of mineral-rich soil. Tau: No human settlements of any kind nearby. Gil: Oh. I...guess...that's fine then? Tau: Yes. Beta: Incidentally, have you seen Alpha? Beta: I have been sending him messages all morning and he has not been responding. Gil: Wait, he's not here? So much for Mr. Perfect.
==>
Phi: Ah, good morning, Alpha. Phi: Everything is in order for the surface test, we are ready at your word. Alpha: ...what? Alpha: Oh, yes. Good. Morning. Alpha: Yes, the test. We should do...that. Phi: Are you alright? You seem sweaty. Phi: Have you slept last night at all? Alpha: Yes, yes, yes, of course. Alpha: ...or rather, no. Not as such, no. Alpha: I was busy studying...surface charts. Phi: I see. Phi: While I recognise and praise your commitment to science, the guidelines do state that getting less than 8 hours of sleep a day brings the danger of causing mental impairment. Phi: Are you certain you will be alright today? Alpha: ...yes. Alpha: Yes, I feel I am capable. Alpha: Let us proceed. With the test, that is. Of course. Phi: Very well. ==>
Acolyte: Jeez, Alpha doesn't look too good. Acolyte: I think this whole thing might be really getting to him. Gil: Good! This is the perfect time to force our beliefs onto the man. Gil: He's at his weakest, he'll be easily swayed by ideology that isn't his own. Acolyte: Really? I mean, I guess, but that's pretty mean. You sure we should do that? Gil: I- seriously? Gil: Aren't you meant to be a cult?! Don't you want to save the world or something?! Acolyte: Well, yeah, but not with underhanded tactics like that! Acolyte: That's just a jerk move. Sister Embers: The Holy Cult of Argaleth are honour bound to our sacred mission. Sister Embers: Thus, no jerk moves. Or sinners' tactics, as is their proper nomenclature. Gil: Yeah, and I see recruitment has skyrocketed ever since you guys took up THAT approach. Gil: Look, I know all about forcing the weak to acquiesce to your will, I used to sell insurance for a while. This will work. Gil: Now everyone shut up and think of an approach to crack this nut. Gil: Ready? Go.
==>
Gil: Hmm. Sister Embers: Hmm. Acolyte: Hmm.
==>
Sister Embers: Oh! Gil: Yeah? Sister Embers: You are right, acolyte. Sister Embers: I do actually remember the ditch. Acolyte: See? I TOLD you you were there. Sister Embers: Yes, yes, it must have slipped away from me for a second. Gil: Dammit you guys, can we FOCUS instead of screwing around? Gil: I know that sounds insane coming out of my mouth, but seriously. Gil: This is actually something we NEED to do for once.
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Post by spinydoughnut33 on Dec 26, 2019 0:35:03 GMT
> Embers: Make an Appeal to Logic (the concept, not the god). It is what they are most familiar with.
> Gil: Make an Appeal to Authority. Not only do you have the Ethics Committee thing, you're also still the fucking Prince of Ferrana. The country they're about to excavate.
> Acolyte: Make an Appeal to Emotion. Even though the Numeralians are... weird, they're still people. Right?
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Post by Goofnerds on Dec 26, 2019 2:15:08 GMT
Gil> Ignore those goofnerds and find out where exactly the test is supposed to take place. Is it really away from habited places? Also, should they have a mining rights permit to do this in your country?
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Post by tailortf on Dec 31, 2019 7:57:20 GMT
==>
Alpha: Beginning laboratory area L-11-432 separation from primary power reserve. Alpha: ...separation completed. Beginning descent procedure. Beta: Affirmative.
==>
Beta: Descent in progress. Beta: 1800 meters...1200 meters...600 meters...
==>
Beta: Cruising altitude of 200 meters achieved. Descent procedure completed. Acolyte: Huh. It's somehow not as impressive the other way around.
==>
Alpha: Good. Alpha: Proceed with mining implement full scale model probe number 1. Alpha: I will be monitoring the necessary levels. Beta: Affirmative.
==>
Beta: Now approaching test site 1, colloquially known on the surface as “Sylvester’s Loss”.
==>
Acolyte: Huh. Why’s it called that, I wonder? Gil: Oh, THIS place. Gil: I think one of my ancestors went to war with another one of my ancestors over the rights to this piece of shit dirt field. Gil: It’s meant to have a ton of iron somewhere or something. Gil: The “loss” refers to the fact that although one side won, they all got so drunk in celebration they couldn’t actually remember where the field was and ended up not using it at all. Acolyte: Oh. So…how come I don’t see anybody? Acolyte: You’d think if this place is meant to have a ton of iron, people would want to dig it up. Gil: It’s an old legend, kid. Gil: Most people don’t tend to want to waste thousands of gil setting up mining equipment in the middle of nowhere based off a story your grandpa probably told you after one too many highballs. Acolyte: I guess. So…it’s uninhabited, then? Acolyte: So it’s fine if these guys test here? Alpha: Yes. Alpha: Our sites are meticulously picked. Gil: I mean, yeah, I GUESS, but no, no it’s not! Gil: If you find a bunch of money on the ground, would you pick it up just because nobody’s using it right now? Gil: …well, I guess I would since it’s kind of one of my jobs, but nobody ELSE is supposed to! Acolyte: Again, I feel like you’re a really bad pick for teaching ethics. Gil: Whatever! All I know is I’m gonna stand right here and watch for any funny stuff. Acolyte: Okay. I’m gonna go look out the windows some more. Gil: Yeah, you do that.
==>
Phi: Testing area approached. Preferred angle to area located. Phi: Sensors are reading high iron concentrations. Alpha: Correct. Activate the full scale prototype, beginning at 10% of maximum power, then increasing every 10 seconds. Phi: Confirmed. Beginning ray bombardment.
==>
Phi: Prototype gathering function confirmed. Material entering holding area. Alpha: Yes. Tau, please record quality and volume. Tau: Affirmative.
>Gil: Appeal to Authority. Shouldn't they have a mining permit to do this in your country?
Tau: Material received. Gathering purity probe. Gil: Unbelievable. This much iron is enough to build a house out of! Gil: ...or, like, at least 5 swords. I'm not good at estimations. Gil: The point is, this is garbage! Tau: Purity probe completed. Tau: Results saved to mission log. Gil: And another thing my brain brings up - permits! Gil: Do you guys have any kind of PERMIT to dig up any of this land that isn't yours?! Gil: I doubt it! Tau: We were assigned this surface contact duration by the Bureau of Surface Affairs, which answers directly to Founder Alpha. Tau: If you feel that any treaties were violated during this mission, please report this to them. They will provide you with a reply as soon as is possible. Gil: Ohh no. That crap might work with the kid or Embers, but not with me! Gil: I'm a PRINCE. My dad owns this land down there! The entire bitch! Gil: And I DEMAND that you return this iron to its' rightful owners!
==>
Tau: *sigh* Very well. I see this is the only way to cease this interruption of the mission. Gil: Hell yeah it is! Tau: We were going to dispose of it in any case. We do not have any metalworking equipment and we are not set up to transport 500 kilograms of molten iron. Tau: Phi? Phi: Present. I have received the information from the probe, incidentally. Good work. Tau: Yes, it is. Tau: Lower the prototype, please. I would like to test the return feature. Phi: Did we not agree that it is not really a feature? There really is no use for it. Phi: It is really more of a curious consequence of the way the beam works. Tau: Correct, it is useless. However, I feel we should test it nonetheless to be thorough. Gil: Ha! You see that, Embers? I just negotiated the release of half a ton of fine Ferranian iron! Sister Embers: I do not care. That is not your job. Sister Embers: Do your job. Gil: Yeah, I know, right? Go team! Phi: Material return ready. Phi: Lowering prototype, reversing polarity. Phi: Stand clear.
==>
==>
Tau: Test completed. Reverse system functioning as intended. Tau: Though I reiterate that I do not see any possible use for something like this.
==>
Phi: Prototype retracted. Proceeding to test site 2, estimated 2.4 minutes. Alpha: Negative. Test site 2 is currently experiencing adverse weather conditions. Test results would be sub-par. Alpha: I have uploaded coordinates for test site 2a to the mission log. Please proceed accordingly. Phi: Last week Beta and I did weather estimation on test site 2 and located no adverse conditions. Alpha: Are you challenging the logicality of my statements? Phi: Negative. Simply remarking on a point I do not currently understand. Alpha: I have done...independent research. Last night. Test site 2a is preferable for better mission results. Phi: Understood. Proceeding to new coordinates, estimate 3.6 minutes.
==>
Gil: God, they're exhausting. Gil: It's all bla bla, bla bla. Estimates this, affirmative that, coordinates this, logic that... Gil: How can anyone live like this and not go crazy? Gil: Or maybe they all HAVE. That'd explain a lot. Gil: At least you don't talk much. Gil: I'm starting to see what that blindfolded guy sees in this. Gil: Maybe I should just get a whole bunch of you guys. Gil: Replace Embers and the kid. Simplify my life. Gil: ...nah, probably not. They're pretty fun to be around. Gil: Though if you tell them I said that, I'm gonna grind you to little choking hazard-sized pieces. Gil: Don't test me, I've come up against golems before. Gil: ...where are those two, anyhow?
==>
Acolyte: Oh wow, this is great! Acolyte: The last few times we were too busy panicking to see anything, but if you get the time to look, it’s so cool! Acolyte: You can see so far away! Sister Embers: Mmm. Sister Embers: I believe we are in the Central Rust Basin, near the nation’s capital. Sister Embers: …not that I feel a particular interest in the subject. Merely incidental information. Other states are none of our concern. Acolyte: Man, if we ever finish what we’re doing here, we should ask Founder Alpha if he can spare one of these flying things for the cult! Acolyte: It’d be super useful in getting around and, y’know, we’d have a place to live. Sister Embers: Hmm. No. Sister Embers: Unfortunately, Lord Argaleth does not enforce a strict ascetic lifestyle. Sister Embers: However, I do. Sister Embers: Although I will admit that it is quite liberating to feel the wind in one's hair. Acolyte: Right?
==>
Acolyte: And everything on the ground looks so tiny, too! Acolyte: Like the trees! Acolyte: And the- wait, is that…?
==>
Gil: A CART! Gil: AHA! Gil: And don’t try to deny it! Don’t try to blame it on some trick of the light or scryer malfunction! The kid and Embers saw it with their very eyes! Acolyte: It did look very, very much like a cart with some people on it. And maybe in it. Sister Embers: Indeed. You may trust us on these matters. We are well acquainted with cart riding.
>Embers: Appeal to Logic (the concept, not the god).
Alpha: I do not consider this relevant to the mission. No further course corrections will be made. Gil: Not relevant to the- it's ABSOLUTELY relevant to the mission! Gil: You lied about the whole thing! I heard you! You said this was a better place to test! Alpha: Numeralians do not lie. There is no need. Alpha: Test site 2 is genuinely experiencing weather conditions that would create a margin of error in the tests. Phi and Beta did not consider all the necessary variables while calculating the weather last week. Alpha: In addition, this particular area is much more dense with various metals which are left here by vehicles and people travelling the road. It is a better environment for the test. Gil: Yeah, let's get back to that word: PEOPLE! Gil: Have you heard NOTHING of what we talked about yesterday?! Value of human life?! Any of that shit?! Or do you just not care AT ALL?! Sister Embers: I am...not quite as passionate as the thief on this subject- Gil: Oh yeah, I guess HUMAN LIVES are just something where we should TONE IT DOWN a bit, huh?! Sister Embers: -but I do feel that perhaps you should reconsider this course of action. Sister Embers: If you have not heard some of the things that were discussed yesterday, we could repeat them once more. Sister Embers: Logically speaking, this is simply not the best-
==>
Alpha: NO!! Alpha: YOU are not in a position to discuss matters of Logic with me. Alpha: Seeing as you yourself are under the presumption that my actions are the result of a simple lack of information. Alpha: I have heard every word you said and absorbed them into my mind. Alpha: But unlike my colleagues, I refuse to alter my projects according to surface interests over a minor setback. Alpha: It took me all night, but I have calculated a correct solution to this issue. Alpha: The vehicle currently designated in the center of test area 2a is a prison cart. Alpha: It is full of what people on the surface call "death row convicts". Alpha: People who have committed a serious enough infraction that society can no longer accept their very existence. Alpha: Although I am not certain what kind of individuals would be versed enough in the rules of society to do such a thing. Alpha: Perhaps some variety of scholar or professor of sociology.
==>
Prisoner 1: Hey! Hey everyone, look at me! I’m Frank! Prisoner 1: “Ehhh, you gotta make peace while there’s still time! You gotta be all goody-goody even though you’re fuckin’ locked up in a cramped carriage with like twenty other dudes! Wehhh!” Prisoner 2: Dammit, Steve, give that back! I need it for the execution! Prisoner 1: What, so you can get into Heaven? Prisoner 1: I’m pretty sure not even your stupid religion forgives a double homicide. Prisoner 2: That’s not what it’s for! It’s for the crowd! Prisoner 2: You know, they see me die, and they go “wow, there was a real follower of Truth, all the way to the very end” and remember me in, like, a positive light. Prisoner 1: Wow, that is even more pathetic than I imagined. Prisoner 1: I’m sure they’ll do just that once they read off your crimes, Mr. Come-Crying-To-The-Cops. Prisoner 2: I thought they’d give me a better deal! Prisoner 1: You bitched out, man. That’s a total bitch move. Prisoner 1: Hey, maybe that can be your final confession! Prisoner 1: You like truth and shit. Prisoner 1: “Forgive me, father, for I am a total little bitch. I never told anyone, not even my wife.” Prisoner 2: Man, fuck you, Steve. Prisoner 2: Why the hell are you so chipper, anyway? You’re dying like the rest of us. Prisoner 1: Oh, no way, not me, man. Prisoner 1: The Steveman can’t be killed. Cannot. Be. Killed. Prisoner 1: I’m bustin’ out. Dashing rogue styles.
==>
Prisoner 2: Oh! Oh! You guys hear that?! Steve just said he’s gonna try and bust out! Guard: God, will you two shut the hell up? Guard: Steve’s been saying that for weeks, he’s in denial. Prisoner 1: Am not. Guard: If he had the balls to do anything, he’da done it before the day of the actual execution. Prisoner 1: What, and miss out on how dramatic busting out right now would be? Guard: Just…just stop talking. We’re almost there anyway.
==>
Alpha: These men are en route to your nation's capital. Alpha: They will be executed in approximately 1.3 hours. Alpha: Your society has rejected them entirely and their probability of redemption is mathematically infinitesimal! Alpha: Thus, their lives are devoid of value in your proposed system! Alpha: Thus, either your theory does not apply to them or else it is logically inconsistent! Alpha: Either way, the test will continue as ordered! Gil: ...you've lost it, haven't you? Gil: I can see it in your eyes, stupid as that sounds. Gil: Yeah, I get it. Gil: This isn't about the mission to you anymore. Gil: You're just doing this to get back at us. Gil: How very surface of you. No offense. Alpha: ...I have no time to counter your paranoid fantasies. Alpha: I have a mission to run. Alpha: Now please refrain from any further interruptions or I will have to request you spend the rest of the mission in the cargo bay.
>Acolyte: Appeal to Emotion.
Acolyte: Are you guys really just gonna sit around and let him do this? Acolyte: It was theoretical when we talked about it yesterday, sure, but these are real people! Acolyte: Just like you! Acolyte: Do you really want to hurt them just to keep "the mission" going? Beta: During a mission, responsibility over any results or outcomes of said mission are attributed to the team leader, currently Alpha-3-26-2308. Beta: Please direct any and all questions concerning the mission towards the aforementioned individual. Acolyte: But...but this is...wrong! Acolyte: Can't you see that?! Beta: It is logically consistent with the information received yesterday. Beta: If you feel that this mission has been morally or ethically compromised, please report this infraction to the Numeralian Ethics Committee. Beta: They will provide you with a reply as soon as is possible. Gil: So...ourselves. We're meant to report this to ourselves. Gil: Great, I'm sure we'll do a fantastic job! Gil: God damn it, god DAMN IT. Gil: How can you people be so smart and so STUPID at the same time?!
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