immemorAugur
Bravesprout
"I'm a Wizard, Lizard, and about to cast a Blizzard." -My level 109 Argonian mage
Posts: 88
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Post by immemorAugur on Feb 8, 2017 16:15:13 GMT
A nondescript person of the working class stands in their nondescript room, filled with nondescript furniture of bland colouration. The only things atypical to this person's room is the full collection of SANCTIONED WORKS OF LITERATURE, proofread, edited, and approved of by the UNION OF THE POPULACE, these include, and are limited to, the UOTP manuscript, ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITES, the REFINED RATION COOK BOOK, which makes MIGHTY FINE NIGHTTIME READING, and a FARMERS ALMANAC, you think that page 93 was rather uneventful, but the action quickly picked up pace around 109.
Today is no day of import, you will go to your UOTP sanctioned job sifting through UOTP data, provided by said UOTP after completing your UOTP sanctioned education, taught by UOTP sanctioned teachers, teaching only UOTP sanctioned subjects. It is simply wonderful! You couldn't possibly imagine a world without the UOTP, why, you wouldn't want to even if you could! Not only would that be VERY DEPRESSING, it is also ILLEGAL. You absolutely ADORE the UOTP, like your undisclosed genetic ancestors before you, and their undisclosed genetic ancestors before them.
You seem to have not printed your ID onto your shirt yet. This is one of your favourite parts of the day. You're still a tab bit groggy from waking up though, so you don't quite remember what your ID is. What number do you print on your shirt? |
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KittenCollector
Nipper Cadet
Sinful and Loathing It
Posts: 75
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by KittenCollector on Feb 8, 2017 18:44:53 GMT
> 42069
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Post by Sharkalien on Feb 8, 2017 20:12:24 GMT
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NothingIsOkay75
Planet Healer
Homestuck 2? More like Homestuck POO amirite? Please bring back this forum
Posts: 324
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NothingIsOkay75 on Feb 9, 2017 0:48:38 GMT
>613412
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immemorAugur
Bravesprout
"I'm a Wizard, Lizard, and about to cast a Blizzard." -My level 109 Argonian mage
Posts: 88
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Post by immemorAugur on Feb 9, 2017 7:19:46 GMT
 Ah, yes. Your IDENTIFICATION NUMBER, a good number, number FORTY TWO THOUSAND, SIXTY NINE, crisply printed onto your shirt. It's still quite warm. 42,069, a number that, other than being unique to you, has ABSOLUTELY NO MEANING WHATSOEVER. You think however, if there were a meaning to this wonderful number, it would likely be a symbol of LOYALTY and TRUST, and only represent RIGHTEOUS MORALS, because you are a HUGE LOYALIST to the UOTP. Now that you've been named, err, IDENTIFIED, what will you do in the time remaining before work? |
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Post by pearshaped559 on Feb 9, 2017 19:43:11 GMT
Inspect the bedside drawer
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KittenCollector
Nipper Cadet
Sinful and Loathing It
Posts: 75
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by KittenCollector on Feb 10, 2017 18:37:11 GMT
> Say, you seem to have something on the side of your head. Is that, like, a robotic ear?
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immemorAugur
Bravesprout
"I'm a Wizard, Lizard, and about to cast a Blizzard." -My level 109 Argonian mage
Posts: 88
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Post by immemorAugur on Feb 11, 2017 1:39:52 GMT
> Say, you seem to have something on the side of your head. Is that, like, a robotic ear? Robotic ear? Oh, do you mean your thought crime regulator? This has been on your head for as long as you can remember, and the same is true of everyone. At age three, the device is implanted, but it isn't activated until adolescence. You remember when your first friend vanished. A one C-5698. He had mentioned the previous day having been thinking of thought crimes to test the device. A decent enough person, but as he was a criminal, he was never truly a friend, and he will not be missed. Inspect the bedside drawer  Hmm. The first drawer doesn't seem to have much other than unprinted shirts like the one you were wearing not too long ago. Everyone is issued a set of unprinted shirts at the start of every week after going through the wash, where the temporary ink is removed and the shirts redistributed. You would say the system is needlessly complicated, but you rather like putting your number on your shirt every morning. Also thinking that might be illegal. You aren't sure. Let's try the next one then.  In this draw resides more unprinted shirts, along with your most prized possession, a stuffed cat you used to sleep with every night. Ah, the fond memories of childhood. He's the closest thing you have to family, really, and is the only toy you've kept with you through adulthood for it's sentimental value. You are actually rather hardpressed to remember a time in which this silly little kitty wasn't somewhere close by. Beside it is a pen you use to fill out paperwork at your job, a pen that was gifted too you upon graduating from your education by the old head of the committee for excellence in eyes of the union. That was back when there was a committee. It's a nice pen, too. It writes really well, and the ink cartridge has lasted a suspiciously long time, but hey, that's not a complaint, it has heft, but isn't a dumbbell, so it rests nicely in the hand. Reflecting on the contents of your room, it's rather bare, but you're content to be without. |
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KittenCollector
Nipper Cadet
Sinful and Loathing It
Posts: 75
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by KittenCollector on Feb 11, 2017 3:06:16 GMT
> Take the work pen, for work. Consider being accompanied by the fine, friendly fake feline too, if that's not horribly illegal.
> Does the machine that printed your number have any other functions? It seems to have an opening to a pneumatic tube.
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Post by Bananananas on Feb 11, 2017 8:45:24 GMT
> Stare into the purple/blue camera on the machine
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Post by Sharkalien on Feb 12, 2017 17:32:56 GMT
>Skim through blue book on bed
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Post by Curris on Feb 12, 2017 20:27:59 GMT
Consider the nature of your work. Are you good at it? Who taught you about sifting through UOTP data?
Maybe, just to feel nice, print your ID on your shirt twice. . . Won't that feel twice as good?
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immemorAugur
Bravesprout
"I'm a Wizard, Lizard, and about to cast a Blizzard." -My level 109 Argonian mage
Posts: 88
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Post by immemorAugur on Feb 13, 2017 7:51:17 GMT
> Take the work pen, for work. Consider being accompanied by the fine, friendly fake feline too, if that's not horribly illegal. Consider the nature of your work. Are you good at it? Who taught you about sifting through UOTP data? Maybe, just to feel nice, print your ID on your shirt twice. . . Won't that feel twice as good?  You take the pen and your fuzzy friend, and fail to understand why anyone would think something so innocent could be illegal.
You consider how you came to be in your profession.
Why, the same way as everyone else, obviously.
All children receive the same education for a certain period of time, learning the basics of math, science, how to read and write, etc.
After the children's initial education is completed, they are all evaluated to determine which career they will most efficiently preform. They are then sent to apprentice under people in the workforce currently occupying those positions, and will stay under their guides until he or she demonstrates their proficiency adequately.
If memory serves you right, you apprenticed under a one C#78903, he was very good at his job, and you are proud to call yourself his student.
As for printing a second ID number, you would advise against it.
Not only would you not be able to, it would be illegal, and the police wouldn't be able to identify you.
You do not want that.
By The Truly Holy One, not even a little. > Does the machine that printed your number have any other functions? It seems to have an opening to a pneumatic tube. > Stare into the purple/blue camera on the machine  This machine has several functions, one of which, as we have already seen, is the printing of numbers onto blank citizen shirts. It is also responsible for playing the morning announcements and delivering mail, as well as transporting food from the factories to your home. Under rare but not unheard of circumstances, the purple button is pressed to put you in contact with a police officer that will help with any true emergency you might have. Oh? What's this? The morning announcements are about to start. ANNOUNCER: Good morning, citizens. Today is March 20th, in the year of The Divine, 7869, hope you are all having a wonderful morning.
ANNOUNCER: Weather today is a nice 20 degrees celsius, winds are nonexistent, and clouds will not be seen.
ANNOUNCER: It is with great sadness that I must inform you of another attack. The PATP, or People Against The Party has struck a church of the Holy One yesterday at 13:42, killing thirty five worshipers and two priests, while wounding seven others. It is unknown how the terrorists were able to obtain such destructive weaponry, or how we are still unaware of their identities, so please, if you or anyone you know has information on these terrorists, press that button, don't let them hurt anyone else.
ANNOUNCER: In lighter news, we would like to congratulate Citizen 98687 on reaching the two hundred year milestone, and say to her and her friends, keep living faithfully to the union.
ANNOUNCER: Remember All, to attend the graduation ceremony of the new generation! After all, you're the ones who are going to be training these youngsters, so you should be there when they're assigned their professions, because you could be their teacher.
ANNOUNCER: And finally, don't take 67th street today, construction efforts are underway to erect a statue in reverence to The Divine, and heavy machinery is blocking the pass.
ANNOUNCER: That's it for this morning's announcements, have a good day at your respective careers, and remember, always have faith in the Union. Augh! These terrorist folk make you so angry. You just want them to see how wonderful The Party is, but it is as if hey are blind to how they are doing good! Huh? The machine is making another noise.  Oh, it's breakfast. You aren't terribly hungry though. >Skim through blue book on bed  This book? It's the Manuscript of the ruling party. It also doubles as a history book and religious text.  Ah. Right. This is the historical portion. It details how humanity was punished for it's political crimes by being visited with viruses deadly enough to melt flesh off of one's bones. It was deployed in such great mass that it was capable of forming weather systems that took out whole cities in mere minutes. The disease was dispersed in these canisters, the symbol upon them is one of death, and is a mark of a sinner against The Divine. It's still out there, raging away. Winds of several hundred miles an hour carrying the deadly toxin on it's back, ready for any chance it might have to claim another living creature as it's victim. But there is nothing out there. This city is the last bastion of civilization, and there are people insane enough to try and tear it down.  You inventory the book for another read through at work, for when the job gets slow going. |
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Post by Sharkalien on Feb 13, 2017 8:02:56 GMT
>Time to go to work
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frigg
Juvesquirt
Posts: 12
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Post by frigg on Feb 13, 2017 8:10:54 GMT
C-42069: CONSUME HEARTY MORNING SUSTENANCE, THEN PROCEED TO BE DETAINED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS FOR YOUR INVOLVEMENT IN TERRORIST ACTIVITIES
(Preferably, these two events will overlap each other for full dramatic/comedic effect)
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KittenCollector
Nipper Cadet
Sinful and Loathing It
Posts: 75
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by KittenCollector on Feb 13, 2017 20:39:27 GMT
> You appear to have something on your wrist. Better spend a few more precious minutes ensuring you recognize it and its functions before heading off for work.
> While you're at it, got anything else worth noting about your person? Ankle bracelet? GPS implant? Artificial kidney?
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Post by Mister Torchwick on Feb 14, 2017 6:25:44 GMT
> Examine green book on desk.
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Post by Curris on Feb 14, 2017 15:03:30 GMT
On the way to work, see if you can get near 67th street. Obviously you can use it, but it would be neat to see the Statue of the Divine.
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Post by nighttime_madness on Feb 17, 2017 1:02:29 GMT
> Head to work. Observe the glory of The Divine all around you!
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immemorAugur
Bravesprout
"I'm a Wizard, Lizard, and about to cast a Blizzard." -My level 109 Argonian mage
Posts: 88
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Post by immemorAugur on Feb 21, 2017 5:58:47 GMT
C-42069: CONSUME HEARTY MORNING SUSTENANCE, THEN PROCEED TO BE DETAINED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS FOR YOUR INVOLVEMENT IN TERRORIST ACTIVITIES (Preferably, these two events will overlap each other for full dramatic/comedic effect)  Food sure, you'll eat your morning meal, but no way would you ever get arrested, that's just absurd. After all, why would a loyal citizen like you, who's never thought a single bad thing against the party, be arrested for something like terrorism? Let's see, what do we have here. Ah. A normal meal of hardboiled eggs and bacon, paired with a box of orange juice. Delicious. > Examine green book on desk.  Ah, your current edition of the farmer's almanac. Flipping it open to a random page, you get the catalogue of moon phases and dates. These are all old. You'd find the phase of the current day, but that might take a bit, and you're already pushing it with the clock here, and you need to head to work. You put the almanac back onto the dresser and carry on your way.
> Head to work. Observe the glory of The Divine all around you!
 Time to get going then.  You step out into the hallway. You don't see anyone, though for how late you decided to come out that isn't abnormal. Most people are probably on their way down the elevator already.  And with how high up you are you're going to be waiting a while for the elevators. Oh well. It's a nice view, you think. Quite calming.  This city is your home.
It is perfect in every way you can imagine.
Nothing could ever make you want to leave.
These towers remind you that without unity, you would have nothing.
The Party has made their mark upon this land, and it is a mark of peace and prosperity, unity and co-operation.
There is nothing you would not do to keep the city and its people happy and productive.
Today is a day of no import.
But you will love every minute of it nonetheless.
On the way to work, see if you can get near 67th street. Obviously you can use it, but it would be neat to see the Statue of the Divine.  Funny you should say that, as the filing offices are on 67th street. You make your way down to 65th street on the bus after you finally get an elevator, and walk to rest of the way to your building. ... Wow. Its graciousness is not even completed, and already you are in awe of its magnitudinous glory. It makes you feel so... Small. You must return later when it is finished. Not like you have much choice, it's right outside your workplace. You aren't complaining however, you think this is an amazing addition to the area.  Ah, the workplace. You've been working here since you turned sixteen. You think you're in your twenties? You can't be sure, you never cared all too much once you got out of your apprenticeship. Eh, the details certainly aren't important, you head on in, and walk up to your office.  Oooh! Paperwork! Draining for some, but invigorating for you personally. The satisfaction from completing a giant stack of paperwork and having it all placed neatly into the "out" boxes is one of the best things in life. Best get to it, though, you've kind of got a late start. |
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Post by Curris on Feb 21, 2017 7:30:07 GMT
Step 1 : Read all the directions carefully.
Step 2 : Find the most Interesting piece of paperwork, put that aside as your "reward" for finishing the less interesting ones.
Step 3 : Consider completing your administrivia to the tune of some wild beats. Perhaps something tropical, and calypso/reggaeton?
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Post by mistertorchwick on Feb 21, 2017 15:37:03 GMT
>I concur with Curris's "Reward" strategy.
>Reflect on nature of paperwork and friends at work.
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Post by Sharkalien on Feb 21, 2017 19:21:52 GMT
>Make a paper airplane
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Post by Con Air on Feb 23, 2017 2:14:20 GMT
<Exposit more on acid virus.
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immemorAugur
Bravesprout
"I'm a Wizard, Lizard, and about to cast a Blizzard." -My level 109 Argonian mage
Posts: 88
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Post by immemorAugur on Mar 9, 2017 8:42:05 GMT
Step 1 : Read all the directions carefully. Step 2 : Find the most Interesting piece of paperwork, put that aside as your "reward" for finishing the less interesting ones. Step 3 : Consider completing your administrivia to the tune of some wild beats. Perhaps something tropical, and calypso/reggaeton?  The directions? Why? They're the same every day. Review, fill out, label, and sign where appropriate, until the stack is complete. If the stack is completed before work hours are completed, you may request a second stack for completion. Typically, the information you receive is related to the data put into the annual edition of the farmer's almanac, though you will occasionally be given anything from construction paperwork to residency request forms. There are very few things you don't hear about through paperwork before the news. But really, anything that only needs low level approval, things that are requested by normal citizens and data compiled by low level government positions, goes through you or your colleagues. Now, for today's most interesting piece, let's see here... ah, here we go! Statistics on the frequency of Biological storms around the city walls. Well, shoot. They seem to be rising in frequency of occurrence. Oh well, not every day is a goldmine of intrigue. Though this might be making up for last thursday's really strange events. On thursday of last week, you were accidentally given a form requesting several dozen pounds of something called Trinitrotoluene. You've no idea what it is, but it was going to a very high level government organization, the Public Administration of Trust Provision, in charge of maintaining citizen morale. It was above your level of requisition granting, but you were able to refile it with the right people. Still, misfiles are rare, and it's quite the kerfuffle when one is discovered to find the source of confusion.  Now, as for those tunes, you aren't sure what exactly sure what you'd call tropical, but you know the wildest song on the Approved Tracklist! You press the button to connect to an operator, you've got a musical emergency!
OPERATOR: Hello, this is the operator speaking, how may I be able to assist you?
C#42069: Yes, hello, might I request a song to be played in my office?
OPERATOR: Of course, sir, what track would you like to select?
C#42069: Can I get the wildest track on there?
C#42069: Fast paced and gets you going, that one.
The operator proceeds to load up the sickest music you've ever heard. It's so sick. You're gonna have to sit down again.  While you enjoy the antics of your younger years, perhaps making paper gliders out of sensitive documentation would be ill advised enough based solely on the sound of it, but that precludes the fact that seems most probably illegal, and that going through with that though will likely result in an inquiry into your practices in the office. You don't want that, not even a little.
<Exposit more on acid virus.  After an hour or so, you manage to complete a respectable stack for your Out pile, and you decide to take a short break to refresh your memory of ancient history. The storms of The One True God's vengeful wrath are biological, as far as the UOTP scientists know, and once they hijack your cells to reproduce, they begin to secrete an enzyme that dissolves the flesh of the victim so that it might feast on the proteins garnered from the process. At first, it begins with hemorrhaging and internal bleeding, and ends with the gruesome sloughing of one's muscles and skin right off the bones. Nothing pretty. The reason for it's dispersal? As far as the priests can garner from the weave of the world, the people of the Old World were so angry and filled with such hate, that the One cast down his tears and marked them for the sinners, and those few that survived were pure, and allowed to live in peace in the metal shell of the city. The fall of the Old World always fascinated you, not only because this utopia couldn't exist if the oppressive old world hadn't shed it's mortal coil and set the stage for the UOTP to gain power. But you do wonder sometimes, how terrible to world might be if there was no UOTP, and if anyone could be alive at all, and what of those poor people, trapped in a hellish wasteland of death? Those poor people would never stand a chance...  You are now a not-so-poor person who stands a fair chance. What is your name? |
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