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Post by artstuck on May 4, 2016 23:55:26 GMT
>Shove face through wrapping paper. Woah, take a chill pill, my main man! You need to chillax, take life at one step at a time. Everything's gonna be alright, y'know? Don't go ripping off that wrapping paper in a hurry. Untie the bow, take your time with it. Peel the edges of the paper off one by one. No need to go haywire with it just yet. Besides, the present that lies inside the box is extremely fragile. You don't want to break it. You feel me? You take one look at the contents inside and freeze at the sight of its dope contents.
BB: Buster you've outdone yourself. AR: haha you finally got your present! awesome AR: what do you think? BB: I have no idea what to think about anything any more. BB: There are no words for how I am currently feeling. AR: yeah i know its a really great present isnt it BB: I don't wish to be rude, Buster. AR: okay BB: You are my greatest, dearest, closest friend after all. AR: okay BB: You must have presumably put a great deal of thought and effort into this gift. AR: yeah thats right AR: so you like it? BB: No. AR: oh AR: okay BB: Why is it so dusty? AR: ah thats because its the first one that was ever made! AR: or at least it was part of the first ever batch AR: so its extremely special AR: it must be worth a small fortune! BB: I am one hundred percent certain it isn't. AR: well i paid a small fortune in order to get it BB: You shouldn't have. BB: I mean, you really should not have bought this thing. BB: Nobody should have bought this thing. BB: I thought the Brain's present was bad, but this just makes his present look like an art piece. AR: oh dont be like that its a great present! AR: im sure youll find some use for it BB: No, I will not. BB: The day it becomes of any use to me will be the same day that the human race discover a method to manipulate time. BB: Every year we go through this. BB: Every year I go through the whole rigmarole of ruminating over what the perfect birthday present for you would be. BB: I make a list of each and every item I believe you'll love, and then pick the best one. BB: Then every year you just decide on the first random object that pops into your head. BB: You have never picked me a present you've genuinely believed that I would like, have you? AR: i thought you might have found it funny. BB: It's hysterical. BB: If you couldn't tell, I used italics to illustrate the fact that I was being sarcastic. AR: yeah i got that AR: well if youre gonna be super ungrateful about it then im gonna go BB: Good. You do that. AR: fine BB: Fine! AR: fine *arthurRead has stopped chatting to you*
No way, Jose! That was a totally uncool and uncalled for reaction to his kickass present. You just lost one gentleman point, and gained a one-way ticket to the city of Guiltsville.
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Post by Sharkalien on May 5, 2016 0:02:46 GMT
>What was the present anyway?
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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ARTSTUCK
May 5, 2016 0:35:28 GMT
via mobile
Post by randomwriter on May 5, 2016 0:35:28 GMT
>Sell present to some fool/give the present to Binky or someone else.
>Or give it to someone who'd like it. Be the better friend.
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on May 5, 2016 1:59:45 GMT
>Buster's such as barney. Pester some COOL DUDES
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Post by artstuck on May 7, 2016 11:35:29 GMT
>Buster's such as barney. Pester some COOL DUDES Would you settle for a cool dudette?
BB: I fear I may have committed the most heinous of crimes. SC: yo wassup? BB: I might have been the teensiest bit ungrateful towards my best friend, as well as being rather rude and harsh towards him. SC: omg what did you do, art? BB: I lost my temper with him a little bit, as I was extremely dissatisfied with the present he had delivered to my house. BB: Even typing it out fills me with a gigantic ball of shame and remorse. BB: How could I have been so callous? SC; yeah that does sound pretty shitty on your part. SC: what did he get you? BB: Well... BB: I mean, the thought was there, clearly, but... BB: Well, even then, I have my doubts... BB: I just don't feel appreciated sometimes, you know? BB: Sometimes I just feel like he takes me for granted, and whilst I'm always there to support him and help him, I never get the same impression that he'd be willing to do the same for me. BB: Perhaps I'm just thinking too deeply about it, or I'm expecting too much of others. BB: It's just that this occasion appears to me to be the tiny straw that broke the back of an extremely burdened camel. SC: art pls don't keep me in suspense like this. SC: just tell me what he got you already. BB: A Dorito™. SC: what, you mean like a bag of them? SC: well that's not so bad. SC: i mean it's not the most amazing present in the world, but it could have been a lot worse. SC: i certainly wouldn't mind being given a bag of Doritos™ for my birthday, i think you're just being a little bit spoilt here, no offence. SC: i think you need to apologize to him immediately before this whole thing gets out of hand. BB: No, no, I think you're misunderstanding me here. BB: I did not say Dorito™ plural. SC: i SC: hang on one second. SC: hang on one fucking second here. SC: do you mean to tell me SC: do you mean to tell me that for your birthday SC: your best friend SC: your oldest friend in the world SC: buster baxter SC: for your birthday SC: decided to give you SC: one SC: single SC: Dorito™? BB: That is exactly what I am telling you. BB: It's not even a very big Dorito™. BB: Or has the shape of a deceased president's head. BB: That, at least, would have been something noteworthy. SC: ... SC: ... SC: yeah you were totally justified in getting mad at him. SC: even i'm mad at him. SC: what the actual fuck. SC: art you have literally no need to feel guilty about this. SC: holy shit. SC: what an asshole.
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Post by Sharkalien on May 7, 2016 19:58:38 GMT
>At least it was one of the the very first Doritos™ ever manufactured
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Post by artstuck on May 7, 2016 21:08:32 GMT
>At least it was one of the the very first Doritos™ ever manufactured
SC: wait a minute. SC: i've heard about buster's so-called 'food cabinet' before. SC: you know, the one where he just leaves food to rot in for years? SC: it wouldn't happen to be from there, would it? BB: You know what? I'd hazard a guess that that's exactly where it's from. BB: Apparently it's one of the first Doritos™ to have ever been manufactured. SC: wait let me check wikipedia. SC: okay so SC: apparently they've been manufactured since 1964. SC: that is 52 years ago. SC: wow that is disturbing. SC: how has it not rotted away into dust by now? SC: whatever you do, do not eat that thing. SC: in fact don't even touch it. BB: 52 years. BB: I'm also on Wikipedia. BB: Apparently that's the same year Nicolas Cage was born. BB: I cannot believe I am in possession of a tortilla chip that is as old as Nic Cage. SC: so the first ever Doritos™ were made in Disneyland from actual leftover tortillas SC: and i'm guessing your chip was one of them SC: if buster is to be believed. BB: Yes, there's always the possibility that >get chip I don't understand what you mean, bro! >ITS RIGHT THERE ON THE FUCKIN SCREEN >GRAB IT >TOUCH IT WITH YOUR FUCKIN FINGERS >GET >CHIP I don't understand what you mean, bro! >I SWEAR >#i really dont have time for this >#ill deal with this later >#no i wont i want results now >PICK UP ITEM ON SCREEN I don't understand what you mean, bro! >ARE YOU BLIND >ARE YOU DENSE >PROCESS MY COMMANDS >LIKE THE ROBOTIC CALCULATOR YOU ARE >PICK UP BUSTERS PRESENT I don't know who 'BUSTERS' is, bro! >ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH >#im not mad i swear >#im just havin a really bad day >#let me work out how to do this >continue conversation with stevenCrueniverse BB: Yes, there's always the possibility that he was wrong about it. BB: Or perhaps someone duped him into buying it under false pretences. BB: Maybe this Dorito™ is only about a week old. SC: i still wouldnt eat it BB: That is the fundamental difference between Buster and the entire planet. SC: i heard he ate a shoe once BB: He did, I saw it happen! SC: what. BB: To be fair to him, he did deep fry it first. SC: what. BB: Apparently it tasted like sweaty jerky. BB: Obviously he threw up not long afterwards. BB: I believe his mother had to rush back from work and drive him to the hospital to have his stomach pumped. BB: Didn't stop him from attempting the same stunt with the other shoe, though. SC: who eats a shoe? BB: Who eats both?
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Post by Sharkalien on May 7, 2016 21:17:54 GMT
>Pick up the Dorito for a closer inspection
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Post by artstuck on May 7, 2016 21:40:16 GMT
>Pick up the Dorito for a closer inspection You pick up the Dorito™ >#WHAT and you give it a twirl between your bitchin' fingers. Man, look at how incredi-tastic this thing is! It's deffo one of the greatest snacks of all time, if not the greatest! Some say the flavor is out of this world... >#get out You place the chip >WHAT back into the box >NO >UM EXCUSE ME >PICK DORITO BACK UP PLS I don't understand what you mean, bro! >LYIN PIECE OF SHIT >YOU KNOW EXACTLY DAMN WELL WHAT I MEAN >PICK IT UP Pick what up? >THE THING YOU JUST PUT DOWN I don't under >DICK
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Post by Sharkalien on May 7, 2016 22:31:48 GMT
>Rabbit exile person dude: What's so special about this Dorito?
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Post by artstuck on May 7, 2016 22:50:35 GMT
>Rabbit exile person dude: What's so special about this Dorito? >#okay >#first of all >#rabbit exile person dude? >#just because i dont have a name it dont mean you cant get creative >#sheesh >#if you want to call me anything then call me bully >#cos thats what i am >#secondly >#there is nothin special about this dorito >#it has no magical properties >#its not a deus ex machina or anythin >#theres no conspiracy goin on here i assure you >#but i still need it >#or at least i need a dorito >#and this one just happens to be at hand >#and you would think >#that gettin my grubby mitts on it wouldnt be too difficult now would you >#BUT NO
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Post by Sharkalien on May 7, 2016 23:36:33 GMT
>Okay, you tough customer you, I'll bite. WHY do you need a Dorito
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on May 8, 2016 1:03:17 GMT
>Arthur: Eat the Dorito.
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Post by artstuck on May 8, 2016 21:38:29 GMT
>Okay, you tough customer you, I'll bite. WHY do you need a Dorito >#now that would be telling now wouldnt it >#hahaha To forget about your troubles, you decide to message another cool dudette. Let's hope her present will be up to scratch, yo!
*You started chatting to intellectualProperty* BB: Sue-Ellen, are you there? IP: Ahoy-hoy! BB: Ah, excellent. I am in dire need of your assistance. BB: You see, the Brain is currently recruiting a small army of minions in order to wage war against me in an online battle of wits and glamour. BB: My question to you is: will you stand by my side, and aid me in my time of need? IP: Hmm that depends IP: Are you ready to admit you're wrong yet? BB: Wrong about what? IP: You know exactly what I mean IP: Admit you were wrong, and I'll gladly join your team BB: Sue-Ellen, I don't think I... BB: ...oh. BB: Oh, Sue-Ellen, really? BB: Is this how low you're willing to stoop in order to ascertain dominance in our disagreement? BB: To resort to petty blackmail is a despicable crime, you know. IP: Say it BB: Sue-Ellen I am begging you please don't do this. BB: If you wish for me to change my opinion, then at least use logic and reason to persuade me to agree with you. BB: Don't muddy your conscience with such dreadful tactics. IP: I'm sure I could get Brain to say it, if I offered to join his team... BB: ... BB: Bionic Bunny and Dark Bunny are involved romantically. BB: Despite there being zero evidence canonically for this, there can be no doubt that the pair of them throughout their respective series are regularly entangled in the act of fornication. BB: This is also despite the fact that the pair of them have on multiple occasions been implied to be siblings. BB: There, I said it. Are you happy now? IP: OTP! IP: Yeah, I'm very happy! I'll join your team BB: Sue-Ellen one day you need to realise that there is more to life than the trivialities of shipping. IP: Haha maybe
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Post by Sharkalien on May 9, 2016 0:40:35 GMT
>Present time, gimme gimme
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Post by Neptz on May 9, 2016 1:06:53 GMT
>Convince yourself that Bionc and Dark aren't a thing.
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on May 9, 2016 2:12:12 GMT
>Arthur: Have an inexplicable crush on Sue-Ellen
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Post by artstuck on May 9, 2016 20:17:26 GMT
>Arthur: Have an inexplicable crush on Sue-Ellen YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Man checkit homeboy got the craving for some feline action! Man you better get your head in the game if you wanna hook up with this fine female specimen! She gots summat dat nobody else in Elwood City has... DAT ASS FAT M8. >Convince yourself that Bionc and Dark aren't a thing. >#okay well you see >#sue ellen actually kinda has a point here >#like i do kinda get where shes comin from >#they have really good chemistry for a start >#one of thems this uber helpful friendly guy >#he thinks the best of everyone >#hes so sweet and charmin and everyone loves him >#and then you got good old DB >#hes dark and broodin and theyve kinda lost themselves in the darkness a little bit >#but then bionic comes along >#he shows him a little bit of friendliness and kindness and draws him in >#and >#and its just magic >#pure motherfuckin magic in this bitch >#who gives a shit if theyre related >#bunnies fuck their siblings >#thats just what bunnies do >#deal with it
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Post by artstuck on May 9, 2016 20:26:52 GMT
>Present time, gimme gimme
IP: So you probably want to know what your present is, right? IP: I'm pretty sure you must be dying to know! BB: Oh, Sue Ellen, you know me far too well! BB: I await with baited breath what I should expect to be receiving today. IP: Well it's actually a joint present from me and Fern IP: But it's sooooooo good that it's good as two presents anyway IP; It's a book BB: Well that's already better than two thirds of the gifts I'm receiving today, so that's a start. IP: Haha I knew that would thrill you! IP: Actually it's not just any book, it's a book we made ourselves IP: Well a graphic novel really IP: Fern wrote it and I drew it IP: It's weird and mysterious and theres lots of puzzles to solve so it should be right up your alley! BB: What's it called? IP: Ah well you'll just have to wait and see ;D BB: I cannot believe the pair of you went to all this trouble though! That is incredible, thank you. IP: Ahhhhhhh Arthur you're making me blush ^///^ IP: No but seriously it's your best present today, right? BB: Well... BB: It's certainly up there, that's for sure. IP: Damn straight it is!
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randomwriter
Your shit is wrecked
Posts: 624
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by randomwriter on May 9, 2016 21:57:54 GMT
>Gain a crush on Fern as well, for some reason.
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Post by Sharkalien on May 10, 2016 0:21:02 GMT
>When will this hella bodacious present arrive
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Post by Neptz on May 10, 2016 15:12:56 GMT
>Buster: Gain a crush on Sado-hedeonistichist Bunny
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Post by artstuck on May 10, 2016 19:09:06 GMT
>Buster: Gain a crush on Sado-hedeonistichist Bunny >#bitch please >#arthur is waaaaaaaaaaay out of my league >#like holy shit what a man >#as brave as a warrior and as cultured as an artist >#all the women want him >#and the men >#well fuck me they want him too >#naaah i know my place >#in the fuckin smelly ass gutter >#i mean come on who wouldnt want arthur to have a crush on them >#for real >When will this hella bodacious present arrive
BB: So when can I expect my present? Next time I see you, I assume? IP: Nah I can give it to you right now! IP: It's saved on my hard drive BB: Oh, so it is an electronic book! Fascinating. BB: I prefer the feel of a physical book myself, as nothing can compare to the feeling of flicking through each and every sheath of paper as you go through page after page... BB: But I admit that it is nice to once in a while use my Kindle. IP: Okay hang on I'm going to email it to you now IP: It's a pretty big file so it might not get to you immediately IP: I'm so excited for you to read it though, you're going to love it!
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Post by Sharkalien on May 10, 2016 21:08:02 GMT
>Immediately receive your present
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Post by artstuck on May 10, 2016 22:08:46 GMT
>Immediately receive your present
BB: Sue Ellen... BB: This is incredible! BB: You and Fern actually made this? BB: The pair of you should absolutely go into business together. BB: Both the artwork and the writing are magnificent. IP: Wow, you think so? IP: I was worried it might look a bit amateurish... BB: No, not at all! BB: It looks very professional, I'm impressed! BB: I've only read the first few panels so far, but I'm already completely drawn in. BB: You were definitely on the money when you said that it was weird and mysterious! BB: I had no idea the pair of you were so talented. IP: Hehe you're making me blush! IP: It's not that good IP: But thanks anyway IP: Fern's going to be thrilled that you like it IP: Well IP: About as thrilled as Fern ever gets, anyway
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