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Post by Sp00kyrex on Nov 6, 2017 7:31:40 GMT
>Caveguy: Be strangely okay with this, due to adjusting to the previous exposure to too-much-noise from when your pet laid its egg. To be honest you aren't really feeling the noise. You aren't sure why considering just about everyone else is suffering, but you aren't too phased about it. Maybe your continued to exposure to loud noises has given you noise-cancelling super powers? You sure hope so.
It wouldn't do to have your animals give out on you though, especially considering the fact that you are relying on one of them to be conscious in order to your further your continued escape. You decide you'll have to take matters into your own hands to resolve this. >Caveguy: Take matters into your own hands. You do so, quite literally.
What should you do now?
>Caveguy: Have a Pokemon style battle with MULTI-EYED TOOTHBEAST. You send out LOUD-BORG THE ANNOYING.
"CAST MAGIC MISSILE!" You tell your poke-companion!
That's...that's how you play pokemons right?
Whatever. >Big Toothy Thing: Cast DEFLECT. You deflect the robot (robots aren't pokemon dumbnuts) by consuming it whole. ==> Your deflection was SUPER-EFFECTIVE.
Annoying-bot 4,000,000 has been slain. >Mystery person: Mourn the loss of your child. You don't have children.
Anyways, you were hoping the big guy would take the bait soon.
You have a switch prepared just for this occasion. >Mystery Person: Flick "S/D" switch. You activate the SELF-DESTRUCT SWITCH.
That should buy the holder some time. >Hulking Abomination: Reap karmatic retribution. ==> It turns out your deflect attack was not in fact SUPER-EFFECTIVE.
It was actually SUPER-INEFFECTIVE. |
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Post by GreatKaiserNui on Nov 6, 2017 23:57:22 GMT
Don't put off dying, life half-exploded is not fun.
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Nov 12, 2017 7:57:39 GMT
==> ==>
...
Holy Shit.
You didn't know what to expect when you threw that magic floating screech-box at the giant-mouthed devilbeast but you sure didn't expect to blow its head off like that.
Seriously what the fuck. That was fucking brutal.
==> Hey wait...
What's that thing over there that isn't a gore-riddled, desiccated husk? ==> Hey that sure is...
A hole?
What is a straight vertical shaft like this doing in the middle of the woods directly next to where the giant crown monster blew its brains out?
Puzzling.
>Caveguy: Descend big, black, gaping hole. You have descended the big, black, gaping hole.
In it you find a small lit room, furnished with odd decorum, likely of some highly advanced civilization. Or maybe aliens or something? Gods? Who knows.
You don't really know where to begin looking around this place or what to look for.
Gotta give it some thought. |
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Post by GreatKaiserNui on Nov 13, 2017 2:15:10 GMT
Notice the Skull.
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Nov 13, 2017 7:24:09 GMT
>Caveguy: Fondly regard painting. You go ahead and regard the painting fondly. Or you do until you look a little closer.
Upon closer examination it appears to not be a painting, but a slightly carved piece of material in the shape of a dinosaur skull w/ vertebrae.
A fine sculpture, but not a painting and therefore not something you can regard fondly.
You hang your head in disappointment. >Caveguy: Let's look at the other side of the room and see what there is to look at. You were sort of already facing that direction when you entered the room, but maybe the fact that you still somehow don't know what it looks like means that you weren't looking hard enough.
You go ahead and give this side of the room your laser-focus and are finally able to perceive it with your puny mortal mind. What a miracle.
There... doesn't actually seem to be much going over here actually. Kind of a let down really. >Caveguy: Read note. You go ahead and read the note stuck to the wall via invisible adhesive technology. "Dear Whoever, I have abducted a woman of questionable relation to you. Come find me. - (Crown symbol)" Additionally it appears that the note is instructing you to flip over the paper. You're feeling pangs of nervousness. >Caveguy: Obey intimidating parchment. Not being one to typically fold to paper you have to wonder whether or not it would be wise to heedlessly obey strange pieces of paper strung up on miscellaneous walls. Unfortunately your curiosity gets the better of you and you flip over the paper, will shattered and blown to the wind. It seems the paper wins this battle, much to your dismay.
Upon flipping the paper you are greeted with some sort of roundish thingy, held in place by the same mysterious adhesive as the paper.
Dark magic is afloat here, you can smell it. |
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Nov 17, 2017 4:18:59 GMT
>Caveguy: Examine switch-looking thingy. You are prepared for a monumental test of strength wherein you would rip and tear the intangible seams holding this relic in place before you see that it actually comes off pretty easily. Evidently whatever it is that was holding this thing in place wasn't as sticky as you thought it would be. If anything there's actually a bit of dust and stuff stuck to the sticky side, which you guess might have diluted its adhesive properties? You aren't sure.
Anyways, you go ahead and give this thing your best examination effo-
Yeah no. You have no clue what this thing is.
You don't even know where to BEGIN trying to figure this thing out. Oh well, maybe it will be more apparent later. >Caveguy: Try flipping the switch-looking thingy. Yeah no.
If your most recent interactions with strange future/holy/unholy technology is any indication, you think you'll err on the side of caution before charging with reckless abandon at things that may or may not cause you to not exist anymore.
You suppose you'll press it when you've exhausted all your other options here just so you can have a little more knowledge before you get potentially blown to shit. You never know if Heaven has 20 Questions, and you'll be damned if you aren't prepared to answer each and every single one of them. >Caveguy: Examine the shiny circle thing below the two pictures. Yes that would be a mirror.
Why wouldn't you just call it a mirror? I mean come on. This isn't rocket science.
...
What? No, you do know what a mirror is and no one can say to the contrary. You know what a mirror is and you will forcibly consume anyone who dares insinuate otherwise. You swear it.
Looking at the M I R R O R you can very obviously see your reflection.
Because that's what mirrors do. They reflect things. Again, this is kiddie stuff. You will note, despite your apparent mental regression to infancy, that you haven't had a good look at your face in a while.
You don't know what about it seems off to you...
Maybe it's the hat? Or maybe your lack of hair. You suppose middle-aged infancy is not a condition that lends itself to luxurious locks.
You decide to drop it before you start seeing things in your face that make your self-esteem go down the shitter. >Caveguy: Notice the Skull. Unfortunately you are unable to notice the skull because the skull is inside your head.
S P 0 0 K Y. |
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Post by HypergressiveAgent on Nov 19, 2017 3:28:06 GMT
Gorgosaur: examine the corpse of the.... thing that chased you. does it look safe to eat?
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Nov 20, 2017 6:13:09 GMT
>Gorgosaur: Recover from that long sprint you just went through carrying that fat man your new master. You have just been rescued from having to run infinite more miles by fortunately having your pursuer viscerally explode right behind you.
You aren't used to this kind of long sprint running considering you are an APEX PREDATOR and not usually SHEEPISH PREY. It also doesn't help that your new master is somewhat heavy-set and for some reason decided to bring along that small turkey dinner with him.
You need to take a minute's rest. >Gorgosaur: Examine the corpse of the.... thing that chased you. Does it look safe to eat? You'll be frank. No it does not.
Now you're used to eating some pretty rank stuff every now and then, you don't think you've ever smelled anything this... raw. Especially not fresh meat.
This strikes you as very off and you think you'll refrain from eating it, tempting a meal as it it. ==> It really doesn't look like any animal you've seen before. Not to say you've seen anything like your new master, but still. This thing just looks weird.
You're glad it's dead at least, though that floating thing above it still makes you nervous. >Gorgosaur: Don't become bored. That is the thing you should definitely not be. You guess you aren't really bored, but you are tired.
You think you'll just lay here for a bit till your master surfaces again and takes you somewhere else. Hopefully somewhere with less death beasts that usurp the natural order of the Mesozoic. ==> >First Herald of the Crown: Fight for your Food. >Caveguy: Who's this Douchebag? You have no idea.
You feel like you might sorta have a faint inclination as to who it is but...
You just can't recall. Darn.
At any rate, using your SLEUTH INTERPRETATIVE ABILITIES, you can tell that this guy cuts a good figure in a suit even if you have no idea who this smug galoot here is.
That's actually all your sleuthing abilities tell you. You would make such a shit detective,
it isn't even funny. It's really sad really. |
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Nov 25, 2017 19:15:11 GMT
>Caveguy: Hey what happened to your torch? Your torch?
Oh yeah that.
How silly of you to forget what you did with it considering it is one of the single most important items of your quest! Now where did you put it... >Caveguy: Recollect torch placement. If you're remembering correctly you noticed that you couldn't really take the torch down with you since you didn't really have anywhere to put it while you made your descent down the big, black, gaping hole. You also didn't feel confident throwing it down ahead of you Indiana Jones style because you were afraid the fall would snuff out the portable light source.
So you did the only sensible thing and left the torch upstairs leaning against a tree, ready to be picked up by you when you finally exit this tiny den of mystery. ==>   Yeah you don't see any flaws with your line of reasoning.
You're a pretty smart guy if you think so yourself. >Caveguy: Flick the switch and blow yourself up already. Hey, HEY, HEY!
Suicide is never the answer!
Though in this case you think curiosity has gotten the better of you so you go ahead and flick the potential bomb switch anyways because you can't think of anything else to do with it. >Short guy: Knife. Screechbot. Make it happen. You can't really do that since you have already been repeatedly stabbing the Noisemaker every second since it started exuding that terrible audio. >Short guy: Maybe you should calm down a little? No.>Short guy: Be glad. You think you'll be mad instead. |
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Post by GreatKaiserNui on Nov 26, 2017 7:25:19 GMT
Short Guy: Become soul-brother with Caveman due to shared RAGE against loud noises.
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Post by ezra on Nov 27, 2017 22:43:48 GMT
Short Guy: Just accept your fate and learn sign language to make up for your new disability.
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Dec 3, 2017 21:29:38 GMT
>Short guy: Have some restraint and gather your bearings. Yeah yeah.
It's no use to waste your time screaming like some homicidal maniac. You have to be calm and collected here if you want to stay on track. The dumb robot is dead and you are now in a position where you can actually concentrate without getting your eardrums beat upon by that horrible grating noise. >Meanwhile... A pole rises in response to the flick of a switch elsewhere. ==> >Short Guy: Become soul-brother with Caveman due to shared RAGE against loud noises. Caveguy is too far away and too disconnected from you to connect with via the SOUL. You just become brothers in pain with Mammon because he has been in pain for at least 15 minutes and he is also much closer to you and thus more relatable. >Short Guy: Just accept your fate and learn sign language to make up for your new disability. Yes, seeing how you are in such a profound state of suffering you go ahead and commit to learning sign-language to combat you encroaching hearing-loss.
Look! You've already learned a new sign!
What strides of progress you made in only seconds! >Mammon: Pass out from the collective pain you have gone through. You go ahead and do that.
Congrats. >Mammon: Wait if you're down then how is the Old Lady doing? The old lady seems to be in critical condition.
This constant barrage of noise does no one any favors. |
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Post by HypergressiveAgent on Dec 4, 2017 2:27:38 GMT
Caveguy: whats that noise?
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Post by Husad. on Dec 6, 2017 3:13:48 GMT
>Short Guy: Have a nervous collapse and a sonic seizure of epileptic proportions
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Dec 8, 2017 6:18:25 GMT
>Mammon: Mourn the loss of the probably (?) dead (?) granny. You move your barely conscious arm over to the old woman's corpse to verify her fate. Surprisingly enough it seems that she is actually still breathing!
Evidently the loud series of noises has merely incapacitated her as opposed to the alternative. You suppose this means you can hold off on the funeral pyres for now you think. You also think you will pass out because your eardrums are about to crack your skull in half so yeah.
Nighty night. >Short Guy: Have a nervous collapse and a sonic seizure of epileptic proportions. You don't see why you would do that. The new noise isn't that horrible.
Ok yeah it's bad but really, in comparison to the old screechbot sonet this new sound isn't nearly as ear-wrenching. Though just because it isn't comparatively as bad doesn't mean you like it. In fact it makes you downright angry. You think you are going to find the source of this sound and you are going to smother it.
To death. >Caveguy: What's that noise? Huh.
It seems as soon as you switched on that mysterious switch a siren-like noise began squealing throughout the area.
Maybe you should check it out.
>Caveguy: Pick-up backpack. You go ahead and pick-up your backpack since you put it down earlier. You very clearly remember putting it down and it would be disingenuous of anyone else to assert otherwise. You know what you do or do not place on the floor, your backpack most especially included.
So yeah you pick it up in preparation of your imminent departure. You take a solid glance around the room as well for good measure. If there was anything else you were forgetting in this room, now is the time to remember about it before you leave indefinitely. Probably forever. |
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Dec 17, 2017 2:28:57 GMT
>Caveguy: You have forgotten nothing. Leave immediately. Well your brain can't be wrong so you go ahead and begin climbing the ladder to the peaceful forest you know you left behind.
You go ahead and begin your ascent. >Caveguy: Question the current state of your mount. Hey what's the hubub bub?
Your Gorgosaur looks somewhat queasy. What's with all the hot flashing light too? Something seems amiss here...
You just can't seem to place it.
>Caveguy: Turn around!!! Well maybe a new perspective could be the key to figuring out this mystery.
Sometimes all you need to do is change your outlook on life and you'll be that much closer to getting things figured out. Let's see what's going on behind you. ==> Oh. ==> You think you're gonna stay down here.
Yeah probably for the best. |
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Post by Husad. on Dec 17, 2017 15:31:35 GMT
>Caveguy: Read the paper next to the dinosaur bone frame
>Raptor Pet Thing: Enter the hole of the fat man
>Loud Chicken Beast: Also enter the hole of the fat man
>Shortguy: Hunt the noise
>Mammon: Since you are a skelenton, Why not just assemble yourself piece by piece on the other side?
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Post by HypergressiveAgent on Dec 18, 2017 5:18:26 GMT
Cave guy: look at those objects on the floor. you need to distance yourself from what you saw
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Dec 19, 2017 7:20:00 GMT
>Caveguy: Fiddle with the car keys. You fiddle with them to the greatest extent you can muster.
Unfortunately they continue to not explode in a helpful manner. Actually wait, the fact the keys aren't exploding is probably a good thing since you are currently holding them. What is this switch doing then anyways?
This is completely pointless and probably has no meaning on anything ever. However you are nervous and continue to flip the switch incessantly regardless.
Addiction is a powerful thing. >Short guy: Hunt the noise. You've climbed to the top of this pod and have found that the source of this noise appears to be this large loudspeaker. You have no idea what prompted it to extend like this considering the fact that you haven't flipped the panic key. You don't recall seeing the key either, so you have no idea how you can shut off the godawful alarm.
This is so stupid. How are you supposed to- ==> -wait what. ==> ==> Ok you do so.
Twice. ==> ==> You are now unconscious.
People:0
Unconsciousness:3 |
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Post by GreatKaiserNui on Dec 20, 2017 4:44:06 GMT
Commentators, do your stuff.
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Post by Husad. on Dec 20, 2017 16:31:57 GMT
Mammon: You're a skeleton right? Can't you just assemble yourself on the other side now that the gremlin is unconscious?
Neanderthal Caveguy: Piss yourself in fear and faint like a little girl because of the monstrosity outside
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Post by HypergressiveAgent on Dec 23, 2017 7:27:31 GMT
Gorgosaur: do something; you refuse to die in this place
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Dec 24, 2017 6:29:01 GMT
>Caveguy: Check for any hidden buttons in the car key.  You go ahead and give the key a once over and, much to your credit, actually find out that the backing of the key is removable.
Upon opening you find two small metallic objects that seem to be holding the key together, another, more cylindrical metallic object lodged in the device, an unlit bulb residing in the backing, and a strange symbol that seems to match the one on your cap. Unfortunately there do not seem to be any additional buttons, switches, or doodads hidden amongst these things.
On the backing you removed you find a small code and another variation of the symbol. You have no idea what the code means though. This will require more investigative work later assuming that you live long enough to actually investigate anything in the future. >Caveguy: Look at those objects on the floor. You need to distance yourself from what you saw. The trials before you are becoming increasingly challenging and frightening. You know you have to think of a way out of this for you and your entourage, but you also need to calm down so you don't get yourself killed.
The stuff scattered on the floor seems like a good distraction...
...uh, whatever this stuff IS. >Caveguy: Inspect odd ball of translucent sticky material. You aren't really sure what this stuff is.
Upon closer inspection you come to realize that this is the stuff used to hang that note you read earlier onto the wall, albeit bunched up into a big useless ball.
Unfortunately for you, you also come to see under what circumstances the ball was created first-hand. You unceremoniously pocket ONE (1) sticky-stuff dispenser and TWO (2) balls of sticky-stuff. >Caveguy: Piss yourself in fear and faint like a little girl because of the monstrosity outside. N-no!
You would never degrade yourself like that, afraid or not!
You have too much self respect and too much control over your bladder contents to fall victim to such a potentially pitiful state. >Loud Chicken Beast: Enter the hole of the fat man. You enter the underground bunker hastily to avoid the gluttonous wrath of the beast above.
Though, because you lack opposable thumbs and/or advanced coordination skills, you fall down and scare the heck out of your master. It seems that he is looking rather embarrassed all of a sudden but you could not fathom why.
Unfortunately, your large companion upstairs could not come down here with you because it is way too big to fit through the hatch.
You pray for their safety. |
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Post by Husad. on Dec 25, 2017 5:18:37 GMT
Gorgosaur: Run into the jungle and hide in a bush
Prayer: Be answered by Raptor Jesus and bring forth a miracle from the firmament
Cave Man: Remove soiled clothing and use it to absorb the rest of The lemonade you just made and throw it through the hatch and into the hole of that big monster and afterwards hug the Bird Beast like a Teddy bear
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Post by Sp00kyrex on Jan 1, 2018 3:26:26 GMT
>Prayer: Be answered by Raptor Jesus and bring forth a miracle from the firmament. Raptor Jesus is not an entity that exists in this, or likely any reality!
Come one, you can't just wait around and hope for higher powers of questionable reality to solve your problems for you.
Sometimes you gotta take some initiative and solve your own problems. >Gorgosaur: Run into the jungle and hide in a bush. Seems like this place is getting a bit too hot to handle!
You flee quickly to avoid the fiery temper of the beast before you. Hopefully the situation will resolve itself with your master intact. If that happens to be the case you'll try and stay nearby enough so that you can be properly reunited.
You wouldn't really be much use to anyone dead, so you hope doing this is for the best. >First Herald:Contemplate prey. The large meal has absconded.
You won't chase when a canned meal lies before you.
Now only to get the juicy contents within.
You'll have to use your secret weapon, born of your first death, if you want to taste some true delicacies. >First Herald: Unleash secret weapon. ==> >Caveguy: Question your fine feathered friend. What is your animal doing down here scaring you?
Oh well. You suppose it IS safer down here instead of up there so you can't exactly blame it for trying to not die. You have a hard time imagining your lumbering foe making its way down here anytime soo- ==> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
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