After at least 5 failed attempts at trying to write a good story, you gave up and took the hardest freaking nap possible on your relatively uncomfortable desk. But now, to your dismay, you’re awake, and you still feel miserable for some reason.
Oh wow, what an inconvenience, you seem to have somehow forgotten your name! The youngsters nowadays are always so forgetful, what is your name again?
Your name isn't Andrew Hussie, and it will never be. Going by the contents of the previous page, you don't seem to be able to write even a single chapter of a simple story, let alone one of 7 freaking acts.
The Bohemian (from MSPFA): >Name, rank, date of last date, and combat experience
A box suddenly appears to your left, containing what you assume to be important information.
The box shows:
Your DoLD, or Date of Last Date
And lastly your CXP, or Combat Experience.
The name slot is empty for obvious reasons because somehow, being the idiot you are, you have yet to remember your name. Your rank is disappointingly, yet unsurprisingly at level 1; you believe that you could potentially reach higher ranks by completing certain tasks, just like how one would level up in an RPG. Then there is the DoLD stat, which stands for Date of Last Date. You personally don't know what actual use this stat has, but it exists for some reason and there is nothing your meager existence can do to change that fact. Although you're ashamed to admit it, you haven't really ever been on a date before, and as such the stat isn't applicable for now (and knowing you, probably forever). Finally, there is the CXP stat. For you imbeciles not familiar with the art of intensively deciphering acronyms, CXP stands for Combat Experience (Points), which show you how experienced you are with combat (what else did you expect, you buffoon). Once again, there is a fitting, predictable number 0 representing your pathetic skill in battle.
But like, for realsies, the seeming lack of the ability to recall something as simple as your name is quite worrying. This could be a classic case of Alzheimer's, and if that's the case, this story just took a weird but dark turn.
calescentInfernum (from MSPFA): >Jerry Seinfeld, or something of that caliber.
Ah, Jerry Seinfeld, the famous actor, and comedian. While most know him for his role in Seinfeld, you know him from...
You’d rather not talk about it, you’ve had a traumatic experience with that movie which you would preferably not want to elaborate on right now.
Spyglass (from MSPFA): > Not Applicable? First name Not, last name Applicable. other options include Alias Maximus and Bogus Xtremus.
Man, you’re really imaginative today aren’t ya?
Although Bogus Xtremusis your username on Dissonance.
Ah yes, your name is Andy Walker.
In situations like these, you fail to understand how you’ve managed to come so far in life.
You look to your right, out your window, and see the dark, grey clouds between the uncountable collisions of raindrops against the cold glass of the windowpane. There’s a huge test tomorrow you haven’t studied for, yet here you are busy writing lame stories trying to escape from the shitty reality you’re bound to; the only thing calming your mind being the rain. For some reason everyone hates rain, but you quite enjoy it, when you’re inside of the comfort of your own home that is. Being cold and wet isn’t really your type of thing, so you tend to stay inside with a warm cup of tea to accompany you.
Maybe the rain represents the discord engulfing your life at the moment; the constant pressure of having to study for a subject you could care less about feels like being bombarded with an endless amount of raindrops, so you try writing stories to calm your mind with ideas that distract you from the pressures of school, just like how the soothing sounds of rainfall distracts one from the reality of rain. The reality being that rain is everything but soothing, it’s chaotic, yet somehow the sound of it relaxes and calms us.
You punch yourself in the face because you’re being too melodramatic again. Gotta get those silly thoughts back where they belong! Which is deep down in your psyche where no one, including yourself, will ever be able to reach them.
You’re pretty sure this isn’t healthy.
Well anyway, let’s get this show on the road! How will you waste your time?