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Post by RiderChronicle on May 5, 2019 22:44:37 GMT
AUTHOR'S NOTE:SoftlockedA young man stands in his room. It just so happens that today, the 5th of May, 2019, is this young man's birthday. Though it was nineteen years ago he was given life, to him it seems like just another day. An unimportant day, filled with the usual festivities, maybe a cake, maybe a present or two. And of course, on those hypothetical presents, would be his name. His name being...
...being...
What was this guy's name again?
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Post by aldente on May 6, 2019 1:58:10 GMT
> Josh Kramer
And a silly one, because I'm obligated to:
> Squimbly Jimbly
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NothingIsOkay75
Planet Healer
Homestuck 2? More like Homestuck POO amirite? Please bring back this forum
Posts: 324
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NothingIsOkay75 on May 6, 2019 2:12:00 GMT
> Swirlass Owtheedge
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Post by RiderChronicle on May 6, 2019 6:03:48 GMT
Enter name.Try again.Try again.Examine room.Your name is JARED KLEIN. As it was previously mentioned, today is your BIRTHDAY. Nineteen years ago you were born, and only six years ago you received your HONORARY PLACRONYM to commemorate your name. And only just a week ago, you completed your FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE. What a wild world you live in.
You have a variety of INTERESTS that you don't pretend to keep secret. You absolutely adore COMEDY MOVIES, along with COMEDY TELEVISION SHOWS. You have a particular soft spot for any movies starring JACK BLACK, and you aspire to be as legendary as the great Jablinski himself someday.
You also have a passion for drinking soda, or "pop," as those in the MIDWESTERN UNITED STATES call it. You consider yourself a connoisseur in the carbonated arts, though your friends know all this means is sampling every type of FAYGO. You also have a small interest in ARCHEOLOGY and ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS, and learning about them and their downfalls FASCINATES you. Your wardrobe also consists of nothing but graphic tees. It's your guilty pleasure.
What will you do?AUTHOR'S NOTE:My bad, I did forget to mention that all of the names for the kids are pre-chosen. But the silly names are definitely welcome!
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Post by aldente on May 6, 2019 19:45:51 GMT
> Go to your computer and go to omegaupdate.freeforums.net> Enter the kitchen to grab some snacks. > Build a fort out of the items in your room.
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NothingIsOkay75
Planet Healer
Homestuck 2? More like Homestuck POO amirite? Please bring back this forum
Posts: 324
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NothingIsOkay75 on May 6, 2019 22:55:10 GMT
>Find a rope somewhere in your room to hang your MISBEHAVING SCALEMATE
>Examine GIFT-BOX
>Read NOTEBOOK
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Post by connorkelly on May 7, 2019 2:25:47 GMT
>Silently quote the Office to yourself while remembering fond references you made on reddit.
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Post by RiderChronicle on May 8, 2019 11:22:00 GMT
> Jared: Go to your computer and go to omegaupdate.freeforums.net.
You don't believe you've heard of that website before, but it does give you an excuse to boot up your computer.
==>
You boot up your handy dandy browser, GOOGLE CHROME. One of your friends chews you out regularly for using it, but what else are you gonna use? HEPHAESTUS? Yeah right.
Your computer begins chugging as it attempts to allocate the proper memory to run Google Chrome.
==>
Seems this... OMEGAUPDATE FORUM website doesn't exist anymore. Or it might never have existed in the first place.
You may never know.
> Jared: Enter kitchen to grab some snacks.
While you are MILDLY HUNGRY, you have no doubt that your FATHER is somewhere downstairs. Avoiding him, especially TODAY, takes priority over your basic need for sustenance.
Your stomach growls defiantly at you.
> Jared: Find a rope somewhere in your room to hang your MISBEHAVING SCALEMATE.
What, you mean SERGEANT SODAPOP? He'd never misbehave! The good sergeant is an UPSTANDING member of Scalemate society.
Or at least that's what you were told by the friend who bought you this thing for your birthday LAST YEAR. He loves these plush dragons, and figured you would too.
You admit that it is kind of cute.
> Jared: Examine GIFT-BOX.
The blue GIFT-BOX was a present from a FRIEND that you retrieved from the mail YESTERDAY. You haven't opened it yet as you were waiting for TODAY, your actual BIRTHDAY.
> Jared: Read the note.
==>
You fondly regard the note from your friend. You wonder what her and CC picked out for you.
==>
You'll go thank both of them right after you open--
Oh no.
Oh god no.
You make the HORRIBLE MISTAKE of captchaloguing the GIFT-BOX.
> Jared: Silently quote the Office to yourself.
NO, GOD.
NO. GOD. PLEASE. NO.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was a bigger update that took me awhile to do, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Going forward, I don't know if I'll end up taking ALL suggestions, but I'll definitely do my best for you guys! I should also mention we have Softlocked mirrored over on the MSPFA website! Come check it out!
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NothingIsOkay75
Planet Healer
Homestuck 2? More like Homestuck POO amirite? Please bring back this forum
Posts: 324
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NothingIsOkay75 on May 8, 2019 16:17:04 GMT
>Easy, just un-captchalogue it, right?
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Post by Scrumbly Johnson on May 8, 2019 16:46:37 GMT
> Did you make the mistake of getting one of those bullshit fetch moduses that you can't easily retrieve items from?
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Post by aldente on May 8, 2019 22:18:11 GMT
> Captchalogue more junk until the box is ejected.
> Talk to your friends about your woes.
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Post by connorkelly on May 8, 2019 23:38:22 GMT
>Upgrade your Sylladex to the Array Modus.
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Post by RiderChronicle on May 11, 2019 2:50:28 GMT
> Jared: Just un-captchalogue it.
Unfortunately, it's not that easy.
If you were to attempt to retrieve the gift-box from your SYLLADEX, it would result in the item being flung high up in the air, requiring you to CATCH it to safely retrieve it. Your poor reflexes would likely result in the box hitting the ground, and would probably break whatever is inside.
> Jared: Upgrade your Sylladex to the Array Modus.
This is, sadly, not possible for you. While you'd love to have the easy to use ARRAY MODUS (it'd definitely save you trouble), the only fetch modus you have on hand is your CURRENT one.
> Jared: Examine current fetch modus.
Ah yes, the CATCH MODUS. A gift from your father, which you received a few years back on your 16th birthday. Another example of his strange attempts to BOND with you, this modus was given to you with the intent of improving your hand-eye coordination, so you could presumably play REAL CATCH with your dad. That never happened, and as a result you have spent the last three years practicing the art of simply PICKING THINGS UP and PUTTING THEM DOWN.
The modus is simple enough. You can store any item and retrieve it in any order you wish. The downside is that the items are launched into the air at random speeds and heights, resulting in the user needing to CATCH the items to retrieve them safely. If the user isn't able to catch the item, it'll hit the ground, and whatever happens, happens.
You hate this thing.
> Jared: Talk to your friends about your woes.
Oh? It seems one of your friends is messaging you first.
> Jared: Answer your friend.
PESTERLOG
==>
PESTERLOG
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Post by connorkelly on May 12, 2019 13:47:12 GMT
>Turn off the lights and be quiet. He might think no one's home.
>See what weapons you have in your room. Strife seems inevitable.
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NothingIsOkay75
Planet Healer
Homestuck 2? More like Homestuck POO amirite? Please bring back this forum
Posts: 324
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NothingIsOkay75 on May 12, 2019 18:17:05 GMT
>Open the door on him, and pre-emptively attack. He'll never see it coming.
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Post by aldente on May 13, 2019 1:11:00 GMT
> Jump out the window!
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Post by TimeSceo on May 20, 2019 7:47:13 GMT
>Push drawer against door and block entry
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Post by RiderChronicle on May 24, 2019 23:03:57 GMT
> Jared: Turn off the lights and be quiet.
You turn off the lights and cease making any noise.
It is now slightly darker in your room.
> Jared: See what weapons you have in your room.
As a strife seems inevitable, you search your room for any sort of WEAPON. You can't seem to find anything USEFUL to equip for your STRIFE SPECIBUS.
You used to have a variety of weapon types allocated to your STRIFE DECK, until the whole thing accidentally caught fire in a previous kerfuffle with your father. You're not even sure how, as the entire concept of the Strife Deck is that it's abstract. You were able to eventually purchase a new deck and a new blank Specibus, but haven't found the need to equip anything to it until now.
> Jared: Jump out the window!
Ah yes, the good ol' jumping out the window trick. Not a bad idea, though last time you tried to use this escape route, you broke your leg, and your father caught up with you anyways.
That was a painful and embarrassing trip to the hospital. You think you'll pass on jumping from the second story of the house for now.
> Jared: Push drawer against door and block entry.
Not a terrible idea, but you don't have enough MANGRIT to accomplish such a task. Strength was never really your strong suit either, on top of the lack of hand-eye coordination.
You push on the drawers a bit, giving them a nudge.
==>
Wait. No. NO.
God dammit.
You're really off your game today.
> Jared: Open the door on him, and preemptively attack.
You finally decide you've had enough of these shenanigans and that it's time to face your father head on.
You seriously doubt he'll expect a surprise attack, and it might be enough to catch him off guard.
==>
With a battle cry, you leap towards the door and open it, ready to face the certain dangers that come with a conflict with your dad. He'll never see this coming--
You open your door to find your dad absent from the other side. Seems he left a note for you and only knocked on your door to get your attention, before walking away. AUTHOR'S NOTE
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Post by aldente on May 25, 2019 19:26:26 GMT
> Check the note
> Be wary of sneak attacks.
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Post by TimeSceo on May 29, 2019 22:37:24 GMT
>Seek out your father and engage strife while he least suspects it
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venchi
Rungjumpin' Ragamuffin
Posts: 283
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by venchi on Jun 1, 2019 4:11:09 GMT
> Pick up note and dash back in to your room
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