Xescali Pilgrim attempted to start a conversation with Zhaest Origoth'bokrug and Bernard Bartlett at 7:46AM, 10/22/1738
XP: Hey guys.
BB: So.
XP: This is awkward.
ZO: You had rebuttals. I did not. And no, I don't wish to discuss it.
BB: We're screwed.
ZO: You think?
XP: We're right where we're meant to be. Right in our places, all of us.
ZO: We're all tools.
BB: Well... I was tryin' to be nice, but— yeah, sure. Tools.
ZO: Because you're the protagonist.
BB: I'd say y'all share that position with me.
ZO: You two really feel this way?
BB: Yes, Z, I do feel this way. I'm tired. I can't remember most of my life anymore, and I don't know why I get up in the mornin'.
XP: I can't escape it. No matter where I go, I just can't get away from her. Why am I even here?
ZO: Because we're strong. We're the finest the Ouroboros had to offer. We'll get through this.
Hey. You there. Author. This is where you expect me to band up and bond with 'em, right?
BB: Yeah, cause it's real easy for you, right?
ZO: I beg your pardon?
BB: I had to live eight years of life in as many months, rewindin' and retryin' until I had it perfect. Kali had to deal with Scarlett and Lucas. What the hell have you exactly done?
ZO: I preach defiance in the face of adversity, and I'm the weak one?
BB: Then answer me. What've you done to stand with us?
ZO: You think I'm a joke. I'm the comic squid man, you think I've had no trials?
BB: I think your whole aloof wise dude schtick you're tryin' to cultivate is gettin' on my nerves. Oh look at me, I'm so interesting cause you know so little 'bout me! Start all these rumors and memes, make them all true.
XP: No more than the dude angry at the world thing you've suddenly started.
ZO: Or your surprise descent into emotionless self-pity.
XP: What.
ZO: I apologize that my life wasn't full of suffering as yours. Contrary to the myths, the first time around is the best, looking how you turned out.
BB: Unrefined and unshaped. Fits the tentacles. Why do you even have those? You lookin' for Jack Sparrow too?
ZO: Contrary to belief, suffering isn't the key. When you wound and break, you don't come back stronger. The weight of your scars don't empower you, they drag you down, show how weak you are.
BB: Grats, we agree. Except you don't have them. You don't get it.
ZO: Of course I don't. I'm too good for that.
ZO: Put that away, we're onboard.
BB: You start something, Origoth'bokrug, I'm going to finish it.
ZO: Greeks aside, the last typically doesn't get to be the best, Bartlett. They're lucky to be bothered with.
BB: You? Lead us?! You're the smart guy. Stick with it.
ZO: Compared to you? Fucking. Genius.
BB: You understand I can kill you where you stand.
ZO: You realize I can make you kill yourself.
XP: Both of you need to shut the fuck up. This is pointless.
ZO: Would you like to take his side? He'll need the aid.
BB: I don't want or need anyone else. I never asked for any of you.
ZO: What's it like, being so childishly alone?
BB: I don't have an entire species to disappoint.
XP: I get it, you just wanted to help. But this is a personal issue we need to work out alone.
BB: I already have.
XP: No, you're ignoring it.
BB: So what, I should embrace it like you? Where's that gotten you?
XP: Fuck you, Bernie, I tried to help!
BB: I NEVER ASKED! I didn't ask for supporting characters. I could've hacked it myself, but no, I get you two minor characters.
ZO: Because you're such a colorful character you can hold narrative momentum alone.
BB: Says the guy whose previous character is summed up as wacky wise squid dude.
XP: And you're one to talk?
BB: Fine. Let's shake up the narrative. You two think you can be protagonists?
ZO: Judging by you and Justine, absolutely.
BB: Bring it. Kill me, or I'm going to get two more notches.
ZO: You've gone insane. Oh god. Hecate's driven you mad.
XP: You won't.
BB: You think I won't?!
XP: I think you're soft at heart. You won't.
SQ: What's going on here?
XP: Oh my god you were! You really were going to do it!
BB: I like you. I like Z. I won't hesitate to kill you.
SQ: While I love the kissing up, I'm waiting for an explanation.
ZO: We've all been changed by the archon. We can no longer work together.
XP: Turns out we hate each others' guts enough to kill.
BB: We're learnin' we never really liked each other.
SQ: And you do this now of all times.
SQ: Melpomene's spawn. Stand down.
SQ: Honestly never thought I'd need the command phrase. Children. Follow me.
BB/XP/ZO: Yes.