researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on Apr 26, 2016 15:35:44 GMT
In Which Things did not go so well in the Furthest Ring, resulting in a HARD RESET of the entire multiverse.
>END OF ACT 7.You were once NEPETA LEIJON. You were once DAVESPRITE. You are now DAVEPETASPRITESQUARED, and you are presently lying on the floor of a dream bubble with a broken wing. Your solo fight against the LAST BOSS LORD ENGlISH did not go so well. You were BLASTED BY CUEBALLS and hit the desert floor with enough force to shatter the bones in your right wing. Damn it, the Davesprite part of you complains, why did it have to be the right wing AGAIN? The Nepeta part of you completely misses the accidental political statement in that pain filled lament, and instead focuses steadily on Vwiskers-- er, VRISKA SERKET, who is marching up towards Lord English with the JUJU CHEST in arm. Behind English, the Green Sun quickly and rapidly transforms into a black hole, setting the stage for... Lord English's pool ball eyes slowing down and settling upon.... white blanks? Oh. Shit! Those are CuE BALLS! Since when did English have Cue balls in his rapidly rotating eyes?? You struggle to push yourself up to yell a warning, but it's too late. Vriska opens the JUJU CHEST. That's when you WAKE UP. >DETERMIBENTA Young Girl awakens in her bed. Though it was nearly thirteen years ago she was given life, it is... wait, no. Tomorrow is the day she will be given a name, because tomorrow, APRIL 15th, 2016, will be her birthday. Regardless, this girl has awakened from a recurring nightmare, and so she likely will not get back to sleep any time soon. She looks to the clock and sees that it is close enough to midnight that she might as well choose a name now and stick with it. So what will this girl's new name be?
>[Feline Colcat]That name does not fit the proper naming convention for a human kid! Try again! XPP >[Argo Lalonde]
You roll the name over your tongue a few times to test it out. Yesss... That's it. You are now ARGO LALONDE. As previously mentioned, you are currently lying in bed having awoken from a RECURRING NIGHTMARE. It has been a dream that you've been having a lot as of late. It is a dream in which YOU HAVE WINGS, one of which is BROKEN, and are watching as a GIANT SKULL DEMON terrorizes a GHOST ARMY. Like all dreams, you know details that otherwise would never make sense. You just explicitly KNOW. You've been blaming the nightmares on a MOVIE an online friend recommended based off of your VARIETY OF INTERESTS, but lately that excuse feels like it's been falling somewhat FLAT. It's been several weeks already, subconscious, just give it a rest. >Argo: Examine room.
Your room is presently shrouded in darkness! It is the middle of the night, after all, and you don't sleep with a nightlight anymore either, although with the nightmares, you just might start again if only to see if it helps. You slip out of bed and turn the lights on to properly examine your room. Scattered across the walls are posters of your FAVORITE CARTOON SHOW and photos of you and your COUSIN during your various random meetings over the years. Across from your bed is your DESK. On it is your SCHOOL ISSUE LAPTOP and your PERSONAL DRAWING TABLET COMPUTER. Between the desk and the door is a BOOKSHELF. What will you do?
Welp, I'm probably going to regret starting this with so many other projects on the back burner. But WHY NOT. I was going to write this just as a fanfic, but then I thought, "Hey, I've never done a command-fed fan-adventure before. Might as well give it a shot!" Why Argo as a name? A. I couldn't figure out a way to make Davepeta fit the human kid naming scheme. >_> B.Meta reasons, in that none of the other kids will have drastically changed names from Homestuck Canon. And C. I was practicing my shading skills by redrawing a piece of artwork of Sword Art Online's Argo, and ended up making an accidental Human(ish) Davepeta, and since "Argo" fits the Kids 4 letter first naming scheme... Well, I figured it worked out for the best to just use the name here. |
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Post by TimeyWimeyHero on Apr 27, 2016 10:51:58 GMT
> Reminisce on past events
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on Apr 27, 2016 13:48:23 GMT
>Argo: Reminisce on Past EventsYou examine the FRAMED PHOTOGRAPHS on the wall. These are pictures of you and your COUSIN, JADE EGBERT. You're not related by blood, but you both share a common GRUNKLE BY ADOPTION. Her Birthday was TWO DAYS AGO. As your birthdays are so close together, and yet you both live on OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE COUNTRY, you usually alternate houses for your parties each year. This year, you were meant to have your shared birthday here in NEW YORK. However, this year, Jade's PET DOG DIED due to SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES involving a CAR, a FREAKY CAT, and a HEFTY, UNABRIDGED ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA. This happened days before she would leave, and did not make the decision that she will not be coming until the very last minute. This was a pain because you suddenly had to send her BIRTHDAY GIFTS through the mail. Normally, it would have only taken a few days, however, a FREAK METEOR STRIKE blew a massive chunk into the interstate highway that your mail courier would have taken, and so the delivery was postponed indefinitely. Maybe it was for the best Jade didn't come. You don't want to think about what would have happened if she'd been on the road when that meteor hit. This will be your first birthday spent without your cousin since... Well, you can't really remember a time you two haven't spent a birthday together. You hope this isn't a sign of you two drifting apart.
>Argo: Examine posters
These are posters of the TV show Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir.
Miraculous! Simply the Best! Up to the Test when things go wrong!You and Jade love this show to bits. Too bad the US broadcasters keep screwing with the schedule. You've both had to resort to finding the AUSTRALIAN BROADCAST to keep up to date. Not your finest moment, the day you caved, but a girl can only take so many SPONGE RERUNS before she snaps!! Jade constantly complains about the online streaming being ILLEGAL, but damn it, you want to watch Chat Noir make funny cat puns! Chat Noir is just the BEST at cat puns. Nobody can beat him at Cat Puns and you hope you'll be just as good as him in the PUNNING DEPARTMENT one day. You used to have some GRAVITY FALLS posters, but your MOM took them down for some reason during one of her rare DRUNKEN FITS. She never explains why she does what she does while drunk and you don't question her motives anymore because SHE DOES NOT REMEMBER ONCE SOBER. It's kind of a problem and she's working on it, but sometimes her JOB just stresses her out so much. Those rare drunken fits have been getting more common lately. You hope she's not in danger of getting fired. While you kind of miss seeing MABEL AND DIPPER on your walls, it gave you room for the LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR POSTERS that are there now. You do wonder where she hid those posters at though.
>Argo: Examine BookshelfThis is your BOOKSHELF. On it are many, many books given to you over MANY, MANY BIRTHDAYS, as well as a PLAGG PLUSHIE. Plaaaagggg....One of your ONLINE FRIENDS sent you this for CHRISTMAS. You don't know how they got their hands on it whole months before the official merchandise was set to hit stores, but you're NOT COMPLAINING at having EARLY ACCESS... Even if the explanation was a coyly remarked 'Shenanigans.' That same friend sent Jade a TIKKI PLUSHIE, and you hope that Tikki is giving Jade some good hugs during these Cataclysmic times. You HUGG the PLAGG while looking over the many titles on the bookshelf. Primary among them is your extensive MAGIC TREE HOUSE library. Gosh, you and Jade loved these books growing up. HISTORY, FANTASY, MAGIC, ADVENTURE. WOW. Despite being a cat person, your favorite arc was the one where the BOY was turned into a DOG and traveled along with the main characters for a few arcs. They even visited the TITANIC! At the time you thought that was just INCREDIBLE... it didn't hurt that you were a bit of a TITANIC FAN at the time. There was just something about the idea of an UNSINKABLE SHIP that called to you on a fundamental level. As you got older though, you started to think the plots were getting A LITTLE BIT CONTRIVED, and as the covers got harder, so too did your enjoyment of the ongoing plot lines dwindle. Jade still buys the books as they come out though, and even if you don't read them anymore, you have to admit that you get a little wistful just seeing all the new volumes set up with the numbers all in a row. Still, it was this series that got you interested in ONGOING SERIALS. There are quite a few different ongoing series on the shelf, but you've recently started reading this one FANTASY MURDER MYSTERY DETECTIVE SERIES that you really like! >Argo: Check Time
You've barely scratched nine minutes with these shenanigans. At least it's officially YOUR BIRTHDAY now, you consider going to find the PAW-NOIR-ARY PLAGG-RONYM Plate thing to carve your chosen name into it. You don't really know what the name plate thing is actually called but since you try to slip cat puns into things where you can, that's close enough to be accurate. ...Yeah, your idle thoughts have barely added another minute to the clock. Nice time management skills, sweetheart!
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on Apr 28, 2016 0:13:51 GMT
>Jump out the window with senseless abandon.
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on Apr 28, 2016 2:29:35 GMT
>Argo: Jump out the window with senseless abandon.
PLAGG! CLAWS OUT!
You briefly daydream about becoming CHAT NOIR and LEAPING OUT THE WINDOW into the ILLUMINATED PARISIAN LANDSCAPE to either FIGHT EVIL or just PAW-TROL with your BEST BUD, LADYBUG.
But sadly, you are not Chat Noir, nor can you even open the bedroom window. Your Mother had the window frame WELDED SHUT when you were little. You'd once left it open, and the family cat JASPERS escaped one morning while you both were out.
Several Months passed before Jaspers returned suddenly and dramatically, WITH A FAMILY. By that sharply dressed boy's side was a cute WHITE FURRED CAT who soon gave birth to an OCTET LITTER OF OREO COLORED KITTENS, all of whom were adopted out to SHELTERS.
Jaspers and the other Cat, whom your mother named BEATRICE, still live with you to this day. (Un)Fortunately, there haven't been any more Kitten Litters since then. (Your mother had them both fixed.)
>Argo: Peer through Window
Still, the welded frame taunts you, and the free world beckons from outside. You climb up onto your bed and push at the frame. It creaks and groans, yet the transparent object refuses to budge one inch. This window makes you feel TRAPPED, in a sense once bordering on the titular. Outside, between the LABORATORY that your Mother works at, you can see the tree branches of the nearby forest swaying in a subtle breeze, unseen yet present in its pranksters gambits. Their waving limbs are illuminated by the entrancing glow of the LABORATORY'S WINDOWS. It comes as no surprise to you that even this late at night, there are people hard at work there.
Your mother has told you that Time holds no meaning to the people she works with- for EXPERIMENTATION is their Cause, while SCIENCE is but their Excuse. You can sympathize with that- they do what they wish for however long they want. For deep within your Heart, you long to flex your wings and soar. You Believe You Can Fly, if only in your dreams.
Today is your THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY, and unlike all twelve preceding it, you feel a sense of... anticipation.
Your cousin's absence is but the latest piece of foreshadowing to an adventure you feel is just barely hiding in the background, much like the monster from your dreams who threads beams of death like meteors from heaven to destroy, say, AN INTERSTATE to prevent the delivery of MAIL.
"And while those who created the world did smile fondly upon their creation, Yaovi frowned as she put on the robes of death, and prepared for her role in this new world as the Reaper in Green. For as Life is Born, it must too Die. But in Death, Life will be Reborn once more. That, she knew, was the Cycle of Souls, Unending for as long as Forever was a thing." - Narrator, Mystryal Novels.
Most likely because of your current nightmare-induced INSOMNIA, you have a feeling that today is going to be a long day.
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on Apr 29, 2016 19:04:47 GMT
>Play sad prison music in an effort to passive-aggressively 1-up your guardian.
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on Apr 29, 2016 19:28:26 GMT
>Play sad prison music in an effort to passive-aggressively 1-up your guardian.
You suddenly have the desire to play some prison music. You don't actually have any instruments in your room, however, but there always is the internet.
>Argo: Check ComputersYour school computer is not to be used for anything but school work! The thing won't even run during certain hours, usually the night time ones, to prevent students from 'overworking' themselves. It's frustrating because unless you save constantly, the thing will shut itself off without warning and you might lose a whole ten pages worth of a novel length essay. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's happened before and has cost you and your classmates more than one assignment in the past. Your drawing tablet, however, has no such restrictions. ...It also happens to have no physical volume control until after you've logged in. Your mother is a LIGHT SLEEPER when not drunk, so normally, you would have to muffle the speakers with your bed sheets if you turn it on right now. Or... You're probably going to get a lot of grief for this, but you're feeling rather passive aggressive right now... You boot up your DRAWING TABLET COMPUTER, and press it speaker side up against the AIR CONDITIONING VENT that connects your room to your Mothers. It plays its UPBEAT JINGLE with reckless abandon. >Argo: Brace for Impact
As you log in and quickly begin a GOOGLE SEARCH for Prison Music, you brace yourself for retribution. But google proves rather frustrating in not giving you what you want for long enough that you realize that either your mother is NOT IN THE HOUSE, or she was drinking after you went to bed and is thus OUT LIKE A LIGHT. After spending at least ten minutes trying and failing to find a valid prison song, you just give up on that idea and open up FRESH JAMS instead. You navigate to a RECENT PROJECT you and your online friends have been working on, admittedly you were inspired by the recurring nightmare just a bit when you gave it its name.
>Argo: Play songYou play the Black Hole Green Sun Reversal, once more pressing the speakers against the air vents to get some awesome reverb going on. ...After the song is over, and you've heard not a single peep out of your mother, you're beginning to think she just isn't in the house. Do you dare leave your room and investigate? Or should you just keep killing time online until morning? |
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 2, 2016 17:01:03 GMT
{OOC} Welp... I guess here's a pesterlog. Even if I don't get any more interest in this adventure, I might as well put this up here so it's seen at least.{/OOC} >Argo: Get BuggedYour decision making is interrupted by someone BUGGING YOU over PESTERCHUM. ...But you aren't logged in? -tentacleTherapist [ TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [ AC] @ 12:19 A.M.-
TT: The more I observe your species, the more similarities between us I recognize.
TT: Nightmares, for example, seem to be a shared thing. So I ask you:
TT: Is there nothing you can use to ease your mind terrors?AC: oh noooo
TT: If there were but a way to transfer objects from one place to another nigh instantaneously, by means of perhaps transmitting a simple eight digit code...?AC: go away please
TT: Yes, if there was such a means, I would suggest you try this wonderful invention my species has. TT: It's called Sopor Slime, and it soothes nightmares quite easily. We Trolls are constantly plagued by them, you see. AC: go away go away go awayTT: Although, as of late we have had something of a shortage. So I could not send any to you even if we could send it at all.
TT: And even if we did have an excess to give away, since those nightmares seem to have made themselves more physical than mental, and most of us have taken to staying awake at all hours...
AC: im not buying your furricking product placement you stupid troll! XOO
AC: and how can you type so fast anyways!? TT: Baseless Accusation! I am not selling anything at all.
TT: As for how I can type so fast, I'm pausing your timeline to write these messages, then resuming to send them.
TT: In this manner it can appear as if I am printing these messages almost instantly, one after the other.
TT: I am nothing if not efficient when it comes to my job.
AC: AAAHHHH! STOP IIIIITTT!
TT: Although, I see no reason why I should be doing it when everyone else at this point has dropped our leader's assigned job of 'trolling' you all.
TT: I'd much rather try to become friends.
AC: *AC covers her ears from all the pinging*
AC: then go troll someone else! im not in the mood for this right now!!-arsenicCataclysm [ AC] BLOCKED tentacleTherapist [ TT] @ 12:20 A.M.- -arsenicCataclysm [ AC] set mood to OFFLINE- -tentacleTherapist [ TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [ AC] @ 12:21 A.M.- TT: Why is it that when the subject of blocking us is broached, you humans don't seem to get the most simple of concepts?AC: how the furrick are you still messaging me!?TT: The Blocking.
TT: It does nothing.
TT: The block ruse is but a distraction, at best.
TT: At worst, it is a ploy that will gain you nothing but scorn from us.
TT: I am however willing to forgive this transgression.
TT: Insomnia is a terrible affliction to live with. Much like I'd imagine a peanut allergy would be, if we Trolls had such a thing as a peanut allergy.
TT: Cat allergies, on the other hand...
TT: Let us just say that there is a reason Tavros has avoided messaging you.AC: STOP THAAAATTT!!!-arsenicCataclysm [ AC] BLOCKED tentacleTherapist [ TT] @ 12:21 A.M.- -tentacleTherapist [ TT] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [ AC] @ 12:22 A.M.- TT: Fine. I will stop pausing your timeline to send large swaths of text your way.
TT: Is this an agreeable arrangement for not blocking me again?AC: ...fine. what do you want?TT: As I've said before, I simply wish to help with your insomnia. AC: why?TT: Our leader has recently spent roughly six hundred hours of staying awake, much to the detriment of their logical and critical thinking. The rest of us have started following in their footsteps and I've begun to see the negative effects surfacing. I do not wish to see that fate befall you during such a critical time. You will need your sleep in the coming days, and I simply wish to help you get through this without much hassle.AC: aahhh! youre just writting even larger blocks of text now aren't you!?
TT: But I did not pause your timeline to do it, thus my promise is kept. As I have said, I am nothing if not efficient.AC:  ( thats not funny!
TT: It wasn't meant to be. I am quite serious about this rampant insomnia that seems to afflict the people I care about. AC: why would you even care about me anyways???
AC: you and you trolls have been harassing us fur months!
TT: As I've alluded to before, I am slightly further along than the rest of my friends who have been messing with you. AC: sure lets say ill believe that youre really a time traveling alien
AC: FUR NOW *AC glares suspiciously*
TT: Thank you for your generous faith in my statements.AC: why are you being so furriendly?!TT: There are many things going on presently that would make little sense to the you of the now if I were to explain them to you. As I have had that conversation with the you of the future- that is, my past, your future.
TT: I can say with 100% certainty: You will understand the full implications of what I'm about to say in due time, but simply put, as to avoid causal spoilers...
TT: Something happened, and it... what is he doing here?AC: um... tt?TT: Sorry, something has just come up. I apologize, but I have to go.
TT: Oh, and Happy Birthday, Argo.
-tentacleTherapist [ TT] stopped Trolling arsenicCataclysm [ AC] @ 12:33 A.M.- You suddenly understand jack shit. |
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on May 2, 2016 17:45:42 GMT
>Flip the Fuck Out
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 2, 2016 19:58:36 GMT
>Flip the Furrick OutYou proceed to flip out like a frightened kitten. How did the troll know it was your birthday?! Even more disconcerting, HOW DID THEY KNOW YOUR NAME? Which you literally only just chose... A glance to the clock confirms it's been about half an hour. ...How did they know your name which you ONLY just chose Half an Hour Ago?? ...Unless they're telling the truth about time travel? That's... a terrifying prospect. That these Trolls have been harassing you and your friends are actually...? >Argo: Check ChumRoll and TrollslumYou sign into Pesterchum proper, and look at the list of contacts who are online. Of course, the Trolls are offline- they always appear as offline when they're not actively bugging you- but surprisingly one of your ONLINE FRIENDS is online at this time of night.
>Pester Friend
-arsenicCataclysm [AC] began Pestering turntechGodhead [TG] @ 12:36 A.M.-
AC: dave? what are you doing up this late?
TG: oh hey ac
TG: i should be asking you the same thing but you beat me to the punch
TG: so yeah appartment building cross the street from us caught fire and the fire departments shown up in full force
AC: :OO oh my gosh what happened
TG: no clue me and bro are just chillin an watchin
TG: like damn its like one of those loud ass siren mounted clown cars barfing up ants to piss on a camp fire trying to put it out before the marshmallows get burnt to a crisp
TG: scept instead of marshmallows its the people living there and instead of ants its a bunch of men and women wearing ghostbusters outfits using fire hoses instead of proton packs and
AC: that metaphor got away from you didnt it?
TG: yeah
TG: sorry
TG: damn these flames are just transfixing
TG: here lemme send you a shitty selfie
--turntechGodhead [TG] sent file "whoyagonnacallthefiredepartmentapparently.JPG"--
AC: long filename is loooong
TG: thats not the only thing just look at that huge hole in the side of the building
AC: what the hell made that?
TG: bro says he thinks it was a meth lab or something
TG: dunno if it was or not but it was loud enough of a bang to get the car alarms going over half the city
TG: fire department showed up about five minutes later
AC: shouldnt you and your bro be getting out of there?
TG: nah
TG: bro thinks were safe for now
TG: fires not even that bad now
TG: only about a two alarm down from a full fledged ten
AC: i dont think ten alarm fires are actually a thing
TG: ac we live in texas
TG: weve got like twenty alarm fires here
TG: its a thing
TG: jesus christ get a pen are you writing this down
AC: i am writing it down in a text document F.Y.I. XPP
TG: okay sweet
TG: but yeah its not that bad of a blaze now
TG: like half an hour ago it was like
TG: staring at the sun it was so bright
TG: even my awesome cool kid shades werent doin much against the light that sucker was puttin out
AC: wow that really is a bright fire
TG: but enough about my problems whats up
AC: i
AC: do you think the trolls are actually able to message us from the future?
TG: what
TG: did someone say something funky or something
TG: which one was it was it the asshole in brown??
TG: look ive got the perfect counter to that guy just say charlie wants to have a word with him and hell leave faster than you can blink
AC: what? no. it was the purple one, tt.
TG: oh god
TG: look im just going to lay it out there she kind of lays it on pretty thick you know what im saying
AC: she knew my name.
TG: what
TG: oh right its your brithday so
AC: she knew my name and wished me a happy birthday even though id only just decided on the name like half an hour ago!!
AC: dave im a little worried they might actually have a reason to be mad at us
TG: beyond trolling us for the lulz you mean
AC: yeah
TG: so ah
TG: i guess i cant keep calling you ac then right
AC: argo, argo lalonde
TG: argo huh
TG: always thought you woulda gone with something like peta or nepp or something weird like that
TG: but hey cant go wrong with classic literature
AC: XPP well thank you mister strider
TG: youre welcome miss lalonde
TG: (btw happy birthday)
AC: (thank you :33)
TG: so whats up beyond trolls
TG: i cant imagine theyd be waking you up just to troll you
TG: dont you keep your computers off at night or something like a sane person
AC: that i do, yes.
AC: i couldnt sleep...
AC: so i was up looking up prison music online!
TG: why prison music
AC: *AC shrugs*
TG: cmmon girl you cant keep me hanging like that
TG: my hand is just hanging here waiting for a sick high five in return
TG: look at how sad my hand is having no high five to match it
TG: and look how sad it is that there is no grilled cheese sandwich resting there
TG: just waiting to be slid like the golden slider of cheesey american goodness it is right into my mouth
TG: fuck now im hungry
AC: where did that grilled cheese metaphor even come from anyways?
TG: mustve been someone hoarding cheese across the street or something
TG: smeels like a cheese shop all up in here all of a sudden
TG: i wonder if sonics open this late
AC: *waits for TG to find out what hes looking for*
TG: oh sweet if we hurry i can make it before the midnight closing
TG: yes
AC: hell yes
TG: hell
AC: furricking
TG: YES
AC: X33
TG: bros up for a late night sonic snack down so im gonna bounce
TG: ill message ya when we get there
AC: kk! :33
-turntechGodhead [TG] stopped Pestering arsenicCataclysm [AC] at 12:40 A.M.-
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Post by The Paradoxical Insurgent on May 3, 2016 1:19:42 GMT
>Dave made you hungry with all that talk of Sonic food. Go 'hunt' for food in the kitchen.
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 3, 2016 3:21:27 GMT
>Argo: 'hunt' for food in the kitchen.
Damn it, Dave made you hungry with all that talk of Sonics. You are now HUNGRY.
Well, you suppose your mind is made up. You're going to brave the house and see if you can find anything for a midnight snack. Also, you'll have to check if your mother is asleep or not. If she's not even home, you have free reign to COOK SOMETHING to eat that's a bit more extravagant than CHOCOLATE PUDDING CUPS.
>Argo: Exit Room
You exit your room and enter the hallway.
The window behind you shows a particular cluster of pine trees, and during the morning, when the sun rises, it shines a purr-ticularly bright light on the GARRISH WIZARD PICTURE on the wall opposite your room.
You glare at this particular wizard picture. You're pretty much LUKE WARM towards the existence of wizards in general, but for SOME REASON (whoop whoop sarcasm alert) the COTTON CANDY PIXI DUST SWIRL of photoshop'd magic swirling around the image just makes it unbearable during the day time. This picture isn't like the other WIZARD PICTURES, which were just random wizard wallpapers found on the internet and printed up on canvas, shitty JPG ARTIFACTS and all.
Oh, no, your mother was DRUNK when she ordered this and went the EXTRA MILE for this particular painting. It is a CUSTOM ORDER, and it's placement by this window was not an accident.
When the SUNLIGHT hits it JUST RIGHT, the magic will GLITTER AND SPARKLE, due to it being made out of GROUND UP GLASS DUST of A MYRIAD ASSORTMENT OF COLORS. This of course will shine a DISCO GLOBE effect into your room during the morning unless you KEEP YOUR DOOR CLOSED.
The rest of the painting is some gender neutral body wrapped up in PURPLE WIZARD ROBES and wearing a CLOWNFISH MASK. This Strange Wizard wields a MAGIC STAFF with a glowing planet hovering over the TOP. This "Planet" is but another CUSTOM FEATURE. It is, in actuality, a FLAT SCREEN TABLET with PRE LOADED ANIMATIONS that it cycles through depending on the TIME OF DAY.
Right now, it shows a PURPLE PLANET covered in SKYSCRAPERS.
>Argo: Check Mothers Room
You don't even have to peek into the room itself. Her BEDROOM DOOR is WIDE OPEN, revealing a MADE BED. Your mother is SOBER and likely is AT WORK. She never makes her bed when drunk.
You pass several of the PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED WIZARD PAINTINGS along the way. These at least are passable and NOT SO GLARE INDUCING.
>Argo: Descend to main level
You pause climbing down the stairs to send a glare at the GIANT ZAZERPAN STATUE your mother ALSO ORDERED WHEN DRUNK. It presently lies in MANY PIECES on the floor. You and your mother were COMPLETELY SURPRISED when the UPS TRUCKS showed up in SWARM, delivering this statue in VARIOUS PIECES.
The BASE never arrived, and thus the statue has yet to be completed, not that you think your mother actually wants to complete it at this point. It's become a bit of a RUNNING GAG between the two of you that Zazerpan will never FIND HIS FEET.
You proceed into the KITCHEN. As expected, there's a NOTE on the kitchen table. You already have a pretty good idea of what it's going to say.
The FRIDGE hums with the promise of FOOD.
You flick on the LIGHTS because it's a pain to walk around the main floor in the dark, what with all the wizard statue parts lying around. No sense breaking your toes against the STONE WORK, after all.
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 6, 2016 22:40:49 GMT
As a bit of a "what if" and "Just for fun," if this were an actual art based adventure... Kid Spites!Dave, Jade, and Argo aren't spoilery as being my initial choices for the B1 Kid places, but who took Jade's B1 role as being the Island Girl? Terezi, as it turns out! As she stands right now, Argo isn't wearing the coat. Where does the coat come from even? No idea, as of yet. XD |
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nitidjubilism
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Post by nitidjubilism on May 9, 2016 4:52:50 GMT
>cook something to eat that's a bit more extravagant than chocolate pudding cups
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 9, 2016 5:09:40 GMT
>Argo: cook something to eat that's a bit more extravagant than chocolate pudding cups
You decide to cook something to eat that's a bit more extravagant than chocolate pudding cups.
You set to work frying up a GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH, because Dave's talk of the things has wormed its way deep into your stomach and you HUNGER for Cheesey Goodness.
While the bread toasts in the frying pan and the cheese and butter begins to melt, you check out the NOTE your mother left.
DAUGHTER, it reads, IF YOU ARE READING THIS MOTE *NOTE THEN IT MEANS THAT SOMETHING ORRGENT *PURGENT *URGENT SURFACED AT WORK AND I AM OUT WORKING RIGHT OW. *NOW. IF I AM NOT HOME BY DIME *MINE *FINE *NINE, FEEL FREE TO OPEN YOUR PRESENTS WITHOUT ME. -LOVE, UR MUM, ROX__________
Just as you expected, it's one of your mothers' STRESSED OUT NOTES. She only leaves a note with this many TYPOS when she's in a hurry. She not only did not CROSS OUT the misspelled words, but she's not even used her signature PINK PEN to write the message! Instead, it's written in what appears to be GREEN CRAYON. Where did she even get Green Crayon from? You can't remember the last time a crayon box was in the house. Oh well.
>Return to Cooking
You return to monitoring your SANDWICH as it cooks.
You hear your DRAWING TABLET beeping from your SYLLADEX, because of COURSE you CAPTCHALOGUED it when you left your room. You're not that scatter brained to have FORGOTTEN TO MAKE NOTE of the act. It's just so SECOND NATURE that you just DON'T THINK ABOUT IT anymore.
Anyways, you're not about to bother with the whole ridiculous act of withdrawing the computer while you're monitoring your GRILLING. That'd just be stupid. You may be thirteen, but there's no way you're going to BURN THE HOUSE DOWN.
You'll check whoever's pestering you once you've finished cooking and sitdown to eat.
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 9, 2016 15:22:23 GMT
>Be Future ArgoYou are now Argo several minutes in the future. You've cooked your midnight snack, and are now ready to eat it. Now, you decide to retrieve your drawing computer.
>Retrieve drawing computerYou open your BOOK MODUS and LEAF to the page containing your Drawing Computer. You FOLD the bottom corner of the page, and your COMPUTER is dropped into your hand. It looks like DAVE has made true on his promise to pester you when he reached his destination.
-turntechGodhead [TG] began Pestering arsenicCataclysm [AC] at 12:44 A.M.-
TG: yo
TG: check it
TG: were here at sonics dont wanna drop it
TG: cause grilled cheeses are on the griddle
TG: and damn you can hear it sizzle
TG: that cheese and butter fizzle for chizzle
TG: last in line but definitely not least
TG: midnight grilled cheeses ready for this beast
TG: my hunger is rude man and my mouth is moist
TG: i be droolin just thinkin about chowin down
TG: cause were here and we just placed our order right on down
TG: gonna grab some golden sliders so choice and
TG: definitely made out of some choice texan pan
TG: (thats japanese for bread in case you didn't know)
TG: ("Oh, Snap!" the audience lets loose a bellow)
TG: credit cards be slidin, just as the spatula be slippin
TG: movin to flip that choice golden sandwich like
TG: a pancake on the griddle singing to a golden mike
TG: but we aint here for that kinda pan
TG: cake! no way dude we want that thick golden bread chopped up
TG: all sizzling and golden brown and smiling sunny side up
TG: damn, could go for some eggs now too
TG: maybe next we'll go hit up a target or two
TG: im already wearin the red shirt and the tan pan-ts
TG: might as well go shoppin for other stuff too
TG: grab our own sweet ingredients for cookin
TG: our own sandwiches in our new greased pans
TG: eggs and bacon damn son i pity the foo
TG: mister t aint got nothin on our cookin repitoree
TG: and... uh... george foremans gonna cackle with glee
TG: cause were gonna buy up a waffle grill
TG: cause breakfast aint sweeter without waffles hot off the presses
TG: and speaking of presses heres my midnight snack
TG: hot damn that is a beautiful sandwich
TG: excuse me while i have bro take a totally non ironic picture of me eating this thing because damn this thing is beautiful
--turntechGodhead [TG] sent file "Dave_s_Heavenly_Sandwich.PNG"--
You open the photo (taken from the higher perspective of Dave's BRO'S hands) of Dave biting down into a grilled cheese sandwich that looks just about as delicious as yours. Damn, are those tears coming from his eyes? It's hard to tell with the STILLER SHADES in the way, but you're pretty sure those are indeed tears of joy coming from Dave Strider's eyes. Dave's Bro is a lot better at PHOTOGRAPHY than Dave, but that's just because it's his JOB, after all. The entire Strider apartment, you're told, is just one giant RED ROOM. Dave is likely exaggerating, but you've seen the countless PHOTOGRAPH FRAMES lining the walls from some of Dave's IRONIC SELFIES. You wouldn't be surprised if this picture didn't make it onto the STRIDER CAM WEBSITE, it's just that wonderfully composed. You managed to eat your entire sandwich while reading Dave's ramblings. Now you want another one. You'd continue reading the log while you make another sandwich, but there isn't anything more recent than the last message. Dave is now IDLE. Likely, he's stuffing his face with grilled cheese sandwiches. You can't argue against that point, and focus on making your SUPER EARLY BREAKFAST. Because let's be honest here, you're now hungry enough to eat a horse-sized STACK of GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES. Damn it, Dave. You and your way with words.
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nitidjubilism
Plucky Tot
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Post by nitidjubilism on May 10, 2016 19:06:18 GMT
>Make a horse-sized stack of GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 10, 2016 19:16:35 GMT
>Make a horse-sized stack of GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES
Okay, yeah, why not. What's the worst that could happen??
>WORST: HAPPEN.
You start making another grilled cheese sandwich when you get a pester alert from your tablet. You ignore it for carefully monitoring your sandwich cooking.
The pestering sound continues however. It just does not stop.
The beeping and buzzing keeps harassing you and eventually you turn around in a huff to check the drawing tablet. In your rush, you accidentally CAPTCHALOGUE THE FRYING PAN, grilled cheese sandwich not included.
>Sandwich: Descend
Spell it with me now.
D. E. S. C...
You watch with horror as the sandwich lands on the open burner and catches on fire.
Oh.
Crap in a Hat!!!
>Argo: Put the fire out
You grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water before throwing it on the greasy sandwich fire.
Predictably, this does not work out in the least. You climb a rung up your ECHELADDER.
Pipsqueak Kitten ==> Tabby Flambe
>OH GOD HOW CAN WATER BE SO FLAMMABLE!?
You face meets your right hand's palm- you've started a GREASE FIRE!
How the heck do you put out a grease fire again?? Besides throwing a cup of water on it, you mean.
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nitidjubilism
Plucky Tot
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Post by nitidjubilism on May 10, 2016 19:20:01 GMT
>Smother the fire with a blanket
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 10, 2016 20:26:54 GMT
>Argo: Smother the fire with a blanketRight! Right! You SMOTHER a fire to put it out! You quickly check the counter for blankets. NOPE. NOTHING HERE. You run into the living room and-- >Zazerpan: Lend a HandZazerpan's disembodied RIGHT HAND, the one holding a crystal ball, somehow rolls into your path. You TRIP over the STONE OBJECT and land face first into the COUCH. While you briefly lament your throbbing foot, you look over the couch for something to smother the fire with. There's an EMBROIDERED PILLOW but you think your mother would KILL YOU for using that against a grease fire. >Argo: Check upstairs.
You LASS SCRAMBLE up the stairs, although it's more of a LIMPING SCRAMBLE, due to your still throbbing foot. You check the bathroom... Naturally, you happen to be FRESH OUT OF TOWELS. But you're not looking for towels, you're looking for BLANKETS.
>Argo: Check Closet!You Check the closet for towels or blankets. Surely there's something in here that your mother won't mind you SACRIFICING for the sake of the house. ...You spend fifteen seconds staring at an empty closet. Did your mother empty the thing out when she left or something?? COME ON, MOM! You enter your mother's bedroom on a SNEAKING SUSPICION... Sure enough, piled on the other side of the room, hidden from the door's line of sight by the BED ITSELF, is a PILE OF TOWELS AND BLANKETS. You CAPTCHALOGUE everything that's SUFFICIENTLY GENERIC AND REPLACEABLE, and RUSH BACK DOWNSTAIRS. >Put out firesYes, fires, plural. At some point the SMOKE reached a FIRE ALARM and the KITCHEN'S SPRINKLERS went off. Grease fires being grease fires... The stove top blaze has SPREAD to the curtains over the window and are making their way towards the FRIDGE. You start throwing blankets and towels on the fires with RECKLESS ABANDON. Some of them CATCH ON FIRE and do little to stop the blaze, others seem to smother the flames well enough. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, how can blankets and towels be so flammable??? You've run out of things to THROW ON THE FIRE in hopes of stopping it and there's still a fire going on. You return back to your mother's BEDROOM for more blankets, this time, avoiding the ZAZERPAN HAND and reluctantly grabbing some of your LEAST FAVORITE PRINTED BLANKETS. >Argo: put out flames.
You manage to successfully quell the flames after another round of SMOTHERING. ...The Kitchen is A MESS. You've gained another level to your ECHELADDER. Tabby Flambe ==> Mothering Our Son Ash.Your Mom is going to KILL YOU when she sees this mess. Your drawing tablet continues to CHIME, despite the thin layer of SOOT covering its surface.
>Argo: Wipe off screen and see who was bugging you--arachnidsGambit [ AG] began Trolling arsenicCataclysm [ AC] @ 1:11 A.M.- AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping
AG: Ping~!
AG: :::
--arachnidsGambit [ AG] stopped Trolling arsenicCataclysm [ AC] @ 1:12 A.M.- What the furrick was this troll trying to do? They made you start a fire!!! You BLOCK them on principal. DAVE is the one pestering you right now. TG: yo
TG: snack run completed
TG: my stomach is full
TG: not even going to bother going to target that place is never open this late
TG: walmart on the other hand is just rife for the fun times--arsenicCataclysm [ AC] is IDLE!-- TG: ...argo hello?
TG: did something happen while i was chowng down or something--arsenicCataclysm [ AC] is IDLE!-- TG: you still afk?
--arsenicCataclysm [ AC] is IDLE!-- TG: k ill wait thenAC: yes (TG: oh hey youre back
TG: what happenedAC: i started a grease fire and nearly burnt my house downTG: see this is exactly why thirteen year olds should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchenAC: dave XOOTG: kidding kidding
TG: so did you handle it
TG: youre not in danger of dying because of smoke inhalation or anything rightAC: im fine, dave.
AC: i just burnt up a lot of blankets and towels though (
AC: *AC's mom is going to kill her X(( *TG: ouch
TG: but yeah this is why me and bro go out to stores for our food needs
TG: neither of us can cook worth a damnAC: you're not helping, dave!!!
AC: im so screwed
AC: shes probably going to ground me and not let me open my presents and im never going to be let near a stove again and shell probably kick me off the internet for the rest of my life anndddddddd aaaaaaaaaa
AC: THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EFURRRR >XOO
AC: what do i do? ??TG: retreat to room
TG: lock door
TG: ?
TG: PROFIT.AC:  | DAVE!!!TG: but seriously just
TG: i dunno maybe you should just write a note or somethaklfhdAC: dave?? :??TG: This is Dave's Bro, temporarily borrowing Dave's Phone.
TG: Your Mom isn't home right now, is she?AC: no. shes at work.TG: Of course.
TG: The fire was an accident, right?AC: yeah...
AC: ...i accidentally captchalogued the frying pan while food was in itTG: And how did that happen?
TG: Wait. No, I don't think I want to know.
TG: If I know your mother, she's just going to be happy you're alright.
TG: She'll be pissed as hell; but she'll be happy.
TG: I'll message her and let her know what happened and try to talk her down from anything serious.AC: thanks daves broTG: Call me Dirk.
TG: Now then, I'd recommend you go to bed, but somehow I get the feeling you and the rest of us are going to have a very busy night ahead of us.
-turntechGodhead [ TG] stopped Pestering arsenicCataclysm [ AC] at 1:23 A.M.- Dave starts pestering you again a few moments later, but you don't feel like talking right now. You replace the frying pan with your drawing tablet in your Sylladex. You feel absolutely terrible. What a sucky birthday, you muse as you limp back up to your room. You really are Chat Noir, aren't you? Little miss bad luck incarnate. It isn't until you've slammed the door behind you and started slipping to the floor and are crying in a tired daze that you realize that Dave's Bro and your Mom apparently KNOW EACH OTHER. It is with this startling revelation that you start to FALL ASLEEP.
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Post by Neptz on May 10, 2016 21:46:01 GMT
As a bit of a "what if" and "Just for fun," if this were an actual art based adventure... Kid Spites!Dave, Jade, and Argo aren't spoilery as being my initial choices for the B1 Kid places, but who took Jade's B1 role as being the Island Girl? Terezi, as it turns out! As she stands right now, Argo isn't wearing the coat. Where does the coat come from even? No idea, as of yet. XD Just as a tip, if a character has light hair; it is typically represented as white. Or at least that's how it seems to be. The kids with black hair all have normal-ish hair colors, so it's safe to assume that Dave and Rose are blonde or not some rad anime hair color. Then again I'm just a suckler for canon, so w/e. Do you what you want because a fanventurer is free. |
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 10, 2016 22:19:33 GMT
As a bit of a "what if" and "Just for fun," if this were an actual art based adventure... Kid Spites!Dave, Jade, and Argo aren't spoilery as being my initial choices for the B1 Kid places, but who took Jade's B1 role as being the Island Girl? Terezi, as it turns out! As she stands right now, Argo isn't wearing the coat. Where does the coat come from even? No idea, as of yet. XD Just as a tip, if a character has light hair; it is typically represented as white. Or at least that's how it seems to be. The kids with black hair all have normal-ish hair colors, so it's safe to assume that Dave and Rose are blonde or not some rad anime hair color. Then again I'm just a suckler for canon, so w/e. Do you what you want because a fanventurer is free. Fun Facts: I was going to stick to the usual hair color convention... but.... Nepeta/Argo was the first one I worked on, and the modified hair piece just looked weird without a hair color in it. The brightly colored shirt and the darker colored pants and socks/shoes just made the whole thing look off. When I did (Te)Rezi, I wanted the kids to be a matching set, so I gave her a hair color too, but a more bleached shade of the color used on Nepeta/Argo. Jade ended up just getting some broken up Bangs, but didn't need a recolor since her hair was already a darker color. ...Then I got to Dave. By the time I got to him I just was all, "Wouldn't it be funny if he didn't have a different hair piece at all and just bucked the trend set by the other three?" So I left his hair piece untouched. The reason for that in Derermibent!Canon is that he just dyed/bleached his hair stark white; if we'd gotten around to being Dave by now, this would have been brought up. For now though, it's just a funny art quirk for a fun 'what if' sprite. :33 |
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dldracorex
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Post by dldracorex on May 23, 2016 7:11:56 GMT
> Argo: Dream.
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researcherwisemon
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Post by researcherwisemon on May 23, 2016 15:50:39 GMT
>Argo: Dream.
Dream? What do you mean, dream?
You are wide awake. You're in your room, and everything is purple...
Okay, that's not right. SOMETHING IS WRONG. And you don't just mean the lingering... no, OVERPOWERING scent of SMOKE, either.
> ==>
Smoke drifts in through the windows- both the one that is where your door should be, and the one that should be welded shut. You stand to your feet and find gravity lacking.
You are now FLOATING.
You float over to your bed and then bounce lightly up to the window.
> ==>
In the distance you see a TOWER OF VIOLET, standing in stark contrast to the brilliant orange flames and the choking black smoke rising up from the city below.
The Flames move wildly, but in a single direction, as if the wind blows constantly in that single way.
You spread your wings and EXIT THE WINDOW.
> ==>
You are now free floating above the the BURNING CITY, and not just burning, but tumbling.
The Ground suddenly lurches away in the opposite direction of the flames, revealing that the city is SPINNING.
You make haste towards the tower matching your own, hoping to meet the resident inside before something goes horribly wrong.
> ==>
You Enter the Tower.
> ==>
Lying on the ground, looking up terrified at the room's intruder is DAVE STRIDER. What is he doing here??
You look towards the INTRUDER, and see that he is a tall man wielding a sword.
His skin is a glistening white that is covered in just enough soot to reveal shell seams. His skin is made out of CARAPACE. A pair of beady eyes glance out from behind a pair of SPIKY ANIME SHADES.
> ==>
You draw your CLAWS, and enter a STANCE from memories of another life, of another dream.
The PROSPITIAN INTRUDER growls, and the CRACKED RING on his finger flares up with power.
> VWORP
That is when ANOTHER DAVE appears, this one wearing not the dark violet robes of you and the Dave on the floor, but instead bright CHERRY and dark BLOOD red, There is a GEAR on his chest, broken previously some unknown DAMAGE.
He swings a sword, and the Intruder turns his back to you and the first Dave to block the new Dave's attack.
"RUN!" New Dave yells, and his voice shocks you to action.
You grab the Dave in purple, and you EXIT back out the window.
> ==>
Looking back for just a heart beat, you see Dave wrestling a large TURN TABLE away from the PROSPITIAN INTRUDER, and then they both scratch at its surface in different directions.
There is a WARP, and then the other Dave is gone. The INTRUDER seems surprised by this turn of events, but then the MOON OF DERSE spins away out from under you a moment later, and you and Dave turn to watch the thing go.
It tumbles and tumbles and spins away towards a glowing BLUE AND WHITE ORB, leaving a trail of smoke behind it as it goes.
You turn back the way you've come, and see a distant ASTEROID RING.
Dave nods, that looks safe.
> ==>
You fly.
> ==>
You glance back once more, just in time to watch the remains of the MOON vanish against the blue orb with a flash of GREEN AND RED LIGHT.
Who knows where it landed. You can only hope that the Intruder was still stuck there and that they had no way of escaping easily.
Oh well, it's not your problem any longer.
> Meanwhile...
Hours in the past, HOUSTON, TEXAS.
The nights is quiet, it is not quite even TEN P.M. yet, and the city seems to hold its breath in anticipation.
There is a FLASH OF LIGHT high above in the stars, and then a streaking FIRE BALL strikes an apartment building.
Car alarms go off across the city.
> ==>
A Young Boy stands on top of his rooftop alongside his BROTHER, both watch as the building is quickly swarmed upon by the fire department to put the blaze out.
At some point, they leave to get food.
Then, they return. The BLAZE has been EXTINGUISHED.
As they make their way back up the stairs to the ROOFTOP APARTMENT, the BOY texts on his phone to a dear friend. His Brother SWIPES the phone as they enter, and talks to the boy's friend for all of a few minutes before returning the cellphone and starting to text on his own.
> ==>
The young boy returns to his room, and begins texting his friend anew. NO REPLY.
He takes a moment to look out the window across the street towards the once burning building.
Hold Up...
There is someone CLIMBING OUT OF THE RUINS OF THE APARTMENT BUILDING! Someone who is wearing the BROTHER'S SHADES and holding his SWORD.
There is a moment of DOUBLE VISION- as the Boy sees the same figure towering above him, as well as climbing out of the ruins, looking much less covered in soot- and the Boy's WAKING SELF falls ASLEEP.
> ==>
The Boy, of course, was DAVE STRIDER, who you now are, and are presently LOST AND CONFUSED as your friend ARGO drags your DREAMSELF ASS towards a random meteor.
What just happened exactly?
Your DREAM IPHONE buzzes from your DREAM PANTS POCKET.
You're being pestered by another god-damned troll. Just WONDERFUL.
You'll wait to answer once you've gotten somewhere SAFE, like that large and looming METEOR with a random ass FROG TEMPLE hiding on it.
> Dave: Land Already
You and Argo LAND at the Temple Entrance. Your dream phone continues to BUZZ.
Argo looks into the dark and looming entrance of the FROG TEMPLE, her green eyes blinking. Then, she looks to you with a look that asks a simple question.
What Now?
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nitidjubilism
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Post by nitidjubilism on May 24, 2016 19:55:25 GMT
> Dave: Be Cool
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( thats not funny!
| DAVE!!!
