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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jul 23, 2016 5:43:37 GMT
Poison self, DUH!
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NeoTTolemo
Gadabout Pipsqueak
Posts: 126
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NeoTTolemo on Jul 23, 2016 8:27:24 GMT
He has loneliness issues because his throne is too poisoned for others to get near to him.
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Post by cryptologicalMystic on Jul 23, 2016 17:25:22 GMT
He wants to build an immunity to jellyfish poison, because he doesn't like the view from the throne. The view was alright when the throne was first placed where it was, but now there's a better view a few miles away.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 24, 2016 2:56:57 GMT
He wants to be the gosh-darn best tap dancer this kingdom has ever seen He has loneliness issues because his throne is too poisoned for others to get near to him. He wants to build an immunity to jellyfish poison, because he doesn't like the view from the throne. The view was alright when the throne was first placed where it was, but now there's a better view a few miles away. ...Wow. Tough crowd. SOMEONE'S not going to last the night. |
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Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 24, 2016 2:57:33 GMT
Is it you? Please tell me it's you. Do you have any idea how awful it is to write this thing?
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 24, 2016 2:58:13 GMT
What are you talking about? I'm talking about Asher Prime. Besides, how on Earth can it be so awful to write something as perfect as me?
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 24, 2016 2:59:22 GMT
.....perfect? Perfect is.... a word, yes. Also, if you were anywhere near as good as you say you are, you WOULDN'T ANNOUNCE THAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO KILL OFF THE ONLY CHARACTER WITH A NAME.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 24, 2016 3:00:17 GMT
Hey. I have a name. And writing in all caps that the only character who isn't me is about to die draws a little more attention to the eyes than my statement in nice neat and clean lowercase.
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 24, 2016 3:00:50 GMT
Either way: Has it occurred to you that maybe we shouldn't kill him off IN THE THIRD UPDATE.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 24, 2016 3:01:18 GMT
Hey, only yesterday you proved that I can't go against submissions. Why would I ever dream of going against that? Anyway, let's get this over with:
Asher Prime has had it with his life. He has no friends. He's bored, lonely, and his throne is surrounded by dead people. He decides to do something productive for once in his life. He tries standing on his throne so he can see better. AND IT WORKS. He's revolutionized the idea of looking at things. He is the star. It's him. In fact, he's so happy with himself that he attempts to become this world's first only tap dancer. Unfortunately, because he attempts to do this while standing on a chair and without any prior practice, he falls. It doesn't end well. He lands face-first in the jellyfish and dies. However, as one last act of magnanimity to his people, he does the unthinkable: He picks up the jellyfish and throws it back into the ocean.
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 24, 2016 3:03:22 GMT
...Congratulations. ThreadStuck, I'm not even sure if you deserve this, but I'm giving this to you anyways. Just, try to do better next time, alright?
END STORY 1
CHARACTER UNLOCKED: Asher Prime
TRAITS:
Clumsy
Royalty in some horrible dystopia
LIKES:
Nice views
Tap-dancing
DISLIKES:
Seafood
(TO THE READER: What this means is that ThreadStuck can now use Asher Prime in future stories without being prompted to. As the thread grows, stories will likely grow longer and ThreadStuck will become more and more competent, as he will become able to write more and more of himself on his own.)
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 24, 2016 3:04:29 GMT
Free stuff! Hey, maybe you're not so bad after all! So, what now? How shall we start story 2?
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Post by Neptz on Jul 24, 2016 3:20:37 GMT
>Asher Second
>He's the exact opposite of Asher Prime
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Post by NopeCopter on Jul 24, 2016 3:23:04 GMT
Story 2 takes place in the middle of space.
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jul 24, 2016 3:25:29 GMT
> It's a high stakes murder mystery
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Post by Con Air on Jul 24, 2016 3:28:47 GMT
Be centered around a piano
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Post by cryptologicalMystic on Jul 24, 2016 17:02:24 GMT
I don't think we should have another Asher. How about... uh...
Leopold.
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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jul 24, 2016 17:28:50 GMT
>The Adventures of McDeuce the Gunslinger!
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Post by cryptologicalMystic on Jul 24, 2016 19:13:22 GMT
I wonder what happens if ThreadStuck is given contradictory commands? Does one get forcibly discarded, or does something worse happen?
(Also, we seem to be heading towards detective noir in SPACE. This pleases me immensely.)
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Post by heyitskane on Jul 24, 2016 19:37:24 GMT
>The story takes place on a malfunctioning freighter ship in sector 759 of the belgarth system.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 25, 2016 20:21:17 GMT
Story 2 takes place in the middle of space. > It's a high stakes murder mystery >The Adventures of McDeuce the Gunslinger! Be centered around a piano >The story takes place on a malfunctioning freighter ship in sector 759 of the belgarth system. This will be fun. Let's get started. Our new hero, McDeuce the Gunslinger, is on a space freighter in sector 759 of the Belgarth System, when suddenly, tragedy strikes. Someone smashed the only piano on the ship! Also, Asher Prime #2 was found dead beneath it. But let's not get carried away. |
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 25, 2016 20:27:39 GMT
You can't exactly drop a piano on someone in space. There's no gravity.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 25, 2016 20:28:08 GMT
You're right, we need to make the mood more serious.
The possible culprits of this heinous act who are still alive are: Asher Prime #3, Asher Prime #4, Asher Prime #5, Asher Prime #6 and Asher Prime #7.
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 25, 2016 20:29:49 GMT
This is quite possibly the worst setup to a murder mystery I've ever seen. ALL YOUR SUSPECTS ARE THE SAME PERSON. Also, what happened to serious? And that pun was terrible.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 25, 2016 20:30:23 GMT
Now, being the detective/gunslinger you are, you decide to round them all up, and announce that you are starting a formal interrogation to figure out who did it. To show you mean business, you shoot Asher Prime #4 on the spot. Now what?
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