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Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 25, 2016 20:31:01 GMT
McDeuce: End your misery ASAP.
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Post by conair on Jul 25, 2016 20:38:34 GMT
McDonald's: Send the body and the piano to space forensics.
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 25, 2016 22:48:24 GMT
(And because I didn't use the command that asked, I'm going to answer here: My hope is to use every command submitted. They may not be used the way they were intended to be used. They could be used in later updates. They could even be used in later stories. But they will probably be used.)
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jul 25, 2016 23:55:34 GMT
> Begin trial. All the Ashers are a potential suspect - even the dead ones. Time to get to the bottom of this.
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Post by cryptologicalMystic on Jul 26, 2016 0:32:44 GMT
Obviously the Ashers are clones.
And maybe the ship has some sort of artificial gravity. Or the piano could have been thrown at a high speed. Gravity may be missing in space, but inertia definitely isn't.
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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jul 26, 2016 4:35:27 GMT
>Pull out gun, fan the hammer, shoot them all and get the REAL suspects
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NeoTTolemo
Gadabout Pipsqueak
Posts: 126
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NeoTTolemo on Jul 27, 2016 17:22:06 GMT
Resurrect dead Asher.
Interrogate all Ashers, threatening them with deadly seafood.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 28, 2016 6:00:38 GMT
McDonald's: Send the body and the piano to space forensics. As far as you're concerned, you ARE space forensics. > Begin trial. All the Ashers are a potential suspect - even the dead ones. Time to get to the bottom of this. How can you get to the bottom when you're in space, where down isn't a direction? Besides, the piano is doing a great job of holding down Asher Prime #2, who is currently at the bottom of this. Resurrect dead Asher. Interrogate all Ashers, threatening them with deadly seafood. Which one? You're starting to lose track of the Ashers. And there's no seafood in space, save for the occasional dolphin. |
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 28, 2016 6:01:20 GMT
Did you just successfully respond to every suggestion you're not saving for a better time WITHOUT doing something stupid like killing the main character in the second update? Also, is that thing about a dolphin supposed to be a reference to something? Because I don't get it.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 28, 2016 6:01:53 GMT
You wouldn't. Also, who said I was done with this update?
You ask Asher Prime #7 if he saw who killed Asher Prime #2. He meekly mumbles "yes". You ask him who did it, and he stutters out that he saw you do it. Well, now what?
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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jul 28, 2016 12:04:04 GMT
>There must be an EVIL DOPPELGANGER in our midst!
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NeoTTolemo
Gadabout Pipsqueak
Posts: 126
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NeoTTolemo on Jul 28, 2016 15:12:09 GMT
Interrogate self.
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Post by Ashen44 on Jul 28, 2016 21:38:12 GMT
>murder Asher Prime #7
>consume amnestics to forget your horrible act
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Post by Asher Prime #7 on Jul 28, 2016 22:43:11 GMT
NO WAIT I TAKE IT BACK
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Post by conair on Jul 29, 2016 0:05:54 GMT
Examine the piano and the corpse for clues.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 31, 2016 18:53:03 GMT
You certainly didn't kill Asher Prime #2. >There must be an EVIL DOPPELGANGER in our midst! Yes, but which one is it? Asher Prime #3, Asher Prime #5, Asher Prime #6, or Asher Prime #7? Until you know which one is evil, you think you'll try a different approach. >murder Asher Prime #7 >consume amnestics to forget your horrible act According to him, though, you already did that second bit. You think you would remember doing something so foolish. As you're contemplating what to do about it, you realize that maybe Asher Prime #7 probably doesn't have all of them numbered the way that you do. He may have thought that #4 was #2. To stop this from turning into an Abbott and Costello parody, you get rid of #7. Examine the piano and the corpse for clues. Fair enough. You head over to the corpse. As you get closer, you start to hear... is that.... snoring? There is definitely snoring coming from the corpse. |
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Jul 31, 2016 18:53:55 GMT
WHY. Why on earth did I ever think creating you was a good idea.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Jul 31, 2016 18:54:30 GMT
We're not on Earth. This is on a space freighter in sector 759 of the Belgarth System.
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Post by [Meme Friend] TheOddISee on Jul 31, 2016 19:00:35 GMT
>Quick! Throw all the Asher Primes on the corpse! It must be a zombie! Then check to make sure.
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quixoticTokki
Void
baby gangsta
Posts: 702
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by quixoticTokki on Jul 31, 2016 19:20:00 GMT
> This corpse is defective! Better bash it on the head, and make sure it behaves properly.
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NeoTTolemo
Gadabout Pipsqueak
Posts: 126
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by NeoTTolemo on Jul 31, 2016 21:23:04 GMT
Gently caress corpse to seduce it.
Play oboe. Alternatively, play sexophone. Alternatively, play Ultra-Violence Cuestick on Asher Prime #7.
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Post by Piono on Aug 1, 2016 0:21:01 GMT
>frigate: tire of these aimless shenanigans and end the story abruptly by becoming your own character and diving headfirst into the nearest star.
Congrats, we got to introduce TWO new characters before everything fell apart. Maybe more, depends on how long it takes for the frigate to find a star and/or how productive we are in the meantime.
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Post by ThreadStuck on Aug 2, 2016 18:01:31 GMT
> This corpse is defective! Better bash it on the head, and make sure it behaves properly. >Quick! Throw all the Asher Primes on the corpse! It must be a zombie! Then check to make sure. You realize that the corpse is in fact defective. It's not dead yet! And with no corpse, you don't have a murder mystery to solve! You solve this problem by throwing the bodies of Asher Prime #4 and #7 at him. You've muffled the snoring. You don't actually know how to play "Oboe". Besides, if you recall correctly, you remember that the rulebook you had was full of someone else's commentary and notes. Without those notes, you would have been lost for good. It's as if the people who wrote it were understaffed- |
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loading
Raise of the Conductor's Baton
Posts: 435
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Post by loading on Aug 2, 2016 18:02:01 GMT
Ok, give the music puns a rest. I may need to take measures against you for that. >frigate: tire of these aimless shenanigans and end the story abruptly by becoming your own character and diving headfirst into the nearest star. I'm sorry, but let's stick to animate objects only for now. We're- |
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Post by ThreadStuck on Aug 2, 2016 18:02:26 GMT
Yeah, I don't want everything to suddenly be able to take commands.
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