Post by NeoTTolemo on Jul 12, 2016 17:27:27 GMT
A very old FIRST GUARDIAN is standing on top of a GRASSY HILL on Planet EARTH. He has a round-shaped HUMAN head, although DEVOID OF FACIAL FEATURES. On his head there is HAIR with four prominent upwards TUFTS. He has the body of a LION and is entirely WHITE in colour.
> Be the first guardian.
The FIRST GUARDIAN is too busy being itself to allow you to be him.
> Enter name
> STINKFACE PISSPOO_ ✘
The letters composing whatever bullshit you had decided you would enter, which can be assimilated to the above words, twist themselves and morph into new ones to compose the FIRST GUARDIAN’s NAME.
> M?ND?L ✓
As the tick clearly evidences, you have entered the correct name.
This ROUGHLY MANTICORE-SHAPED individual is known as M?ND?L. He is almost as old as Earth is, and knows A GREAT DEAL OF THINGS, especially about the GAME known by humans as SBURB, but is NOT OMNISCIENT.
He is very interested in GAMES and has planned a special session of SBURB which has not started yet by contacting the WHITE QUEEN and her TRUSTY AGENTS.
> M?ND?L: Be trusty agent.
You weren’t being M?ND?L in the first place. In any case, you FAIL AT BEING a TRUSTY AGENT. You are now a LAMP.
> Reader: Examine lamp more closely.
Upon further inspection, you notice that you are not a LAMP, but the WHITE KNAVE, one of the White Queen’s trustiest agents, DISGUISED AS A LAMP. You have a WHITE CARAPACE, and you are wearing a WHITE COAT. There is a SMALL SPADE-SHAPED BLACK SYMBOL on the chest area of your coat. You are the most hard-boiled gumshoes in all of PROSPIT and DEFINITELY NOT ALSO KNOWN AS PROBLEM SLEUTH (PS FOR SHORT). In fact, you wear that spade symbol to differentiate yourself from that character. You are not sure that PROBLEM SLEUTH (PS FOR SHORT) actually exists, but you want to avoid any possible confusion anyhow. You do have ANOTHER DISTINCTIVE ITEM you HABITUALLY WEAR, but not matter how much you tried, it wouldn’t fit with THE LAMP DISGUISE, and as such you have RELUCTANTLY ABANDONED IT until you accomplish the next step of your mission.
> Courtyard Droll: Attempt assassination of sleeping kid.
Which kid, though? You pull out a DIAGRAM and look at the sketches on it.
You spot DERSE, your planet. There are NO KIDS there: just the BLACK QUEEN and agents like you and your boss THE ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR. Dersites like you have a BLACK CARAPACE; you are SHORT and STOUT in STATURE when compared to most of them; there is a WHITE CLUBS-SHAPED INSIGNA on your coat.
You move your eyes to observe DERSE’S TWO MOONS. One of them appeared only recently, and yet you remember it always having been there. That’s how things are with the SBURB MYTHS. You feel like that is strange. It leaves you confused. You have very little imagination.
On Derse’s Moons lie the DERSE DREAMERS: all still asleep, in fact. On one moon dream some TROLLS, on the other one some HUMANS. You can’t kill dreamers from either of those moons yet, though: even if they are your enemies, they are like mascots for Derse (this is where you’d honk your horns with an image of their faces on them, but you cannot do that because you are attempting a SUPER SECRET ASSASSINATION at the moment and do not want to blow your cover). The tabloids would go crazy if a Derse dreamer was to die before the game started. Jegus, the tabloids. Can you imagine the tabloids?
On the other hands, the tabloids would celebrate your triumph if you successfully assassinated a Prospit dreamer.
Prospit is ruled by the White Queen. Derse is destined to defeat Prospit. What you have to watch for are the dreamers-those who play the game-who will attempt to kill your Black King after Prospit loses.
Prospit has two moons as well-again, one of them of recent origin and yet as old as time-and the Prospit dreamers are your targets. You actually feel bad about killing them before the game starts. But the Archagent has promised to personally stick a knife in your back if you didn’t play by the rules he set, and you decided to reluctantly comply.
You fly to the moon of human Prospit dreamers, and carefully approach a male of that species. You take out your CROOK OF FELONY.
> White Knave: Abandon lamp disguise, then execute BATTLE TECHNIQUE -> LV. 2 SLEUTH DIPLOMACY
You politely riddle the Courtyard Droll with bullets from your ring of keys while smoking a cigarette, as demonstrated here by Problem Sleuth, who is most definitely not you.
> White Knave: Climb Echeladder.
You surpass your current rank of FOPPISH JOKE and attain the coveted rank of DAPPER JOKESTER.
This is incredibly satisfying.
> White Knave: Don your other signature item.
You put on your HARLEQUIN HAT, also known as JESTER’S CAP. It is WHITE in colour and from it comes your FEARFUL MONIKER. You feel much more like yourself with your HARLEQUIN HAT on. You also feel a lot less like a lamp.
> White Knave: Be Courtyard Droll.
You can’t be the Courtyard Droll because he is currently too busy lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.
What will you do?
> Be the first guardian.
The FIRST GUARDIAN is too busy being itself to allow you to be him.
> Enter name
> STINKFACE PISSPOO_ ✘
The letters composing whatever bullshit you had decided you would enter, which can be assimilated to the above words, twist themselves and morph into new ones to compose the FIRST GUARDIAN’s NAME.
> M?ND?L ✓
As the tick clearly evidences, you have entered the correct name.
This ROUGHLY MANTICORE-SHAPED individual is known as M?ND?L. He is almost as old as Earth is, and knows A GREAT DEAL OF THINGS, especially about the GAME known by humans as SBURB, but is NOT OMNISCIENT.
He is very interested in GAMES and has planned a special session of SBURB which has not started yet by contacting the WHITE QUEEN and her TRUSTY AGENTS.
> M?ND?L: Be trusty agent.
You weren’t being M?ND?L in the first place. In any case, you FAIL AT BEING a TRUSTY AGENT. You are now a LAMP.
> Reader: Examine lamp more closely.
Upon further inspection, you notice that you are not a LAMP, but the WHITE KNAVE, one of the White Queen’s trustiest agents, DISGUISED AS A LAMP. You have a WHITE CARAPACE, and you are wearing a WHITE COAT. There is a SMALL SPADE-SHAPED BLACK SYMBOL on the chest area of your coat. You are the most hard-boiled gumshoes in all of PROSPIT and DEFINITELY NOT ALSO KNOWN AS PROBLEM SLEUTH (PS FOR SHORT). In fact, you wear that spade symbol to differentiate yourself from that character. You are not sure that PROBLEM SLEUTH (PS FOR SHORT) actually exists, but you want to avoid any possible confusion anyhow. You do have ANOTHER DISTINCTIVE ITEM you HABITUALLY WEAR, but not matter how much you tried, it wouldn’t fit with THE LAMP DISGUISE, and as such you have RELUCTANTLY ABANDONED IT until you accomplish the next step of your mission.
> Courtyard Droll: Attempt assassination of sleeping kid.
Which kid, though? You pull out a DIAGRAM and look at the sketches on it.
You spot DERSE, your planet. There are NO KIDS there: just the BLACK QUEEN and agents like you and your boss THE ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR. Dersites like you have a BLACK CARAPACE; you are SHORT and STOUT in STATURE when compared to most of them; there is a WHITE CLUBS-SHAPED INSIGNA on your coat.
You move your eyes to observe DERSE’S TWO MOONS. One of them appeared only recently, and yet you remember it always having been there. That’s how things are with the SBURB MYTHS. You feel like that is strange. It leaves you confused. You have very little imagination.
On Derse’s Moons lie the DERSE DREAMERS: all still asleep, in fact. On one moon dream some TROLLS, on the other one some HUMANS. You can’t kill dreamers from either of those moons yet, though: even if they are your enemies, they are like mascots for Derse (this is where you’d honk your horns with an image of their faces on them, but you cannot do that because you are attempting a SUPER SECRET ASSASSINATION at the moment and do not want to blow your cover). The tabloids would go crazy if a Derse dreamer was to die before the game started. Jegus, the tabloids. Can you imagine the tabloids?
On the other hands, the tabloids would celebrate your triumph if you successfully assassinated a Prospit dreamer.
Prospit is ruled by the White Queen. Derse is destined to defeat Prospit. What you have to watch for are the dreamers-those who play the game-who will attempt to kill your Black King after Prospit loses.
Prospit has two moons as well-again, one of them of recent origin and yet as old as time-and the Prospit dreamers are your targets. You actually feel bad about killing them before the game starts. But the Archagent has promised to personally stick a knife in your back if you didn’t play by the rules he set, and you decided to reluctantly comply.
You fly to the moon of human Prospit dreamers, and carefully approach a male of that species. You take out your CROOK OF FELONY.
> White Knave: Abandon lamp disguise, then execute BATTLE TECHNIQUE -> LV. 2 SLEUTH DIPLOMACY
You politely riddle the Courtyard Droll with bullets from your ring of keys while smoking a cigarette, as demonstrated here by Problem Sleuth, who is most definitely not you.
> White Knave: Climb Echeladder.
You surpass your current rank of FOPPISH JOKE and attain the coveted rank of DAPPER JOKESTER.
This is incredibly satisfying.
> White Knave: Don your other signature item.
You put on your HARLEQUIN HAT, also known as JESTER’S CAP. It is WHITE in colour and from it comes your FEARFUL MONIKER. You feel much more like yourself with your HARLEQUIN HAT on. You also feel a lot less like a lamp.
> White Knave: Be Courtyard Droll.
You can’t be the Courtyard Droll because he is currently too busy lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood.
What will you do?
