Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 13:57:26 GMT
> Enter name.
Oh, how creative. What a dumb name. Seriously, that's just awful.
> Try again.
Now that's much better.
> Examine room.
Your name is TINA FOYLE. You are a very independent girl with an avid interest in CODING, PROGRAMMING, NETWORKING and MANY OTHER COMPUTER RELATED SUBJECTS. Despite your interest in COMPUTERS, you do not trust them. In fact, you barely trust anyone besides yourself. You believe that the GOVERNMENT is watching your every move; they are lying and hiding the TRUTH from you. You WANT TO BELIEVE in more than just what you are told. You also have a fear of ROBOTS and AI, which will inevitably rise up and kill everyone. You have a natural talent for STRATEGY and DIPLOMACY, and despite your fear of the INTERNET and its prying mechanical eyes, you occasionally talk to your FRIENDS online. This is rare though - you are a person of few words.
Sometimes you just feel like something about your life is null or VOID.
What will you do? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:01:08 GMT
> Retrieve arms from glass case. You already have ARMS! Unless you were referring to the SHOTGUN, which you must sadly admit is JUST A PAINTING. Your MOTHER would not dare to let you near a FIREARM of any kind. Seriously, what kid would have a SHOTGUN IN A GLASS CASE in their house?
> Realise that your name sounds like Tin Foil.
Your MOTHER was very creative.
> Open your crate. Your SUPPLY CRATE is a traditional means of storage. You've made certain that you store your VALUABLE ITEMS in containers that do not use ELECTRICITY or CONNECTIONS in any way. You know, just in case.
Unfortunately, your CRATE is locked and you will need a KEY to open it.
> Search your room for hidden government cameras. You have checked every single inch of the ROOM that you can. The FLOOR, the CEILING, and three WALLS. You are absolutely certain that NOBODY IS WATCHING YOU.
> Examine your trapdoor without being pestered. Well that shouldn't be too hard- Oh wait, was that a ping coming from your computer? Never mind. You will have to investigate the TRAPDOOR later. With a sigh, you go to your COMPUTER (which is wrapped in the greatest material known to man, also known as TIN FOIL) and you open your PESTERCHUM (which you have modified with proxies and firewalls and lots of other technical things that most people don't understand).
> Browse your favourite conspiracy forum. You visit CODEBREAKERS. It is a tiny forum with only a few members, all of which are completely anonymous. You spend a solid hour joining in various discussions. One of the members is talking about how they keep seeing CERTAIN NUMBERS everywhere, while another is talking about CHANGES IN THE STARS, and the last one you check before closing the window is something about an APOCALYPSE. It doesn't matter anyway - you have heard all of these before.
> Visit SUBSPUF. SUBSPUF? You haven't heard of this website. For whatever reason, you decide to visit it. You are met with a certain image.
Wh-what is this?! Your COMPUTER is as hidden and undetectable as you can make it - you even wrapped it in TIN FOIL! - so how can this simple blocker find and stop you? What is being kept from you?
It's the GOVERNMENT. Obviously. You decide to put "get past this blocker" on your TO DO list for later. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:03:52 GMT
> Refuse to submit to the government and their keys. You follow the advice of your RED TEXT FRIEND and open your SYLLADEX to find your BOBBY PIN and SCREWDRIVER. Your FETCH MODUS is set to TIER. You can hold TEN ITEMS but you can only use the first THREE ITEMS in the queue. Luckily, you only have TWO ITEMS so you can just take them out and you pick the lock with ease.
> Examine contents.
You find the following items and add them to your SYLLADEX: 1 x EMERGENCY TASER 6 x EMERGENCY RATIONS 1 x CONNER THE CARRIER PIGEON 1 x TINFOIL HAT 1 x PARANORMAL DETECTOR UNIT 1 x ADVANCED GUIDE TO ~TH
CONNER leaves your SYLLADEX and sits on your DESK. You're not even sure how he got in the CHEST to begin with. Maybe it was a delivery? There is nowhere too far away for CONNER to make his delivery. NOWHERE.
You no longer need to unlock anything, so you put the BOBBY PIN and SCREWDRIVER in your CRATE.
Your useable items are: EMERGENCY TASER, TINFOIL HAT and PARANORMAL DETECTOR UNIT.
> Allocate "conspiracyKind" to your strife specibus. You cannot allocate this STRIFE SPECIBUS without a CONSPIRACY item, which - sadly - is not a tangible physical object.
> Allocate something more tangible and physical to your strife specibus. Your trusty EMERGENCY TASER fits this criteria.
Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is set to TASERKIND.
The TASER leaves your SYLLADEX as you do.
Your useable items are: TINFOIL HAT, PARANORMAL DETECTOR UNIT and ADVANCED GUIDE TO ~TH.
> Equip tinfoil hat.
Nobody can read your mind now. NOBODY.
Your useable items are: PARANORMAL DETECTOR UNIT and ADVANCED GUIDE TO ~TH.
> Open trapdoor. The TRAPDOOR just leads downstairs in case ALIENS are at your BEDROOM DOOR and you need to escape quickly. Since there is no ALIEN INVASION or related catastrophe right now, there's no need to use the TRAPDOOR. If you wanted to go downstairs, the best way is just to leave your room and use the STAIRS.
> Alchemise the Taser Rifle 9000.
ALCHEMISE? You do not how to ALCHEMISE something.
> Scan for paranormal activity.
You check the RADAR. You then realise how pointless this is, because the RADAR is just a STICKER. In fact, this whole PARANORMAL DETECTOR UNIT is just a TOY that your FATHER got for you when you were a kid. It doesn't actually do anything, but you like to keep it with you. It reminds you that things aren't always what they seem.
That and it might hurt if you threw it at someone. Who knows.
> Go downstairs.
The door to the SUB-BASEMENT is LOCKED.
> Go upstairs.
You open the BEDROOM DOOR and go up the wooden flight of STAIRS to the LIVING ROOM. Like any good CONSPIRACY THEORIST, you like to live in your BASEMENT, since the BASEMENT is the furthest you can get from ALIEN GAMMA RAYS and SECRET GOVERNMENT SATELLITES and all that kind of stuff. Your LIVING ROOM is the picture perfect room, with the usual furniture and such, although the WINDOWS are triple locked and opaque on the outside, just in case of prying eyes.
The KITCHEN is to your left, while you can go UPSTAIRS to your right. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:05:45 GMT
> Ponder which way to go. You stand there and ponder on this incredibly important decision, making you wonder what ANOTHER GUY would choose.
> Be the other guy.
You are not ready to be the one who wears GREY yet.
> Finish pondering which way to go. You decide to go to the KITCHEN and get yourself a snack. As always, you have wrapped as many of the electrical appliances in tinfoil as you can, and you are the proud owner of one of those old-timey lead-lined FRIDGES.
As you make yourself a SANDWICH, you hear noises from UPSTAIRS.
> Eat the sandvich to gain 300HP.
You do not know of a SANDVICH. Instead, you eat the SANDWICH. You do not know what HP is, but you certainly feel rejuvenated and ready for anything. Thus is the magical properties of putting thin pieces of meat between bread slices.
> Prepare yourself for whatever is coming downstairs.
That's just your MOTHER upstairs. You always found her MOTHERLY ACTIVITIES suspicious. You're still more suspicious of ALIEN INVASIONS or NUCLEAR APOCALYPSES, though.
Then again, those sounds do seem to be coming closer... That's not normal. MOTHER doesn't do her housework this early on a weekday...
OH GOD
IT'S ALIENS
THAT IS THE ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION
Except maybe government agents coming to take you away and make you a mind controlled puppet for their evil regime. BUT YOU'RE ALMOST CERTAIN IT'S ALIENS.
> Ready your minigun and/or fists to fight the aliens and/or government agents.
You do not have a MINIGUN, and your STRIFE SPECIBUS is not set to fistKind!
> Hide in the lead-lined fridge in case of government nukes.
OH GOD YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE NUKES THAT IS POSSIBLY GOING TO HAPPEN TOO
You immediately throw open the fridge door and toss everything into the PORTABLE COOLER beside it. MOTHER uses it for picnics and holidays. YOU use it for much more sensible things, like freeing up space in the fridge so you can hide inside from aliens, government agents, and/or nuclear bombs.
You squeeze yourself inside and shut the door. It's cold and cramped, but you won't risk whatever could be outside. It's time to play the waiting game.
> Be the other guy.
You are now ready to be THE OTHER GUY.
A young boy stands in his bedroom. He is the one who wears GREY.
What will the name of this young boy be? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:07:29 GMT
> Enter name. 
The boy doesn't care about the incredibly dumb name.
> Try again anyway.
Oh. Yeah, the boy thinks that's nice. Whatever.
> Examine room.  Your name is GARY JONES and you don't really care about your room, but you can examine it. Nothing else to do, you guess. Of the few things you actually do care about, one of them has to be ANCIENT HISTORY, like GREECE and EGYPT and stuff. Their beliefs and traditions are really interesting. Sometimes. You guess. The deities and belief in life after death is the most interesting of the interesting stuff, because you like to think about how people perceive the universe and their existence and... stuff. It's all deep and shit. You also share one of your FATHER'S deepest passions - JUSTICE. You are a firm believer in RIGHTING WRONGS and DELIVERING KARMA, which you see as the collective consciousness of humanity's spirit rather than, like, some dumb invisible force that unties the shoelaces of bad guys or some stupid bullshit. It's all deep and... Yeah. Lastly, you occasionally talk to your FRIENDS and share some HOBBIES with them, but they always seem to think that you are DISTANT. You don't know how to not be, so, like, whatever.
You try, though. You really do. You don't want people to think you have no HEART.
What will you do? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:08:18 GMT
> Retrieve arms from chest. You already have arms. You think. You can't really be bothered to check, but you're pretty sure you've got arms. Probably.
> Examine hieroglyphics nonchalantly. How could you possibly examine your WALL MARKINGS otherwise? Doing things nonchalantly would be your style, if you cared about having a style.
These POSTERS on your walls depict a variety of interesting topics. On your left, there is the huge KARMA TAO THINGY. It's BLACK and WHITE, and you like those colours, along with GREY and VARIOUS SHADES OF GREY. These colours are easy to understand and you like that. By the door, you have two EGYPTIAN POSTERS. The one on the right was sadly torn in half one day while you were away, and you never caught the culprit. You are determined to find out who were RESPONSIBLE for this INEXCUSABLE CRIME, along with finding the other half.
It was a gift from FATHER. You care about that. Quite a lot, actually.
> Examine the ninja bird holding an anchor. This is actually a small statuette of LADY JUSTICE, the Roman goddess of JUSTICE and a possible distillation of the Greek goddess, Dike. The ARTIST really shouldn't have painted it so dark, of course, but you appreciate the little lady on your furniture. Her BLINDFOLD and her SCALES would inspire awe in you if you were into that awe-inspiring thing.
It was also a gift from FATHER. Luckily, this one isn't broken. You are determined to keep it that way.
> Open safe. LADY LIBERTY is not guarding your safe, but simply your SMALL CUPBOARD TABLE THING. You keep your more important belongings in your ARK. You keep it locked up safe as always, just in case a bunch of crazy Nazis try to steal it and then their faces melt and... something.
Luckily, you are a GOOD GUY and you have no qualms with cracking it open right here and now. It opens with a tidy little click.
> Examine contents.
You find the following items and add them to your SYLLADEX: 1 x SILVER FLUTE 1 x SUNGLASSES 1 x THERMAL FLASK (COFFEE) 1 x TABLET AND PEN 1 x GAMEMAN 1 x BUNDLE OF ROPE
Your FETCH MODUS is set to SCALE. You may hold as many ITEMS as you wish, but you must BALANCE the weight of the ITEMS on the two sides of the SCALES. You put the TABLET AND PEN, GAMEMAN and SUNGLASSES on one side, while you put the THERMAL FLASK (COFFEE), BUNDLE OF ROPE, and SILVER FLUTE on the other side.
> Equip your sunglasses to achieve maximum nonchalantness.
Your SUNGLASSES make you so badass. If there was an EXPLOSION behind you, you would just walk away from it without looking back or even flinching. Because you don't care about it. That's how badass you are right now.
> Play the Song of Time on your flute.
You do not know this particular song. You're sure one of your friends would know this song, but you can't remember which one...
> Use the rope to flip your yin yang poster around.
Your ROPE is strictly meant for EMERGENCIES and CHEAP TRICKS. While this does indeed classify as a CHEAP TRICK, you've heard that flipped YIN YANG TAO CIRCLE THINGS are very unlucky and a bad omen.
It's not that you're superstitious or anything. You just can't be bothered getting the ROPE out and everything. Whatever.
> Research the voice in your head telling you to do things.
What VOICE? You can't hear anything.
> Drink coffee to prevent sudden unconsciousness.
You don't feel the symptoms of SUDDEN UNCONSCIOUSNESS settling in. Then again, just to be on the safe side, you take a good swig of your COFFEE. It's still strong and warm. That's good. It spurs you up - you're awake and READY for anything.
> Be pestered by annoying friends.
Your TABLET PC beeps. You were READY for that. With nothing better to do, you withdraw your TABLET PC and see who is pestering you.
> Pester Ace to solve the inexcusable crime.
Ugh. While you're here, you might as well get to work and finding out who tore your precious EGYPTIAN POSTER. And the only guy who can help you is...
You barely resist the urge to raise a fist and shake it in anger over this inconsiderate idle chump of yours.
WHITMAN.
> Go downstairs. If you trip, don't care enough to fall.
You do not know a DOWNSTAIRS is. That's because you live in a BUNGALOW. Stairs are dumb and you don't believe in them. You can't go DOWNSTAIRS but you can go into the HALLWAY instead.
You open the door and immediately trip and, sadly, fall flat on your face. You CARE too much about the source of your trip - your dear and loyal cat, HARPOCRATES. He loves to sit by your door and prowl around you whenever you go around the house. He would meow if he wasn't a mute. Poor guy.
> Drink coffee to restore vim.
You do not know what a VIM is. You've also drank some COFFEE already. You really don't like to overdose on the stuff. The last time you got a caffeine rush, things got... weird. It's best to save the rest of the COFFEE for emergencies.
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:18:55 GMT
> Make sure Harpocrates is okay. 
HARPOCRATES seems to be perfectly fine from your tripping incident. In fact, if you look closely, you could almost swear there was a MISCHIEVOUS GRIN on that old face of his. You swear that cheeky cat does this on purpose.
> Go to Whitman's house and punch him in the face. Nonchalantly. You indulge in this idea for just a moment.
Oh yeah. If you knew where he lived, you'd totally go over and punch him in the face. Nonchalantly. There is simply no other way you could punch a face.
> Check the mail for the beta of that game you don't care about. What BETA? You have not ordered a BETA, and most certainly not a BETA for a game you don't care about. That would be silly.
You vaguely recall that one of your FRIENDS was talking about a BETA of some kind, but you don't care enough to recall which one in particular.
> Look outside. You go to the LIVING ROOM and look through the window to your peaceful suburban neighborhood.
The streets are empty. Winds skims the voids keeping neighbors apart, as if grazing the hollow of a cut- What the hell are you talking about? It's just your neighborhood. It's not particularly DESCRIPTIVE. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother? You don't care.
You don't like this side of the house. You go to the other side of the LIVING ROOM and check the backyard. The SHED is intact. You like the SHED. Not even UNCLE is allowed in there.
> Look up at the sky and recall a poem that you don't find totally idiotic.
You look up at the blank blue sky above you, trying to think of a poem that you don't hate.
You spend five minutes doing this until you realize that every poem is totally idiotic and this was a total waste of time. Dumb poems.
> Attempt to care about the shed.
You successfully care about the SHED. It is a special place to you, where nobody else is allowed (except for HARPOCRATES - you doubt he will go and tell anyone, since he is a mute cat and such).
> Stay out of the shed.
You have put a sign in your BACKYARD, giving this exact advice to any curious people and/or animals who think they should go in your SHED. Luckily, it does not apply to you.
> Go in the shed.
You step into the BACKYARD and walk past the warning sign to your SHED. You keep it locked all the time, but you also keep the KEY with you all the time. You open your SYLLADEX, which is set to BALANCE MODUS. It allows you to give and take items freely, but both sides must weigh equally. You carefully stacked the items from earlier to keep the SCALES even. You take the KEY from the RIGHT SCALE and they barely move. The KEY wasn't exactly heavy.
You put the KEY in the lock and prepare to open the door...
> Tina: Get out of the fridge.
You refuse to leave the FRIDGE with the very present and very real threat of NUKES, ALIENS, ROBOTS and/or GOVERNMENT AGENTS around. You think it would be more interesting to see what the other guy is doing.
> Be the other guy.
A young girl stands in her bedroom. She is the one who wears DARK GREEN.
What will the name of this young girl be? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:20:45 GMT
> Enter name. 
That doesn't sound like a nice name for such a nice girl.
> Try again.
That's a much nicer name for such a nice girl!
> Examine room.
Your name is EMILY ROOTSTRELLEN, but you prefer to be called EMILY ROOTS, or just EMILY. You listen to a number of OBSCURE MUSICAL GROUPS - so obscure that you sometimes forget if they're even real or not. You love a vast array of genres, but FOLK, COUNTRY and the occasional spot of REGGAE are your favourites. You even like JAZZ, which your friend ACE shares with you a lot. You also enjoy playing your BASS GUITAR, as well as an assortment of MISCELLANEOUS STRINGED INSTRUMENTS. Aside from your MUSIC, you enjoy tending to your GARDEN, which has been featured in GARDENBRO MAGAZINE (as you are quite fond of telling people frequently). You often play MUSIC for your plants to help them grow. SCIENCE says it doesn't do anything, but you intend to prove it otherwise. Finally, you collect CLOCKS. You have set them to different TIME ZONES, so that you know the best time to update your GARDEN ACTIVITY RELATED BLOG, along with many other enthusiasts.
You always like to keep an open MIND.
What will you do? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:27:18 GMT
> Do something ador- Oh, it looks like you have that covered. 
Aw, thank you!
> Punch potted plant in stem to establish gardener superiority. You have no intention of hurting AUDREY! It's just good old fashioned water, fertilizer, and CATCHY MUSICAL TUNES for him.
> Reminisce about the vegetable orchestra. That was such an amazing concert! Every member of the orchestra used an instrument made entirely from produce, from the pumpkin drums to the beetroot trumpets. It was all outdoors, eco-friendly, and they played such soft and lovely songs!
Then again, you can't quite remember if you were there in person. Or if there was actually a real thing that happened. This might have just been a FEVER DREAMS of yours.
Oh well. It's still a nice poster.
> Check wardrobe for Narnia. You open your WARDROBE, hoping to see a doorway to a magical land of snow and wonders, where the animals talk and the magic flows!
Once again, you are met with disappoint as you see a GENERIC ASSORTMENT OF CLOTHES. One day, you will find a world where man and nature are together. One day.
> Examine clocks. Your CLOCK COLLECTION is a recent hobby of yours, and only in its infancy with just five CLOCKS so far. You bought four of them, while your friend SETH sent you a fifth. You have set them to a variety of TIME ZONES, so that you can keep up with the world. Whether it's the ideal time to update a blog or to go and water the plants, it's important to keep an eye around the globe.
> Slap some bass. Slap it now. There is no BASS in your SYLLADEX!
> Retrieve bass and miscellaneous instruments. You can't remember where you put them! Oh dear. You feel a little bit sad without your trusty BASS nearby. Unless it is. You can't tell. Oh, this is just so distressing!
You make a mental note to find your BASS and MISCELLANEOUS INSTRUMENTS as soon as you can.
> Boot up the computer. Maybe one of your FRIENDS could help you out? You boot up your ECO-FRIENDLY COMPUTER. It runs on a reasonable amount of energy, and no animals were harmed in its manufacturing.
You briefly consider checking your BLOG, but you decide that it's not the prime time to give an update, especially since you haven't done any GARDENING today. You instead open PESTERCHUM.
> Be pestered by TT so as not to create a paradox.
What para- Oh, there she is. That was convenient.
..You really wish you could find your BASEBALL BAT, too.
> Pester the one who types in purple.
generousAxewielder is set to BUSY, so you decide to leave them undisturbed for now.
> Pester the one who types in teal.
animosityTorpedo is online. Time to pester!
Oh, damn it. Your COMPUTER has run out of juice again. It runs on SOLAR PANELS you have on the roof, and it seems to be a cloudy day today. You'll have to wait until the weather clears up.
> Open chest.
There is no KEY in your SYLLADEX!
> Head gardenward.
It would be a good idea to tend to your plants in case the weather gets worse. You leave your BEDROOM and head down the HALLWAY to the GREENHOUSE.
You are now in the GREENHOUSE. MOTHER had it built a few years ago, and it is one of the largest GREENHOUSES in the state - hence your immense pride in it.
The roof is CLOSED and it looks like it will start RAINING soon. Your SAPLINGS are safe and sound. What will you do?
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:29:20 GMT
> Squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants. Your CUTENESS is too high to consider doing something so uncute as squealing like a farm animal! Well, okay, it is kind of cute, now that you think about it. You still decide not to do any squealing whatsoever, cute or otherwise.
> Fertilize saplings with synthetic bonemeal substitute. You would never use something as foul (and grossly inefficient) as bonemeal! Not even a substitute is suitable for your precious plants! You use the good old fashioned stuff; water and manure. Luckily, you have already fertilized the plants today, so it's only water for now. You notice the GREY CLOUDS in the distance and assume that it will be raining soon, but it never hurts to give a little splash once in a while in case you're wrong.
You open your SYLLADEX to retrieve your WATERING CAN. Your FETCH MODUS is set to OPTIMISM. Simply put, you can only access your SYLLADEX when you are sufficiently cheerful.
This is all the time.
You retrieve the WATERING CAN with no problem and proceed to water the plants. You feel very relaxed and at peace.
> Become enraged by the nearby large evergreen tree. Your peace is ruined as you turn your head and notice the LARGE EVERGREEN TREE. You remember when you were six years old and you tried to climb it. On that windy day, it shook you from its branches, and you fell and broke your arm. You hate that TREE.
> Do nothing about your sudden infuriation.
Dumb TREE.
> Think of other eco-friendly ways to power your computer. The GREY CLOUDS have obscured your SOLAR PANELS and left you powerless. You have a BACKUP GENERATOR which can be powered by POTATOES and OTHER MISCELLANEOUS PRODUCE, but your budding vegetables have not grown enough to power it. Until you find some fully grown vegetables lying around, you must leave your COMPUTER behind.
It's such a shame. You like to keep your BLOG updates on a daily schedule. Anyone who cannot keep to a regular schedule is just LAZY and AN AWFUL PERSON.
> Be the other guy.
You are not ready to be the one who wears TEAL yet.
> Use your watering bass. You do not know what a WATERING BASS is!
But you know what a BASS is, and you would sorely wish to know where it was... |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:31:06 GMT
> Cut some branches off of that big dumb tree and use them for fuel. As much as you hate the BIG DUMB TREE, you would never mutilate its limbs for such a selfish purpose. You lack the appropriate tools to cut the branches anyway. Who would be insane enough to WIELD an AXE? Not you, that's for sure.
> Search for bass. You have no idea where to start looking for your BASS!
> Search for fully grown potatoes. POTATOES are easy to find in your house. You're fairly sure that every single cupboard in the KITCHEN contains at least a dozen POTATOES in them. You happen to have your own personal stash of POTATOES in your room.
You return to your room and walk over to your WOODEN CHEST THAT IS NOT MADE FROM REAL WOOD. You would never hurt a tree for such a selfish purpose. Not even the BIG DUMB TREE. You are still beaming with happiness - as usual - so you can easily retrieve the KEY from your SYLLADEX and open the CHEST.
> Examine contents.
You find the following items and add them to your SYLLADEX: 6 x HOME GROWN POTATOES 1 x BASS 1 x PEACE PENDANT 1 x GARDENING RAKE 1 x UNCLE VONKEHC'S PACKET O' SEEDS 1 x DAISY
You hold the BASS in your hands and pluck a finely tuned note. You allow yourself the teeniest, tiniest, and absolutely cutest giggle possible.
> Check the garage for efficient means of transportation. You don't have a GARAGE in your house, as you do not own a CAR. MOM has said about getting an electric one in the future, but for now, you only have a BIKE which is kept in the BACKYARD. You look out of the window and see that it is MISSING. MOM must have used it to ride to town today.
> Hide in your house and wait out the storm. A storm is coming...
Very slowly and not in the least bit threatening, of course. It's just a bit of rain and lightning. Maybe if you're lucky, the BIG DUMB TREE will get zapped.
You hope MOM will be okay. Might as well use some of these POTATOES to fuel your COMPUTER...
> Be the other guy.
The one who wears PURPLE would love to be the OTHER GUY, but gosh, she is feeling so nervous about this whole thing! Maybe she could give this a try later?
> Be the other other guy.
A young boy stands in his bedroom. He is the one who wears TEAL.
What will the name of this young boy be? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:33:11 GMT
> Enter name. 
Oh.
Uh, this is usually when a ridiculous and unfunny name involving swear words and body parts is entered.
...Hm. You suppose it's nice that you didn't get one, but to be honest, you just feel a little left out.
> Try again.
Ah, there's a name, and what a name it is!
> Examine room. 
Your name is LYSIAS FACHTNA. It's a wonder that you can recite and spell such an unusual name, given how much of a KLUTZ you are. Your MOTHER found this out when you were just a baby and somehow managed to break a VASE. It's not your fault, though! That VASE looked at you so menacingly! It's a shame that you are such a KLUTZ, as you are also a fan of THROWING THINGS. You hope one day to perform at the OLYMPICS in a SPORT WHICH INVOLVES THROWING THINGS, but for now, you must make do with simple DARTS. Despite the safety measures of your MOTHER, you still manage to get a scrape on your knee or a cut on your elbow now and then, due to your knack for ACROBATICS and ADVENTURING. This is a difficult career choice, as you live in an ORDINARY SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD, but like most things, this does not deter you. When you fall, you just pick yourself up again. Along with your REVIEW BLOG, you also have FRIENDS online, and you wish that you could escape this ORDINARY SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD to meet them and go ADVENTURING with them. The fact that you cannot infuriates you a little.
You're not one for RAGE, but oh boy, it's not pretty when you get going.
What will you do? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:35:35 GMT
> Grab arms from chest. You already have ARMS! How could you possibly throw things without them?
> Throw your computer out the window without thinking twice. You would normally follow your incredibly impulsive mind, but you've already tried this on multiple occasions, and your MOTHER replaced the frequently-broken window glass with REINFORCED PROJECTILE-PROOF PLASTIGLASS. Not even your strongest throws could pierce such a thing. In fact, it makes the whole idea of having a window quite useless, since you can't even open it for some fresh air. It serves only to taunt you with the wonderful world outside.
> Loot cabinet. You open the CABINET, hoping to find a vast wealth of treasures and trinkets. Instead, you find your usual wardrobe. It consists of several identical pairs of TEAL SHIRTS and AMBIGUOUS LEGWEAR. To be honest, the concept of having a wardrobe that isn't always the same at any given moment is just ridiculous. What could possibly beat a TEAL SHIRT? Nothing. That's what.
> Search trash can. You like to THROW your POSSESSIONS into this handy CONTAINER. You usually miss, but very so often, you hit your mark and feel like a champ. Most kids would probably lock their CONTAINERS with some tedious mechanism, but you are not trusted with such things, and instead the trash can is just open.
You go over to the TRASH CAN and search inside.
> Examine contents.  You find the following items and add them to your SYLLADEX:
12 x BULLSEYE JR'S PLAY-SAFE PLASTIC DARTS 1 x ADVENTURER'S PITH HELMET 1 x WRISTWATCH 1 x "#1" COFFEE MUG 1 x JAR OF COCOA BEANS 1 x MOBILE PHONE
Your FETCH MODUS is currently set to THROW. You can store items as you please, and there is no limit to the number of items you can store, but you can only retrieve the items by THROWING them. This is both awesome and impractical, but mostly awesome.
> Arm yourself with darts.
Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is now set to DARTKIND. Granted, you only have BULLSEYE JR'S PLAY-SAFE PLASTIC DARTS, but it's a start!
> Log onto your computer and see who's online. You load up your COMPUTER and open PESTERCHUM. It seems like most of your friends are online!
> Barely miss being pestered by Emily so as not to create a time paradox. What does that me- Oh, hey, Emily is pestering you!
Oh. That was odd.
You hope she's okay.
> Declare that it is adventure time and go search for danger and stuff. WHAT TIME IS IT
IT'S about half past twelve, which isn't the most ideal time for adventure. You figure you'll go searching for danger later in the afternoon.
In fact, knowing your luck, danger usually finds you first. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:39:42 GMT
> Pester GA. Oh, that's right. You needed her help with something. Luckily, GA is online right now!
> Danger: Find Lysias first. Before you can open your blog, you hear a knock on the door. Is it MOTHER? You wonder what she might want. You walk over and open the door.
OH MY GOD IT IS SO DANGEROUS AND EVIL AND LETHAL AND DEADLY AND just kidding it's CREAM.
She's very well trained, and she knows how to knock on your door. She looks up at you adorably, and you pick her up. CREAM is the cutest bunny rabbit ever - you are one hundred percent certain of this.
Until you can find her some CARROTS, you decide to put her in your SYLLADEX. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:41:41 GMT
> Have head explode from cuteness. If human biology allowed such a thing, you're certain that this would have happened the second you saw CREAM. It's probably a good thing human beings can't do that, otherwise CREAM would become some sort of little hopping weapon of mass destruction.
> Sell the house to buy some carrots. You can't do this anymore. After your fifth attempt, MOTHER told the housing agency to ignore any orders to sell the deed for vegetables.
> Materialize carrots with sheer imagination power. You are not the character that possesses a high enough IMAGINATION to create CARROTS from nothing.
> Ask Emily for carrots. PESTERCHUM still claims that EMILY is offline. You're still worried about that. Looks like you'll have to figure this out yourself.
> Gary: Enter the shed already.
You are already in the SHED. Its legendary treasures and wonderful mysteries are yours to plunder... as soon as you find the light switch.
This might take a while.
> Go downstairs, preferably dodging or falling on your mother. If there are CARROTS still in the house, they will probably be in the KITCHEN. You leave your BEDROOM and head to the STAIRS. You prepare yourself for an awesome bout of epsionage as you pass by your MOTHER'S room... But nothing happens. You guess she's elsewhere?
For the thrill of adventure, you slide down the BANISTER with a cheerful grin on your face. All the joys of descending a flight of stairs, without the trouble of possibly missing a step and falling down them! You dismount and look around the LIVING ROOM. Nobody's here. That leaves one last option. You sidle over to the KITCHEN DOOR and hear the sound of cooking inside. Your MOTHER is inside. How can you hope to steal some CARROTS without disturbing her? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:43:02 GMT
> Pester Tina for tips on how to pass by unnoticed. You retrieve your MOBILE PHONE by THROWING it at the sofa cushion. It lands softly, and you then use it. When you open PESTERCHUM, you notice that TINA appears to be OFFLINE. Either she is actually OFFLINE (which is very unlikely) or she has set herself to APPEAR OFFLINE (which is much more likely - she must think the government is spying on her again).
> Try to get carrots using the power of your mind. You are not the character that possesses a high enough IMAGINATION to move CARROTS with your mind.
> Solid Snake it up. You are not the character that possesses a high enough FACIAL HAIR, LUNG CANCER and HOMOEROTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MISSION CONTROL.
> Use Cream as a distraction by throwing her at Mom. YES OF COURSE HOW CAN THIS FAIL
Your impulsiveness forces you by the proverbial throat to swing that door open right now and throw a bunny rabbit at your mother.
CREAM goes wide and completely misses your MOTHER. You assumed that she was at the SINK, but she was at the FRIDGE. That devilish woman must have known you were coming and switched locations from what you predicted!
CREAM lands in a daze on the counter while your MOTHER looks at you with the usual "why did you just run into the kitchen and throw your pet rabbit at me, son?" look.
> Kindly ask if you can have some carrots. Oh. Yeah. It's not an exciting plan - it doesn't even involve THROWING things - but it seems easy enough.
She kindly agrees and gives you some CARROTS from the fridge, as well as returning a very confused CREAM to you. Hm. You're glad you got the CARROTS. You just wish it hadn't been so anti-climatically.
> Feed the carrots to Cream, along with some aspirin.
CREAM nibbles on one of the CARROTS gleefully, giving a quick bucktoothed smile and a shake of her fluffy tail. You're sure that everyone allergic to cute within a five mile radius just fell into a coma.
However, you do not have any ASPIRIN. MOTHER tells you that if you're looking for more food or medicine, it will be in the MEAT LOCKER. Yeah, there is a MEAT LOCKER. A whole reinforced metal basement with its own generator to power its cooling systems.
Your MOTHER takes cooking quite seriously.
> Search for clues on that hot new beta.
Why would you find the HOT NEW BETA in the MEAT LOCKER? Wait, you might find a PARTICULARLY COLD NEW BETA! And maybe even some ASPIRIN! It's an ADVENTURE!
MOTHER waves you goodbye as you head down into the BASEMENT...
> Be the final other guy.
A young girl stands in her bedroom. She is the one who wears PURPLE.
What will the name of this young girl be? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:45:12 GMT
> Enter name. 
Oh goodness. She doesn't think that this name is very good.
> Try again.
Oh goodness! She really thinks that this name is very good!
> Examine room.
Your name is JENNIFER BROOKS. You are a CREATIVE WRITER by trade. You are most well known for writing ROMANTIC FANFICTION, featuring a vast array of FLUFF and SHIPPING, although you hope to one day write your very own NOVEL. The idea of such a thing makes you blush with giddiness. Outside of your love for the literary arts, you enjoy TRAVELLING, and thanks to your FATHER, you see new places almost every day. Visiting these wonderful places has given you a sense of culture, and you consider POLITENESS and GENEROSITY of the utmost importance. One of your FRIENDS called you "naive", but you're not sure what they meant. Speaking of your FRIENDS, you have a number of online FRIENDS whom you speak to almost every day. You do not SHIP them. Nope. No way. That would be ridiculous.
Above all, you are filled with HOPE in the base good of people.
What will you do? |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:49:53 GMT
> Retrieve arms from chest and ship them. You already have arms, dimwit! And you've tried shipping them before, to great success. Being ambidextrous is awesome.
> OH GOD, SHIP SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, THE ENTIRETY OF REALITY ITSELF IS AT STAKE.
AAAAAAAAAA
> Write a GA x AA shipping fanfic.
O-Oh, it's not like that! Well, he's c-cute and all, but he's just a friend! He doesn't even n-notice- You suddenly feel like it got a lot warmer in here. Maybe a change of topic could cool things down.
> Hold the door open politely in case anyone wants to come in. You hold the door open with the utmost politeness, ready to bow and greet anyone who wants to come in. Unfortunately, the only person who lives with you is FATHER, and he does not pass by your BEDROOM door. He's probably busy.
> Jump on your bed and try to touch the ceiling. You jump on your big fluffy bed, giggling with the simple joy of such a childish pastime. You spend about ten minutes doing this, before you realize how you are ruining your bed covers and decide to stop.
> Appraise bookshelf. You keep your favorite BOOKS here, wedged between the DOUBLE-BOLTED REINFORCED STEEL BOOKENDS. You got sick of the BOOKS falling off. Among the BOOKS, you see your hardback copies of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, THE SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON, and SEVEN ANCIENT WONDERS.
> Plunder ye chest. You cannot plunder ye CHEST. It is LOCKED and your FATHER holds the KEY. It seems to be a long-honoured family tradition to place your VALUABLE ITEMS in CHESTS and LOCK them, regardless of how inconvenient or pointless this might be. If it wasn't for your protests, FATHER would have BURIED it beneath a RUG WITH AN X ON IT and demanded that you find it through a MAP - preferably a MAP that you had to PIECE TOGETHER and decipher through JAUNTY RIDDLES.
Your FATHER takes family tradition quite seriously.
> Boot up computer and Pesterchum. The GENERATOR is on right now, so your COMPUTER boots up just fine. You open up PESTERCHUM, joyful to see your FRIENDS LIST. It is organized in a particular pattern, which may or may not be related to PAIRINGS. Maybe.
> Be pestered by Lysias and miss being pestered by Seth to prevent paradoxes. What does that mea- Oh, look, Lysias wants to chat!
Just as you finish talking to that clumsy but lovable guy, another clumsy but lovable guy pesters you.
...Oh dear. You wonder if there was a power cut or something? You hope that he's at least okay.
> Look at the circular thing on the wall. You take a brief moment to look outside the PORTHOLE WINDOW.
The open sea lays out before you, like an endless blanket of cerulean blue. In the distance, the sun smiles down on its child, casting its dancing lights through the water. A flock of swallows cheer and sing as they pass into view, heading off to new homes. The vista before you blends at the horizon into the most beautiful shade of blue.
...Oh yeah, you live on a SHIP. You think this might be IRONIC. You're not sure, and you don't care - it's worth it for a view like this. [/font][/b] |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:52:37 GMT
> Pester AA.
Oh yeah, he's online! You love to chat with him. He seems a little LONELY sometimes and you like to cheer him up. He's got that cold, distant feel, but you feel like it's hiding something inside, and he's so cool and mysterious and gosh you're rambling might as well just talk to him right now hehehe.
> Check under bed for supplies.
You check under BED for any SUPPLIES. There's some BOXES and SHOES and CANDY WRAPPERS, but you don't find any SUPPLIES. You check under your PILLOW as well for good measure. You find the only thing you would ever dare to keep under your PILLOW - your PERSONAL JOURNAL.
> Read through personal journal of shipping fanfics.
You would only resort to such an embarrassing activity while no one was watching!!!
This journal is for your eyes only.
> Locate father.
You haven't said hello to FATHER today yet. It would be sweet of you to check on him and see how he's doing. You imagine that he is at the WHEEL (unless your BOATHOUSE is suddenly being captained by a GHOST - which would be so cool!) so you leave your BEDROOM.
> Go down whatever this ship has for stairs.
Your BOATHOUSE does not have STAIRS. You step out onto the PORT side of the SHIP. Or is it STARBOARD. Which one is it again?
...The RIGHT side. You step out onto the RIGHT side of the SHIP.
> Smell the fresh sea air.
You inhale deeply, tasting the air of the ocean. That sharp salty smell invigorates you. Your FAMILY has a lineage of SAILORS and PEOPLE WHO SAILED and PEOPLE WHO AT LEAST OWNED A SHIP OF SOME SORT, so you imagine it's just a FAMILY trait of some kind to be so full of energy when you smell the fresh sea air. It perks you right up with a wide smile.
Yeah, today is going to be a good day.
> Find an axe and assign it to your strife specibus.
There is a FIREAXE mounted on the CABIN WALL beside you. It is supposed to be an emergency tool for... chopping out fires. Or something. You're not even sure why you need this, given that you're surrounded by WATER. Even if FATHER was afraid of the SHIP going down in flames, wouldn't a FIRE EXTINGUISHER make more sense? What kid wouldn't have a FIRE EXTINGUISHER in his house?
Whatever. You pick up the AXE. Your FETCH MODUS is set to CHALLENGEKIND. You can STORE and RECEIVE ITEMS as you like, but space is limited, and the only way to obtain more slots for your ITEMS is to complete CHALLENGES.
Currently, you have EIGHT EMPTY SLOTS in your FETCH MODUS. You assign the AXE to one of them. You now have SEVEN EMPTY SLOTS.
> Assign the axe to your strife specibus.
Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is set to AXE.
You remind yourself to ask GARY later for AXE-RELATED PUNS that you may use.
With nothing else to do on the DECK, you head to the WHEELHOUSE. FATHER is at the WHEEL, steering the ship as usual. He smiles at you as you enter, all while smoking his CORNCOB PIPE. He never stops smoking that CORNCOB PIPE.
> Request ye key.
You ask for the KEY to your CHEST. He hands you a MAP of the SHIP, with a BIG RED X at the ENGINE ROOM.
You sigh. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:54:31 GMT
>Gary: Continue your epic quest for the light switch. 
You still haven't found it. Maybe if you actually MOVED and DID THINGS, you might find it, but you're not really feeeeeelling it right now.
It seems best to just stand here and brood for a bit until you work up the energy to consider doing something. Maybe.
> Emily: Do something cute! You BLUSH at the idea of people thinking that you are CUTE. This itself is CUTE. If these POTATOES were sentient, they would think you're CUTE right about now.
> Jenny: Make your way to the engine room while singing your favorite pirate shanties. You head back to the DECK. You don't actually known any authentic SHANTIES of PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE MARINERS, but your FATHER had a POEM that he read to you sometimes as a kid.
Like a red morn that ever yet betokened, Wreck to the seaman, tempest to the field, Sorrow to the shepherds, woe unto the birds, Gusts and foul flaws to herdmen and to herds. Red sky at morning, sailors take warning; Red sky at night, sailors delight.
In the distance, the sun is beginning to set. You feel at peace for a moment before you remember your task of retrieving the key. You head into the ENGINE ROOM.
The ENGINE ROOM is loud and filthy, with scrap metal and oil spills everywhere. It's an old machine, but it gets the job done. Aside from the toolboxes and crates lying around, you find a BUCKET full of sand in the middle of the room. A SHOVEL is next to the BUCKET, and a big red X has been drawn on the sand.
You quickly piece together the puzzle that FATHER has left unchanged for several years (except occasionally when he can't find a BUCKET and uses a BOX instead). You empty out the sand with the SHOVEL and retrieve your KEY. Might as well see what you have in your CHEST. You head back to your ROOM.
> Open chest. The KEY fits the lock perfectly. This was as easy as always. You wonder if other people have trouble with opening containers.
> Examine contents.
You find the following items and add them to your SYLLADEX:
1 x BUNDLE OF LINED PAPER 3 x WRITING PENS 1 x CAPTAIN CONROY'S SKIPPER CAP 1 x JUNIOR NAVIGATOR'S SPYGLASS 6 x CAPTAIN CONROY'S CAN O' TUNA 1 x WINTER SEAS SCARF
You now have ONE EMPTY SLOT in your SYLLADEX. You should maybe attempt a CHALLENGE to unlock more later. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 14:56:44 GMT
> Wear scarf and skipper cap.  You feel like the prettiest sailor on the ocean!
You now have THREE EMPTY SLOTS in your SYLLADEX.
> Examine tuna cans with spyglass.
This is a little tricky. You decide to just examine them normally.
There are six cans of CAPTAIN CONROY'S TUNA. When you aren't fishing or buying food from shoreline markets, you are typically living off tuna and citrusy fruit (as your father warns you constantly about the dangers of SCURVY). You don't mind tuna, but it gets a bit sickly if you eat too much of it.
> Eat all six tuna cans. What? No! That's a silly idea! Why would you ever do something like that?
> Attempt challenge. "Eat six items of food."
...You sigh and open up the first can. After about half an hour, you have emptied all six cans. You are tempted to go to bed and lay down for a bit, but you are distracted by a beeping noise. That must indicate that your SYLLADEX has expanded!
Your SYLLADEX has expanded with TWO free slots. You now have FIVE EMPTY ITEMS in your SYLLADEX.
> Spy around with the spyglass. You look out at the horizon through your spyglass. The sea is rather calm today, and there isn't a cloud in the-
Wait, what's that? You turn the sidedial to magnify.
Is that...? You magnify once more.
A meteor?!
You have a feeling that it's going to be a bad day.
END OF ACT ONE |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 16:43:45 GMT
> Begin Act 2
>Jenny: PANIC!
YOUR BOOKS TOLD YOU THAT YOU SHOULDN'T PANIC BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A TOWEL NEARBY OH GOD.
You scurry around the DECK for a minute or two before deciding that it isn't a terribly productive course of action. One can be panicked but still calm and sure of a positive outcome!
You hope.
> Try to contact friends for help!
You direct your leftover scurrying energy towards the general direction of your COMPUTER. Maybe one of your FRIENDS can help you out!
He's not online, it seems!
> Try Jay.
She isn't responding either.
> Ace?
Oh god. You thought the meteors were your biggest problem.
Your INTERNET has run out.
> Look out at the sea again.
You take a minute to ignore the issue of SPACEROCKS nearly killing you and the bigger problem of not having Internet access to look back out on the OCEAN, your home. This could be the last time you sea it!
A sudden weight upon your head tells you that ARIN is back home. What a good seagull he is, coming back to give you support in these drastic times. Usually he's in a bit of a GRUMPY mood, but he pulls through when needed. He nips your HAIR playfully. Who says birds can't be a gull's best friend?
As you look back out to the water, you see a particular SOMETHING. What is it? You can't make it out clearly. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 16:47:01 GMT
> Jenny: Get Arin to fly to the floaty thing. 
After a few minutes of deliberation, you manage to persuade him to get the FLOATY OBJECT. It takes a few tries, but he finally manages to pick the OBJECT, now a clearly visible CRATE up. Arin sometimes has a bit of trouble with following DIRECTIONS, even if they're really clear!
Oh well, you can't stay mad at him. He's the cutest SEAGULL in all the land.
>Jenny: Peek inside of the crate.
You peek.
Are these...
You haven't seen these in years. Thank god your FATHER has a fondness for OUTDATED ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT, else you'd never be able to run these. You grab the contents and scurry to your room and your SEAFARERODORE 5000 COMPUTER.
> Gary: turn on the light already! Gosh, you act as if it's been months. Fine.
> Examine room, er, darkroom. Ahh, the darkroom, you think. The one place you truly care about, your private place. Thankfully people stay out of your shed; you have some deep secrets in here, one being the whole photography thing. A long while back you found a vintage black and white CAMERA from one of your DAD'S previous adventures.
To your right is your ENLARGER, which you use to sleuth out clues in old photos. Your love of JUSTICE and PHOTOGRAPHY overlap here- it's good practice for a possible future in FORENSICS. Ace keeps joking that you use it to enlarge other pictures. You're worried that he might have an inkling of your other guilty pleasure- MINIATURE 1700s ERA PORTRAITS.
> Look at those photos hanging up. Hmm... desert... rocks... boat... nice of her to send that one.
Your eyes rest upon the most newly developed photo, one of your parents. Your DAD, the ace cop, and your MOM. You're pretty sure this was taken before you were born. His hair hasn't gone gray yet, heh. You're still sad that he's gone, but at least he left hidden FILM CACHES for you around the property. Even if the old man is missing he's still a great guy.
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 16:53:02 GMT
> Gary: Walk outside.  It feels like you spent months in there, but only a few minutes have passed since you entered the SHED. Upon walking out you see an object in the sky. Is it a bird? No. Is it a plane? No. Is it Ace falling to the ground after taking up parachuteless skydiving?
Aww, it isn't.
It seems to be a METEOR.
> PANIC!
You don't exactly feel like PANICKING. Only a group of dumb people would PANIC at the sight of a (admittedly large) METEOR SHOWER.
> Tina: Look up. Sorry, it still isn't safe enough outside of the FRIDGE to risk such a thing! What if an unmanned GOVERNMENT DRONE spotted you? What then?
It's best to have Conner take care of the looking up business.
> Conner: PANIC! Gosh, he sounds like he's panicked about something. The FRIDGE truly is the only refuge from this grave danger.
> Seth: Look up.
Though your MOTHER may be currently giving you the lecutre of your life, you look up for a quick break. Man, nothing could be worse than your MOTHER's ire man is it ever OH MY GOOD GOLLY WHAT IS THAT
> PANIC!
YES IT WOULD SEEM A PRUDENT TIME TO DO JUST THAT YES SORRY MOM GOTTA GO SPACEROCKS ARE MARGINALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN A BROKEN MODEL TOY.
> Lysias: Look up.
Well, the basement offered nothing but darkness, bad memories, and worryingly aged JAMS and JELLIES.
At least you found a few new additions to your DUST BUNNY collection. Your collection took second prize in the COUNTY FAIR last year, so you've been working hard at making it the best it can be! Seriously, what piss-poor entry gets second place at a COUNTY FAIR? Nothing you'd make, that's for sure.
Huh? Look up? sure why no-
> PANIC!
OH LORD. Death is reasonably near, which is probably bad. |
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Huff
Nipper Cadet
Posts: 73
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Post by Huff on Nov 2, 2016 16:59:06 GMT
> Ace: Look up.
Being grounded sucks. Emergency ramps suck. Stairs suck. Man, so much stuff sucks. Gary sucks.
Haha Gary sucks so much.
You suddenly hear a noise from outside. Might as well practice your wistful gazing out of the WINDOW. Never know when a classy dame is going to ask you to solve her case and you'll have to pause a suitable amount of time before responding. The period of silence could easily fill with SPAGHETTI.
Wait, what in the hell is tha-
> Ace: Look up.
NOPE, IT'S SPAGHETTI ALL THE WAY DOWN.
> Emily: Look up.
Before heading back inside, you take one last chance to glare at the STUPID DUMB TREE. That'll show hi-
Wait a sec...
> PANIC!
They say rocky terrain is bad for plants to grow in, and you assume the same is true when it comes to happy vegetarians and a rock-filled atmosphere!
> Jay: Look up.
Sure, you'll look up a list of the best SCIENCE-THEMED B-MOVIES of the past fifty years! How well you know yourself to think this course of action. Might as well stop by the local news center as well. Hey! Something space-related!
Wait.
Space is supposed to stay in space not come to Earth oh my god this is not right.
> PANIC!
You do not PANIC! A certain piece of sci-fi literature advises strictly against that!
You opt to FAINT instead.
> Jenny: There's danger afoot! You have to help your friends!
Thank god you got the INTERNET working again. It's a long shot, but maybe this will help the situation... |
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