Hiveswap Game Content Discussion Thread - NO SPOILER TAGS

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Ooh, the download also includes the music!

I wonder what the deal is with Humblebundle's "sign in to claim this page" link.

Oooh, the game is 1.9 GB (archived)! I don't know what I was expecting, but it's definitely largeish!

Heehee, I like the logo icon, HS against a spiral sucker background. (Could be used for a future pin.)
The spiral will be an integral part of the key to the portal, but I wonder if it'll show up elsewhere.

The archive contains 277 files... accounting for a whopping 5 Gigabyte! Wowee!

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Wow, that menu looked gorgeous.
I love that the castle is taunted, even though it doesn't have the focus in this game.
Talk about a bait and switch!

I've come to wonder, after reading the first few introductory lines for Joey, whether it's not Hauntswitch though, that would be quite something!
That make for good material for the other game! A mysterious place, not just a mansion, to explore with Jude and Dammek.
Maybe the town was originally called "Haunt's Witch" or something.

Anyway, the intro was every bit as delightful as I could hope.

And Joey's introduction every bit as Homestuck.

"SEMI-ORPHAN", though. Guess Grandpa really neglects his parental duties.
"ASPIRING VETERINARIAN" Being good with animals is probably part of why Tesseract looks so well fed. And it'll help her on Alternia, no doubt.
And even now, to know the monsters' weaknesses and how to perhaps passify them?
Also, I wonder if "multiple" dance schools means she knows more than tap dance and ballet!

I love how the backgrounds come to live, it's just so good to look at them in the intended resolution!
The music is so good, too. Really top notch job all around!

Eesh, I notice that using Alt+Tab to switch between Windows has the downside that Alt is also a key that forwards the dialogue...

I guess the laser backdrop from those teaser pictures, is just the default background for the playable character's icon!

Heheheh, the hint function is disabled for now. My bet is it's enabled as soon as you have the magnifying glass.
"it won't any good" <- typo

OOOOOOOH!!! GOD YES!! Hiveswap supports multiple save files!!
That. Is. A. Life saver.
Saving just before a battle? Before combining Glowy Thing 1 with Sinister Crevass 2? Hell yes.

Hmm, something buggy about clicking on Joey's icon at this stage. The cursor turned into an iris, and I had to click the hint button to get it away.

Ooooh! Hell yes, the header can be minimized!!!

LOOKing at the calendar, it turns out the date is ACTUALLY NOVEMBER 11TH, 1994!! God dag nabbit!
So, what, the monsters have something to do with Betty Crocker?
Did Condy try something on 2x2 prong day in B1, it failed, and then she just thought to herself "needs more prongs" and did it again later in B2?

We can try to MARK the calendar, yet it's already got a cross for the date. Oh, heh, that just gives the same response.
It's probably to keep us on our toes, since we can't be sure every command has a different outcome!



LOOKing at the ballet shoes, we learn about Joey's aspirations to create "Ballap", pfffff.

And, welp, guess Print Screen is also an action key.



EQUIPing the ballet shoes... We learn about ABILITECHS and TECHNICHES. Perfection. Goodbye SYLLADICES and SPECIBII!
Say hello to the good old school technology of our youth.
"In my day, we didn't have those newfangled SYLLADILLIES you youngsters swing about, oh no!"

LOOKing at the posters, Joey talks about how her posters talk to her in her dreams, talking about a better world past the stars.
I doubt they mean Alternia.
Also, dreams, eh? Even if she's not a Sburb players, her dreams could still be prophetic in a way.

Clicking on the light switch... Actually works, hahah! I thought for sure the power would be out right now!

Oh, so the eyeball was meant to go on the ceiling only, heh. And, the plush on the bed.
N'awww, so Joey and Ms. Clair both worked on the ceiling.
And she calls it a "mural", which of course reminds me of the ones in Problem Sleuth!

Oh, the oven near the closet was her birthday present "last year". I wonder what her birthday is.
Seems like it's more of a children's oven, in that it probably doesn't produce edible cake, I think?
(Welp @ her comment regarding not having a mom.)

And speaking of Moms!! The wizard globe is present from Mom! Or, well, Roxy, I guess she should be called. The B1 version.
So she really IS Joey and Jude's babysitter. Or at the very least, she was until last year. Wait, no, it doesn't specify a year.
Anyway, I guess this little corner of her room is full of presents she's received.
Also, Roxy be Roxying.

Oooh, those books start Joey of on a BOOK REPORT she has to hand in!
She goes to school! Or at least, has tutors.
Pfff, Old Yeller reference for the win. "You kind of hate your teachers sometimes."
Yeah, let's keep Tess nice and safe, shall we?

I like Blaperile's idea that Jude would take Dammek to school. Since they're probably going to be swapped for sometime, it just might happen.
Imagining Dammek sitting in class, refusing to take off a high hat.
Hmm, okay, but November 11th is a Friday apparently (dang American week day numbering system!) so it's probably not going to happen.
I think 48 hours is more than enough time to swap them back.

Blaperile saw that November 11th was a holiday for America just like it is where we live, so that means Joey & Jude probably spent the whole day goofing around with Tess like we saw in the intro scene.
Veterans Day, more like Aspiring Veterinarians Day, amirite?

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It occurred to me that the reason her ceiling is only partially painted might be that her mother died before being able to complete painting.

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N'aww, Ms. Claire was already a fine ballerina at around Joey's age!
Shared interest!

So it seems her Mom isn't just a club singer, but she might be a multi-disciplined artist, which brings to mind Grandpa's over-diversified career.

I wonder if one of these books becomes relevant later on and spurs a different reaction than the one about BOOK REPORTs?

OOh, one of Joey's plushes is from the Snorkle series, heheh. Good times.

Her bed is well kept. Joey confirmed for Prospit dreamer!

Heheheh, the text regarding the bed is absurdly detailed, which makes me assume we'll definitely be getting a comment later on from Dammek about the same object, him not understanding what it's for.
Or on Alternia, Joey might have the same reaction to Dammek's sleep spot (recuperacoon, Blaperile reminds me).

Hahahah, the plush on her bed has its own jingle, like the oven. Fake popular merch FTW!
"Puppy Surprise", huh? Makes me think of a Fiduspawn.
... D'ah, Blaperile looked it up - it's actually REAL!! Dear god, or, dog, I suppose.
So that's why there's an eye symbol on hovering over it, there's more to it than meets the eye!

"Puppy Surprise is having puppies!" -->

Oh dear god this is too disturbing. They selled this to KIDS? Nineties, just. Why?

Also, WHAT THE FRICK, THE CHERUB KEY IS HERE? IN HER ROOM? That's awfully convenient.
And there's a different key here too. For a locker close by?

I wouldn't be surprised if this "thoughtful" gift came from Mom. Roxy. The sitter. You know who.

"some kid from school" Joey no, what are you doing, having a life outside of your house. Stop that, it's not Homestucky.

"Maybe you 'Five Puppy People' are just cut from a different cloth" The cloth being paradoxical ectoslime in this case. Well, second-generation slime, at least.

The little key's her DIARY KEY, ooh. What secrets does it lock away, I wonder?
First namedrop of Jude, and confirmation he kind be big baby about things. No surprise here.

But wait! She then says the cherub key used to belong to her MOM???
Uhm.
I just had the most awkward vision. Joey travelling back into time to become her own Mom, the key turning out to be a juju this way...
But then, where would Jude fit into all this?
Not that I really want to believe in this theory, but it would be awfully Homestucky.

I like Blaperile's theory better: the key originated on Alternia, and was brought along by the Condesce, making it so that the key is just in two places at once due to it being two different times on its own timeline!
Would be neat if the same would hold for the cherub portal, as I think has been speculated before.

Joey's "inexplicable feeling" to maybe be needing the cherub key later on, is of course, plot. Plot is why.

Joey starts listing similarities to and differences to Clarissa's life, who I assume is part of a 90s soap.
Then she mentions that Clarissa had a cool friend who is a boy but NOT her boyfriend!
This might just be a reference to there being numerous times in that series that there's a "he's not my boyfriend" being shouted, but...
I have to wonder whether maybe Joey has a boyfriend!
Ya know, if Xefros is Dammek's "bro", as in moirail or something similar, than maybe Dammek also has a matesprit which Joey'll meet! To keep things similar on both ends.

Ooh, looking it up, it turns out Clarissa is a British series airing on Nickelodeon, I would have assumed it's American!

The "JUNIOR VETERINARIAN MEDKIT" reminds me of something. Maybe Jade had a junior something or other item, or maybe I'm just thinking of the echeladder rungs.

The closet prompts the command "CHANGE"!!! Maybe it's a dud, but ooooooh boy!
I like Blaperile's theory, she going something like "you changed into new clothes. it's not obvious since all you've got is more sets of the same clothes, but the old ones you changed out of were sweaty so..."

Heheh, Joey wonders how Clarissa succeeds in looking great all the time.
That time before you fully realize the work going into setting up the Plato cave that is fictional settings...

Pfffff, okay, Joey doesn't want to change until she has someone to do a style montage with.
I suspect she and Xefros might have one then, when disguising her as a troll. Trying out all kinds of fake horn styles.

Ah come on, the reason Joey wants to be a veterinarian (or part of it) is that she wants to snuggle baby animals.
Really, who can blame her?

.... The MANTHRO CHAP though. It gives us not one but TWO Homestuck references! One to "what a daring dream", and one to humanimals!
I (sh)udder to think what reactions this might spur in people looking up the source for this quote for the first time, hahahaha!

Blaperile and I have acknowledged the PC and walkie talkie but we'll be leaving it for later, in case it's plot relevant.

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On to the other side of her room! All these neat posters, a closet door missing a handle (or maybe it's a sliding door), and the first sight of the tree house and her family pictures!
Cooooool.

All these posters featuring games and books.
"THE STORY KEEPS HAPPENING" PFFFFFFFF. NEVERENDING STORY, I MEAN, A COMPLETELY UNRELATED STORY, COPYRIGHT-FREE AND STUFF, HAHAH.
"It keeps happening" is such a thing that is real about that story though!

And a Mother 2 *cough* I mean "Second Mom" poster, hahaahahahahah!
Such a relief that parody can be considered exempt from some copyright claims, so that we can have these awesome shoutouts to inspirations to Homestuck, and to cultural significant properties from the nineties!

I'm acknowledging "Acorn's Shadow" for the Homestuck reference posing as a My Little Pony reference.

What's up with the lesbian-lite dancing poster and furry anthros up there, though?

Is Canadian Campfire Spookums a standin for Goosebumps, I wonder?

Loving the Jenga and Four-On-A-Row games. And Hungy Hungry Pickle Inspectors, I mean Hippos.
I wouldn't be surprised if that console (SNES?) was a gift from the sitter too!

Joey starts listing her console games, but stops after one, due to it being nausea inducing. A bad game I suppose.
Hah, okay, Bobsy the bobcat, which I came across recently, maybe on Tumblr.
It's on one of the posters with its mouth taped by a sticker with SHH written on it, hahah. Guilty pleasure, maybe?

Hah, so Joey's part computer gamer, part console gamer? Guess we know what the PC will usher from response! Also, meta reference, this being a computer game too!
Pffff, Blaperile has a point about the FINAL BOSS she just saved before (causing her to choose not to play at the moment)! It's bound to be a Problem Sleuth reference!

Ahahahah, the television shows a clip from the Bubsy game, and Joey has a BLUH reaction to it!

Hah, so there's a kid at Joey's school claiming to have access to Second Mom in secret. Sounds like typical for Earthbound in the 90s.
I can't help but wonder if it could be young Bro, though that would make him not as old as Mom, hmm... Nahhh, probably not.

... Okay, so Joey is officially traumatized by Bubsy, turning a once cherished childhood figure into a nightmare.
I wonder why she hasn't parted with the poster and game then, though.

... Ah. So what I thought was an inspector with a cheese for a head is actually the Tetris standin, BLOCK HUSTLE, hahaahahah.
Only a team that's tuned to Andrew's thought pattern and sense of humour can make Tetris this grisly and at the same time hilarious.

Ginger Rogers is Joey's tap dance idol. A blues-era glamourous figure, like her Mom!
"and still kicking!" Well, back then, but I don't suppose in the present... *checks* Nooope! :/

Ooooh, the "anthro" poster I thought, turns out to be a Metroid poster, hahah! "The Bounty Hunter". So the white dragon must be Ridley's standin!
She (the bounty hunter) kind of looks like a Power Rangers MegaZord, haahah.

PFfffffff, looking at the poster to the Neverending Story gives a reference to the Childlike Empress looking pretty smug for someone who basically has just a small role.
Kind of what Trizza will turn out to be, I wonder? (The Childlike Heiress.)

Ah, so Blaperile is right. Hot Stepping = Dirty Dancing.

Hah, so Acorn's Shadow is a dark television show. Now we know what business Bro was in besides smuppets!

The poster of a deer made me think of Bambi, but it's about an anime that caters to Joey's veterinarian side, while also calling forward to when she and Xefros ride Dammek's lusus (at least in concept art)!
The long title is typically Japanese... And kind of exactly like what Dammek's favorite shows might be called, come to think of it! He'd love this.

Blaperile points out that Shika has the appearance of a combination of Nepeta and Sailor Moon, which is hilarious since whatever Nepeta did to wounded animals, you can't call it "healing".

We took another gander at the ceiling, and saw that the stars and compass symbol solicit different responses from Joey!
Apparently her sitter made her shirt for her, after the symbol her Mom painted on the ceiling!
Guess you could say her sitter kind of functions as her *shades* Second Mom.

Looking closer at the cabinet... Next to the diary and photographs, my eye is pulled to the four-color pen! Ah yes, it's one of the first gifts I remember receiving.
I had to watch over class as a grade schooler, and the kids went and gave me stuff, to get on my good side, I guess? But I had none of it.

Hmm, we learn that Grandpa started leaving her and Jude alone more and more after her Mom passed away. (At least, I guess she passed away.)
I wonder in what way Ms. Claire was a "blue beauty", was it just how she dressed, and how it might have been her favorite colour (think of the ceiling)... Or did she suffer from depressions?

... The second picture illicits even more of a depressing reaction from Joey. "You really wish you knew".

The diary seems to have an animal or African theme. Pawprints and what look like bird silhouettes, together with colored bands.

We get the chance to write something down in the diary, something for Dammek to read later on, I believe!

Before unlocking the diary, we try to combine the keys with EACH OTHER... "But it fails". Hahah, hilarious response.

Using the Cherub Key on the diary. "Was worth a shot, you guess. Well, not really."

Tap dancing the diary open? Also impossible. Hah! "Tap dancing it off the table", though. Now there's something to imagine!

We keep the key on unlocking the diary!

So she hasn't recorded anything since October 25th, heheh. And before that, the first entry was before "last summer"!
... Her comments about Mom (not hers) and Grandpa's "adulting skills", and about missing Mom (hers) are so sad though.
Sitter means well enough, but yeah, just like with raising Rose, she leaves a lot to be desired.
And Grandpa... I wonder if he just doesn't feel adequate to parent them, or if Joey reminds him too much of Ms Claire?
At least we get confirmation that Grandpa "just" came by a couple of weeks ago.
It hasn't been years, I suppose that's all that can be said here.
I guess Nanna and Dad really were the only decent parents in Homestuck. (Human ones, I mean.)

Okay, I just got these things from reading the picture, now to actually read the narration it prompts by clicking on the diary!

Joey writes in all lower caps, like John, hahah! (As opposed to the capitalized text in the picture, pffff.)

... She has no friends but the people she knows through Jude and even then only online. Eeeeesh. Okay, scratch the boyfriend theory!
The kids at school (including gamer dude) don't believe her gamer creds, and she thinks they might be evil! Well, if she goes to school in Hauntswitch, who knows!
I like that all entries are on Homestuck dates.

There's a surprisingly LARGE number of references to things from Homestuck in her room, after all!

After writing the entry that Dammek'll probably find, she hides the key again. If she put it back into the Puppy Surprise, I think it's there to stay this time.
Until Dammek.

Blaperile had the bright idea of trying the shoes on the photos.
Tesseract is scared of tapdancing. N'awww.

Yeah, I think we're about ready to fall face first into the massive pile of combinatory explosion.
It shivers me timbers that there's even background info to be got from here, though. :DIARY

We'll reload from a previous save file to get the DIARY KEY back, first, though.

N'aww, using the DIARY KEY on Mom's picture.

Hehehe, she doesn't remember when exactly she got the CHERUB KEY.
She has a good point about it being weird to be fourteen. At that young age, you've already lost a lot of memories of your earlier years.
Of course, that trend continues into adulthood, just less profoundly.

... So, she didn't get the key from Mom in person, just from her jewelry box. The one visible in some of the concept art, I suppose.
Hmm, Blaperile has a good point, there's no telling whether it wasn't Grandpa that put it in there, after all.

Wow, just like I thought, Mom was a prolific dancer. I don't know what style bolero and dance improvisation are.

Combining the shoes with the keys give as much of coherent responses as can be expected.

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Oooooh, nice, we can actually open the closet!

A bunch of puzzles and other neat stuff in there... including a Simon Says game! I saw that in concept art not too long ago, perhaps there'll be something special about it? ...And I'm not just saying that because it seems to be blinking like hell.

Oh boy... we can CHALLENGE the Simon Says game. Is this gonna be a mini-game? xD

plainWonder has a cool theory that Joey might use the batteries of this game for her walkie talkie! After having seen it in concept art I first thought she'd get batteries out of that radio, but perhaps this is a more likely theory!

...Pfff, so she even USED the batties of the walkie talkie ON the Simon Says game in the first place, hahaha.

GREEN BUTTON ISN'T WORKING, looooooool. Hahaha, it was worth the try/nostalgia.

Nope, can't use the batteries on the cherub key, obviously.

Analogue key, ahahaha. xD

Can we have battery-powered tap shoes?

YOU RUN ON RAZZLE DAZZLE OH MY GOD. So THAT'S where that dance from that concept art comes from, hahaha!

Ooooooh, apparently you can also combine items with the Joey symbol in the upper right corner! Looks like it gives a more general explanation on what those items actually are, that's interesting.

Hehe, yes Joey, the lessons you followed for tap dancing probably deserve some credit as well.

Oh my god I love all those ridiculous comments when combining items with the ballerina poster. Combining the diary key with it gives some pretty cool insight though, nice.

Tap Shoes && Ballerina poster (might be a handy way to address the combinations!)==> Ha, looks like we'll get another Joey dance if we come back here with the ballerina shoes instead!

Cherub Key && Hot Steppin' poster ==> Looks like Ms. Claire probably didn't do ballet by herself but danced in a group together with multiple women! Also, this shows that Joey only got this poster AFTER Ms. Claire died.

Diary Key && Hot Steppin' poster ==> Oh? She's got ANOTHER diary? Looks like this might be the only time we'll ever hear of it though.

Tap shoes && Hot Steppin' poster ==> Doing taxes at church tho' xD

Batteries && Story That Keeps Happening poster ==> IMAGINAAAAAAAAAAATION. That's all there really is to say on the matter.

Cherub Key && Story That Keeps Happening poster ==> Oh so the Cherub Key might be a reference to The Neverending Story??? Haha, I didn't know that! It's been years since I last saw that movie. Interestingly, Joey seems to be SURE that the key is older "by at least a few years" than the movie. I looked it up, the movie came out in 1984, so when Joey was 4 years old! Hmmm, curious!

Tap Shoes && Story That Keeps Happening poster ==> Always not-ending routine. xD I love how they're doing everything they can to avoid saying "Neverending".

Cherub Key && Canadian Campfire Spookems poster ==> Huh! This combination doesn't work! Looks like they forgot to implement that one? Eh, oh well.

Tap Shoes && Canadian Campfire Spookems poster ==> JOEY CLAIRE, EXTRAORDINAIRE. It even fucking rhymes, that is amazing. (Also there goes Joey again with her cute little dance)

Batteries & Acorn's Shadow poster ==> Eldritch, you say? Hopefully not the kind of eldritch I'm thinking of here. 0_0

Cherub Key && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> Ahahaha, looks like the episodes of this cartoon were 22 minutes long.

Diary Key && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> 17 seasons??? Wow, looks like it's a popular cartoon. Possibly even rivalizing the Squiddles cartoon?

Tap shoes && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> Galloping green flames??? Is... is that a reference to the destructive fires Bec and Jack Noir have caused in the comic? Well... at least they weren't part horse.

Oh wow, we hadn't noticed yet that we could click on the Connect Four game!

Welp, looks like Joey's good at beating Jude at games (or at least she believes she is). Is she as good at beating him as Calliope was at beating Caliborn?

Diary key && Connect Four ==> Pfff, a diary working like a Connect Four game. That kind of reminds me of Fetch Modi. Now imagine a Connect Four Fetch Modus, oh dear god.

Batteries && Diary ==> Electronic diaries, such a preposterous idea, am i right?

Batteries && Ms. Claire picture ==> Why do we get so much sadstuck when examining this picture.

Cherub Key && Magical Companions Heal Force poster ==> If I were you Joey I wouldn't be trusting that Cherub Key for one bit, and I'm not just saying that because of what is going to happen pretty soon. 0_0

Tap shoes && Magical Companions Heal Force poster ==> Deer hooves, oh my god. Well, NEVERMIND THEN.

Batteries && Bounty Hunter poster ==> I assume Energy Tanks is also a reference to Metroid?

Tap dance && Bounty Hunter poster ==> "Turn into a ball in mid-air" METROID REFERENCE CONFIRMED.

Cherub Key && Star Avenue poster ==> Oh wow, Ms. Claire knew Ginger Rogers! That's interesting! It reminds me of how Poppop also met some interesting and famous people in his life and became one himself. And B2 Dave and B2 Rose too of course, like plainWonder pointed out! They knew some famous people too (and were famous themselves).

The Homestuck/Hiveswap Kids sure do have a lot famous family members or family members knowing famous people, haha.

Diary Key && Star Avenue poster ==> I like that Ginger: My Story is also an actual book, of 1991. What Pumpkin sure did a lot of research for this game, I really like what they've done!

Cherub Key && Block Hustle poster ==> L-shaped object??? Oh god, she's right. The key DOES sort of look like an L, just like the first letter of Lord English's name. Oh my fucking god.

Diary Key && Block Hustle poster ==> Hahah, yes, too bad Youtube didn't exist yet to search the song and then practice your routine. And I agree actually, the Tetris song is really catchy and would probably be really cool for a dance! Also, yup, a little slip up there with accidentally writing Tetris instead of Block Hustle.

Batteries && Bubsy Poster ==> Hehe, this description makes me think even more of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Cherub Key && Bubsy Poster ==> She really doesn't like Bubsy, does she? xD

Diary Key && Bubsy poster ==> Heh, that reminds me of what John said about one of his posters, about meaning to take it down because he didn't like it that much.

Batteries && Second Mom poster ==> "Believe me, you've tried" N'awwww

Cherub Key && Second Mom poster ==> Oh hell fricking yes, a reference to Ness' yoyo! (also... yoyo kinda makes me think of juju...)

Diary Key && Second Mom poster ==> Huh, that's a pretty original way of saving your game. Also, unexpected sadstuck is unexpected.

Batteries && Game controller ==> And maybe they aren't even the proper size of batteries anyway.

Diary Key && Game controller ==> Getting a bit close to the Fourth Wall there, aren't we? ;D

Diary Key && Game console ==> Oh man, I like that this comes with a sweet little animation as well, to show her reaching down to jab the diary key at the console!

Cherub Key && TV ==> OH GOD I'M DYING BECAUSE OF THIS ADORABLE ANIMATION. Joey is just so incredibly cute no matter what she's doing.

Tap Shoes && TV ==> I'm sure Joey would LOVE the Wii Console, to be capable of using wireless controllers and moving/dancing around while playing her games!

Cherub Key && Bean Bag ==> Wait a second... so Mom visited the attic to retrieve these bean bags and place them all over the house! That's really interesting to know that she's already been up there, meaning she might also be aware of the mysterious device up there that Joey will eventually use to go to Alternia!

Batteries && Sir Bappy Pawswatter ==> Oh dear god, I didn't expect those things ran on batteries. Good thing Jade never found out about that, or at least already removed the batteries. xD

Suddenly realized we could also combine items with the ceiling!

Cherub Key && Ceiling ==> ...That is not the right description. xD Looks like that's the description for Cherub Key && Walkie Talkie.

Diary Key && Ceiling ==> Oh wow, so Ms. Claire painted that when Joey was still a baby! ...Come to think of it, how old was Joey when Ms. Claire died? Was she still a baby when Ms. Claire died or not? Because if she was, I think there's a high chance Jude is NOT her son, which is an idea I've been playing around with already (what with their different surnames and all). If so, the question beckons who IS his mother.

Cherub Key && Animal posters ==> That is indeed the cutest idea ever. Even if they don't get any actual gifts from them, at least they still get some nice licks from them.

Batteries && Wardrobe ==> Indeed, and her wardrobe doesn't need batteries either, seeing as it's not a Wardrobifier.

Cherub Key && Junior Veterinarian Medkit ==> NO SHIT that it doesn't work like that. xD

Tap Dancer && Junior Veterinarian Medkit ==> Oh okay, so she IS still debating on which profession she would like to have in the future! I wonder if her experiences in this adventure will help her make a choice? Maybe... maybe we'll even be able to INFLUENCE which one she will eventually choose? Like, I could see it happening that she'll take care of Dammek's Lusus at some point perhaps, maybe it will get hurt or something. Not sure how her dancing skills would come into play (other than as fighting skill), but it could happen!

Or maybe it will even depend on how you play the game in general: do you take a more aggressive stance against enemies, fighting them with your dance skills, or do you instead go for a more passive route and take care of the wounded and such?

That would be interesting!

Batteries && Clarissa poster ==> GIRL POWER. Why am I suddenly reminded of Game Grl.

Diary Key && Clarissa poster ==> So Clarissa ended a month ago, and next day a new episode of Alex Mack would come out about dancing? *looks it up* Yep, all true facts! God I just love how much effort they've put into this.

Batteries && Bed ==> Ahahaha, that reminds me of how Jade tried to sneak past the fireplace in order to sneak by Grandpa, hehe. And yeah, Parker Brothers! That rings a bell to me, a pretty famous company for making board games I believe *looks it up* Yep, they are!

Batteries & Puppy Surprise ==> Exactly what I was thinking just before doing this combination. 0_0

Diary Key && Puppy Surprise ==> Oh wow, we can put the diary key back into the Puppy Surprise! That makes me seem like that is indeed what happened after we tried writing into the diary last time. Hehe, let's retrieve the key for now and try that out in a few seconds.

*few seconds later*

So, the Diary Key indeed went back into the Puppy Surprise! But sadly, we can't retrieve the key anymore afterwards.

Alright, let's reload the game so we can hang onto the key for a while longer.

Batteries && Toys on shelf ==> Grandpa gave shotguns to Jude, seriously? ...On the other hand, I really shouldn't be surprised. This is Grandpa/Jake we're talking about, after all.

Cherub Key && Toys on shelf ==> Welp... literally a baby. That confirms that I guess. Poor Joey, she really grew up without a mom for the most part.

I guess like how all Kids and Trolls seem to grow up with no or only one Guardian around.

Tap shoes && Book shelf ==> Oh yeah, I totally forgot about how for a long time a lot of people didn't consider tap-dancing an actual dance, I believe I've heard that somewhere before.

Diary/Cherub Key && Ballerina figure ==> WELP, that gives the same narration as diary key && Cherub key.

Cherub Key && Wizard glass ball ==> Haha, that reminds me of all the discussions in Homestuck on what is or isn't magic, and also the magical properties of wizards.

Tap shoes && Wizard glass ball ==> I love how there are so many combinations of the tap shoes with another item that cause her to just make a dance.

Tap shoes && Oven ==> Lukewarm-steppin', PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Batteries & Skaianet Calendar ==> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH, so THAT is the context of that picture! So apparently Skaianet isn't "just" a science company that was sneakily behind Sburb, but is actually a videogame company!!! Huh, I definitely didn't expect that! Now that picture suddenly makes a lot more sense, with them all being videogame figures.

Also, that gives a whole new context to Mom working for Skaianet! I always figured she just did it because she was into science, but the fact that they're actually actively making videogames makes a lot of sense too because we know Roxy is so into videogames!!!

Wow.

That's definitely a cool mystery that just got solved!

Tap shoes && Skaianet Calendar ==> Oh shit! Alright, so that's confirmation that she is still in fact babysitting them and that it's not a thing from the past. Also, she's got a driving license! I guess it makes sense because she's probably... somewhere around 20 years old? Give or take a few years in either direction.

And like plainWonder said, that gives a REALLY interesting deadline for Joey to either return from Alternia or for Mom to notice something's up! Because 11/11/1994 is a Friday evening, which means that in the morning of the next day Mom should be coming!!!

Hmm... will Joey come back so quickly from Alternia??? Or are we going to get a surprise appearance from Mom in Hauntswitch or maybe even the end of Hiveswap???

Oh god I'd be so excited if she will physically appear in one of these games!

Diary Key && Other Animal posters ==> Wait, the same company made the diary and those posters? Now I'm pretty curious what the name of that company is, haha.

Cherub Key && Other Animal posters ==> Well, there's my answer apparently! L.F. is the name... looks like that might be a fictional one! Or maybe just an abbreviation of a real one, to avoid copyright issues.

Okay, now it's time to start doing some more (possibly) plot relevant/impactful things!

Let's examine the computer and see what that does...

...Ahahaha, some cheap Windows rip-off, of course.

Welp, she's not going to actually do something on her computer. That's too bad, I wanted to see her surf to www.mspaintadventures.com and see what her browser is. xD

What with how she mentions keeping up with a bunch of different websites, that reminds me of how Bro's Completely Bullshit thing that helped him keep track of a bunch of different websites.

Heh, apparently we can't turn the computer back off again! That's such a waste of electricity.

Tap shoes && Computer ==> Ahahahaha, tapping the keys VS tapping her keys. I love What Pumpkin.

Let's see what happens if we try to leave Joey's room! She probably won't want to do it, because of the monster outside.

....Yup, that's indeed the case! She wants to warn Jude! Looks like we'll have to use the walkie talkie here, and thus put the batteries in. Which kinda surprises me that we "have" to do this, I thought I saw in concept art somewhere that she had the batteries in her inventory somewhere else? So can we remove them from the walkie talkie again or something?

But first, let's look out the window!

Oh yes, it's this view of the garden, like from the concept art!

....N'AWWWWWWWWWWW. I was about to say: "Hey, where's Tesseract? I don't see him!" when suddenly he popped out of the dog house. D'awww, so scared.

Hey, that stone structure by the wall there, the head kind of looks like a Mother Grub! That's a bit suspicious...

Also, that bush there. It looks a lot like the snakey monster chasing Joey! That's also really suspicious, are these monsters "known" around here? Or at least by Grandpa or something?

Let's see what we can interact with here...

Okay, so she calls the fountain Skull Fountain! ....Yup, still making me think of the Mother Grub there.

Poor, POOR puppy! I wonder if there's something Joey and/or Jude can do to make Tesseract come out, or if that's something that will only happen in Hauntswitch?

Welp, I hadn't really thought yet about the fact that Joey had only seen ONE of these monsters yet! She didn't know there's going to be a whole bunch of them, yikes.

Oh boy, now the tree hut...

Pffff, so Jude considers it his "mission control room". In other words, he probably treats it more like 'his' room than his actual room.

And apparently Joey hasn't been up there yet! Hmm, interesting. I wonder if there are many things that Jude keeps there that Joey isn't aware about?

Alright, so nothing else happens here when examining the tree hut. Looks like we'll be needing to use the walkie talkie to make progress!

But before we do, let's first use some items on this window...

Batteries && Window ==> Ahahaha, too bad they didn't make a stab at the fenestrated windows like plainWonder suggested. That's a missed opportunity.

Cherub Key && Window ==> Precious window, ahahahaha!

And now... time for the walkie talkie! Let's finally make some progress in this shit. xD

Oh god... we apparently put the walkie talkie in our inventory as well! Which means... before we use the batteries on it, we got a whole new bunch of combinations to try out with all the different items in the room here.

Nope, progress will have to wait a bit longer.

Walkie Talkie && Cherub Key ==> Wouldn't that be cool, a walkie talkie that runs on tap dancing? xD

Walkie Talkie && Skaianet Calendar ==> Pffff, it would be pretty funny if when we establish communication with Jude he immediately makes a remark like this. Plus, it would also be funny if we will actually see Joey's calendar from his perspective in the tree hut.

Walkie Talkie && Oven ==> And sadly, the walkie talkie doesn't run on microwaves either.

Walkie Talkie && Toy shelf ==> SHELF BUDDIES. TREE BROTHER. Oh hell yes.

Walkie Talkie && Bed ==> Now this is an especially interesting piece of narration! First of all, Joey apparently also aspires to be a webmaster! Secondly, it's pretty interesting how this also gives some new information because we've already got the batteries!

Also goddammit yeah I can understand why Joey removed the batteries out of the walkie talkie, haha.

Walkie Talkie && Computer ==> Pffff, yes, unfortunately USB cables don't exist yet and as far as I'm aware there are no walkie talkies with USB ports.

Walkie Talkie && Game Controllers ==> Pff, so maybe those batteries WERE actually of the right type to be used for the walkie talkie but she just simply doesn't want to take them out of the controllers, haha.

Walkie Talkie && Game Console ==> Whoops, another slip-up there, referring to Mother 2! Heh, so apparently the Famicon had such a special voice feature then?

Walkie Talkie && Bubsy poster ==> He can stay quiet, so that's probably why that SHH sticker is on the poster. xD

Walkie Talkie && Block Hustle poster ==> Incredibly lame pun is incredibly lame.

Walkie Talkie && Connect Four ==> Ha, that reminds me of Calliope and Caliborn's chess game, with Caliborn seemingly making bad strategic decisions but actually just luring Calliope into a trap.

Walkie Talkie && Canadian Campfire Spook-ems poster ==> I'd laugh if this is exactly what happens on Alternia with Joey somehow being capable of communicating with Xefros through the walkie talkie. xD

Walkie Talkie && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> It would always make Acorn uncomfortable when her shadow would just stand there... and watch.

Walkie Talkie && Magical Companions Heal Force poster ==> Pffff, wouldn't that be convenient if Joey could just do that.

"the deer is her brother"

...

...

...

0_0

MOVIN' ON.

Oh wow, we only just noticed that we can also use items on Joey's dresser!

Walkie Talkie && Ms. Claire picture ==> MY FEELS. D: How great would it be if she could talk to her through walkie talkie... That reminds me actually of the movie Frequency, where a father and son communicate through time just through a radio.

Walkie Talkie && Diary ==> THE BEST. SIMPLY THE BEST. I love the reference to the memos of the Trolls and all Karkat's discussions of past self VS present self VS future self, hahahaha!

Oh dear god we only just noticed that the disabled hint function gives a different message every time! We'd only pressed it one time.

I love how he just becomes increasinly meta as we keep on clicking it, kind of like in [S] YOU THERE BOY with continuously clicking on John.

And he just keeps on sounding more like the in-comic Andrew, hahahaha.

But... plainWonder's right. As we go on, he progressively sounds more and more like Doc Scratch. I mean... allotting time to 'talk' to us, being smug about being intelligent... This is kind of suspicious.

I highly doubt it's Doc Scratch, that it's just meant to be the narrator, but... HMMMMMMMMM

Okay, we've reached the end of it. Now it just keeps on repeating that the hint function is unavailable. xD

Batteries && Walkie talkie ==> Ahahaha, yup, this is our first puzzle out of many. And it only took us, like, 6-7 hours of gameplay to get to it!

Let's see what happens when we try to use the powered walkie talkie now! I think it would be funny if Jude doesn't have his walkie talkie yet or something and it turns out nobody responds when Joey talks through it now, causing us to cut to Jude and his quest to find the walkie talkie on his side.

Also, I wonder if we can drag any of our other items on the walkie talkie now, to still get some funny/insightful reactions about it (or maybe that will turn out to be a function later, to be capable of asking Jude about stuff?)

...Nope, can't drag other items on it anymore!

Alright then, let's put the batteries in!

...

Yesssss, Joey/Jude dialogue! Wow, plainWonder's got a good point! It looks like Joey's typing colour is blueish while Jude's is greenish, so they're using the colours of the shirt symbol of the OTHER person! Just like John and Jade!!!!!!

Oh man that is awesome.

Also... oh dear god Jude. HIS DIALOGUE IS AMAZING.

First of all, I'm surprised by his quirk! Looks like he likes talking in upper caps! That's pretty unexpected. I love how his "over" is in lower caps, making it hilariously sound like he's yelling everything through the walkie talkie but then says "over" quietly. xD

And yeah, his way of speaking does indeed sound a lot like someone from the army, hahaha. And while sounding so serious and formal in some parts, he also has a way of being incredibly silly ("WAIT unover", "REPORT BITE STATUS").

Hehehe, that reference to not understanding morse code. I love how people not understanding it continues to be a thing in the Homestuck universe.

Oooooh, and here we already have a choice on what to answer Jude!!! I didn't expect that to happen so soon.

So, we can either give a serious answer ("i'm fine") or a more funny one ("not great"). I wonder if that will impact anything. Let's go with "i'm fine".

Oh okay, apparently Joey heard the monster go downstairs! So that means it's probably not that dangerous anymore for her to exit her room (well, unless it comes back of course ).

Also, I just want to say I love the adorable animation of Joey talking into the walkie talkie.

And plainWonder's got a good point: they did a really nice and accurate job with having the Joey speechbubbles coming from the lower part of the walkie talkie and the Jude speechbubbles coming from the upper part!

Yup, it's safer for Jude to stay in the tree house for now.

Oh dear god, he's already starting with the conspiracy theories right there. xD

Though... I'm not sure if he's wrong! We have no idea where the monsters are coming from, maybe someone with an agenda (Condesce???) IS sending them to their house. And either this person WANTS Joey to go to Alternia for some reason, or they're there for some other reason.

"Antares-class conspiracy"... what? No seriously, what?

I imagine none of the options here makes a difference whatsoever, hahaha.

"GLAD YOU ARE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY" Umm, all Joey said was "what. over." xD

Heh, Jude asking Joey if she's less sceptic now that monsters are appearing reminds me of Jane's scepticism! I mean, it was also seeing the Condesce flying overhead that finally made her believe her friends too, despite Roxy trying so hard to convince her.

Oh wow, Jude's suggesting Joey to abscond to the attic! That's surprising. I didn't think they'd come up with going to the attic so soon already! Though it actually makes a lot of sense, the attic should be the highest part of the house and should be the safest place to hide from the monsters, so that's some good thinking of Jude.

Also, I just want to say that I appreciate that "absconding" is also a thing in Hiveswap and not just in Homestuck.

Oooh, so it has a strong door and some tactical materiel. Makes sense! Maybe Jude had already prepared the attic as a hiding place for emergency scenarios? I mean, you've got doomsday preppers in real life doing exactly that with their basement, so I wouldn't be surprised if Jude did the same with the attic.

plainWonder's got a good point that it might also have a lot of stuff of Grandpa that Joey could use! I mean, he IS the guy that also prepared Jade to ridiculous lengths, so he might have done the same with his other children.

I love how Jude goes on to explain how to get to the attic. It's pretty ridiculous from Joey's perspective but helpful from ours, haha.

I wonder if it's really that easy to get to the attic? Like, do you not need to explore the rest of the house to get to Alternia? In any case, turning left outside the bedroom and exploring the house is exactly what we are going to do.

N'awww, poor Jude. I like that this shows how much he actually cares about Joey and just wants her to be safe.

OH SHIT. Here we can make Joey suggest to Jude to either call the cops, OR call the babysitter! Both are some really clever suggestions. Obviously calling the police would be the smartest suggestion here, but knowing Jude he probably wouldn't trust the cops. Plus, the cops might not believe Jude anyway, they could think it's just some crazy fantasy of a young kid.

So, calling the babysitter would probably be the option Jude's most comfortable with, and would also be the COOLEST from our perspective (I mean come on, we all want to see some Mom dialogue and/or action here, don't we?). I mean, I find it highly likely that Mom won't (be able to) come over for one reason or another, but that still doesn't stop me from wanting to try.

Let's try that suggestion!

(Also, does Jude even have a phone up there? If he doesn't, I wouldn't be surprised if the only phone is somewhere in the house and the monsters have already bitten through the telephone cables by now, preventing Joey/Jude from being capable of calling anyone)

WELP, Mom's having a long day at work in the lab!!! Confirmation that she's already working for Skaianet?? If so, she's probably already working at the same Skaianet lab that we know from Homestuck! I mean, considering the suggestions that Mom grew up there, it seems highly likely that this is also the lab were she started working first!

I should also address that this is probably our first ever official confirmation that Mom works at a lab (probably Skaianet)? I mean, the writing was literally on the wall what with her lab coat dress and her child room in the Skaianet lab, plus Roxy's interest in science, but still! Now it's been spoken!

Booyeah!

"JOEY: oh no, you're right...
JUDE: AGREED ON BOTH COUNTS." Pfff, oh Jude. xD

"JUDE: BABYSITTER CAPABLE STRIFER, COULD HELP TIP SCALES" Ooooooh, so Mom was already a capable fighter at such a young age! That's interesting. And it's also interesting that Jude knows about that! Perhaps she practiced some kind of fighting sport and talked about that to Jude and Joey sometime?

I mean, I find it highly likely that she practiced some kind of fighting sport, considering her hand-to-hand combat skills in [S] Jack: Ascend!

Also, I like how the word Strife(r) has now also been spoken! Hell yes.

"JUDE: DO YOU HAVE YOUR WEAPON over" Oh man, what is her weapon? The tap shoes? The ballet shoes? The iconic flashlight (which we haven't seen yet)? Something else entirely?

I wonder if Joey even HAS any weapon or fighting skills.

"JOEY: what weapon? you mean my OLD weapon? what for?" Errrr, OLD weapon? I wonder what she means by that!

"JOEY: you want me to fight them? with my flashlight?" BOOYEAH, confirmation! But uh... in what way does a flashlight serve as a weapon?

I mean... it wouldn't even help to blind the monsters, CONSIDERING THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EYES.

"JUDE: MUST BE BRAVE" "I believe in you" incoming?

YUP. YOUR BROTHER BELIEVES IN YOU.

Oh hell frickin YES. I love that Jude has taken the same habit as Jake/Grandpa, hahaha.

"JUDE: DO YOU RECALL WHERE WEAPON IS over?" Pffffff, we can't even answer anything but "yeah", hahahahaha. Well, WE don't know where it is, goddangit. xD

Looks like we'll have to find it for ourselves.

"JUDE: yeah, it's in the closet." Oh!!!! Wait... the closet with the Simon Says game? Well, we did only see a small part of it, so maybe the flashlight is a bit more to the left?

Or is it in the wardrobe?

"JOEY: no, it's in the hall closet." WELP, NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Well, at least she was planning on leaving the room anyway. I wonder if the hall closet is close to her room or if we have to walk a bit before we reach it?

Alright, the conversation is over!

And N'AWWWW, her entire idle animation has changed! She no longer looks so scared and frightened, now she looks pretty relieved, now that she knows Jude's okay! D'awww.

I was wondering if perhaps the narration would say something differently now if we tried looking outside the window at the tree hut again, and it did! Yeah, it's better for Jude if he stays up there, where he's safe for now.

Ahahaha, I was also wondering if we could use the walkie talkie again to talk some more to Jude, and we could! Joey says she intends to write in her diary!

Will we really be "forced" to do that before we leave the room, or if it's still optional?

And will he say the same thing if we try to reach him again now... Yup, he did.

Let's see what happens if we try to leave the room... Okay, looks like we'll have to write in the diary! But pffffff, amazing reference to Alternia's green moon right there.

Ooooooh, after we write in the diary we get a new exclamation mark at the walkie talkie! Hehe, looks like we'll get some new dialogue...

Ahahahahaha, that's the most hilarious dialogue so far. I love how they are indeed not actually "hanging up here", unlike what usually happens in Homestuck with the pesterlogs and all where they stop pestering, hehe.

Also, apparently Jude can already see Joey! So either he doesn't need binocles or he's already got them.

...Now that I think about it, the fact that he's capable of seeing Joey in her room kind of reminds me of how in Sburb the server players could also see the client players in their room/houses, haha!

Oh man, I was curious what would happen if we'd try clicking on the walkie talkie again, but apparently that does nothing now! So we can't receive any silly Jude-Joey dialogues whenever we like, unless it's triggered by something.

There we are!!!! Now we're FINALLY OUTSIDE JOEY'S ROOM!

And looks like the music has changed. That's a REALLY cool song there. Pretty catchy and mysterious-sounding!

But wow... that's a preposterous amount of stuff in this hallway. 0_0

At least we don't have like 5 possible combinations of items on everything here anymore, we've only got the Cherub Key and the tap shoes, haha.

So, that hallway in the background is probably the direction we'd need to go to go to the attic! So, that's exactly what we WON'T do, for now.

I find it interesting that there are also some golden serpent (I mean snake) statues over there, in the background.

Those skulls hanging on the wall are also really interesting. They remind me a bit of the Mother Grub skull (like the Skull Fountain).

Hmm, over there in the background is a crutch! I wonder who that belonged to, it seems a bit too big to be of Joey or Jude. One of Grandpa or Ms. Claire?

That hat in the box reminded me a bit of Grandpa's hat, but plainWonder's probably right that it's a Conquistadore hat.

Oh dear god no.... that painting right above the couch... IT HAS A FRICKIN COD PIECE. D:

MOVIN' ON.

Well, now that we're at that couch, looks like there's some toy rifle on it. What with how red it is, it reminds me of Roxy's Betty Crocker rifle!

Pfff, I like how they're using that statue as some sort of coat rack.

Also, I see a pack of Pringles there, but it doesn't look like the name on it is Pringles. Probably another cheap rip-off. xD

I just also noticed those those 6 paper figures on Joey's door! The two on the right pretty clearly seem like Grandpa and Mom to me, but who are those other 4? Joey and Jude are two of them probably? And are the other 2... Ms. Claire and the mother of Jude?

Oh man I hope we can examine these little figures in more detail.

And of course I've been saving the best/weirdest for last... what the fuck is the deal with that Sufferer doll am I right? 0_0

Again, the only logical explanation is that The Condesce is probably responsible for that, seeing as she should be the only person who visited B1 Earth that should have knowledge about him. It's kinda weird that she did this then, considering how she tried to wipe references to him in any textbooks, but I guess she probably just couldn't resist the urge to make fun of him.

Yesssssss, WE CAN EXAMINE THE DOOR FROM UP CLOSE!

...Oh. Okay, so it was Tesseract instead of Jude's mother, hahaha! Also, Tesseract was actually the figure I thought was Grandpa from afar. xD

Oh yeah, what I noticed earlier but hadn't written anything about yet is how Mom also has the cat symbol on her shirt! So it's not just Roxy who wore it on her shirt, she did as well! That's interesting to know. I wonder if Nanna, Grandpa and Bro ever wore a shirt like the ones Jane, Jake and Dirk wear in B2?

Niiiiiiiiice, look at all those pictures!

First of all, some pictures taken by Joey, Jude and Mom at a photo booth, it seems! Pffff, first Joey and Jude took a normal picture, then Joey kicked Jude out and Mom came in to go on the picture with both of them. That's adorable.

It took us a while to figure out what that picture on the left was supposed to be, but plainWonder's right, it's probably the legs and feet of Mom, Joey and Jude! Looks like the 3 of them were relaxing somewhere, n'awww.

And if we look really closely, Tesseract seems to be lying on his back in the background! D'awwww. Good dog, best friend (pretty funny, considering how Mom is more of a cat person than a dog person, hehe)

Hehe, I love how Tesseract seems happy to see that cat. xD

I took a closer look at that picture for a second, because I wanted to make sure the cat had only 2 eyes instead of 4. I mean, it's implied that Mutie survived the fall in B1 and gave birth to Jaspers! Which makes me wonder... could this be offspring of Mutie that would eventually give birth to Jaspers, meaning there was a link in between the two? Or perhaps this cat is Jasper's mother, who even knows.

Now I'm really curious if we're going to see a picture at some point of Mom together with a black cat on it!

Alright, enough examining the door, moving on! Let's listen to what Joey and Jude have to say to each other.

Pfffffff, Jude just can't shut up can he? I love how he's using some of the same corny words like Jake does, with "hoo boy" and "landing in a pickle", haha.

Also, I just realized it's kind of like how Jake can't stop talking about himself, hahaha.

Ahahahaha, I was wondering what that golden globe-like structure with the arrow through it was. Looks like it points to where the ceiling is, now that's really useful.

Another cute animation as Joey spins the globe, d'aww.

Looking at the horse picture now. Pffffff, do Joey and Jude deface all paintings to have an argument? xD

Tap shoes && Golden globe ==> Pffff, yes Joey, that's obviously what it is.

I'm pretty curious what the deal is with that chest... I bet we'll probably have to find the key for that somewhere?

...Aaaaah, okay it's her mother's jewelry box! Makes sense.

And okay, it really is just Pringles, not a fancy rip-off name. xD

But Joey, that can doesn't really look all that empty to me.

Cherub Key && Jewelry chest ==> Oh wow! Other than some more expected information about how Joey find the key there, apparently doing this also opens up the chest! I definitely didn't expect that. Let's see what's inside!

....Okay, that doesn't work. Nevermind.

Oh man... now the Sufferer doll. Do I want to know what happens when we examine it?

...OH. OOOOOOOOOOOH. OH YOU BRILLIANT BASTARDS. Jude shot it with a dart just like Darkleer shot The Sufferer with an arrow, goddammit. >.<

Cherub Key && Sufferer doll ==> Believe me Joey, I think the Sufferer wants to get out of those chains more than you think. xD

Ahahaha, so Joey and Jude had a dart gun war there. So that's why there are all these darts in this corner! And why the Sufferer got struck by one.

Tap shoes && Statue ==> Pfffff, what crueler way to kill a ballerina than tap-dancing her to death? This is perfect.

Gulp... time to examine the painting of the woman with the Cod Piece.

...Ahahaha, so she was naked and Joey "made it better"... by drawing a cod piece on it. xD

And now the rifle on the couch.

Oh, so it's a water gun! ...Too bad she doesn't use guns indeed, because dang a water gun could have come in handy against those monsters! I mean come on, it would at least be better than using a flashlight against eyeless creatures. xD

Tap shoes && Water Gun ==> Pffff, why does that mention of plush immediately make me think of Smuppets. GODDAMN IT BRO.

And dear god what is that brown hairy doll to the left of the couch...

Well, we can't examine it for now, maybe if we look at the hallway from a different perspective? Possibly if we click at the bottom of the screen here, for the end of the hallway?

...Which seems like the most logical next step to do seeing as we've examined everything in this part of the hallway now!

On the other hand, plainWonder has a fair point that we can probably safely try going to the attic for now. That shouldn't really trigger anything yet, seeing as we haven't retrieved our flashlight yet.

So that's what we'll do next!

And by next I mean tomorrow, 'cause we're calling it a day here. It's already 8:50 PM, god the time went by quickly.

Heh, is it just me or did the animation of the jewelery chest opening play again when our game loaded?

Let's first try going to the attic, because we know we can't advance there yet prior to having the flashlight.

Oooh, that's a prety small hallway! A big difference from the two previous rooms, hehe.

I like that we can now see the crutches and those other things from a different perspective. I wonder what will happen if we try examining it.

Also, there's a light switch button there, but looks like we can't switch this one off, unlike the one in Joey's room, hehe.

Aha, so that's what that mess is! Just a bunch of stuff that needs to be moved to the attic but hasn't ben moved yet.

Oh dear... we can befriend the caterpillar doll? Do I even want to know what that does. 0_0

Ah, so it's a doll related to her veteriniarian interests! Makes sense. But yeah, there's not much practicing you can do on a plush toy like that.

Okay, "befriending" it doesn't do much special, other than walking us over to it, hehe.

Cherub Key && Caterpillar doll ==> Ahahaha, yeah this isn't a doll appropriate for storing an item in it (though the Puppy Surprise is creepy enough to be holding items too ).

Pffff, both the caterpillar AND the slinky are sitting comfortably in a pretty awkward position and not moving anywhere, haha.

Cherub Key && slinky ==> Oh??? That's pretty weird. Does the key attract metal for some reason? Hmmm... mysterious.

What the frick are all those things at the top of the stairs? What's that weird giant pillar thingy in the corner? And what's with that white doll with the green and red eye? I find that pretty suspicious, considering what the pairing of red and green means in Homestuck and Hiveswap...

It also kind of reminds me of that very early concept art of a First Guardian-like axolotl that I haven't thought about in ages. Does it have anything to do with that, for some reason?

And what's that pink thing? Is that another Puppy Surprise? 0_0

Also, looks like there's some old cleaning material there. Someone probably made the noble intention at some point to clean there, and then decided not to or forgot about it.

...Maybe Mom did that. Considering her odd cleaning behaviour in Homestuck, that wouldn't surprise me, haha.

Ha, okay. The description for that pile of junk is exactly the same as for the junk downstairs.

So, I bet we're probably not capable of entering the attic door yet, as long as we don't have the flashlight. Let's see...

Huh, so Grandpa spends a lot of time up here (when he's home), tending to his artifacts. I guess it's kind of like the attic in Jade's home, keeping his most valuable and weird possessions up there?

The question is where he got the mysterious portal from that Joey will be using to go to Alternia though. Did he find it on his travels somewhere?

That thing just brings up so many questions to my mind. I mean, Dammek's probably got a similar portal in his hive, and where did he get it from? Is it the same portal, brought to Earth by The Condesce centuries later? And did The Condesce then make sure it ended up with Grandpa for Joey to use?

Is it all part of some grand scheme of Doc Scratch and Lord English? If so, why? What big importance would it have for Joey to go to Alternia and for Dammek to go to Earth?

This is all clearly taking place after the Summoner's rebellion, which was, as far as we know, the last event in Alternia's history to have a major impact on the rest of its timeline, so what other important thing could Joey's presence on Alternia possibly influence?

Same thing with Dammek, there's not really anything important that needs to happen on Earth before Sburb takes place, right? Skaianet is already founded, and Grandpa will soon find the technology in the Frog Temple to start developing Sburb, so I'm not sure what importance Dammek could play on Earth.

That's all some really big questions, and I'm curious to see if we'll find answers to them in this game!

Oh jeez I kind of went on a tangent, didn't I? xD

Let's get back to the situation at hand.

Okay, so the attic door is locked. Which means we'll have to find a key somewhere! God what is it with all the keys in this house.

Uh oh, we're peering through the keyhole.

OOOOOOOOOH, it's this little sequence that we've seen in trailers! With some mysterious music to accompany it. Our first glance at the mysterious portal!

But... what I find really curious is Joey's reaction! It looks like she doesn't recognize the portal! What's up with that?? Has she never been up there before? Or is the portal a recent addition to the attic (but like plainWonder says, that would be weird seeing as the Cherub Key has been here for years).

Also, how the fuck did this giant portal get up in the attic?!

Wait... this is Grandpa we're talking about, the person who also got a giant spaceship into the Medium and who is an alternate version of Jake who had a Fetch Modus that allowed him to captchalogue humongous things. Nevermind. xD

Oh boy, Joey's talking to Jude again! I guess she'll probably ask him if he knows where the key is. But I wonder if she's also going to ask something about what that thing is in there? And more interestingly, if Jude knows something more about it?

Haha, so Jude knew the attic door was locked. I love Joey's deadpan comment about it.

Oooooooooooooooh, nice! So there's some specific dialog of Jude because we don't have the flashlight yet! Hahaha, so he'll only tell us where the key is after we retrieve the flashlight.

The question is though, is it technically possible to already find the key and enter the attic (and by extension the Cherub portal) before we even retrieve the flashlight?

I wonder if it's perhaps in the basement? That would be the perfect excuse to have us go all the way through the entire house, haha.

....Or wait, maybe the key is in the tree hut! And then Jude could send the key to Joey with that pidgeon we've seen in trailers and concept art! I could see that happening too.

Cherub Key && Attic Door => WELP. We quickly closed that narration because it looks like we weren't supposed to read that yet, 'cause it gave away something about the location of the attic key.

Alright, let's try to forget that and move on.

Moving back to the previous hallway (again that animation of the jewelery box opening. Maybe the hallway really is spooky and the jewelery chest is haunted! ).

And now, moving to the T-junction and see what's there!

Ooooooh, we're looking at the hallway from a different perspective! It gives a different view at the statue and the Sufferer doll, plus some new things! Apparently Jude's room was right there, very close to Joey's, haha.

But... that Lord English castle though. Grandpa/Jake, why do you always need to have this stuff that so creepily resembles Lord English things. 0_0

I like that you can see more of those monsters flying through that window outside.

And oh hey, there are the stairs to go down, along with the infamous family portraits we've seen a lot of teases of!

I wonder if we can enter Jude's room and/or the door next to it? It could be that we can't go into certain rooms of their house, like the bathroom. Seeing as the bathroom always seems to be a room we can't enter in the homes of Homestuck, while we can only enter them in the homes of Homestuck boys.

Well, I guess both a boy and a girl live here, but seeing as Joey's the main character I'm betting we can't enter the bathroom.

Other than that, oh god, plainWonder has a point! There are a few pink turtle figures there, as a reference to the Turtle consorts in Homestuck! Plus they also seem to be some sort of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, hahahahaha.

...

I wonder if it's a coincidence that such a turtle figure is lying down just outside the Lord English castle, what with how Caliborn once killed a Turtle consort in Homestuck.

I find it interesting how there seems to be a crown on top of Lord English's head, even though he's never been depicted with a crown before. Though I guess he IS a lord, haha.

Oh man plainWonder just made an amazing remark: it seems like the two pillars on this castle were first coloured in gold, but it largely wore off on one of the sides, so that there's only one truely gold coloured pillar left. Just like Lord English's golden tooth.

And what's with that box with colourful... pins? For a second I thought they were just the B1 Kid colours, but it seems like there's more colours there, haha.

Finally, that dragon painting between the two doors. It looks awfully familiar to me? Could it be that something like that appeared in The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven? Or am I thinking of something else here...

Huh, strangely we've now got TWO options when examining the statue! On the other side of the hallway we had only one option. Now we can also "use", but apparently that just triggers another comment about how Joey doesn't like using the darts as ammo seeing as she doesn't like guns, hehe.

Pfffff, welp. We can't even examine the Lord English castle. I was actually hoping she'd give a funny remark about that, haha.

Let's examine the weird dragon painting.

So okay, according to plainWonder we've seen it before in concept art and there were some theories about a hidden meaning to it? I don't remember that.

But in any case, he does have a point that the lowest one looks a little bit like an axolotl, and that the right one kind of looks like it has antlers!

Also, the left one kind of looks like it has a Lord English-like scarf plus green wings? The plot thickens.

...Huh. It's kind of weird that Joey specifically remarks the eye of the lowest dragon as seemingly following her. To me, it looks like the eyes of the upper two dragons also seem to be staring in the same direction.

Does it have a symbolic meaning?

Or... maybe Jude's room is right behind this painting and it turns out that Jude carved a hole in the wall so he could remove that eye and peek through it to keep an eye on the hallway for suspicious things, and whenever Joey feels like that eye is following her it's actually just Jude looking through it. xD

Huh, when we zoomed back out on the rest of the room, those colorful pins seemed to flicker for a second? I wonder what their deal is?

Also, that closet to the left of the door seems to have a kind of weird S-like shape, haha.

And uh, what's with that shark figure and skull onthat shelf? Especially, what's with that eyepatch on the skull. xD

I'm suddenly thinking of all those one-eyed people in Homestuck. Though I believe Vriska's the only one to have ever worn an eyepatch? I doubt this is supposed to be a reference to any of them.

plainWonder's got a good point that this door, right next to Jude's room, might be the hall closet where Joey's flashlight is! So let's wait a bit before we examine that and let's first examine everything else we can before opening it (also, I bet we probably can't go downstairs before we retrieve the flashlight?).

A... lite brite? I've literally never heard about that before. But it IS real and looks like something fun!

OOOOOOOOOOH, by using the "Lite" option we can let Joey make her symbol on the lite brite! I wonder if we try it again if she can also make some other symbols?

Also, cue "you waste exactly four minutes on this tomfoolery".

Pressing Lite again, she makes a Tesseract symbol!!! I love how it's exactly like the Bec symbol we all know, except with eyes and a mouth, haha. That's so cool. I wonder if she'll also make Jude's symbol and Mom's symbol?

N'AWWWWWWWW, she made herself, Jude and Tesseract. That is incredibly cute.

Also, I should mention that I really like how you can slowly see the board change as she makes a new design, and how the pins on the floor also change when she makes a new design.

Ahahaha, next up is the Cherub spiral symbol! She obviously made it because of the pattern on her key, but I can't help but feel nervous with that Lord English castle right there.

Also, this just helped me to notice that that Lord English castle doesn't have any red cheeks.

Okay, looks like that's all for the patterns on this lite brite!

Cherub Key && Lite Brite ==> HMMMMMMMMM, that's really mysterious. I find it strange that she "knows" she's seen it before, but can't exactly say when it has happened. Could it have been in her dreams? Like, has she been having some mysterious dreams (no, I'm not necessarily suggesting she's a Sburb player just yet ). Also, her "in your mind's eye" immediately made me think of Terezi.

JOEY CONFIRMED FOR HERO OF MIND.

Tap shoes && Lite Brite ==> PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, I love how it suddenly seems to be turning into a running gag that if Joey tapdances she'd fall off stairs, just like it already was in the stairway to the attic.

Huh, interestingly the only thing we can examine in the left corner of the hallway is the cabinet! I actually thought it would have been those other items, haha.

Are we going to look at the contents of this cabinet?

Ahahaha, okay no, we're just examining the lamp on top of it. Never mind what I said.

Cherub Key && Lamp cabinet ==> Pffff, so now Joey's trying out the Cherub Key on this. Yes Joey, I highly doubt it fits there. xD

plainWonder does have a good point that this seems to suggest those drawers on the cabinet are locked. HMMMMMM

Alright, let's examine Jude's door now!

Oh, we're zooming in on the door, and the Lord English castle is still in good view! Can we NOW click on that castle?

...Nope, we cant'. xD

Looking at his door more closely, my eye is mostly drawn to that drawing of a black ball with wings and sharp teeth. Other than the red eyes and legs, doesn't this look suspiciously like the monsters flying around outside? I wonder if that's a coincidence or not.

Oh??? The narration is really interesting here. Jude's got a pet in there!!! My first thought was a hamster, to go with the hamster tube that seems to be exiting his room, but I find it weird that it's an animal Joey DOESN'T wants to deal with! Which is pretty remarkable, seeing as she likes animals so much!

Whatever it is, I assume it can get around with that hamster tube? So that would mean it's at least something relatively small.

Looks like the identity of this pet and the contents of Jude's room will remain a mystery for now. Perhaps until Hauntswitch?

Joey's mention of traps in Jude's room reminds me of John and Nanna's habits of putting buckets on top of the door to fall on whoever opens the door, and also of course Bro's traps for Dave in their appartment.

And there's another mention of Joey wanting to avoid an encounter with Jude's pet. Mysterious.

Tap shoes && Jude's door ==> So, Joey especially wants to avoid setting off the pet by tapping! Sounds like it's a pet that could be a real nuisance or even dangerous if it gets upset...

Haha, alright! We can't go downstairs without our flashlight, like I thought. I like how there's a mention about how we've already been to the attic.

Well then, let's see what's behind that door which is presumably the hallway closet (I mean, it's not like there are anymore options )

Okay, so it is indeed the hallway closet.

Huh, apparently it contains old belongings of Joey? I wonder what else is in there, other than the flashlight (if anything special)?

Oooooooooh, looks like the ballet shoes are in there! I kinda forgot we hadn't retrieved those yet, makes sense that they're in there! Along with some other old stuff and some clothes, it seems.

Ahhhhh, apparently we need to use our tap shoes to make that box fall! Finally we can use our tapping skills to actually make something fall, haha. xD

Also, who even put that box up there?

Tap shoes && Box ==> Ooooh, cool animation as the box falls down! So, looks like there's only 3 things in there: the flashlight, the ballet shoes, and... a bag of chips? Why is that in there? Or does it perhaps have something inside (other than chips) that is of importance to her?

HOLY MOTHER OF BATMAN we suddenly gain a lot of new items: the ballet shoes, the flashlight (without batteries GOD DANG IT so that's why I remember seeing more batteries in the concept art, haha), a bag of pet treats (oh man... are we going to use that to get Tesseract out of the dog house), and also a bunch of flippos!

Goddang that is a preposterous amount of new items and also new combinations on all the items in the rooms we've visited so far!

New conversation with Jude incoming! He's probably going to mention the location of the attic key, and maybe he'll also have an idea where we can find more batteries (my bet right now is that we'll have to take batteries out of that radio we've seen in concept art).

Pfff, so much is going on and Jude is concerned about his pogs being kept safe. xD

Kind of reminds me of the Pokémon anime where James has a ridiculous concern for keeping his crown corks safe.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Jude's formal way of speaking and talking in upper caps reminds me a bit of WV's manner of talking to John, haha!

Huh, so Jude wants Joey to head over to "the trophy room". Probably a room similar to the Grand Foyer in Jade's room, with all those trophies he had on the wall?

>Anybody else really curious about the J kids' mom now that we know the key came from her and not one of Jake's expeditions?


>That Sufferer plushie gave me some mild trauma.


>Jude seemed to be saying "I can't lose you too!" to Joey before she entered the portal. Is he just talking about their parents being MIA or...did their mom disappear through the portal? Or is that where Jake really is? Or did someone else go through it and never come back?


>*white object appears in a green flash outside Xefros' house*
Okay, that's suspicious as all hell, but it could just be some kind Alternian transporter technology, right?
*picks it up*
THIS MOTHERFUCKER!! You stay away from these kids! Haven't you done enough damage already!? Or...won't you have done enough damage...fuck tenses in Homestuck.


>After you finish the game, the title screen is showcasing Alternia. The Pink Moon is rising and the Green Moon is setting....


>Just the general amount of snakes and red and green around the house unsettle me.


>Anybody else check out what the lite bright can make?


>There's something charming about the fact that you don't fight the attacking creatures to get by them.


>Anybody got a guess as to what the globe is of? Alternia, maybe? I'd guess Prospit or Derse but this might be before he found them. It's hinted to not be Earth.


>Hussie and/or the other writers of What Pumpkin grew up watching the exact same shows that I did.


>Joey says she isn't Dammek's Maid.....guess she'd have a different class, then.