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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 3:18:55 GMT
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 3:19:33 GMT
 A young woman sits at her desk. It just so happens that today, the 4th of January, 2018, is the day she realized she could not afford to live off her student aid alone. Though it was approximately nineteen years ago she was given life, it is only today she will complete her first job application! Let’s start simple. What will the name of this young woman be? |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 5, 2018 3:21:04 GMT
> Your name is Thicc Baebe.
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 3:21:35 GMT
> Your name is Thicc Baebe. Layton, please............................................. |
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 3:36:27 GMT
> Your name is Thicc Baebe.  You write "Thicc Baebe" in the application lmao |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 5, 2018 3:39:04 GMT
> Consider your job options and explain your background
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 3:46:07 GMT
 IN PEN!!!!!!!!! |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 5, 2018 3:47:40 GMT
> GET YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN. Fill out a new form.
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 4:39:14 GMT
> GET YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN. Fill out a new form.  It was the only form you had... You're really in the THICC of it now. The way you see it, you've got two (2) options: option one is to go find a printer somewhere on campus (ugh!!!), and option two? Option two is to legally change your name to Thicc Baebe. Forever. That's you now. That's your name. Please, Mrs. Baebe was my mother's name! Just call me Thicc! This is a nightmare!! |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 5, 2018 4:41:21 GMT
> Go for both options simultaneously
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 5, 2018 7:14:17 GMT
> Go for both options simultaneously  Great idea! You DO really like the new name change, but if you're gonna #StickWithThicc, then you'd better fuckin' OWN it--you'd better rewrite the name "Thicc Baebe" with the kind of penmanship it deserves. You're gonna march over to the library; pay four of your precious, dwindling goddamn cents; and write "Baebe, Thicc" like you were transcribing The Good Book. Ugh! You feel like a gotdamned moran over here. Why don't pens just come with erasers? Are pen erasers a thing? You really wish pen erasers were a thing, if they aren't already. |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 5, 2018 13:25:28 GMT
> Search online if pen erasers exists
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 6, 2018 2:46:49 GMT
> Search online if pen erasers exists  Huh. Neat. Well, that's one mystery solved, but you're not gonna be able to afford any of these beautiful gifts from the good lord above without any money, and you can't make money on Google Images! At least, you don't think you can. Maybe you should google that too--no!!! No. No, your first order of business is to print out another job application, or several. Or just fill out one for Ross online?? Being a responsible adult is fucking impossible. |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 6, 2018 2:50:33 GMT
> Find that clussy
or
> Print out a new job app, numbnuts! This time use a PENCIL.
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 6, 2018 7:58:34 GMT
> Find that clussy  You thought about it, maybe longer than you should have. You'd... rather not. |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 6, 2018 8:02:02 GMT
God i'm sorry i made you do that Triangle.
> go back and print out that second form
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telaxius
corpse party
I don't want to go onto the cart!
Posts: 611
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by telaxius on Jan 7, 2018 2:47:04 GMT
> "Accidentally" trip and fall, throwing the paper in a shredder.
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 9, 2018 23:08:34 GMT
> go back and print out that second form  That's right. No more Googling! No more distractions! No more clussy! Your future employers would never tolerate the clussy, so why should you?? |
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Post by ezra on Jan 10, 2018 6:03:49 GMT
>Write Baebbe Thicc with your best penmanship. Look up a calligraphy tutorial or something.
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Post by eerr on Jan 11, 2018 5:37:20 GMT
>What are the deets on this job application?
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 13, 2018 1:03:44 GMT
>What are the deets on this job application?  Good idea! Maybe you can practice a little bit before you print out another one. Better than dealing with this dead-ass campus. It’s like a ghost town until class starts. You got here like half a week too early. On the application, you’ve got a place to put your NAME, which is currently “Thicc Baebe,” but you’ll fix that later. After that, there’s a place to put your ADDRESS, including your CITY and STATE. Nothing too complicated there. You’re also gonna need to give your CONTACT INFO—your PHONE NUMBER and your EMAIL ADDRESS. It looks like there’s a section where you can put your PRIOR WORK EXPERIENCE, but you haven’t even done any volunteer work, so you’re SOL there, buddy! Then, the last section is where you can allocate your stats. It looks like you’ve got some run-of-the-mill stuff to deal with: HP (Hit Points), PP (Power Points), POW (Power), DEF (Defense), SPD (Speed), and LCK (Luck)! Better get started! (You've got 60 stat points total to work with, but no stat can be higher than 20) |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 13, 2018 1:17:30 GMT
Address: 4200 Showell Dr. 69420
City: Spankety City
State: NJ
Contact Info: 201-742-7401
Email Address: thiccbaebe@gmail.com
HP: 15 PP: 05 POW: 05 DEF: 010 SPD: 05 LCK: 20
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Post by phaps on Jan 13, 2018 1:31:30 GMT
Address: 6969 Cool Street
City: Weedsport
State: NY
Phone Number: 351-462-6606
Email Address: sumclut17@gmail.com
HP: 10
PP: 20
POW: 6
DEF: 8
SPD: 10
LCK: 6
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Post by author stand-in on Jan 13, 2018 5:30:31 GMT
> Next  You swear that's your real address!! It's where your parents live. You have to tell everyone it's legit at least 3 or 4 times before they start to believe you. You think about putting your campus address in there, but you're so used to filling out forms with 6969 Cool St., and also it's such a very good address??? It's so good. Ugh. Maybe you should get a professional email. No one's gonna take you seriously with.... that email.... You did a lot of dumb things you regret back when you were like 14, including making this garbage email address. You did a lot of dumb things you regret back when you were like 18 too, but maybe we'll leave that out of this. New year, new me, y'know? Do you think you can get away with sumclut17@gmail.com??? God, this resume is such a mess. No one's gonna hire you at this rate. Maybe your outstanding LUCK stat will change that. You're a very resiliant worker--you've got a lot of stamina, and you can keep going for a long time, even if you're a little slow and not great at doing any heavy lifting. As long as you're not stuck stocking shelves, you should be good! You hope your stats will be satisfactory. Fingers crossed your stats will help potential employers overlook your Very Garbage Email Address. |
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Post by Houselocked on Jan 13, 2018 5:33:07 GMT
> Thicc: High Five yourself and give yourself a pat on the back
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