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Post by CrowJam on Jul 11, 2018 3:11:44 GMT
also scream because you just poured alcohol into an open cut. Dumb broad. Didn’t you see the shitty animation?!? Those were obviously screams of pain!
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 12, 2018 3:34:48 GMT
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Post by BB on Jul 12, 2018 3:36:44 GMT
> Use seer powers to see through the painting of the window
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 13, 2018 5:13:47 GMT
> Use seer powers to see through the painting of the window While you are unsure of the current strength of your seer abilities given the low level of your salty good satisfaction meter, you decide you should at least attempt to see if anything of importance lies beyond this crappy painting. Yes, as you reach deep down within yourself, you slowly become aware of the vast stores of energy flowing throughout your body, emanating from your pores and surrounding you in a majestic sphere of mystical aura. You carefully mold this energy towards completing the task at hand, focusing harder and harder until you are able to feel the entire cosmos lock into place, harmonizing with your being and allowing your talents to reach the true zenith of their potential! Thanks to this, you are now able to see … !
A BRICK WALL! Your powers of perception are shit!
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Post by BB on Jul 15, 2018 2:12:43 GMT
You saw through a whole layer of paint! nice!
> Remove Bowser painting from wall
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Post by Actually Ed on Jul 15, 2018 2:25:59 GMT
>Try to find the one super secret loose brick in the room
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 15, 2018 4:58:29 GMT
You saw through a whole layer of paint! nice! > Remove Bowser painting from wall The mere suggestion of disturbing even a shitty image of his holiness is tantamount to utter blasphemy in your ears! This blatant heresy has caused your ANGER meter to even further increase! That sounds tedious as fuck and you are mad at yourself for even having such a stupid thought.
You proceed to throw away the next four hours of your life searching for the non-existent stone.
Rorb: Examine picture covering far wall
It appears to be a massive poster for the excellent 1985 film Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. Ah, poor Pee-wee Herman, life just hasn’t been the same for you since you were caught jacking off in that sleazy porno theater has it?
Rorb: Realize the posters eyes are following you
You already have more than enough emotional baggage for your self-psychoanalytical bullshit to deal with without you realizing that, so you smartly choose to ignore it and move on with your life.
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Post by Actually Ed on Jul 15, 2018 18:03:14 GMT
>Open the door
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 15, 2018 22:02:46 GMT
The door is locked. Honestly, you have no idea why you expected otherwise.
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Post by Curris on Jul 16, 2018 0:36:19 GMT
Jump into the Bowser paintings as done on Mario 64. Enter his Majesty's magical realm!
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 18, 2018 3:05:39 GMT
Jump into the Bowser paintings as done on Mario 64. Enter his Majesty's magical realm! You’ve never even played Mario 64!
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 19, 2018 1:27:30 GMT
Rorb: Contemplate the direction your life has taken
No.
Rorb: Awaken from unconscious state
You’re not unconscious; thanks to your cool bowl/helmet, you’ve managed to survive your innate stupidity with but a minor concussion.
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Post by kennyt06 on Jul 19, 2018 5:29:52 GMT
bash the door open
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Post by Curris on Jul 19, 2018 13:26:28 GMT
Yell through the door? Try to determine if someone is outside.
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 21, 2018 21:06:41 GMT
What part of you have a concussion did you not understand!?!
Rorb: Saw the door open You already saw the door, and it wasn’t open! Though it did happen to feature a lovely engraving of the poster for Pauly Shore’s 1996 film Bio-Dome.
Rorb: No! Use the saw on the door! What saw?
You suddenly start screaming at the door, not only to see if anyone is on the other side, but also because you just remembered that Bio-Dome was a fucking horrible movie even if you did like the scene where Dr. Faulkner offers Pauly Shore his exploding coconuts. Your harsh film criticisms, however, receive no response.
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 24, 2018 5:14:31 GMT
Rorb: Examine book
The novel appears to be a stream of consciousness bildungsroman set in early 20th century Ireland. After flipping through a couple of pages, you quickly come to the realization that the main character is an utter douche and verily decide that you hate both him and the sex obsessed English professor that probably forced you to read this tome.
Given that you have finally become sick of dicking around in this stupid room, you suddenly decide to examine the birthday card one more time, as its contents are obviously the only way for you to advance the plot any further. You are completely 100% sure that no one has ever led you to believe anything otherwise.
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Post by Curris on Jul 24, 2018 6:37:06 GMT
The birthday card is evil. It's probably going to explode, so, slip it under the door, slightly, rapidly open it, and push it under the door, then turn and run.
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 26, 2018 18:58:30 GMT
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Post by that anon on Jul 28, 2018 3:16:48 GMT
ANGER LEVEL: BREAK THE ANGER GAUGE, AND KEEP RISING UNTIL IT’S OVER 9000!!!
Rorb: teleport to the anger land.
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Post by badIdea on Jul 29, 2018 1:43:40 GMT
Drink the kool-aid, commit an act of revolutionary deicide protesting the conditions of an inhumane world.
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Post by CrowJam on Jul 30, 2018 20:10:06 GMT
The Kool-aid man isn’t the mood for any of your passive aggressive lip because he is also angry as shit!
It appears that when the grapefruit disappeared, he had gone to find his food group inspired cousin to relate the atrocities you committed against his brethren in hopes of executing karmic revenge and…
Oh no…
OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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Post by kennyt06 on Jul 31, 2018 4:36:46 GMT
rorb: k i l l h i m (period)
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Post by Curris on Jul 31, 2018 22:30:32 GMT
Max out your SADMETER. Plummet into deepest pits of despair and despondency.
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Post by CrowJam on Aug 3, 2018 4:14:56 GMT
You do break the ANGER gauge, but because you refuse to be associated with a certain shitty meme, it stops rising at exactly 9000! Shit in the Kool-aid Man I’m sorry, but while you normally would, at the current moment you are far too angry to have any shits left to give.
You prepare to saw the Kool-aid man's fucking face off!
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Post by badIdea on Aug 4, 2018 15:26:32 GMT
give the kool-aid mans head a good sucking off, drink up that sweet sweet nectar. Suckle the teat of of life, engorge on the viscous crimson prize you have been deprived of for so long. go on. do it.
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