DAVE: i can't even see the game DAVE: jesus christ i can't believe we're actually all crowding around the screen like this DAVE: and someone got little bowls for the doritos DIRK: That was me. DIRK: Gotta have some class in this tight dudebro fest. DIRK: A bunch of beefcakes can't settle down on the same couch and play a first person shooter without laying some ground rules first. DIRK: The "no homo" clause has to be put in place, before someone can suggest we're anything more than a gang of guys enjoying each other's company. DAVE: yeah haha ok
Your command is taken, though it should be noted that the Strider mating ritual is as much of a slow, subtle affair as it is sordid and ironic. AnimeShades!Dave sets his sights on Dream!Dirk. Will he take up on the advances? Only time can tell.
>Striders: Get sick of this Grade A 100% organic free-range Strider-sausagefest
Yeah, it's getting a little bit cramped in here, not to mention it smells like death on account of the BLACK PLAGUE BEAT. Some of the Striders start making their way out of the hole KoolAid!Dave bust in the wall.
Arquiusprite already left a couple of panels ago, and it looks like he ducked back in and stole all of the doritos while Squarewave!Dirk was trying to go viral.
DIRK: Dude, are these all the Doritos? ARQUIUSPRITE: All of them? Well I can see about 20 bags. Please excuse my f****** top notch, super advanced robo-brain as it crunches some numbers for you. ARQUIUSPRITE: Speaking of crunches, you still haven't touched my 100dicrously gosh **** RIPPED abdominal muscles. ARQUIUSPRITE: Hmm, did you know that trolls don't have their own terminology for abs? Or humans stole our word, more like. ARQUIUSPRITE: Even a practically f****** omnipotent ghostly amalgamation of a super-powered computer program housing 100% of Earth's knowledge and one e%tremely buff, b100blooded HUNK of culture got surprised by that linguistic peculiarity. ARQUIUSPRITE: Pretty fricking bugwinged incredible, don't you think mister Dirk? ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh gosh, please e%cuse my language. ARQUIUSPRITE: Mister Dirk, as your more intelligent superior I order you to e%cuse my language.
DIRK: After that he started sweating profusely, more than normal. DIRK: And the only thing he could find to wipe himself down with were bags of Doritos. DIRK: In the future I think I'll let Dave deal with Arquiusprite. DAVE: it doesnt go well
Meanwhile, what's this? It looks like AnimeShades!Dave has "accidentally" fallen asleep on Dream!Dirk.
You might be wondering, why return after so long? Also is it even allowed to bring an adventure back to life after being dead so long? If not, that's kind of ironic given the source material.
The truth is that Striderquest was never dead. While the bravest among you have made yourselves known by posting, the fandom numbers in the tens, possibly trillions. I will not out those fans not ready to reveal themselves, but you would be shocked if you were privy to the kinds of individuals who haven taken to influencing the adventure more subtly.
But recently I have heard them in my dreams. My fans- crying out. Not unlike Santa Claus, Jegus or BrainGhost!Dirk, Striderquest fans are powered by belief. Even their exceptional strength is beginning to wane, they have begged me to restore clarity to their lives. Now their prophet has returned, so they can shut the fuck up.
GodTier!Dirk looks around for a rooftop to engage in a classic Strider Rooftop Beatdown, deciding not to think about the sort of abusive undertones of the Strider pastime. He's not sure where a rooftop would be in the weird sort of liminal space he inhabits. Actually, he's not exactly sure where he is.
Oh no, it looks like the author left GodTier!Dirk on the Striderquest resources page! I guess that's where he's been. Haha holy shit, is that LEsprite from the original Striderquest down there?