You examine the PECULIAR SCROLL. Upon contact, you notice that its roll and end caps possess a plastic-like texture. Overall, it seems to bear a LACKLUSTER EXTERIOR.
>Examine Contents of Scroll
You proceed to examine the contents of the PECULIAR SCROLL. At the TERMINATING POINT of the scroll, a SERIES OF NUMBERS, which you suspect to be the PHONE NUMBER of BK, is present. Accompanying the numbers are a CRUDELY DRAWN PORTRAIT of BK and a FLIPPANT MESSAGE urging you to call BK. Above the FOULINGS are a series of numbers, which you suspect to be ENIGMATIC CODES.
>Cease Examination And Store Item
You cease examining the scroll and store it within its original INVENTORY SLOT.
>"Stare Up at The Clouds! Free-Associate Shapes Within Them. Meditate! That Ought to Help Your Uncanny Mood!"
Once more, a STRAND OF THOUGHT makes itself known to your mind. In a fit of curiousity, you decide to listen to what it offers. With a cheerful voice, it recommends that you should stare up at the clouds and freely associate shapes with them, or meditate. It assures that doing so will help you overcome your UNCANNY MOOD. Even though you regard both of the recommendations as absurd, you agree that it has a point.
You stare up at the clouds.
The clouds of POSHOPOLIS revolve around MODERATUS SKYLINUS. Shifting and pulsing, they perform a dance that can only be done by their kin. For you have rarely gazed upon their bodies, you never got to appreciate their dance. Now that you have, your mouth is agape with awe.
What an astounding sight! Love seems to be seeping out of your body, towards the EXOTIC DANCERS above!
You take a swig of PSEUDOAMORE once again.
You do a silly dance. As you do so, euphoria rains down upon your bowels.
Due to the mixture of PSEUDOAMORE and EUPHORIA, you are completely sober of UNCANNYNESS. You are now in a GIDDY MOOD.
>Ponder What Happens When Dandyness Hits 0
Due to the consequence of such a state merely being the loss of your DANDYNESS GLASSES, you do not give much concern upon it. You instead concern the condition of your body will have to be in in order to achieve such a state.
You quickly avert your MENTAL GAZE from the CONCERNING THOUGHT.
You approach the PIPE COVER, hoping that its BOLTINGS are loose enough for you to pry it open.
Your hopes have been in vain. The BOLTINGS turn out to be so tight, that it is virtually impossible for you to even put your hands under the PIPE COVER.
You do not. Instead, you quaff a pint of IRRITATION, along with a teaspoon of DISAPPOINTMENT. The bitter taste of the resulting blend negates the mix that preceded it, somewhat.
>"List All Stats That This Pseudo Game Tracks, And State Their Ups And Downs. It Will Be Easier To Help If We Knew More About The Mechanics To Which We Must Contend."
Do You Really Need To Know? Can't You Just, You Know, Get By Without It, Having The Clues For Progress Revealed To You Update After Update?
Nevermind. I'll Go And Whip Up Some Pages For The Manual.
Here's Page One. It's Obvious That It Was Crudely Done. The Status Bars Represent The Status Symbols' "Hit Points," By The Way.
These Statuses Are The Ones That Don't Really Get Affected By Environmental Factors. Well, If You Were To Consider Status Aliments And Garments Environment Factors, You Know...
>...Not That It Matters Much. Moving On
I'm Pretty Certain That You're All Going To Complain About Me Not Showing All The Possible Emotions. They're All At The Next Few Pages, Which I Haven't Made Yet. About The Moods, The Only Thing That You Need To Know About Them Is That They Can Water(plant motif, obviously) Thoughts That Fit Them.
>They're Probably At Page 15 Or Something.
Anyways, I'll End This Here. I Don't Really Have That Much Time Left To Be Here, You Know. Hope You Like This(probably never. not that i mind much). Just Pretend That This Never Happened Or Something.
>"Do You Think If You Shouted, That Someone Lower Down(or inside) The Tower Might Hear You?"
You highly doubt that such happenings will ever occur.
>Exposit Upon Statement
The MODERATUS SKYLINUS towers above the majority of the city's skyline, with its top firmly placed at CLOUD LEVEL. Strong winds sweep across the towers near its height, making your voices unheard by whoever is atop them. Lower towers are simply too far away from you to hear your call. Due to the winds, a significant amount of soundproofing is done to the tops of the towers. Combined with the fact that no reactions were caused due to your impact upon the PIPE COVER, you highly doubt that you will be heard by anyone under you.
Your mood has become uncanny yet again, but not as much as before.
>"Do You Have A Cellphone?"
Not only are your HANDS empty, but also are your CHEAP VINYL PANTS pocketless! You do not have a CELL PHONE.
>Reader: Give a thank-you to the narrator/game master/whatever he prefers his title to be. The explanation was wonderful and the different MOODS do not need to be explained one-by-one, the excerpt given to us was more than enough to ILLUSTRATE what we needed. Many thanks.
>Look around the entirety of the rooftop you are on, including any parts not visible by the abstract Player Camera, it's quite obvious we're missing something, the question is WHAT
One last final hurrah, like the final defiant scream of a dying man.
>Use the brim of your hat as a crowbar and pry open the hatch
"How far after the post apocalypse does it start being "normal" again? 400 years after the bombs drop in Fallout, is the US of A back? has the world miraculously returned to its original state, or is it still the "post apocalypse"? Can it ever be anything else if it is perpetually technically true?"
You are now the MSPAFA READER. The EXQUISITE EXPOSITION was wonderful and the different MOODS did not need to be explained one-by-one, for the EXCERPT given to you was more than enough to ILLUSTRATE what you needed. You PAUSE the adventure once more in order to send a thank-you to the narrator.
You UNPAUSE the adventure in a DISMAYED MOOD.
>Look Around The Entirety of The Rooftop You are on
You look around the entirety of the rooftop you are on. You discover a GUTTER placed at the OPPOSING CORNER, a UNKNOWN ARTEFACT that reminds you of the contents of the VULGAR TEXT written by BK, and a ENIGMATIC STAIN that seems to be the origin of a FOULED REGION.
You approach the ENIGMATIC ARTEFACT.
Upon examination, it is revealed to be a BOLT SCREWDRIVER affixed to the floor with an UNKNOWN ADHESIVE.
>Put Driver in Right Hand
You put the Bolt SCREWDRIVER in your RIGHT HAND. The ADHESIVE turned out to be merely enveloping it, and allowed you to remove the driver with ease. With these series of events, you feel your MOOD becoming GIDDY once more. You drink some EUPHORIA.
You enact the request to jump. Given to you by the strand of thought.
You land on the floor in a rather stylish manner.
>"If You Had A Sturdy Frame, Would You be Able To Fashion Your Vinyl T-Shirt Into A Hang Glider? Vinyl Tends To be Strong, Flexible (to a point) And Lightweight?"
You scoff upon the thought's ABSURDITY. Even though you do have a somewhat sturdy FRAME, the resulting wings will not be enough to provide sufficient lift, even with the strong winds blowing below your current position. For you are also chugging up the CONFIDENCE that the BOLT SCREWDRIVER provides, the thought quickly dissipates.
>Use Driver Upon Bolt
You approach the BOLTABLE PIPE COVER with CONFIDENCE. You are certain that you will succeed.
>Black Coloring: Turn Out To Be Rust
It seems that the BOLT SCREWDRIVER was nothing but RUST.
You are ABSOLUTELY DUMBFOUNDED! How could this be happening to you?
DESPAIR starts to trickle down your throat.
>Use The Brim of Your Hat as A Crowbar And Pry Open The Hatch
Absurdness aside, you are not in the condition for such thoughts. DESPAIR is now forming a stream that flows toward your bowels, dragging your MOOD, down to the NADIR of ABJECTNESS.
Yeah. We've examined literally every avenue and you've told us nothing works. We're pretty much trapped on that rooftop until the end of time or until some pre-determined event happens. Having the screwdriver, the last available option, break spontaneously probably wasn't the best idea.
Anyways, if there was supposed to be a specific thing we needed to do, you should probably fake the commands yourself so we can progress.
One last final hurrah, like the final defiant scream of a dying man.
Try getting the attention of some birds, if there are any here.
Try Conceptualizing something into being. Try VERY HARD. I think your mental abstractions can be used to manifest physically in the real world. So, just try very hard! Imagine a sturdy, solid, very tangible new screwdriver. Fresh out of it's packaging, newly stamped with that Fresh Tool smell. Imagine it!
The city is clear of those AIRFARING VERMIN. They've been eliminated in the FOUNDING DAYS of POSHOPOLIS. You do not think that they will be any help to your abject mood, either. As you regard the thought, DESPAIR pools within you. You sink more into ABJECTNESS.
>Eat Blue Konpeito In Hopes of Relieving Abject Mood.
Desperate, you consume the BLUE KONPEITO in hopes of relieving your ABJECT MOOD with its DELIGHTFUL SWEETNESS. There are now TWO(2) KONPEITOS inside of your hat.
>Be Pleasently Suprised
The BLUE KONPEITO turns out to be a SCULPTED BLUE CONCEPTONIUM SHARD.
Your CONCEPT CRYSTAL has generated about half of its complete form.
You are PLEASENTLY SUPRISED by the lack of SWEETNESS, and the displacement of air caused by the conceptonium shard vanishing.
You reequip your hat and regard the situation. Your mind seems to accept the REVISIONING of objects, to the extent of CHANGING their PHISICAL FORMS. You are not yet sure, however. Due to the PLEASENT SUPRISE, you have escaped from the clutches of ABJECTNESS.
>Imagine A Sturdy, Solid, Very Tangible New Screwdriver
You decide to experiment with the BROKEN BOLT SCREWDRIVER.
>Proceed With Experiment
You proceed with the experiment.
You CONCEPTUALIZE a FRESHLY MADE BOLT SCREWDRIVER in your mind. A PLASTIC HANDLE that holds tightly a shaft made of UNYIELDING STEEL. A WIDE YET STRONG HEAD, GLEAMING feverently, captivates its form.
The BROKEN BOLT SCREWDRIVER becomes a FRESH LOOKING BOLT SCREWDRIVER.
Although dissimilar to your CONCEPTUALIZATION, presumably due to it being effected by your focus upon the head, you are certain that it will function properly. You regard the experiment a success.
>Realize How Overdramatic You Were During The Experiment.
Realizing your OVERDRAMATIC ACTS done during the experiment introduces you to EMBARRASSMENT. You become somewhat flustered.
Your CONCEPT CRYSTAL is reduced to a small fraction of its complete form.