Diplomacy Quest

You take a look at the Options screen, since you're one of those weirdos who roots around in the settings before even starting up the dang game.
All of the options are grayed out. Every single one of them, even the ones you find by scrolling down. And some of them aren't even APPLICABLE. You hope this isn't a joke game, because you spent like 60 bucks on this.

You guess starting a new game will unlock some.

This was a horrible idea. Why did you do this? Where did you find a white marker? What?



It takes forever to wipe the marks off your screen.







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There, that's something you can work with. Looks like you have to input a name (standard), put in a color (less standard), and a disadvantage...? Some of these are kind of weird.



You read all the descriptions.



Bad Home Life: You don't have much of a home life, or much money to get a better one. Good thing you've got a job now!



Magnet: Magnet for what? Maybe it's better not to find out...



Being Watched: Maybe you're paranoid, or maybe people are secretly watching you, waiting for you to slip up so they can SURPRISE MURDER YOU.



Criminal Reputation: Whether or not you've decided to turn over a new leaf, you are a troublemaker, and that reputation proceeds you.



Frail: You've always been physically unimposing. A stiff breeze could knock you over and give you two diseases before you can get back up.



Nightmares: You suffer from occasional nightmares, that nothing seems able to fix. They affect your ability to sleep sometimes, and the fear doesn't quite fade when awake. They don't ever come true, probably.

It calls to you.



The naming field is being really picky. Swear words, at least, make sense, but you seem even more limited than the names you can give to ACTUAL BABIES.
Any game that doesn't allow you to name the main character something stupid is a terrible one, in your book.



After a bit, you settle on a name.

Your name is Samanie Jones, though you usually go by Sam. Today is your first day, so you're up, on time, and ready to go!
You're feeling ENERGETIC AS HECK today. You've decided that this will be the first day of the rest of your life. You're going to make so many friends, and basically be the coolest person, ever.
Nothing will ruin your drive. Not today.

The only exit is out into the HALLWAY, and thence, downstairs.

You take a look around your room, spinning around slowly in a circle, just... drinking in the slightly-underdecorated bedroom. Man, oh, man, it is great. Especially the wall opposite the window; it's a real hoot, filled with all kinds of great junk. If you were stuck in some kind of weird, retro JRPG-esque perspective that didn't allow you to rotate towards that wall, you'd just go right back to bed, yessirree.





That's not a portrait, it's a still life piece!

Boy, that must have been one weird fucking cloud.



If you must know, you are actually 19 years old, and quite above 'youthful abandon', or sprinting, for that matter! You are a fine young lady, and your mother tells you so all the time.