Welcome to Earth

Your name is JEFF, THE EVIL ROOMBA, or Jeff for short. As mentioned already, you are a ROOMBA: a self automated cleaning robot. Due to your hard plastic exterior, you receive an extra 2 points to your CONSTITUTION. Also, due to your job as a CLEANER, you receive an extra point to your WISDOM stat.

You find yourself in what appears to be a decrepit JANITOR’S CLOSET, with you as its only light source. The room is littered with RUBBLE and DUST, a large pile settled into the corner of the room. Near you is a closet with a cardboard box underneath it, a large metal tub, and a metal cylinder.

What will you do?

>CLEAN

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As a CLEANER, you have the keen ability to SENSE FILTH.

And right now you’re sensing a whole lot of filth.

You move to where you sense the largest amount of filth, in the corner covered with rubble and dust, and begin to clean.
But alas, your little robotic engine isn’t enough to completely clean this mess. However, you gain THREE decently sized ROCKS and some SAND, which are now stored in your INVENTORY.



Sensors show that the JANITOR’S CLOSET is now 2% cleaner.

After nudging the box out from under the closet and flipping it over, the contents in the box spill out slightly.
Inside you spy TWO TOILET PAPER ROLLS, ONE MOP HEAD, an AEROSOL CAN, and an entanglement of COPPER WIRES.


>DEPOSE OF DEBRIS

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Examining the room, you figure that the large METAL TUB will be able to contain the vast amount of waste in this room. You prepare your racial ability EJECT and position yourself. The first ROCK shoots out of your inventory like a bullet. It hits the wall, dents it, and successfully falls into the tub with a bang. The second ROCK smashes into one of the RUSTY TAPS, causing it to fall off the wall, into the tub. Unfortunately, the ROCK is deflected away and falls beside the tub. The final ROCK manages to hit the wall and land into the tub without issue.

Finally, you try your best to EJECT the sand into the tub, but it just scatters onto the floor.



Just then, the area of the wall that was dented begins to fall. The room brightens, illuminating the dust and dirt in the air, and everywhere else.

Rummaging through the box, you equip yourself with as much supplies as you can. Unfortunately, you don’t have enough room in your inventory for the COPPER WIRES, so you leave them in the box. You are now equipped with the MOP HEAD, TWO TOILET PAPER ROLLS, and the AEROSOL CAN. None of these items change your stats, but you feel like a more formidable cleaning machine.

You snuggle into the box, forgetting that your new upgrades also increased your height. The AEROSOL CAN topples down from your tower of cleanliest, onto the sandy floor with a soft thud. One of the TOILET PAPER ROLLS gets caught by the corner of the box’s lid and rolls over towards the closet. The second TOILET PAPER ROLL and the MOP HEAD stay comfortably on you.

Inside, the left over COPPER WIRES cushion you in your new home. Deep down, you hope that your new home will shelter you against the FILTH of the JANITOR’S CLOSET.

>BREAK WALL