Cult Following

>Mc Larren:: "kid, you remind me of myself when I was your age, full of passion and desire to smite the heretics..." *CRASH* ".. okay maybe not that crazy but it's the spirirt that counts..."
>Mc Larren: Walk nonchalantky, calmly block everyone of his punches as you try talking him down.
>And if he's still not calmed down wait for himto tire down and then sucker punch him. "Remember that move, kid, it'll serve you well. You better now  ?"
>Rick: ".. yes sir. Thank you sir. ooow.."
>Jones: Eproove a barely concealed satisfaction when Rick get punched

> Just knock him out.

>What, can't a guy decide to chat on the stage?

>Actually, sure, here's my explanation: I was walking along, when I bumped into two evil magicians, and a scientist. All three planned on breaking into the tower. Naturally, I chose to assist them in their scheme, in exchange for a cut of the profits, and for the pleasure of seeing the Truthbearer lose it.

>Say this as sarcastically as possible.

>Actually, I had a few drinks and figured I might as well go big or go home.

> I felt it in my soul Truth-bearer. You can't argue with soul feelings.

>Gil: Be bust out by a ragtag group of slightly misguided freedom fighters.
>Gil: Resist being liberated, vigorously.

Finally caught up, it's good to read this adventure again! I like your writing and sense of humor, keep up the good job!

>Of course, the bookcases are secretly boozecases

>Ask politely to exit.

Gil: Yo, Jay, I get that you've got work and all, but I've actually got stuff I need to be doing myself.
Gil: So how about doing your ol' pal Gil a solid and sending me on my way?
Gil: I won't do anything illegal, swear to whatever god.
Gil: Pick which one you'd prefer, I guess.
Jay: Sorry man, none of that today.
Jay: With the festival and all, there's probably gonna be an inspection.
Gil: Oh come on, is an inspection REALLY worth more than your buddy?
Gil: You used to be cool, man.
Jay: I'm still cool.
Jay: And I'll be even cooler if I keep my job.
Jay: Now quiet down in there.
Gil: Alright, I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice.
Gil: Remember how two years ago you forgot your keys, but I stayed in my cell for the entire day anyway?
Gil: I'm calling in that favor.
Jay: Nope, no can do.
Gil: Seriously? Not cool, man.
Gil: Favors are sacred.
Jay: Yeah, and you already called yours in last winter.
Gil: Really? I don't remember getting out early last winter.
Jay: Nah, that wasn't what you called it in for.
Jay: You were really drunk and asked me to get you water and an aspirin.
Jay: Could've done it for nothing, too, but you insisted that you wanted to call in the favor.
Jay: So I don't owe you anything.
Gil: You're real mean, you know that?
Jay: Yes.
Jay: I also know that it pisses you off, which is hilarious.
==>

Great, looks like Jay decided to be difficult today.
Fine, I'll just find my own way out of here. I'm a master escape artist, this should be a cinch.
>What's under the bed?

Let's see..spare blankets, board games, extra clothes, teapot and teabags...
Seriously? Not even a shank or anything?
I am so disappointed in the prison population right now.
>Check for obvious exits.

Okay, so...
No loose bars on the windows. View's pretty nice, though.
==>

No secrets in the bookcase. Not counting the emergency bourbon I hid in here years ago, of course.
...what? Don't judge me. It's not like anyone's going to miss that copy of "Math and Magic, Volume IV: Exponential Magic Growth" anyway.
==>

I guess the fireplace leads outside, but somehow I doubt I'd be able to climb what looks like 4-5 floors inside of a chimney.
Not even with the grappling crossbow.
Dammit, I need a smoke. Or a drink. Whatever's closer.
==>

See, that's the problem with making jail cells nicer. People don't feel like escaping them, so they don't leave any attempts behind, thus making my life harder.
What a day.
>Steal all the cigars. All of them.

Oh, right, thanks for reminding me. At least I'm getting something out of this whole thing.
...heh. I wonder if "a voice in my head told me to steal it" is a valid legal defense.
Probably not. I'd just get accused of being a warlock again.
>Be bust out by a ragtag group of slightly misguided freedom fighters.

Hey yeah, you're right. That's how this whole thing works, isn't it?
Yeah, I know what's gonna happen. When a big heist is going on, there's no way the protagonist would just get left behind in a cell.
That'd be a huge anticlimax. Yep, any minute now someone or something is going to give us a way out of here. Just gotta wait.
==>

Yep, any moment. If it's soon, I'll probably have enough time to steal everything they have and then go meet up with those two weirdos.
Just hope they didn't screw the whole plan over.
==>

Here we go, right on cue. God bless plot convenience.
==>

Wait. Oh, crap. This is not a rescue party at all.
This is that guy that ransacked my office last night.
This ain't good.
==>

Yeah, look at this. Guy just jumped down a chimney like it was nothing.
We are SO screwed.






Thanks, great to have you reading with us! I'll certainly try to keep up the good work.

>Hi there, guy.

>How are you doing? Care for a cigar?

>Try to get him to embed his weapon in the door. It'll get the guard's attention, and you can flee!

> Flip that table.

> Grab that fire-poker.

Try to bribe it. It works for 99% of your problems.

>Aggressively offer the gentleman a cigar.