game
>Jack: Lament current situation.
You are now ARCHAGENT
JACK NOIR. You oversee various affairs of a DARK KINGDOM.
You view the affairs of the kingdom through a series of FENESTRATED WALLS. You have three walls, nearly enough to form a CUBICLE OF VIGILANCE, which is a full and proper enclosure for an agent of your stature.
However, much to your utter contempt, your FOURTH WALL was stolen some time ago.
To add to your misfortune, it seems that, as of several minutes ago, the world has turned to complete shit. Coming from an especially irascible carapacian such as yourself, such an observation isn't usually noteworthy. But you're damn certain there's a deeper issue at hand today. Everything around you is disturbingly rough, discontinuous, and undetailed. Your subordinates and even your one superordinate now speak and behave like incoherent toddlers who poop hard in their baby ass diapers. And worst of all, the queen herself now demands that you wear these hideous...what the hell are these even supposed to be? Pajamas? You're beginning to feel irritated, if not rancorous.
What will you do?
>jaqk: stab knif with ohter knif
You would
never hurt an innocent knife. Or a guilty one, such as your own, for that matter. Besides, you're only carrying the one...
Oh hell no. You call this a knife? You couldn't even eviscerate a small child with this knife. It was nice and sharp earlier. Looks like you'll need to find a new one. Goddamned metaphysical anomalies.
Heh...what? Oh. Right.
You've recently received reports from your agents, stating that Dersite geneticists in the Veil have sighted Prospit's queen near the edge of the Incipisphere. She was all alone, no ship or anything, they said. You didn't believe them until now.
You wonder what she could possibly be up to. It looks like she isn't even wearing her ring. With their queen missing, the golden kingdom is no doubt in a state of weakness. This could be an opportunity for Derse to strike...
No. This could be an opportunity to claim Prospit's throne for yourself.
You'd better check out the situation in the throne room.
Who the hell is she.
Well, no matter. That ring doesn't even seem to work on her. You're sure you can take her out in one stab.
You've got no clue what the deal is with that flashy animal, though. Looks like it's got some sort of space powers. Could be what the girl used to eject the queen to the furthest regions of the Incipisphere. You'd better send an agent to investigate before you go barging in. You're ambitious, but being stupid ain't gonna get you nowhere. That's what the Droll is for.
That joke is less funny when every person on the god damned planet acts like the Droll.
Jack: Be annoyed by this yellow garbage you're having to wear.
Jack: Seek better outfit than this yellow garbage.
Jack noir: Take off your awful yellow outfit
You'd prefer just about anything over this outfit. Hell, you'd rather be dressed as a fucking clown than as whatever this is supposed to be. But the queen would kill you if you refused to abide by dress code.
If your Prospit operation goes smoothly, you'll ditch the clothes as soon as you're free of Her Hideousness' reign.
jagk: kill blpack quen becase sheis anoing biatch
Yeah...when the time is right, of course. Can't rush these things, you know? You've got to be strategOH MY GOD
Nothing's going on here ma'am just workin' on all that paperwork over there ha ha you know how it is.
Okay, the truth is, that new look of hers kind of really creeps you the fuck out. Unless that ring comes off, you'd rather stay away from her. You'll probably just order somebody to off her later on. There's plenty of other fish out there for you to stab personally.
Jagk: Ask AR to report back already
Alright, alright, back to business.
You ask the Authority Regulator what the situation is with the roller coaster. He tries to tell you something, but speaks incoherently. What? You don't speak idiot. He laughs, then tells you he doesn't get it. You inquire as to whether the damn humans are dead or not. He says something that sounds like the humans survived the attack because their roller coaster turned into three roller coasters instead of exploding. You wonder how someone can possibly be that incompetent at blowing people up. He says he was never a very good aim. You thought he was supposed to be, you don't know, an
Authority Regulator? He murmurs something self-consciously.
You ask if he at least knows where the survivors landed. You think he says that the front car landed somewhere around the house on LOLAF, the middle car passed through LOLAF's second gate, and the third car went to...jail? No, he said Veil. Alright. You've got one more assignment for him. An easy one, something even he should be able to do. The White Queen has been spotted at the edge of the Incipisphere. She's defenseless, and she seems to be trapped by a lack of momentum. You need him to capture her and bring her to a prison cell for interrogation. You ask him if he thinks he can handle that. He mutters something. You say what? He says something about being afraid of monsters out there. Does he mean the horrorterrors? Is he a Dersite or not, for Bilious' sake? Those things have always been harmless. He says fine, he'll see what he can do, but he sounds terrified. You tell him to quit being a fucking baby or you'll send him to the prison cell in the queen's place. He makes a sort of whimpering noise.
You've never wanted to destroy the world more than you do now.
youre are now RUBS JUICE... .
hrates bocars is tellig yuo about the kissig rollercotser kids, he say itsd' his O. T. P you think they sounds realy cute. yuo wish you had a romants like that.,!
youre receipt of a message from jagk. to tell you all must go to see him for a meetting of urgency!
What? You've always been Jack. You don't have time for this bullshit.
You tell the group to gather around, 'cause you've got assignments for them. Three humans seem to have entered the Incipisphere on a roller coaster, but—...you notice the three of them starting to blush again. You tell them to wipe that putrid color off their faces or you'll cut it off. They scrunch up their faces, like they're trying really hard to stop blushing, but they are unsuccessful. God, just, never mind, you say. The humans don't seem to be heroes of LOLAF or LODAR. You've got no idea how or why they're here, but it's time to take them out. The Droll starts blushing even harder. What the fuck is it now, you ask seethingly. He says, you mean like, take them out on a date? You say no, you mean take them out like stab them until they die. He says oh.
You tell them that the blond kid fell into LOLAF's second gate. If you recall correctly, it should lead to some place on LODAR. Taking care of him will be the Brute's job. The adult human disappeared into the Veil. The Dignitary will locate him and send him to a better place. The Droll will go to Prospit and investigate the girl who usurped the throne. Be careful, you say. She's got some sort of omnipotent pet guarding her. He should put them both to rest, if he can. Otherwise, just determine their weaknesses and report back. He says okay. He also asks you why you keep calling him the Droll. You say because that's his name. The Courtyard Droll. He says that his name is...Rubs Juice? No, that doesn't even sound remotely similar to his name, you say. You ask him how he could possibly fuck it up that badly. He reluctantly agrees with you about his name, but seems confused. You tell them you'll go after the nerdy looking kid on LOLAF. He should be near a couple of other humans. Maybe you can kill three birds with one stone. Literally. You clarify that the bird part isn't literal. The kill part is. Because you're going to kill them. The Brute appears crestfallen.
They're dismissed. Don't fuck this up, you say. You're running out of patience today.
vote whish characer too be...
(is is picture intractive? click to find out
[if you'n alreadily submit a command for next winner earler, i will use thosed[
and eri facepalming the keyboard might count. 
