Europa Omega

...I guess I'll have to respond to that message.

"Hyello? You're asking me to drop communism, but you made nukes. Do you want another Cold War or not?

Me, I do not. I do not approve of your unwarranted aggression, and I highly doubt the United Nations look favorably upon you. If you want to pick your fights, pick them, but not all of them at once. You are no hyperpower.

This is the President of Russia, signing out."

Economy:
Attempt to create 1 unit of Lingonberry Jam. I'm not sure what additional utility this would have over Lingonberries, but it's certainly delicious.

Diplomacy:
Freak the hecc out and try to figure out what exactly a "Church of Ribel" is. Isn't that one of those weird regional European foods...? Don't tell me that one of the God-Kings is actually taking the "God" part seriously...

Technology:
10 Finnballs into Improved Targeting Systems! Computers, to help assist pilots in tracking and successfully shooting their targets. If we can miniaturize the lasers or make them more efficient, that is always welcome too!

Intelligence:
10 Finnballs into creating a counter-intelligence division for the Supo. I probably should have done this earlier, but it's probably prudent to put up defenses against hacks and other cyberattacks on our country.

Military:
Create a wing of experimental "laser fighters," for training purposes only (for now). Start doing very basic field tests with only one fighter out at a time, to see how effective they are as a weapon (setting aside accuracy concerns for now).

Conduct tests of the new lasers as defensive anti-personnel emplacements, using them like machine guns. Also try mounting them on armored vehicles to act as an anti-tank or anti-air vehicle, and see how well that works.

God-Emperor Joe of Liechtenstein:

> Up the unrest in Germany to the level of outright protests. Have my spies keep an eye on the situation and try to figure out what the government is planning.

> Get to work on a missile defense system; should worries of Brazil's nukes come to fruition, I want to be able to destroy the missiles before they reach their target.

> Continue to keep an eye on the wants and needs of my followers; should any concerns come up at any point in the future, I'll want to know.

> Accept Greece's request for trade routes.

> Invest in information security for Liechtenstein and my puppet states; there's been word of information being handed out way too easily.

> Continue to spy on Mario's castle from a distance.

Your message is sent.

Your Kotlets improve the anti-missile system, which allows for the placement of more missiles across Russia, leaving no gaps around it. With your supervodka you create the seawater engines, which increase production by another ton.

Drew Carey laughs, and elects to give the Cosmonauts, which he supernaturally seems to call by name, 100 points. After this, Curiosity elects that it has been defeated, and is promptly shot by the cosmonauts.

Inspecting the rubble that used to be Curiosity, they find a small rock placed inside it with a gemstone. It seems unusual.





The 4 tons of Super-Hutspot allow for your technicians to produce the chainsaw swords and machine guns that they strap to it.

Your infantry now has some smarter more modern armor. It's not as advanced as stuff as you've seen in fiction, but it allows for your infantry to lift more, run faster, and generally be better.

With all your remaining Super-hutspot you create several new rockets which could head to Neptune, possibly with people onboard. The problem is making a bomb large enough to blow up Neptune. That'll be more difficult.


If you insist.

Your donations create a lot more hospitals around China, plus it goes partially into education to encourage more people to go into medicine. This generally improves health.

You create the very secret intelligence agency. Nobody who works for it actually knows its proper name, so they call is V.S.I.A (Very Secret Intelligence Agency). You can now secretly direct them to secretly investigate any specific targets you have, secretly.

You're slightly off from what I've been keeping track of. Based on that you have 6 tons of Duck, 2 tons of Ultra-Rie, and 2 tons of Ultra-Pancakes.


With your current resources you can build 6 factories, costing you 16 of yourbetter wine. These produce 

That seems like a good idea, but your nearest target is Australia or New Zealand if you can get it to travel that far.


You select a person and start getting him to train himself in the usage of the artifact. He's getting pretty good at it, and nature is now at your/his command.

It gobbles it up. The single fish makes no significant change to anything.

You find a small temple mostly covered by snow. Inside there's a pedestal.

Inside it, there's a pedestal and an inscription behind it.



Your scientists, after creating one unit after using 1 ton of Lingonberries, think that the Lingonberry jam could be used as a sauce to improve other foods.

It seems like the Church of Ribel is worshipping a guy named Joe, but that's about all the about section seems to specify.

It seems aiming is a lot less of an issue now that the pilot can set the laser to not hit other ships that it can identify as its own, but it seems to fail at identifying some planes as enemy models if they are similar enough to the ones your infantry uses.

Your Counter-Intelligence Division of the Supo is done. It can do all you described with state of the art equipment and so much more.

The Laser Fighters Wing is currently testing. They seem very powerful as weapons, however, most of their firepower is in the laser and leaves very little room for anything else onboard.

While you can't use any real people for the anti-personnel emplacements, it looks like they burn the dummies you've set up pretty bad. That might be considered a little inhumane as a weapon. It works very well as Anti-Air and Anti-Tank weapons, as it seems like they would function very well in this sort of position.

Venezuela approaches you as it wishes to join the Meatball Alliance. It states offically that it wants to do this primarily for Economic reasons. It states it would be able to provide Cachitos.
 

Your team approaches the Castle. A man with Overalls seems to pop his head out of the mouth. He's wearing a white hat, red overalls, and a white shirt. In his right hand, he seems to have a fireball. He yells to your group. "What are you doing here?"

You manage to improve the Rockets so they'll get to their destinations faster, and safer. You could get them to somewhere like Mars in one turn.


Through your mind control, a lot of people are starting to become unsatisfied with their current president for reasons they cannot really understand and usually assign to random reasons they arbitrarily come up with.

You, with 10 Ribel, create a new Missile Defense system. This should be able to intercept anything towards you. 

You accept Greece's offer, now you can discuss with them what exactly you'll be trading.

You find out that while security is fine, it seems the Mind Control makes people in their countries generally susceptible. It'll have to be improved to make them only accept commands from you. You also generally improve the security for 5 ribel, but the main issue seems to be in the humans behind the security.

You see several ships approach the castle. It appears they're from Easter Island.


You spend your money primarily on the research of how to build a super-laser sattelite, and how to make that powerful enough to actually affect things on earth. You also have a space program capable of launching the sattelites. You've got a generally good design down to hit a target with a powerful laser from orbit.

You found a Greek Military. Time to decide if you want to draft people in yet or entice people in.

You use the last two generally improving quality of life standards by funding stuff like education and hospitals and all that. People seem generally happier.

You also find out that Liechtenstein has accepted your trade route offer. Now you both can discuss it.

---

Russia:

That artifact is extremely strange. I will request a shipment of Mars Vodka, but I would like that artifact brought back to Russia for study. That guy who was there for 30 years may come back if he is sufficiently acclimatized.

On the moon, let's just invest more of the Lunar Vodka on a bigger base.

As for Earth matters... let's invest the vodka and kotlets in a counterintelligence agency. It'd be wise if I protected my secrets.

God-Emperor Joe of Liechtenstein:

> Send my spies to try to infultrate the German government and find out what they're planning.

> Talk with Greece and ask what they had in mind with the trade route.

> Invest research into inproving the mind control serum to make people only accept commands from me.

> Keep an eye on the sea castle situation and look into why Easter Island has an interest in it.

Supreme Leader Isaac of Antarctica

Whatever this "strange piece of stone" is, it's clearly too dangerous for mortal hands.
Isaac burns the journal and diverts a few of the cyborg penguins who were patrolling the border to guarding the entrance to the temple instead.
Nobody shall be allowed to enter. Nobody must find the stone.

Leader Nothing of Greece-

> This seems easier and I don't have to write in paragraphs unless I want to and it looks nice so I'm gonna write things like this from now on.

> Entice people into the military, with things like extremely small tax breaks, and that it is their duty. It would just kinda suck to just draft them, especially because this way our military is only the strong people who want to join. At least, as long as that would not

> Just in case, spend an extra 3 tons of improved Gyros to reinforce and then launch the first version of the space laser, "Πέρσης Α"

> Send telegram to Liechtenstein's leader:
    "Dearest Joseph of Liechtenstein, we are overjoyed to hear of your agreement to our trade route and possible friendship. We of Greece wish to trade some of our own spices for the secret to your seemingly supernatural control over your people and neighboring lands. If our spices alone are not enough to get you to divulge that information, then we would also pledge use of our new, how you say, super destructive space laser, in case of emergency."

> In order to ensure that telegram is not intercepted or lost, spend 2 tons of improved Gyros to buy the safest transport that can buy.

>Spend the final 5 tons of improved Gyros on funding an exploration team to find lost treasures and locations, just because everyone else seems to do it, and I definitely would jump off a bridge if all of my friends did.

You spend 10 tons, and your researchers start work on a large long-range wireless power. It seems like the problems they're currently facing is that with a long-range power transmission it'll have to have an extremely focused transmitter and a receiver precisely placed on the other end, and anyone who happens to live nearby where the electromagnetic beam is passing through to get to its target could take some of the energy with a smaller receiver of their own.

Jame's efforts have been in producing gift baskets for diplomatic use so that he can encourage trade of some of your surplus wine.

Everyone is generally worried about rising global tensions, including Brazil's Nukes, and the allegations about Britain's government had a part in recent assassinations in Europe.


Because of your advances, the Martian Artifact came back this turn as well as all the vodka. Marcus elects to come back and takes a rocket back to earth. The artifact itself seems to grant an unusual power to the user to allow them to control iron and other metals in such a way that they can telekinetically move them.

A new wing of the complex is built, which can be used pretty much for anything like farming.

Your Russian Counterintelligence Agency is built, with state-of-the-art tech that can be used to keep your secrets, well, secret. It's pretty good, and it'd take a hell of an attack to break it.

A few of your scientists approach you and state that they've come up with a few concerns regarding the new superweapon they've created. They think that if the time-space compression is broken spontaneously it may produce a brief rip in our reality. While this won't do anything dramatic like blow up the timeline or something, it might cause something else from outside our reality to sneak in.

The scientists start working on the project for 10 hutspot, with a prototype involving clearing the clouds with a tornado, and drilling deep into the mantle and then blowing it up. The current problem is that they don't really have an explosive with enough destructive capability to really break it.

The remaining politician's reactions are pretty much exasperation and resentful agreement. It appears you've pretty much weeded out all opposition towards the Netherland's complete control over the Benelux.


It appears that the German Government is working on a counter-counter mind control agent, but they seem to have an extremely secretive second project that is only being worked on by personnel specifically hand-picked by the German President. Your spies can gather that this project is called Project Edo, but they can't gain much else without exposing themselves as spies.

Greece sends a telegram: 


With 10 ribel, your scientists manage to create a mass subliminal messaging campaign to invoke specific commands to only obey orders from Joe of Liechtenstein. This appears effective in controlling your population

Using some leftover spy gear, you hear this conversation: 


The man laughs briefly before responding, "That stone is mine, I found it, I took it from King Koopa, and you aren't going to take it from me, y'hear?".

It appears that you're going to have to take it from him with force. Thank god you brought those firemages. Mario, being the special boss defending the Firestone, chooses the game via which you two will determine who wins. He elects to play a Trivia Game!

The rules of the game are simple: The man asks you a question relating to a piece of Trivia, and you ask the man one. Whoever wins is the one who can answer the other's question, and if both or neither of you get the question then the game goes on another round.

The man asks you: "In the Mario Series of games, what is Luigi's name a pun on?"

You manage to significantly increase the load capacity of the Rockets you've created.

Several explorers have stated that they've found a temple in what's current day Egypt. It seems to be primarily covered in Egyptian heiroglyhieroglyphs that seems to have been constructed by the Ancient Egyptians. It has an inscription nearby a pedestal.



The journal is destroyed, and several penguins are now patrolling the entrance to the Temple.

You receive a small gift basket from "James from Tasmania", containing a bottle of wine and some cheese. It has a note offering a trade deal where Antartica can recieve Wine that's being produced in Tasmania.


It seems like Russia has been working on a lot of projects, but it's hard to gain much information of what they've been doing due to some efforts on their part. Other than that, things seem to be going as usual.

You send most of the boats and planes you already have to patrol the South, East, and West China sea. You spend 2 tons of Peking Duck on this militarizing.

Through spending 4 tons of Ultra-Pancakes you find some old Chinese texts containing rituals with which to summon a Chinese Dragon. You awaken one and give it the rice and the Peking Duck as an offering. After telling it that you want it to awaken the rest of the dragons, it says that will take some time, perhaps as long as three turns, and sets off to the task you've assigned it to do.


The tax cuts do seem to get some people interested, and some people start signing up.

The first space laser is launched. It looms over the world, ready to blast things with a command.

The transport of your message is as safe as it can get, and successfully gets to Liechtenstein without being intercepted.

Your exploration team finds some wreckage in the Gulf of Corinth that has some ancient shattered pottery, and what appears to some sort of mystical Trident. It seems to grant the person holding the trident some power over the sea. Neat!


The Lingonberry Jam and the Finnballs (Which I am suddenly suprised to find out is actually a thing) increases the efficency of finnballs to 3x that of regular Lihapullat. 

You change your title. A lot of people are supportive of this decision, including Great Britain and fellow Meatball alliance member the United States.

Speaking of the United States, it doesn't seem too keen on Venezuela joining the alliance, but can't really do anything to contest it, so one of the representatives sits there looking kind of sour about the situation.

A solution that your scientists have come up with for the friendly tracking is to place special markings on the planes that the systems inside the planes look out for, which helps considerably when finding which kind of planes are Finnish and aren't.

Some lower powered lasers have been developed to the specifications you laid out, notably with both a "stun" and a "kill" setting. Notably, since these lasers are smaller and much less power intensive, it might be possible to develop some kind of weapon that uses them that could be carried by infantry.

The generators required for the lasers are miniaturized, as well as the power consumption is lowered for the lasers. This generally allows for the planes to carry more equipment, but it still seems like the laser fighters aren't going to be very good for carrying equipment.

You've hired some white-hat hackers to assist in the Supo, generally improving security at the cost of 2 Finnballs.

The Laser Wing's training exercises continue.

The Anti-Tank and Anti-Air Laser weapons are placed into service as well. The Ski infantry appears to be mostly working on maneuvers, with the laser-skii's actually allowing them to go uphill, letting them do a whole slew of maneuvers to attack in mountain landscapes.

---

> Luigi's name is a pun on "ruiji", which means similar in japanese, because of how similar Mario and Luigi look. Now for my trivia question: According to Maori mythology, what is the origin of dogs ?

"Nuuuu blyaaat... Honestly, I never wanted to get into war, but with so many problems... I suppose it's our turn to play the well-meaning hyperpower."

Russia, Resources:

Half my kotlets go back into creating even better kotlets, and the other half into improving the counterintelligence agency.

Half my supervodka is to go into improving the anti-nuke defense system. The other half will be dedicated to mapping out similar systems for the Netherlands, Finland and Venezuela.

All of my Martian Vodka will go into trying to create failsafes to prevent the time-space compression from breaking. The world does not need another potential Chernobyl.

Russia, Miscellaneous:

Marcus will be given a place to stay.

The artifact will be kept on my person. I know it'd be more thematically appropriate if I were a dictator, but I'd rather not have some random schmuck play around with it. In the meantime, I would like to test out the artifact's capabilities in a safe and secret place.