DETERMIBENT (Text Adventure) [COMPLETE]

>DAVE: Fast forward until your house is a little taller, walk up to where the LICHES were, then rewind.
>BRO: Catch DAVE.
>ARGO: DREAM.
>REZI: Facepalm x2 COMBO.
>REZI: Leave ARGO a message about JASPERS.
>REZI: PESTER JADE.
>JOHN: Consider storing something in the VOID.

>please stop crying ms. egbert, rezi needs yoU!
>Father: Sing Jade a lullaby.

>please stop crying, ms. egbert. yoU don't have to listen to her anymore.

"Oi." The Ghost of Vriska's Past turns to look at this random troll that's intruding on her haunting space in the EGBERT HOUSEHOLD. "Step off, greenie. I've got di8s here."

"No," The troll girl shakes her head. "YoU don't!"

And then she throws a simple PSYCHIC PUSH Vriska's way, banishing her back to the dream bubbles for the time being. Damned hitchhikers will do anything to get out of that place these days, up to and including waking up a wandering dreamer and bodily FOLLOWING THEM into reality again.

>You are now...

The PSYCHIC PROJECTION OF CALLIE LEIJON. You're not really here physically, just like Vriska's GHOST wasn't really here, but that was enough for her to cause Jade no end of EMOTIONAL PAIN.

You're not really OLIVE BLOODED as you pretend to be, but in fact you are LIME BLOODED. Lime Blooded Trolls have the exact opposite powers of those PURPLE BLOODED psychics higher on the HEMOSPECTRUM: The ability to CALM THE MIND.

You reach out to JADE and begin to sooth her raging emotions. It will still be some time before she's ready to help Rezi ENTER THE GAME, but for the time being you're focusing everything you can into speeding that along. Vriska may have had the wrong way of going about it, but she was right in trying, at least, to get Jade helping sooner.

Clocks are Ticking and TIME IS DEAD KIDS.

>Father: Sing Jade a lullaby.

Jade's Father starts to sing a soothing song, and you decide to sing along.

In the Reality of the METEOR you and your FELLOW TROLLS are stuck on, this comes off as a strange event. Quite a few of your TEAMMATES give you strange looks for singing this HUMAN SONG.

Your LEADER briefly accosts you, asking if you're trying to calm everyone down here or just annoying everyone, but you just smile and point at the screen without missing a note or word.

He accepts this as an acceptable use of your powers and goes back to work trying to help further along a PLAN that might just retroactively strand all of you on this METEOR.

>BRO: React.

You are now briefly DAVE'S BRO, and you have just watched a FUTURE DAVE knock YOUR DAVE unconscious with a SHITTY SANTA STOCKING. When you ask why, he just explains it away as another stable time loop being completed.

Eh, that's Fair Enough, you suppose.

>JOHN: Consider storage of PLANETS and GOD-FROGS.

SBURB generated planets? Yeah, sure, you can probably store a whole session's worth in here. NORMAL Planets??? That'd be a bit tricky without a SUN.

As for UNIVERSE FROGS??? You probably could fit something in here. After all, this IS the VOID BETWEEN MULTIVERSES. If it's big enough to fit whole SPIRALING GALAXY SHAPED MULTIVERSES with ROOM TO SPARE and still be called a VOID, what's one GENESIS FROG on top of it?

>JOHN: Look for FIREFLIES.

Oh, hey, there's one now. Hello there, little one!

You let the Firefly land on your finger.

You will name it something suitably WHIMSICAL later, when a name comes to you.

>ARGO+DAVE: Investigate.

A brief casual glance confirms that you are on PROSPIT'S DREAMERS MOON, you are headed towards a SKAIAN ECLIPSE, which, if you knew what that meant, would explain why nobody is out on the streets right now.

A DREAM TOWER is within close traveling distance. The other is a BIT FURTHER AWAY.

>Derse Dreamers: be seen

You are now briefly a PARCEL MISTRESS. Wow, are those Derse's dreamers!? After what happened to DERSE earlier today, you're quite surprised to see them both up and about! Everyone was sure they were dead after the MYSTERIOUS ACCIDENT!

You rush off towards the NEAREST TRANSPORTALIZER! The QUEEN simply *MUST* be informed of her kingdom's newest guests!!

>Derse Dreamers: Make for the nearest DREAM TOWER, it is time for a SLEEPOVER.

You head to the nearest DREAM TOWER, and ASCEND via DREAM WINGS.

Inside you find....

Nobody. There is nobody in this room. Whichever DREAM SELF inhabits this room, they are very obviously SLEEP WALKING, because as far as the readership is aware, both PROSPIT DREAMERS are AWAKE in their normal self bodies.

>Argo: Examine Room

This appears to be the dream room for JADE EGBERT. It's basically a GOLDEN VERSION of the room you've seen many times over the years.

Hey, look, over there's the TIKKI PLUSH Rezi got her, except it's all DREAM LIKE AND ANIMATED despite the fact that it really shouldn't be buzzing around the room like it was ALIVE.

Curled up on the bed is a PHANTOM GHOST PUPPY that you recognize as BECQUEREL when he was a PUPPY.

Jade must be a really vivid dreamer to have such an animated dream room even when not inside it.

>JADE: DREAM.

While Jade has calmed down somewhat, she is still not calm enough to be willing to listen to commands.

The PSYCHIC PROJECTION of Callie glares off screen at an intruding SPIDER TROLL who thinks she can slip back in to wrest command of the narrative again.

>Dave: Investigate other Tower

Time to get this dream flight stuff under control.

You take off like a rocket towards the other dream tower.

Inside you find the room's OCCUPANT. A Girl who looks like REZI would if she had BLACK HAIR instead of BLONDE. You're not quite sure if it's just the strange lighting filtering in from the window or not, but you could swear her skin is GREY HUED.

>Dave: Check head for horns

You're not going to do that. You just decide to give her a pat on the head and head back to the other t-OW!!

Okay what the fuck??

You brush some hair away and find a set of SHARP POINTED CANDY CORN HORNS.

...You guess in her dreams, Rezi is some kind of CANDY CORN VAMPIRE ALIEN??

Whatever, it's her dream room.

>Dave: Snoop

This... this room is a complete and total mess of colors and wall decorations.

You wouldn't even know where to begin with snooping in here.

>{S} Argo: Locate Jade

You're a bit worried that your COUSIN isn't in here. You slip out of the dream tower and start shifting your nose to have a CAT'S SENSE OF SMELL.

As you're doing this, Prospit's MOON begins to ECLIPSE with SKAIA.

CLOUDS begin drifting past, changing shape and imagery as they drift past. You see a RING-FOUR FOLD- then a RING EIGHT FOLD- TWELVE FOLD- NONE.

You observe YOUR HOUSE, going from non existent to being built, and then entering SBURB and then growing taller and taller.

You observe the house suddenly becoming SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE, and there is a girl you don't recognize living there.

That cloud passes, replaced by another, and you see a GIRL who looks like Jade, except... different??

You see DAVE, then His BRO, and then his BRO when he's YOUNGER.... followed by a boy in blue who also looks like JADE... almost like a brother, but she doesn't have a brother.

Then, you see the boy in blue somewhere in PROSPIT, slowly dragging Jade back towards her Dream Tower, and you???

You turn around, and you see this same boy pulling a slumbering Jade back towards her tower.

He starts to say something, but that's when you feel a SHARP PAIN in your chest.

You look down, seeing blood start to emerge from your rib cage...

What...?

As you start to feel faint, you catch a glimpse of a cloud...

A PROSPITIAN INTRUDER stands over your SLEEPING BODY, a STEAK KNIFE in your chest, and the BARK JOURNAL in his hands.

That bastard killed you to loot the journal...!

That is when you BLACK OUT.

> END OF ACT 1(V.2)

>ACT 2(V.2)

You are now the PROSPITIAN INFILTRATOR.

You are a member of A SECRET SPECIAL OPERAIONS FORCE. Your group's ULITMATE GOAL is to create a WAR BEAST that will DECIMATE DERSE's FORCES with minimal bloodshed of Prospitian life.

To do that, you were given free reign to do whatever you deem necessary to achieve your goals, even if it means that you have to fight your own people once they find out what you've done.

Step 1: Retrieve GENETIC CODE JOURNAL.

Why didn't the girl leave it in the safe? You had to kill her in order to open her FETCH MODUS. Oh well, she's a Derse Dreamer, nobody on Prospit cares about those kids.

In fact, you'll bet that if DERSE weren't in such a DISARRAY because of the MYSTERIOUS ACCIDENT, they'd be the ones to throw more of a fit once they learn.

Not that you'll be around in the future to reap the rewards.

>FUTURE DAVE: revive kiss ARGO.

Eh? What's this? It's the KNIGHT OF TIME, bursting dramatically out of a CLOSET in some attempt to AVENGE his fellow Derse Dreamer.

Nobody is sure what the PRINCESS's title is, but you've gained some sudden insight.

Corpse of Time Bait.

Step 2: Acquire Time Tables

You Smirk, and grab a CARBON ROLLER off the ground near the ALCHEMITER, and wield it improperly like a swordkind weapon when it's CLEARLY PAINTROLLERKIND.

The KNIGHT grits his teeth and prepares for BATTLE.

>CALLIE: Invite VRISKA in, offer her a different w--

You are now CALLIE LEIJON, no longer a PSYCHIC PROJECTION, and you're just going to stop that intrusive thought right there.

You know ALL TOO WELL the trouble that Ghost will cause if you even dare give her an inch. Half of your Sessions' TROUBLES were because of her, after all, and, you're beginning to suspect, the cause of the CURRENT SITUATION as well, given that it ties into this KID'S SESSION.

>CALLIE + VRISKA: Have a TEA P8RTY.

Oh, now you KNOW she's trolling you with these thoughts, you shudder with a grimace as you feel those peculiar tendrils of psychic energy trying to weave into your thinkpan.

Anyone who's spent as long in the FURTHEST RING as that ghost has is never going to listen to anyone but HERSELF, even if she pretends she's doing it in "EVERYONE'S INTERESTS."

>DREAM DAVE: Get DREAM REZI over to JADE'S DREAM TOWER.

Having seen the HORRORS IN THE CLOUDS, you grab DREAM REZI, and haul ass over to JADE'S TOWER.

>JOHN: Get DREAM JADE and DREAM ARGO to JADE'S DREAM TOWER.

You do that. You enter before DREAM DAVE arrives, and tuck Jade into BED. You wish you could do more for Argo, but, as a quick glance into the clouds confirms, FUTURE DAVE is already on that.

You'll leave the time travel up to him for the moment.

>JOHN: Check DREAM JADE for DOG EARS, TAIL.

Of course she has DOG EARS. Her Dreamself has always had them this time around. You're fairly certain you know what's going to happen... again, you mean.

>JOHN: Check on Terezi

You ZAP over to the ISLAND, and INVESTIGATE. You know predestination is a thing you're trying not to mess with but you know all too well that Terezi wouldn't have allowed this if she were aware of what happened.

You find the girl knocked out over her computer in the ATRIUM. Looks like something flew in through the window and hit her over the head hard enough to knock her flat out entirely, rather than sending her to PROSPIT.

That is... worrysome.

>DREAMERS: Have a SLEEPOVER.

You're now Dream Dave once more, and you arrive in Jade's tower just in time to watch SOME GHOST disappear in a flash of BLUE LIGHT.

Damn Ghosts be EVERYWHERE.

>DREAM BEC: Lick your DREAM MASTER awake.

Unfortunately, DREAM BEC is just a DREAM CONSTRUCT, and has no real means of affecting things. He is as much a part of JADE'S PSYCHE as JADE'S DREAMSELF is! If she wants to wake up by way of PUPPY LICKS, that is how she'll wake up.

>Dream Dave: Kiss Dream Argo back to life.

You don't think that mechanic works that way.

You'll have to focus on keeping pressure on the wound and trying to keep her from bleeding out... and you aren't sure if that would even work in this situation, since this is just a DREAM BODY.

You keep glancing out the WINDOW to observe the BATTLE in a PASSING CLOUD...

You hope FUTURE YOU manages to do whatever he's set out to do before she dies on you.

>MOM: Now would be a good time to show up.
>REZI: DREAM.

>REZI: Hang out with VRISKA.
>QUEEN: React.
>DREAM DAVE: Look at where PI came from.
>Young Rouge-Knight, you must ascend, expeditiously.
>ARGOSPRITE: ASCEND to FIRST GATE.

>Argosprite: Mental breakdown.
>Rezi: Attempt to comfort Argosprite.
>Callie: Attempt to comfort Argosprite.
>Dave: ALCHEMIZATION MONTAGE!!!!!

>Dave: Douse self in water!
>Callie: Use psychic powers on Argo.
>Rezi: Explore.

The image won't load. Could you post it in a spoiler?

>Dave: Douse self in water!

You do that.

OH GOD WHY DOES IT BURN EVEN MORE!?!?!

Apparently this particular type of paint thinner hates water with EXTREME PREJUDICE, because it's starting to SMOKE AND TURN INTO FIRE.

>Callie: Use psychic powers on Argo.

Unfortunately, you already tried it without her permission. It seems that becoming a SPRITE has made her particularly IMMUNE to your powers, although you did feel that she would be acceptable to their influence if she knew you were doing it to help her. You keep trying to message her to no avail.

Stupid SBURB SPRITE CODE.

>Rezi: Explore.

Your GUT INSTINCT tells you that's exactly what Vriska WANTS you to do. But hey, you've been able to handle her in the past before, you can do it now.
[...graveyard stuffers...]
You find a CRACK where reality bleeds through from your ATRIUM to... hey, is this DERSE??

>JACK: React.

You are now JACK NOIR.

God. DAMN IT. Prospit.

When one of their ARCHAGENTS goes ROGUE, they really, REALLY, GO FUCKING ROGUE.

Blowing up DERSE'S MOON and throwing it into SKAIA? Following SUIT by wreaking havoc on PROSPIT?? Not to mention the fact that one of your TOP AGENTS saw a SKAIAN CLOUD Showing the same guy using time travel to KILL ONE OF THE PLAYERS.

If this were any other time, you might be FUCKING AMUSED.

Unfortunately, you're SO VERY, VERY, NOT AMUSED.

>JN + DD + HB + CD: Status update.

You get on the radio and get the DRACONIAN DIGNITARY on the line. He says the BLACK QUEEN is hip with the idea of using HER RING in the field against this rogue agent. Show PROSPIT how a REAL ARCHAGENT works his magic. You say to tell the Queen you'd be honored to take up the role of her PERSONAL EXECUTIONER against this ROGUE ELEMENT.

The BRUTE insists that he continues to HATE TIME TRAVEL, but reports that the GIRL was resurrected in her SPRITE. You say good, now you can tell the PRESSES that the GIRL ISNT TOTALLY DEAD YET and you've all got a chance of turning this coup right back on PROSPIT'S SHINY CROWNED HEADS.

The DROLL reports that the SKAIAN CLOUDS are having a hard time keeping track of the PROSPITIAN ROGUE. Seems sort of like he KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE THE CLOUDS ARE WATCHING. But then again, maybe it's all the TIME TRAVEL, since it seems like the KNIGHT OF TIME has made it his personal goal to BRING THIS GUY DOWN. You say, Hey, Cool, maybe we can cut a deal with the DERSITE PRINCE and get him to help you CUT THIS SITUATION OFF before it comes to a head.

The DIGNITARY says that the Queen is on her way down to your office. You say, Sweet, I'll get my hat. The DROLL asks WHAT HAT?!!!! with way too many audible exclamation marks and question marks. The DIGNITARY tells the DROLL to calm the fuck down, it's just the same CAT EARED HATS that everyone's had to wear since the Girl entered. The DROLL says Oh.

Then, he asks, could we maybe get some more hats?

You say, Not with this Budget.

The Droll mutters a tiny, but adorable, curse of dismay.

>JOHN: Grab the MOON, nobody will need it much longer, you might want it later, and watching the reactions could be fun.

You ZAP into SPACE above EARTH, shortly before JADE will enter. Hers is, of course, the LARGEST METEOR, as is always the case. So, the Earth won't be needing THIS!

You ZAP the MOON into the VOID.

>JOHN: In fact, consider grabbing most of the other large rocky bodies in the solar system, they could be useful later.

And why not complete the WHOLE SET?? You ZAP AWAY the OTHER PLANETS of the SOLAR SYSTEM, along with the SUN.

You ALMOST MISS getting PLUTO, though. Sneaky little planetoid thought it could get away from you, but you snag it regardless of its PLANETARY STATUS. Pluto will ALWAYS be a Planet in YOUR HEART.

If only your DAD could see you now. Saving whole SOLAR SYSTEMS for the sheer thrill of it.

None of that was going to get hit by meteors or anything but- Oh, whoops, there's that biggest meteor you were just talking about.

TSUNAMIS and DUST CLOUDS cover the planet. It's like the EXTINCTION OF THE DINOSAURS all over again.

Meh. Not like it would have done you any good anyways. You've still got a BACK UP EARTH from the LAST GO AROUND anyways.

So, uh, Thanks Past-Future Dead-Not-Blind-Troll Terezi from a DOOMED TIMELINE?? Your thinking really paid off there, you suppose.

Speaking of REZI, you wonder what she's up to in dream-land?

>DAVE: Try the SHAVING CREAM.

ShavingCreamShavingCream---You spend several seconds being starting to catch fire rifling through the LALONDE'S BATHROOM trying to find SHAVING CREAM. All you find is a LASER RAZOR- MomLalonde's only shaving tool required no SHAVING CREAM so that's OUT.

Also. OW. OW. OW. That's actual fire now. OW. Great. Just what the LALONDE HOUSEHOLD NEEDED: another FIRE.

>JOHN: DWARF PLANETS are totally PLANETS.

Hell Fuckin' YES they are.

>JOHN: Just ZAP to the DREAM BUBBLE in which REZI currently resides.

You first ZAP BACK to the ATRIUM where Rezi is still asleep. Then, you focus on the ideas/concepts of REZI and DREAMING and PRESENT, and ZAP!!!

You find yourself in a weird merged version of DERSE and the ATRIUM.

Rezi is ARGUING with a certain TROLL GIRL GHOST...

Holy shit, is that VRISKA??? What the hell happened to her???