Destroy Lord English

*slips into sail costume*
update trickle

Hmm...
So there's actually real stuff going on here.
Interesting.
Good luck to you peeps.
I think we can handle English on our own for now if you need to bail.
I've handled worse.

Anyways, I say hello to the baby bunnies...
By throwing them into the outer circle where they will be eaten by horror terrors as soon as they are attackable.
This isn't technically an attack, it's just moving them.
And thusly, removing a threat.

8/10 for MADNESS!!!

I look at LE.
"Howdy there Caliborn."
"Although I guess there's bits and pieces of other people in there too, huh?"
"Ah, whatever."
"That's not the point. The point is that we have, once again, utterly smashed through your defenses."
"How ironic that time is your enemy, since it'll only be so long before we bring you all the way down."
"Savor this fight, it'll be your last."

I cross my finger across my throat, and the Cybersaurus funnels its second charge back into the first, unleashing another stream of lazors as Moomin and The Dude charges around from the sides to assail the mighty skull demon.

To other players: Guys, I think its time for a combo attack. Let's roflstomp this bonehead.

Let's finish this.

I use an electrical charge on everyone on our team, increasing charge time by one turn and X2 damage.

Iblis Uses his cool-osity to charge a beam, and plans for it to go into the cybersaurus beam, powering it up.

the Crazy Cannon begins to charge up once the cybersaurus shoots, incresing the damage output.

SANESSSSS Charges a Tom Blaster, yadda yadda yadda.

Uuuugh...
Where... Am I?
What happened here?
My head hurts... so... much...
Oh, hey. Piono. Glad to see you. I really don't know what happened. 
I guess we're still doing it, huh? Alright, so... Looks like Hamtaro is down? Wait, I remember! You threw him in the Ring! Right! And then... I... don't remember. 
Something is going down. I'm sure of it.

Anyways, you really did a number on English! Good job!
You also sort of... moved the bunnies. Cruel.
I see we're going back to our roots, huh?

Anyways, English gets really tired of this bullshit. Moomin is standing right in front of him, but he hesitates to kill him, because he was his childhood hero and stuff. Instead, he charges a beam and fires it at the Dude. Ouch.

Wait, Piono, there's an object at the middle of the field. It has this big lever thing, maybe you should pull it? You'll need other people's help, though, I think. It'll take quite some time to pull it, try charging an attack at it. Be careful not to break the... "machine", I guess.

Due to a lack of enemies, English summons SOUP-ER MAN [x1] and THE FLASH FLUSH [x1].
Soup-er Man's only weakness is Soup-tonyte, the elusive and rare crystal. And The Flush is just a toilet, he won't do much, but I don't really know how to eliminate him.
Uuuh, Templar, I was only gone for one page and you already became some creepy villain/anti-hero? Bro. Come on. Where's the awesome BLACK KNIGHT we all know and love?

BOOM!
You and Piono already have the x2 on charge, so now you get damage.
Arcane gets a x2 on charge and damage.
Templar gets a x2 on charge and damage for whatever horrible deeds he wants to do.

Iblis used BEAM-TECH: Fusion of the Allies, and powered up the Cybersaurus's beam, so that his primary beam takes two turns instead of three and his secondary one takes four.

Good job with handling your summon, you move him a lot. Now he has even more HP.
Alright, another DMG boost!
Everyone gets more boosts, now turning into a x4 DMG boost. You guys are invincible, though. You can only get attacked through "special" means, whatever that is.

-- !!! --

HIS LETTER IS A. 
a? what does that stand for
NOBODY KNOWS, BUT HE ADOPTED THE TITLE 'THE AUTHOR' RECENTLY. HIS ORIGINAL ONE HAS BEEN RUMORED TO BE MANY THINGS.
Like what?
ITS NOT IMPORTANT, THEY ARE MOSTLY FALSE. 
So what is it that's so important about him, huh?
HE LEADS THIS OPERATION WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING.
like a pawn
EXACTLY.
But isn't that like... using A?
YES, BUT WE NEED A. THOSE PEOPLE ATTACKING OUR... UH... "EMPLOYER" THROUGH A. WITHOUT A HE COULD NOT BE STOPPED.
but our job is to like... obey him right so if he finds out about a...
YES, BUT HE DOES NOT KNOW THAT WE ARE SECRETLY HELPING A. IF HE KNEW, HE WOULD DESTROY US.
But those people realize that it's really difficult to destroy him, right?
ITS NOT DIFFICULT. ITS IMPOSSIBLE. 
so what are they even doing 
DESTROYING HIM.
but you said it was impossible
SOMETIMES, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT THE LIMIT.
I really don't understand...
LOOK, IMPOSSIBLE DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT CANNOT THEORETICALLY HAPPEN.
that is literally the meaning of impossible
THINK OF IT THIS WAY - SOME PLACE, SOME TIME, EVERY EVENT WILL HAPPEN. IT MIGHT BE IMPOSSIBLE SOMEWHERE, BUT SOMEWHERE ELSE ITS ALREADY HAPPENING.
Still confused.
OF COURSE YOU ARE. OUR JOB IS NOT TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS.
then what is it
COME WITH ME.


-- STATS --

Moomin <PIONO>
9001/9091 HP

The Dude <PIONO>
8800/9001 HP

UNKNOWN OBJECT <!!!>
?/? CRANK

Cybersaurus Head <PIONO>
3.8k/4k HP
CHARGE USED... AGAIN!
0/2 Charge

Cybersaurus Body <PIONO>
19.8k/20k HP

Cybersaurus Tail <PIONO>
4.8k/5k HP

Harambe <DRAWNIX>
999k/999k
5/100k Dicks

Iblis Crow <SAIL>
2000/2000 HP
500/500 Cool-Osity

ORBITAL CANNON <KANE>
6M/6M HP

CRAZY CANNON <SAIL>
1M/1M HP

SANDERS <ARCANE>
12k/12k HP

SANESSS <SAIL>
1/1 HP

---

Lord English
89/100 HP

SOUP-ER MAN
100/100 POWER
5k/5k Delicious-Ness

KID FLUSH
100/100 FLUSH
5k/5k Stank

Baby Bunny (x32) [CANNOT BE ATTACKED YET]
-- DED --

Yup, I have my own wiki page, my current status is, in fact, related to current shenanigans in the DTG main.
I am famous (infamous?) for my various shenanigans in the various canonical (and some of the non-canonical) games.
Anyways, I don't know if I would say this is the "most obedient" session. Really, we're already having plots and ACTUAL shenanigans, and you haven't even hit page 8 yet. DTG1 at this stage was still just sort people throwing around random attacks and summons, and DTG2 didn't have anything major happen until further down the line either.
DTG0 was a fair bit crazier than this, but that's because it had a community of several years piled up behind it ready to make things go awry.

Also, I have not seen the Eagle Time session, if it lasted less than 5 pages (which most don't) it probably isn't worth speaking of.

Anyways, moving forward, 10/10 for MADNESS!!!
The field is full though, and in favor of our forces... I'll just hold onto this for now...

I PULL THE LEVER KRONK with the hope that somebody else will do so with me.
I don't want to waste a 10 post charge and risk breaking this thing.

My entities continue harassing LE and his forces.

18/20. "The fell dragon will rise again. WE will rise again."

Oh god, is that the color of vomit? :§
Anyways, you get the sacred ammo of COLOURS AND MAYHEM! 

You try to Flush the Flush, but Flush flushes you and flushes away... wut?
Basically, Flush dodged the attack, I guess.

Colonel Sanders shoots the crap out of English. Yeesh, that's gon- OH NO. OH NOOOO. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
You increased his chartreuse-ness bar.
GOD DAMMIT! Not more bar shenanigans!

The symbols change on the machine.
Hmmmm... weird.

Moomin and The Dude both attempt to attack Soup-er Man, but he splashes soup on Moomin! Fortunately, The Dude hits him with a bowling ball and it falls into the soup. Oh crap... he's really angry now!
Moomin gets BURNT!
You should really heal him before it's too late.

BUFF ACTIVATED!
Woah, 30 posts is a lot. 

The Cannon rams into Flush at full speed, and attacks English a bit. He dodges multiple laser but then gets shot with one. You're gonna want to lock him down if you want to laser him to death.
Flush... is not affected? He just stands there. You didn't really push him. Strange.

MEEM CHANEG! THE PLOT THICKEN!

Uhhh, you do you, Templar. 

---

English gets fed up with standing in place for so long. He's getting anxious staying in one place.
He summons Ford English [x1], the transformer. 
Ford, in turn, summons Sword English [x1], the knight.
Sword summons Bored English [x1], the lazy idiot who is too bored to summon the next guy.

It's time to move the pawns.
Ford charges up a shape-change. 1/3 into Car Mode.
Soup-er Man spills soup on Sanders. You'd better heal him!
Flush just... flushes.
Sword wants to duel Templar, so he waits for his next strike.
Bored is just bored.

THE FOUR ENGLISHES CHARGE UP A BRACKISH BRUTAL BRITISH BRAWL BREAK-DOWN.
1/5 Charge.

You'd better prepare for what will happen.

---

PS: Does anyone actually read the plot? It's okay if you don't, just tell me what I did wrong and I'll try to fix it. I really need feedback, thanks.

-- !!! --

*Silence*
*Footsteps*
*Door Creaking*
*Breathing Sounds*
The Coast Is Clear.
I Said - The Coast Is Clear.
*foot steps*
*door creaking*
is it safe?
Yes, I Think.
that's good. we should get going.
No, Wait. There's Something Weird About This Room.
Weird?
AAH! You Scared Me!
You know Me.
Yes, I Know "You", But That Doesn't Mean You Have To Scare Me Like That!
do not be so juvenile, z.
Yes, z. Don't be so... pfft... 'juvenile'... ahahahahaha!
and you too. stop this.
What do you have against Me? I haven't done anything.
you have done a lot of things.
Since when is being impeccably amazing and beautiful in every way a crime? Are you jealous of My charm and charisma?
cease this at once!
Oh man, look at her, she thinks that she's the boss just because she's second in command! Second in command to a TYRANT!
i might be second in command to a tyrant, but you are an egoistic dimwitted fool!
Guys! I Think... I See Something...
What?

-- STATS --

Moomin <PIONO>
8900/9091 HP
BURNT!

The Dude <PIONO>
8800/9001 HP

UNKNOWN OBJECT <!!!>
?/? C>4}{D|

Cybersaurus Head <PIONO>
3.8k/4k HP
1/2 Charge

Cybersaurus Body <PIONO>
19.8k/20k HP

Cybersaurus Tail <PIONO>
4.8k/5k HP

Harambe <DRAWNIX>
999k/999k
5/100k Dicks

Iblis Crow <SAIL>
2000/2000 HP
500/500 Cool-Osity

ORBITAL CANNON <KANE>
6M/6M HP

CRAZY CANNON <SAIL>
1M/1M HP

SANDERS <ARCANE>
12k/12k HP
BURNT!

SANESSS <SAIL>
1/1 HP

---

Lord English
89/100 HP
1/30 Chartreuse-ness

Ford English
1000/1000 HP
5/5 Car-ness
1/3 CAR MODE CHARGE

Sword English
1000/100 HP
5/5 Sharp-ness

Bored English
5/5 HP
1000/1000 Bored-ness

SOUP-ER MAN
100/100 POWER
5k/5k Delicious-Ness

KID FLUSH
100/100 FLUSH
5k/5k Stank

I pull the lever again, maybe we'll get a jackpot.

I dowse the various burnt peeps in water, which heals their burns.
I death-stab bored English in the eyes, continuing until he dies all the way and the number of Englishes drops to 3.

I then take a power siphon and siphon all of SOUP-ER MAN's power into The Dude. Because screw going on long convoluted quests to retrieve random weakness items.

10/10 for MADNESS!!!
2/10 for Critical Failure

4/4 Reactor
I summon the fusion reactor, which, apart from providing energy, can fuse Summons into one i've got sanders we need another volunteer. I help piono with the lever. Does everything he can to advance the chartreuse bar, from shooting bullets to painting everything in sight chartreuse.
This means his attacks this turn are weak but the chartreuse is almost full.

2/10 i'll think of something when it's charged

Yeahhhhh. I'm scared shitless. Somebody? Anybody? Help?

The symbols change yet again. Weird...

You healed the burns of Moomin and Sanders! Good job. 

Unfortunately, killing Bored English just makes Sword English summon someone else. This is how it works - the Englishes summon more and more clones until one of them is either unable to summon the next or just doesn't want to. Every clone can only summon one more clone, that's how it works.

You're in luck, actually, as the chain doesn't go on for long, again.

Sword English summons Board English, the demon of a thousand planks.
He, in turn, summons Gourd English, who instantly disappears.

WAHT POMPKEN??

Moving along, it seems you can't siphon Soup-Er Man's power. 
Some random douche really likes the idea of certain people not getting to do shit and gets stiff and hard when he learns they can't.
He shrieks and runs at you at full speed.

"OHBUTI'MAFRAIDYOUCAN'TDOTHATBECAUSEYOUDON'THAVEACLASS"
What?!

"Ahem..." 
"Oh but I'm afraid you can't do that, because you don't have a class!"

OH SHIT NO NO NO NO NO NOT THIS CLASS BULLSHIT AAAAGH.

Alright, I guess you have to...

1) Con Artist (Since everybody chose 'Rogue', they had to rename him to make him less cool.)
2) Stabber Person (Like a knight, but not quite.)
3) Scouter (Because 'Scout' wasn't good enough.)
4) Witch (The SJWs complained why everybody can be a 'Wizard' but calling a guy a 'Witch' is wrong.)
5) Semi-Berserker (Berserkers are too over-powered.)

You're not sure which one allows you to do your attack...

Instead, you can try to push it, it seems to be stuck to the ground.
You need Kane's permission, and he probably quit, so fuck it.

Arcane has a reactor set up in his post below, so I'll allow it.

INSANITY CANNON summoned!
If Kane comes back, he can dis-assemble it at will.

I highlighted the part of your text I didn't understand, you forgot to signify who did it. Anyways, I'll just assume you meant Sanders. 
English's chartreuse bar goes up!

Anyways, more action down below!

---

English decides to do more stuff.

Ford charges up a shape-change again. 2/3 into Car Mode.
Soup-er Man heats up his soup. 1/2 Soup Heating.
Sword English waits for Templar's attack.


Board English charges up a LEGENDARY BOARD CALL.
1/6 Charge. [======]

THE FOUR ENGLISHES CHARGE UP A BRACKISH BRUTAL BRITISH BRAWL BREAK-DOWN.
2/5 Charge. [=====]

You'd better prepare for what will happen.

---

-- !!! --

what have you seen?
I Don't Know. It's... Glowing...
Z, you should really step away. I'll handle it Myself.
Ugh! I Can Do It On My Own.
do what?
I Don't Know What! This Thing Is Really Disturbing.
I don't see anything disturbing in it.
of course you do not see why it is disturbing, for you yourself are more grotesque than that object.
Shut It! I'm Trying To Concentrate.
What is there to concentrate on?
Look, It's... Changing... 
ugh... i'm getting a migraine...
Woah, you're right. It is weird.
It's... Familiar, Almost.
What is it?
look! it's changing symbols again.
What does that say?
It Says... *GASP*!


-- STATS --

Moomin <PIONO>
8900/9091 HP

The Dude <PIONO>
8800/9001 HP

UNKNOWN OBJECT <!!!>
?/? Č>$(VD3

Cybersaurus Head <PIONO>
3.8k/4k HP
1/2 Charge

Cybersaurus Body <PIONO>
19.8k/20k HP

Cybersaurus Tail <PIONO>
4.8k/5k HP

Harambe <DRAWNIX>
999k/999k
5/100k Dicks

Iblis Crow <SAIL>
2000/2000 HP
500/500 Cool-Osity

INSANITY CANNON <KANE> <SAIL>
10M/10M

SANDERS <ARCANE>
12k/12k HP

SANESSS <SAIL>
1/1 HP

---

Lord English
89/100 HP
16/30 Chartreuse-ness

Ford English
1000/1000 HP
5/5 Car-ness
1/3 CAR MODE CHARGE

Sword English
1000/100 HP
5/5 Sharp-ness

Board English
999/999 HP
6/6 Board-ness

SOUP-ER MAN
100/100 POWER
5k/5k Delicious-Ness

KID FLUSH
100/100 FLUSH
5k/5k Stank

20/20.
A death knell is heard, the dragon's call, as the ground quakes while something awakens from its thousand-year slumber. Everyone's attention is brought to a massive shadow overarching the battlefield.
GRIMA, the fell dragon, has awoken. The magiknight is inexorably linked to him.
"I gave you fair warning of this. Now then... Let's begin this little brawl. The life force here shall renew me!"