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Post by danyyl on Apr 24, 2020 15:38:25 GMT
>Consider updating your garderobe after this escapade is done, maybe something mainly yellow... maybe a mask too, like one of those creepy masks. Start some mythos about the end of the world, a coming of the false messiah and so on, with you being the real messiah.
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Post by suggestification on Apr 25, 2020 1:11:56 GMT
> Okay, the way I see it there's two major solutions. Either wait it out inside this stomach until it's rotted enough to crawl out through the mutated maggots (gross and bad), or utilize some of the undigestible in there with you to CUT your way out (Also gross, but less maggots).
Or just use your teeth. You're immortal, you can *probably* gnaw your way out faster than this thing can heal.
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Post by tailortf on May 9, 2020 13:51:53 GMT
>Make sure your hat is safe from the stomach acid.
Yeah, it's safe. Just about the only thing that *is*. Dammit, you actually liked this outfit, sort of.
It made you look pretty dorky, but there's just something nice about a cool robe. Oh well.
>Just use your teeth. You can probably gnaw your way out faster than this thing can heal.
Fine, you'll do the stupid option first. Might as well.
...this tastes *bad*, but not as bad as you thought it might. Hopefully this is at least giving the stupid thing a stomachache.
>Grab the sword and stab your way out.
Hey, alright, now that's using the noodle! Granted, it might be completely eaten through by now, but you'll figure it out.
God, this crap is like sap or something, super sticky. Come on...come on...come on, you son of a-
==>
Sproing.
==>
Of course. There goes the last remaining shred of dignity.
Man, what happened? This morning you were king of a (presumably) massive empire ready to take on the world!
Now you're waiting to get pooped out by some monster.
It's probably your birthday, too. You don't *know* that it is, but that's the kind of day this has been. It would really add to the experience.
>Just wait it out.
...no, you know what? You're not gonna wallow in misery this time around. If you're gonna be sad, you'll at least be sad somewhere the hallucinations can't get to you. Hopefully you can time this power nap right so you don't, like, wake up to the Sun exploding or something.
==>
Come on, baby, let's have a good one. Sweet dreams are made of you, because you are about to have a dream.
In fact, you're about to have *the* dream. The best one. Let's do it.
==>
Let's see...flashing lights? Music loud enough that nobody can hear each other without screaming? The smell of something probably chemical and probably absolutely terrible for you?
Yep, it's *the* dream alright. The one you always hope happens.
==>
When there's nowhere else to turn, desperate travellers dream of home.
...or at least how you remember your home to have been at some point in time.
Whatever. You're in your element here. Let's tear shit up for your adoring public.
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slate
Juvesquirt
Posts: 16
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Post by slate on May 9, 2020 14:25:49 GMT
You are no longer in limited space. You can unleash the full power of the Hustle.
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Post by tailortf on May 16, 2020 14:00:19 GMT
>Show them how an immortal dances.
Hell. Yes. Hell yes! Time to hit these suckers with your star arsenal. This isn’t some prom night last dance everybody-out-on-the-dance-floor nonsense. This is the good shit.
==>
Do you hear that?! They’re loving it! And they’re loving you!! Frown…disappearing…heart…mending…cynical world view…being challenged!
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Yes! THIS is what you were born to do! THIS is what you live for! The thumping of the beat, the adoration of your fans – you need more of it! More!!
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Er…more? Where…where is everybody? Do they not like your moves anymore? Where’d the music go? You were having a good time for once…
==>
Oh, you see how it is. People don’t like the sad old relic, so they all left, is that it? Har dee har, brain. Absolutely goddamn hilarious. Well, fine, who cares?! You don’t need people anyway! Screw them! You can dance alone! Just because your style is a little dated and your shirt is a little ugly, suddenly everybody thinks it’s fine to abandon you all of the sudden?! FINE!!
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WELL NOW THOSE ASSHOLES ARE ALL DEAD!! HOW DO THEY LIKE YOU NOW?! YOU OUTLIVED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, YOU WIN!! NOBODY WILL *EVER* TELL YOU WHAT TO DO ANY-
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Pfft. Pleh. Bleh. Sand. Sand in the mouth. Why. This is the worst torture possible, *way* worse than the volcano.
==>
Well, that was different. Maybe it was the sand that brought that on, but usually that dream just ends with you dancing up a storm and getting the gold medal for first prize awarded to you by the President. You really hope you haven’t somehow screwed that one up for yourself permanently.
==>
…wait, wasn’t there supposed to be, like, a castle here? Or at least a forest?
Shit. You…may have overdone it with that nap. Let's try not to panic here.
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slate
Juvesquirt
Posts: 16
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Post by slate on May 16, 2020 14:18:21 GMT
Check out the red markings on the bloodsports beast's skull. Do they mean something?
Also, consider making it your new skull-friend.
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Post by booperdooper on May 18, 2020 4:07:46 GMT
If you aren't careful with all that waiting you keep doing, eventually you'll wait out the habitable period of this planet and be stuck with no company at all, and if you try to out wait THAT you'll end up waiting out the lifespan of the planet, and be stuck in the burning plasma sea of the local star.
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Post by mike on May 21, 2020 18:13:32 GMT
time to find an immortal woman
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Post by Subconscious on May 27, 2020 5:42:00 GMT
That dream was a subtle hint that you should try to be more friendly, or you will be alone. Forever.
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Post by tailortf on Jun 2, 2020 8:03:00 GMT
>The sword seems to still be here.
Boy, is it ever. That is…really rusty. How long does iron take to oxidize again? Dammit, if you were smart enough, you could probably figure out how long it’s been based off this! This is why you miss that Internet thing that was around for a while. You didn’t really entirely get it, but it was super useful for looking this stuff up. That and cat pictures.
>Looks like someone left you some graffiti.
Oh yeah, huh. Good to know life is still around in one way or another.
Well, the mutants bleed green-ish, so it’s not blood, that’s a good sign. Not that you really know what it actually *means*, but whatever.
>Consider making it your new skull friend.
Heh, that *would* be something, huh? You’re pretty sure you’d throw your back out carrying Giganto here around, though. And anyway, you’re still in mourning. Rolling solo for a while seems like the best option. Less chance of heartbreak that way.
>If you aren’t careful with all that waiting you keep doing, eventually you’ll end up waiting out the lifespan of the planet.
True, that is one of your principal concerns. You *were* doing something about it (even if in retrospect you’re not exactly the best at rocketry). Hopefully there’s still enough society and resources around to get off this planet before it blows. How long do you even have? Who knows.
>Consider learning astronomy.
Yeah, see, the sun looks fine right now, but for all you know, it’s- wait, is that a thing coming down here? Okay, maybe it’s just a bird or something.
==>
Well, it’s certainly not a bird, even though it’s *something*. On the one hand, you could go say hi. On the other hand, you don’t wanna get Mad Max’d in the first five minutes of being in the desert again. Getting strapped to a car wouldn’t kill you, obviously, but it’s really boring and you get a lot of bugs in your teeth after a while.
==>
Hey, Giganto really *did* come in handy! Maybe you should stick around. Clean this place up, make some “no solicitors” signs. Who’s gonna tell you you can’t, the homeowners’ association? Hey, maybe that’s who that guy is! Here to inspect the property, huh?
Okay, enough clowning. If this person is actually good at fighting, you really might have problems.
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Post by Seeing Stars on Jun 2, 2020 8:14:28 GMT
Those lines look a bit like those constellation thingies. Maybe some sort of science is going on again?
Or it could be some sort of map. Seems odd that everything doesn't connect though.
Also seems odd to be sitting in the middle of the desert like this.
Could this be that person has come here?
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LinguisticAstronomy
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Post by LinguisticAstronomy on Jun 3, 2020 0:29:47 GMT
The graffiti looks like a star map. If you're *very* lucky, whatever civilization has developed here has charted the cosmos and can deliver you to the beyond, just how you wanted.
Depending on how long it's been, they might still KNOW your language, even if it's not commonly spoken they might consider it a holy tongue or a classic version. Maybe try talking to the blobby fellow over there
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Post by mike on Jun 4, 2020 18:05:08 GMT
get laid with the odd flying..lady?
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Post by tailortf on Jul 3, 2020 12:13:01 GMT
>Those lines look like some kind of star map.
Oh yeah, they really do, don’t they? You were too busy being confused and/or afraid before to notice it, but this could actually be really useful! You know, for the time being, obviously once the stars shift around this won’t be too important. You’ll…try not to think about that for now.
>Look at it closer.
You take a few seconds and use your incredible eidetic memory to memorize the entire star chart perfectly. This is incredible! Something like this would take centuries of study to put together! This impresses even your jaded ass. A culture that could create something like this is one you wouldn’t mind being a part of. Maybe you really could coexist with these guys.
==>
Oooor maybe not. You don’t recognize a lot of these words, but you *do* recognize the tone. Looks like this isn’t gonna work out (at least, not for the time being). Welp, time for a morning jog.
==>
DEUCES
>Pet the moth/cat thing.
Okay buddy, you better not spook easily! Time to learn how to drive freaks of nature real quick!
So do you just tug on the saddle or what? You're not good at animal handling. Is there like a button or a word to-
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WHOOP THERE WE GO NEVERMIND
==>
Well, that went better than expected. You’re sure this won’t have any consequences in the future. And even if it does, who cares? It’s the present right now. Yeah, that tracks logically.
So, now that you have ultimate control over the skies, your prospects have widened significantly. The world is your oyster! If the oyster in question was massive and awful and was drooling weird goo on you. This metaphor might not necessarily apply to your current situation. Oh well!
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Saddlebags and Salutations
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Post by Saddlebags and Salutations on Jul 5, 2020 19:52:12 GMT
Well, you may as well get in the saddle rather than hanging like that. Ooh, and search any bags/pockets for whatever kind of trinkets exist in this period.
I'd be willing to bet that the creature is either trying to shake you, or carrying you to its home. If it's the first, you'll be fine. If it's the second, things may get interesting soon. Be ready to crash, or meet MORE hostile locals!
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Post by Cartography on Jul 10, 2020 5:56:01 GMT
I guess you may as well look at scenery / map the land while you are up there.
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Post by tailortf on Jul 19, 2020 6:40:58 GMT
>Might as well get in the saddle instead of hanging like that.
After a stirring performance of "Awkward Airborne Fumbling Ballet", you find yourself in the proper riding position.
Man this thing is calm. Must be specially trained or something. Well, you're not one to look a weird...moth...cat in the mouth.
>Map the land.
Yep, that sure is a lot of...sand. Deserts are always so depressing. Being extremely alive, you're not a fan of a biome where pretty much everything is dead. Still, being up in the air like this is pretty great. It's empowering! Especially when you're not hurtling down towards the ground for once.
>Search the bags for any trinkets that may exist in this time period.
Good point, you *do* like trinkets. Let’s see, what have we got here...miscellaneous desert style trinkets...gray weird-smelling powder...a bunch of rocks with stuff chiselled on them...pretty generic loot. And this last bag has...it has...
==>
DEAR GOD.
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==>
==>
You don’t know why this was in the bag and you don’t care. All you know is this here crappy desert town is probably in dire need of a brand new law’mn and this hat means you're the best pick for the job. All ya gots to do now is assert your authority.
Ayup.
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Post by Help Needed on Jul 21, 2020 3:44:03 GMT
Terry? Skullsbury? A little help here. He's being really weird again. With a Hat.
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Post by tailortf on Jul 25, 2020 1:43:30 GMT
>Be the mysterious stranger.
Right, right! Everyone loves the mysterious stranger. You’re gon’ give these here folks a show. They’ll be talkin’ about this for years, on account a’ there not bein’ much to talk about in the desert n’ all. Ayup.
>Establish dominance in the most universal of ways.
The stranger walks in and the saloon goes silent. They ain’t certain who he is, but they know he’s gonna change their boring crappy lives forever. He’s just that awesome.
He sits down at the bar-
==>
-actually, he decides that the bar ain’t the best place to sit down. Too many barflies not knowing what the hell they’re talkin’ about. He’s liable to get depressed again and nobody likes that. Ain't nobody ever heard of a sad cowboy. Let’s see, what else is a good way to show you’re cool in a bar?
==>
Ah, right! Gambling! He sits down at the table and buys in. He don’t care how much is in that bag he threw on the table. Chances are, it’s enough to buy this whole town twice over (or at least enough for a sandwich).
…hopefully that bag actually has some money in it and he didn’t just throw a bunch of random garbage on the table. He draws.
==>
He takes a look at his hand. The table falls silent...
==>
…then he realizes that he doesn’t actually know how to play whatever game this is. You may have gotten carried away a little with this whole thing. This is what happens when you start puttin’ apostrophes on stuff.
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Post by Ayup on Jul 25, 2020 8:52:46 GMT
Sorry Pardner, but your luck score is too darn low for the Mysterious Stranger (perk). You are the Mysterious Weirdo.
So what are you going to do now that you've goofed it?
Some options:
Play it cool and assume your cards are winners. (Yeah right.)
Get angry, flip the table, run, and get chased out of town.
Swallow pride and engage someone in small talk, and mention that you don't have this game where you are from. Maybe you'll get lucky. Who knows if you even speak their language though.
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Post by tailortf on Jul 29, 2020 4:36:40 GMT
>Eat the cards.
Yeah, no, you’re not that hungry. Also, even though eating your cards is an absolute boss move, you feel like in most games of chance it’s somewhat frowned upon? You’re gonna need an alternate tactic.
>Go all in.
Oh hey, that could work out! You- er, the stranger, he slams down his cards with the coolness of a…cactus in the…desert and -dammit, you can’t even keep up your folksy mysterious ways anymore! THE JUICE IS GONE! FUCK IT, ALL IN!
==>
So… was that you winning the pot? From the look of things, that was not the sight of you winning the pot. In fact, it seems you’re walking away with *less* money than you had before. Great.
>Get angry and flip the table.
Well, FINE! All those stupid assholes were probably just cheating anyway! That’s another classic move! AND YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT IF YOU HAD BEEN *TOLD* THAT CARDS WERE INVOLVED! GRAHH!!
>Engage in some small talk.
Alright, back in it, back in the juice. The stand-off! Everyone loves a good tense scene with some cool lines being said. Your mutant-ese is a little outdated, but you're sure it's still understandable as some sick shade being thrown at your fellow card players. This should get you back in people’s good graces.
==>
Oh, what? That guy?! How good is he at running that he caught up to you *this* quickly?! You’re genuinely impressed at that feat of distance running, especially in the desert.
…though you think people might be a little less impressed at what he’s saying right now.
==>
Um, okay, you can still do something to get the crowd on your side. Grand theft auto is…kind of cool, right? Why, the “dashing rogue” trope harks all the way back to the days of- ohhh boy, this is about to get hairy.
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slate
Juvesquirt
Posts: 16
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Post by slate on Jul 29, 2020 4:53:19 GMT
Stealthily swap hats with someone next to you and go 'It was this guy, I swear'.
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Arcanum Advena Intrat
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Post by Arcanum Advena Intrat on Jul 29, 2020 7:16:02 GMT
Terry: Have a drink while the "dashing rogue" gets beaten up again.
Real Mysterious Stranger: Enter.
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Post by tailortf on Aug 7, 2020 6:01:16 GMT
>You gotta get these people on your side.
Oh please, look at these guys, acting like we haven’t all committed some casual crimes at least *once* in our lives. What a bunch of phonies.
Come on, guys, we can’t just settle this over a drink? Anyone? Drinks? No?
>A round of drinks for everyone!
YOU ARE OFFERING REFRESHMENTS
IT IS RUDE TO REFUSE
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AND A DRINK FOR YOU! AND FOR YOU AS WELL! NO, PLEASE, YOU INSIST
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GO AHEAD AND SIT THIS ONE OUT, BARMAN, YOU’RE THE ONE IN CHARGE TODAY AND THE ONLY THING YOU’RE SERVING UP IS AN ASS WHOOPING
==>
Oh man, that was great! Screw wanting to be the mysterious stranger or whatever, you can just be a bandit! You can just live in some hideout somewhere and mess up a new place every day, then just run away and leave it all behind!
NO CONSEQUENCEEEEEEES
==>
Yeah, surprise, there were consequences. Turns out it’s difficult to hide out in a town of like 100 people and running away in the middle of a desert isn’t exactly an option. People tend to find you.
>Demonstrate your immortality.
Yeah, you did that, in a pretty obvious way, too. They…weren’t impressed. On top of stringing you up, they took your hat, too! And your *shirt*, which you’re a lot more upset over. You know how many immortal shirts there are in the world?! As far as you know, there’s one. *Your* one. That you don’t have on anymore.
At least they let you keep your pants.
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slate
Juvesquirt
Posts: 16
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Post by slate on Aug 7, 2020 14:05:30 GMT
>If you zone out your shirt could end up anywhere on earth, best to deal with this problem now.
>These wooden things don't look very balanced. Try swinging yourself forwards & backwards to see if you can get it to tip over.
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