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Post by Piono on Jan 5, 2017 14:09:00 GMT
Oh, so we're either on a different world/in a different time between our Spades and Hearts, or there's gonna be TWO Hearts. Actually, there may be anyways.
>Spade: Fiddle with the box, perhaps there is a puzzle mechanism?
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Post by yokcos on Jan 5, 2017 19:37:15 GMT
Spade: Fiddle with the box, perhaps there is a puzzle mechanism? Can you twist the triangle or the circle?Of course! With the indented triangle on top and needlessly complex design of it, the box is clearly a mechanical puzzle! It doesn't budge at all. Spades: Go find a dwarf. Ask them how to open the box."Hey you! How do you open this box!"The dwarf who always lies replies: "Aha! You return at last! Worry not, for I can tell you how to open the box!" The dwarf who always gives bad advice(?) whispers loud enough for you to hear. "(do you actually know how to open that?)" "I will tell you the ingenious solution BUT FIRST! THERE IS A TEST! TO SEE IF YOU ARE WORTHY!!!" "(oh don't)" "You shall answer me these questions three! FIRST QUESTION! What has four legs in the morning and three legs in the afternoon and two legs in the evening!?" "(come on even i guessed that one)" "(Yeah but you're good at riddles)" "(i think you got it wrong, isn't it two legs in the afternoon?)" "(I said that, don't worry about it)" You're not sure if you should tell them that you can hear them. edit: "there's gonna be TWO Hearts. Actually, there may be anyways." made me think of this: no comment on the correctness/incorrectness of this theory
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Post by eerr on Jan 5, 2017 22:08:09 GMT
>If I bring you some gold will you tell me how to open the box?
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Post by Piono on Jan 6, 2017 2:59:49 GMT
>A horse that has its legs chopped off every few hours.
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Post by Poligrizolph on Jan 6, 2017 3:05:49 GMT
> Spades: Threaten them with the Eight of Spades maneuver.
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Post by yokcos on Jan 6, 2017 22:17:11 GMT
A horse that has its legs chopped off every few hours.The dwarf considers your answer for a second. "I was thinking of a person but I think that works as well so you got that right. Right, now ANSWER ME THIS QUESTION NUMBER TWO! What is my name?!" Spades: Threaten them with the Eight of Spades maneuver.Enough of this poppycock! You tell them that if they don't spill the beans you'll use the legendary Eight Of Spades maneuver on them! Across the cosmos all fear the wrath of 8S, you tell them. None have survived against it, you continue. The dwarves are terrified. They stand there and shake in fear and silence. You assume that they are unable to talk for terror. Obviously the stick isn't working, but you do have a carrot available... If I bring you some gold will you tell me how to open the box?The dwarf considers your offer for a nanosecond. "Yes. Give."
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Post by eerr on Jan 7, 2017 11:21:34 GMT
>Grab a weapon and go dwarf hunting! Those other dwarves were probably bickering over gold.
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Post by yokcos on Jan 8, 2017 19:41:20 GMT
It's a village on a hill. It's a crater on a hill. Those other dwarves were probably bickering over gold.Ooh, I see where you're going with this! Grab a weapon and go dwarf hunting!Capital idea! Just one problem: You don't know how to get back up.
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Post by eerr on Jan 8, 2017 22:37:20 GMT
>Get a pickaxe and start digging. After all, it's what you do!
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Post by Piono on Jan 9, 2017 17:09:45 GMT
How big and strong are your golems? You could summon one, have it toss you up through the hole, and then let it melt in the lava so you can summon another one later.
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Post by yokcos on Jan 10, 2017 15:51:08 GMT
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Post by Piono on Jan 10, 2017 17:01:47 GMT
Oh look, warriors. What are they doing?
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Post by yokcos on Jan 10, 2017 18:30:13 GMT
Oh look, warriors. What are they doing?Who says they're warriors? They could just be ordinary people carrying a probably military flag, here to give cake to the dwarves. "We are here to take the Bastion. Stand not in our way, heathen, and we have no quarrel with you."
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Post by Poligrizolph on Jan 10, 2017 21:08:48 GMT
> Offer to steal the Bastion for them.
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Post by Piono on Jan 10, 2017 23:43:51 GMT
>Go along/around and watch the battle, then beat up the remains of the victors and take their gold.
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Post by Con Air on Jan 15, 2017 1:14:34 GMT
Betty de Famme: Appear.
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Post by yokcos on Jan 17, 2017 17:02:16 GMT
Stand in his way You run ahead of the warriors to block them. "You shall not pass!" Offer to steal the Bastion for them. "Lies and slander! You cannot clear this place of dwarves alone!" You're not sure how dwarficide is related to theft. Get a Skeleton to stand in his way.... surely much more amusing. Alright but they just sneak past you while you're summoning it. Go along/around and watch the battle You pull up a chair and get ready to watch them duke it out. Betty De Famme: Appear. There is no Betty De Famme. There is, however, a Betty LeChamme. Betty LeChamme has been alerted of an incoming beast. According to her source, this beast is the size of a small town and is capable of somehow exploding said small town. Her source informs her that it's about half an hour away and is headed right toward her. Her source is the view out of this window right here. What will Betty do about this?
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Post by Poligrizolph on Jan 17, 2017 18:46:44 GMT
> Nothing, but claim that you tried your best.
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Post by yokcos on Jan 17, 2017 21:47:49 GMT
Nothing, but claim that you tried your best.Okay she'll do absolutely nothing but first she'll try implementing a trick that she has up her sleeve, and she'll try her best. For this maneuver she will need some assistance from the rest of the Cult Of People Who Hide Their Faces For No Reason. Johnny has finally chewed through the outer shell of the Lava Appendage. Lava is unsurprisingly gushing from the wound.
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Post by Piono on Jan 17, 2017 22:10:26 GMT
>Johnny stop being stupid and rejoin your commander.
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Post by Con Air on Jan 19, 2017 1:45:15 GMT
Johnny: Drink the lava. Betty LeChamme: Punch one of the assassins in the face.
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Post by Con Air on Jan 20, 2017 3:44:55 GMT
(Just asking, could you revive the Macgyver thread on Gamemaker? It was awesome. "VOTE YOKCOS OR BE ETERNALLY PELTED WITH SANDALS!")
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Post by yokcos on Jan 24, 2017 15:38:41 GMT
Betty and her dumb cult prepare to cast a large spell. Her sources tell her that the beast will absorb any damage dealt to it and use that power to grow stronger. If they manage to land a strong enough blow, however, it will be killed, claims one source. The source is a crystal ball that has the amazing ability to allow her to communicate with faraway people. Isn't magic amazing!? "What does not make me stronger kills me" The beast has been slain. We shalln't be seeing it ever again. 30 minutes later, in the same general area: Johnny: Drink the lava. Johnny: Obtain some lava for later. Not sure if you know this, but lava is incredibly hot and quite deadly indeed. Any attempt to consume or store lava would surely kill poor Johnny in an instant! You should be ashamed of yourself and your attempts to kill this lass. Shame on you! Johnny stop being stupid and rejoin your commander. Your entire party comes to your side to join you in staring at the thing above you that you're staring at and that the audience is unable to see. We are all wondering what it could be! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it that beast from earlier that we all thought was dead? It's the last one. There's a monster in your town. Yeah, you said it, this is your town now. Anyone wants to dispute that, you'll paint the walls with their internal organs. Anyway, what are you going to do about this monster? Spade: Adjust your chair to sit more comfortably. Oh man that was uncomfortable. Now that the chair is oriented in a reasonable way, you are ready to enjoy the carnage. You wonder if it'll be at all one-sided.
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Post by Piono on Jan 25, 2017 13:52:29 GMT
>Hearts: Uh... got any cards on you, because the only ability you've got ready right now that'll so much as scratch that thing is your Ace of Hearts maneuver, which happens to be on cooldown.
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Post by yokcos on Jan 25, 2017 14:33:50 GMT
Spade: Make some popcorn or something, what's the fun in a show without snacks.Unfortunately, making popcorn appear isn't one of your powers. Maybe there's some popcorn in the room somewhere? Stop fighting for a moment everyone! You've got popcorn to find! There was conveniently some right behind the bar. Okay, carry on fighting to the death. Heart: Attempt to woo the beast.The beast rejects your attempt. You land in a nearby building. Johnny: Break the fourth wall.Fourth wall? There are a lot of walls around here and Johnny doesn't know which of them is fourth. She doesn't even know which is first! What order do the walls come in? Is there a secret order of walls that she doesn't know about? Hearts: Uh... got any cards on you, because the only ability you've got ready right now that'll so much as scratch that thing is your Ace of Hearts maneuver, which happens to be on cooldown. You have a rules card, which will do nothing but tell you what the enemy is capable of. Still, you're fairly confident that you can defeat the beastie, and hubris has never caused you any trouble whatsoever!
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