Adventure Plots Up For Grabs Thread 5: So There's This Guy

You are a caveman. After a fierce battle, you have killed a mighty Dinosaur! Praise Thog! The Tribes will eat tonight! But then a Time-Traveller appears, says something about making a "theme park" and *Yoinks* your dino! Follow this thief through time, for the glory of your tribes!

A adventure made out entirely of dumb or hilariously ridiculous stock photos.

You are the mook of a villain in a comic book/movie/whatever actiony thing universe. You see your comrades die all the time, but for some reason, you are immortal. You wake up every 24 hours after being defeated by the hero. You have tried to be a villain, but it just seems that the universe sways you into being a mook! Now, you are seeking for a way to not be immortal so you can finally be actually killed by the hero.

In the far future, all organic life is threatened by some unknown source. Though humanity struggled to understand and fight this threat, ultimately, they found nothing. As a last resort, the remaining humans uploaded their minds into a computer, letting them live on as their bodies died. Some would live on in robotic bodies, maintaining the computers and continuing research into stopping the threat and someday give humans real, flesh and bones bodies to live in once more. Most, however chose to live out their lives in an immersive, utopian virtual reality. So realistic, in fact, that one could even have children, creating entirely new, purely digital minds that develop the same as real humans. Over many generations, the simulation persisted, now consisting only of people who never had bodies in the first place. Subtle changes occurred, both by deliberate desires and glitches in the program that went unquestioned as people had never known "real" life. It even became forgotten that they were in a simulation at all, and no one knew the fate of those who had chosen robotic bodies. Then, one day, strange glitches of unknown origin appeared in what the residents perceived to be the world, and it's up to them to discover what's going on, learning of their history in the process.

Reposting this here because I'm bad
It is a rainy day. It rains with the tears of innocent. You wake up, screaming at your alarm. It screams back and shuts off. You have a cold. You cough. Screaming men come out of mouth. Their eyes are screaming. You eat them. They taste delicious. You take your medicine, made from dead human skin and dandruff. You feel better. You go to the kitchen and greet your mother. Her tentacles and melting face l ook great today. She gives you a sloppy kiss and adds a tally mark to the number of face bacteria humans she has made insane. You ready up to school, wearing your leather uniform, and go outside. You look at the sun moon. It smiles. You smile back. It tells a joke. Everyone laughs. Even your feet.

Today will be a good day.

It's your standard fantasy RPG setting! Fearsome beasts, deadly dungeons, and the hearts of fair maidens abound, as well as strapping young heroes ready to conquer them all!

Except...you're not a hero. You're the guy who hands out the quests. Not the cool main questline ones, either, you're like Farmer Dan whose fields just keep getting taken over by those darn dire rats, or the blacksmith who never seems to have enough material to make that sweet-ass sword that's obviously for the hero who fetches it. And man are you bitter.

One day, a hero shows up on your doorstep looking for a quest. And you don't know what it is, maybe this guy's just a little too bright-eyed and full of adventurous spirit, maybe you're just sick of the same old song and dance. You decide to mess with him. You give him a ridiculous quest, to retrieve some item you made up on the spot from a person or place you pulled out of your ass.

And somehow, he does it. He brings you the item you didn't even know existed and tells you all about the epic adventure he went on to retrieve it. He asks you for another quest. And you oblige. No matter what stupid, made-up quest you send him on, he somehow manages to complete it and now the kid thinks you're secretly some kind of prophet in hiding who's sending him on the true quest to become the ultimate hero or whatever. And so he keeps coming back, over and over, asking for the next quest.

There are two ways I see this adventure going:
1) You're starting to wonder if he's messing with you.
2) What are you going to do with all these incredible artifacts he keeps bringing you?

You are a wealthy businessman. Over the years, you've taken to blackmailing various people to grow your wealth further. But, tonight, you have devised a keen plan. You will invite them all to your house for a fancy dinner party, and kill one of them. In secret. This should convince the others to keep paying your blackmail extortion money.

Basically, aggressive Clue, where you are the master of the house. Can you Get Away with It?

[Main character] sees an old man on a busy street in a big city, he's being ignored by everyone else, he's holding a sign that says "can you see me".
Protag wakes up and then interdimentional shenanigans happen

It is the dystopian scifi future-past of yesteryear, where sleep is a commodity which must be purchased and earned rather than pursued at one's leisure. The system, enforced through special government-sanctioned implants that shock awake unlawful sleepers and inject potent sedatives into those who have ponied up for the night, is less than ideal; however, it provides motivation for law-abiding citizens to seek employment, actively work, and altogether do their part for the community, ultimately contributing to a nationwide idea of practicality and purpose.

You are an ordinary and boring citizen of this society, save for two important distinctions. Firstly, you celebrated your eighteenth yesterday, the age at which everyone gets their implant and a single complimentary dose of drug-induced sleep. And last night the literal best sleep you've ever had. The second, unfortunately, is that you are ABSURDLY UNEMPLOYABLE, due to an uncanny lack of all trade skills, good looks, and any legitimate work experience whatsoever. Your parents and friends cannot legally give you any money to help -- as this would discourage being a productive, self-sustaining citizen -- and so your life is now a constant cycle of job hunting and forced insomnia.

It won't be pretty, but you'll either land a decent gig or die trying -- and it's gonna be a helluva ride searching for that decent, livable career.

And just maybe, if you're brave enough, and enough of a game master, you will reach level red, where you will face ... the dreaded cone!

Edit: Just noticed this is my 413th post!

If one is up for it:
Famous cryptids from all around the world are sick of being misrepresented by human media, so they team up to actually put up an effort to make themselves known and out of the shadows of mystery.