inspiredsimji
Gritty Midget
Posts: 263
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by inspiredsimji on Mar 3, 2017 4:13:24 GMT
Honestly? It sucks. There's clearly no effort put into it, judging by the incredibly liberal use of stock images and clipart. Putting aside the casual antisemitism, "shock humor" is code for "I'm not funny so I might as well pander to racists and bigots, who actually find this kind of thing funny". So yeah. 0/10, complete garbage. well, I suppose you can't please everyone. This was a sort of minimum effort post with intentional stylistic suck, but your criticisms are still perfectly valid. Also don't worry, I'm not an actual anti-semite. Like I said it's all in good fun. Yeah, real fucking fun. There are some things that are just bad, whether they're done seriously or not. You should be ashamed.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 4:49:28 GMT
well, I suppose you can't please everyone. This was a sort of minimum effort post with intentional stylistic suck, but your criticisms are still perfectly valid. Also don't worry, I'm not an actual anti-semite. Like I said it's all in good fun. Yeah, real fucking fun. There are some things that are just bad, whether they're done seriously or not. You should be ashamed. I know that this is a constructive criticism thread and all, but don't you think you're overreacting a bit? It might be just me, but "you should be ashamed" does not sound like valid criticism.
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inspiredsimji
Gritty Midget
Posts: 263
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by inspiredsimji on Mar 3, 2017 4:52:34 GMT
Yeah, real fucking fun. There are some things that are just bad, whether they're done seriously or not. You should be ashamed. I know that this is a constructive criticism thread and all, but don't you think you're overreacting a bit? It might be just me, but "you should be ashamed" does not sound like valid criticism. I mean, if antisemitism weren't an actual huge problem in the world, then yeah, maybe I'd be overreacting. But it is a huge problem, especially these days, and making jokes about killing jews just encourages antisemites to do their shit.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 4:55:15 GMT
I know that this is a constructive criticism thread and all, but don't you think you're overreacting a bit? It might be just me, but "you should be ashamed" does not sound like valid criticism. I mean, if antisemitism weren't an actual huge problem in the world, then yeah, maybe I'd be overreacting. But it is a huge problem, especially these days, and making jokes about killing jews just encourages antisemites to do their shit. Yes because it's a well-known fact that anti-semites are frequent browsers of mspfa. Even if that case were true. It's a h**king satirical webcomic involving mario with a gun. Did you actually take it as 100% serious?
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inspiredsimji
Gritty Midget
Posts: 263
Pronouns: they/them/theirs
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Post by inspiredsimji on Mar 3, 2017 4:58:44 GMT
I mean, if antisemitism weren't an actual huge problem in the world, then yeah, maybe I'd be overreacting. But it is a huge problem, especially these days, and making jokes about killing jews just encourages antisemites to do their shit. Yes because it's a well-known fact that anti-semites are frequent browsers of mspfa. Even if that case were true. It's a h**king satirical webcomic involving mario with a gun. Did you actually take it as 100% serious? Dude. Just because you say "just kidding" doesn't mean anything you say is automatically a funny joke. And I mean, do people find this shit funny? If so, they're probably in some form antisemites.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 5:21:20 GMT
At this point you're acting completely ridiculous so I'm going to leave before you pop a vein.
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Post by staircaseofkneecaps on Mar 27, 2017 17:14:14 GMT
You're both pretty Anyway I'm on mobile and don't know bbcode so I'm just posting the link below. Butteryfly Effect omegaupdate.freeforums.net/thread/1072/butteryfly-effectThe feel I had in mind when I made it was a Legend of Zelda/Problem Sleuth thing. It's written with normal pencil and paper. Roast me
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Post by eerr on Mar 28, 2017 9:16:30 GMT
At this point you're acting completely ridiculous so I'm going to leave before you pop a vein. You wrote it, that means it's your voice.
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Post by yokcos on Apr 19, 2017 1:49:13 GMT
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Post by beefrocks on May 13, 2017 6:04:44 GMT
I have to say that in some panels (like yokcos.co.uk/adventures/?story=sfwh&page=0047), I have difficulty distinguishing exactly what lines are what. I see some of your latest panels do contain some additional color and shading, making them a lot easier to understand. That's good; the purpose of any picture is to show the viewer what's happening, so clarity is important above all else. On the other hand, your animation work is spectacular and your writing is compelling. The story reads surprisingly good. I've read stories before and this is definitely one of the better ones. I'll have to write up a full review at a later date, but for now it seems like this story's an 8/10. Maybe even 9! On an unrelated note, I'm officially opening Bradstuck to critique.
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Post by privatemumbles on May 29, 2017 18:49:24 GMT
Rigged isn't that long yet, but so far I've really only had my friends as a source of critique and error spotting, so I'd be interested in what people thought of it thus far mspfanventures.com/?s=20259
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Post by ten 11 on May 30, 2017 2:32:54 GMT
I really like it, the premise has a whole ton of interesting potential. Also its good.
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Post by mementovivere on Jun 9, 2017 23:43:02 GMT
Now that my first ever fanventure CorpSet is more comfortably underway, I wouldn't mind some critique! You can read it on the forums or on MSPFA (whenever it's not down). I'm no stranger to making comics in general, but telling a story with commands is an interesting experience to say the least...
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Post by twotriickhoofbea2t on Jun 17, 2017 22:28:43 GMT
Hey! it's still in the Cradle (for now) but i feel there's enough content, perhaps someone could Critique my adventure: Umber Mountain? I'm not the best writer, nor the best self-critic, so outside viewpoints would sure help!
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Post by Wessolf27 on Jun 30, 2017 7:39:14 GMT
I apologize that I'm breaking the rule of this thread, but could someone critique Re-probus (it's on my signature)? It doesn't have to be posted here, It can be moved to a separate thread or simply a PM me or write it in a spoiler tag on the thread itself if it needs to be. I'm simply posting here because there doesn't seem to be a place dedicated for critique on things other than forum adventures.
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Post by privatemumbles on Jul 1, 2017 1:00:51 GMT
Now that my first ever fanventure CorpSet is more comfortably underway, I wouldn't mind some critique! You can read it on the forums or on MSPFA (whenever it's not down). I'm no stranger to making comics in general, but telling a story with commands is an interesting experience to say the least... So, I don’t know if I can give a completely great critique but I should give a shot at it! Corpset is one of my favorite kinds of adventures, wacky and open ended. I should keep in mind that that is because It’s only recently started, but I still think it has such a great charm in both the art and in the dialogue. Daesdemona is a scientist (kind of) but it seems from her interactions with the other scientists not a single one of them adheres to the boring old ideas of what scientists have to be, which is, well, boring and smart and single minded on their research. A small failing(?) I would say is one too many references to other works, but who am I to judge what you want in your own comic? I called it a failing but I think a cheeky call to some other series is fun. All in all, I’m excited to see where Corpset goes!
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EKToRNo
Nipper Cadet
Holaaaaa
Posts: 70
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by EKToRNo on Jul 2, 2017 0:37:44 GMT
Alright. You guys should critique my story. It's called Spin-Off. It's about cats and some lizards. But it's set in the universe of The Elder Scrolls so it's not furry I swear.
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Post by Wessolf27 on Jul 27, 2017 11:03:01 GMT
EKToRNo : Furry or not, it looks alright, though I gotta say the pictures were a bit overwhelming when I opened the page and kinda drowned out what little text was written between them. Maybe just resize them a little so that the words don't get lost. I also kinda wish that when we read about the stories behind the characters, we also get to see a little bit of what's going on and what's affecting who, so when Katherine says that she was being chased by the worshipers of a vampiric cult, we get to see just a bit more of what happened, unless of course, there's spoilers there. mementovivere: So far so good! I'm glad we're starting to go places with the plot, being trapped in the room with little idea to go was a little frustrating at the beginning. Or was that intended?
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grandhope
Greentike
grand panel making
Posts: 3
Pronouns: he/him/his
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Post by grandhope on Aug 15, 2017 16:47:07 GMT
Anyone mind giving Hearthlocked a happy little review? I'm open to all sorts of criticism (as long as it isn't too rude)
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Post by msrmfan1 on Jul 5, 2018 18:04:42 GMT
Could someone critique my fanventure AUstuckv2? I'd like to know how I can improve it. :-)
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finepoint
Boy-Skylark
Posts: 138
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by finepoint on Jan 15, 2019 16:11:35 GMT
hey losers, review the best fanventure on mspfa if you're bad enough igig.mspfa.com
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Post by C-Star on Jan 21, 2019 6:42:50 GMT
hey losers, review the best fanventure on mspfa if you're bad enough igig.mspfa.comSuper neat art, color, and pacing of the events. The writing is nice! It's intriguing and inviting while keeping explicit progress at bay, much like the first act of Homestuck. The racy humor is something I haven't seen before in a story like this. It's an unexpectedly nice change of pace. For improvement, I'd suggest speeding up your small-scale pacing and timing. I'm seeing a lot of panels that are basically the same as the previous panel. I wasn't always sure if I had successfully advanced to the next page even after 2 clicks. You can save some reader confusion and save yourself the trouble of making some extra gifs by focusing on the keyframes of the story rather than the tweens. Eg: don't include mismo drawing her folded hands off of the table, just cut to the art book getting tossed onto it. If there's no text to communicate and no important new visuals to display, skip to the next thing. That said. when you do succeed at this, it works really well. Crazy nice art. Love the hatching. love the thickness of the lips and eyebrows. Rad visuals.
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finepoint
Boy-Skylark
Posts: 138
Pronouns: she/her/hers
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Post by finepoint on Jan 27, 2019 1:47:04 GMT
hey losers, review the best fanventure on mspfa if you're bad enough igig.mspfa.comSuper neat art, color, and pacing of the events. The writing is nice! It's intriguing and inviting while keeping explicit progress at bay, much like the first act of Homestuck. The racy humor is something I haven't seen before in a story like this. It's an unexpectedly nice change of pace. For improvement, I'd suggest speeding up your small-scale pacing and timing. I'm seeing a lot of panels that are basically the same as the previous panel. I wasn't always sure if I had successfully advanced to the next page even after 2 clicks. You can save some reader confusion and save yourself the trouble of making some extra gifs by focusing on the keyframes of the story rather than the tweens. Eg: don't include mismo drawing her folded hands off of the table, just cut to the art book getting tossed onto it. If there's no text to communicate and no important new visuals to display, skip to the next thing. That said. when you do succeed at this, it works really well. Crazy nice art. Love the hatching. love the thickness of the lips and eyebrows. Rad visuals. aww, thanks dude that's real sweet. and thank you for the advice as well, i genuinely like to draw everything out as thoroughly as possible and experiment with things i think would look cool, but it does seriously make the pacing suffer because of my desire to...animate a 40 frame chewing gif( what was i thinking) and other dumb things. figuring out a good ratio of gifs and still images is difficult for me, but i hope i can refine this as the comic goes on.
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Post by bahinchut on Mar 7, 2019 19:25:20 GMT
Hello, I was hoping to open my dumb little Midnight Crew adventure to critique. It's relatively short at the moment so hopefully it's not too tall of an order. As much as I enjoy making it, I can't help but feel that I'm doing something wrong, so any critique at all would be extremely appreciated.
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Post by Firephantom105 on Jul 10, 2019 23:23:33 GMT
It looks like this thread is dead but if anyone would like to critique my adventure, here it is.
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